Time's Up?
 

Long story short, gf and I have not been getting along since after our one year. She is way too over sensitive and cannot take the fall for anything, even if it is her fault. I grow tiered of trying to talk and reason with her, she becomes ignorant when she is upset so I give up. Today she got jealous because I made a new friend who is more attractive then her and my friend's wanted to talk to the new girl more (note my new friend has a bf). Bottom line, I don't know what to do anymore. She would ditch me for her friends any day, but I would leave her for my friends any day. I feel unappreciated and shitty. She's dumped me twice and I've went back to her both times. This is the last time I am going to go through a break up with her so I have to be sure it's what I want. So, should I stay or should I go?

Serious replies only please. Thanks for reading.

cliffs notes:

-Shit's gone sour right on day 1 of their first year together, and it's just getting worse.
-GF is being too sensitive and touchy and bitchy all the time, gets upset at the dumbest things and now OP doesn't care no more
-OP gives up on being the apologetic one and is fed up with her bitching at him all the time
-Now GF gets all jealous over OP's new friend being hotter and getting more attention from OP and his friends.
-What to do?
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OK my reply.

You know she's like this already, and she's proven time and time again she won't change, she's still so bitchy. You can't change a person without that person's will to change, and I think it's clear she doesn't have that will.

She thinks that her friends are more important, and she won't go after you if you're the one to break it off... doesn't that say a lot about how she feels about you? I think you love her a lot more than she loves you. Otherwise she'd put more effort on making your relationship work.

If she's being this big of a bitch then I think it's better to just leave her.

I didnt read a single positive thing about your relationship with this girl in your post. I think that it is obvious what the answer is, it's time to leave this one behind.

This brings back memories of me..
I actually was like you, infact everything was corrected haha. However, we got back together 3 times.
you should talk to her . I mean if you can last a year then a talk wont hurt.
If that doesnt work, well you know the other answer.

^ He's said that he has tried to talk to her and be reasonable. Believe me when I say that he would ditch his friends (me and our crew) for her any day, but he'll be ditched for her friends at her whim.

Bottom line is, if she's unreasonable to begin with then there's no way you can use reason to make her truly realize what she's doing. We both know how crushed you are over her and that you want to make your first love work out, but love won't work when there's only one putting effort into the relationship. It takes two to tango, and it looks like your partner's stepping on your toes and making you stumble.

Just know that she's not the only one, you've got a long life to live and certainly she will not be the last lover. You'll find someone better, and when you compare you'll ask yourself why you even went out with your ex in the first place when she treated you like shit. I know you can do better. I know you're definitely sociable enough, certainly more sociable than I, and as much as I hate to admit it, I know you'll probably find a new girl sooner than I will.

The question is, do you really love this person who treats you like shit, or are you clinging to this relationship for the wrong reasons?

If you're holding on because you think she'll change for you, she's made it clear thus far that she'll only change for herself or for her friends. If you're holding on because she's your first, like I said she won't be the last and you're too young to be seriously dating her like this in the first place. If you're holding on because you still really love her, and think that you can grow to accept this side of her with time, then well you're in for a rough ride.

If you're holding on because of the sex, well you're not really getting much at the moment are you? But that's a whole 'nother issue :P

^Well the other day I decided to tell her my theory of why she's been acting like this. I told her I thought it was sexual tension and surprisingly she agreed. Her exact words were "Maybe it is because we haven't 'seen' each other in a while." If that's the only thing that is going to keep our relationship together then I don't want it.

Is your gf CH?

lol.

Half jap half white. but i cant help but think there is some chinese in there XD.

^ Well she's not getting enough abby992 in there. :P

Dude, honestly if that's what it takes then bring her to a hotel to fuck. Otherwise, tell her to gtfo.

do you still enjoy being around her or is it a chore. when you dread her phone calls and auto think of reasons to blow off seeing her, its time to end it.

^He's probably on the opposite side of that: she's the one that'll ditch him, he's the one who calls to work things out to the point where she thinks it's annoying.

In which case, the imbalance is still there and Bonethug is right, it's time to end it.

Lately, I have been standing my ground. When she acts up I stand up to it or ignore her. But she has called me clingy in the past and as demanded more space for her friends. So I did what she asked and yet, she still acts up. I have talked to her since the spaz attack about my new friend. She apoligized to me but I'm not sure if I can forgive her... She ignored me from Granville to Newton exchange because my friends didn't want to talk to her. I have no control over that, infact the whole reason my friends back off us was because she was demanding my attention so in the long run they were respecting us.

I think its time for you to leave
Like mentioned earlier, I didnt read a single positive thing in your initial post

If you're complaining this much, just break up with her.

From your posts it just seems like you have only complaints about her.
Why are you still with her if you feel this way?
If it's just you guys being "distant" it's time to fix that. XD

It's not that I don't enjoy being with her or anything. It's that when I am with her she can change very fast. We are our first, it's just hard to let go of someone like that. I just read the post about being comfortable with someone and it is true in my case.

the bitchiness of an asian girl and the ironfist of a white girl, you're fucked. HAHAHA

how do you know she's a halfie

You don't just keep dragging it on just because it's your first. In my first relationship, things had been going bad for ages and I was constantly thinking about breaking up but I never did it because I just couldn't let it go. I would have probably kept it going for longer had my SO at the time not done the breaking up. I think you know what you should do but are just scared to do it.

Werd. Don't just be in it for the sake of it. Do it for yourself. Lots of people don't want to break up their first and whatever they have when they're really unhappy because they are weak mentally. Sooner or later, you just have to learn to be strong enough to let go. My advice to you is do it now then later man. Looking back sometime later, you won't regret it.

I'm gonna have to go with your gf on this one and call you clingy. Not that I'm going to make fun of you for it, but just an insight on "clingy people," they tend to really be burdensome and may explain why she's moody or easily bitchy at times. Sometimes when one is really troublesome or that much of a nuisance of a company, people are just looking for an excuse to get angry all the time.

...Why haven't you left her yet?

Because he can't.
Despite all his talks and thoughts, the guy is just so clung to her that it's just not in his ability to do so. Unless he has another girl as a safety net to cling onto, I don't see how he can become unclung. The only way for this to end is for her to dump him again for his own benefit and actually put her foot down and not let him back.

Sucks to say, but the best thing for him right now is for her to hurt him bad. Anything less will not get the point across and will just string his misery along for a lot longer.

I see your view Noir and it holds true to me in some ways. She does act the way she does because of my "clingyness" but for the past couple months I've been anything but clingy. I don't even kiss her unless she comes up to me first JUST to be on the safe side, yet she still finds reasons to get angry. So, I realize that it's not me who has the "problem" but I did provoke this habit to begin with. We talked today after avoiding her for a few days to see what i would get from RS and I told her this is our last chance. I told her I would help her to fix this bad habit if not for me, then perhaps for her next boyfriend. I also said I'm only going to give it one more go and if we (she in particular) get into another big argument then I know we just weren't meant for each other. It sucks but that's life... Thanks for all responses, they helped me in my decision.