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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 02-23-2009, 07:15 PM   #1
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Boyfriend Keeps Harping About My Weight

I've been dating with my boyfriend for a year and a half but he constantly badgers me about losing weight. Granted, I am chubby and I'm not naturally skinny. I am perfectly healthy and I go to the gym about 3-4 times a week for an hour each time. It just seems like that extra 10-20 pounds would make him like me more. This really bothers me and I've talked to him before to stop pressuring me and it has decreased somewhat. I just don't think that he cares about me that much. He should accept me as is. This sucks! Also, I've been in this exact situation before with my other exes. Why are guys so damn superficial???!!!!!

p.s. I've dated guys before who were obese as well as skinny guys.

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Old 02-23-2009, 07:23 PM   #2
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Hm...did he just start doing that recently?
Maybe you two can hit the gym together and show him that you are taking care of yourself and making an effort to live a healthy lifestyle .
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Old 02-23-2009, 07:51 PM   #3
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Tell him to gain 15 pounds all all muscle and that you'll lose 15 pounds of fat.
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Old 02-23-2009, 07:52 PM   #4
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Nothing wrong with a little meat on your bones.
That said, if there are some serious health issues involved (diabetes, hypo-glycemia etc...) then I could understand his concern if in fact he is more concerned about your health and not your looks.

If he is only concerned with your looks regarding your weight, ditch him and move on. There are a ton of guys out there that like bigger women.

Not all guys are superficial.
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Old 02-23-2009, 07:58 PM   #5
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Old 02-23-2009, 08:15 PM   #6
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lol. its only fair if you yourself admit you are over weight and the guy is in good shape. eat better instead of gyming more. why should he like you for what you are especially if you are not the way you looked when he started dating you. thats not fair to him.
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Old 02-23-2009, 08:21 PM   #7
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The thing is...I am the same weight as I was when I started dating him. As well, he is overweight himself. He goes to the gym several times a week but I don't say anything about HIS weight.
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Old 02-23-2009, 08:31 PM   #8
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then tell him to fuck off. hypocrites piss me off. tell him to lose weight too. if not start talking to other guys in anticipation of leaving.
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Old 02-23-2009, 08:46 PM   #9
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What a guy... -_-;;
Hypocrites are the worst. Maybe you can go to the gym together and make it a fun thing.
If he's still being a douche then tell him, or leave.
Perhaps he's just worried about your health like people have said. =S
Talk to him about and and make your decisions from that.
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Old 02-23-2009, 08:51 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by orgasm_donor View Post
Nothing wrong with a little meat on your bones.
That said, if there are some serious health issues involved (diabetes, hypo-glycemia etc...) then I could understand his concern if in fact he is more concerned about your health and not your looks.

If he is only concerned with your looks regarding your weight, ditch him and move on. There are a ton of guys out there that like bigger women.

Not all guys are superficial.
Well said
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Old 02-23-2009, 09:39 PM   #11
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Old 02-23-2009, 09:46 PM   #12
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The thing is...I am the same weight as I was when I started dating him. As well, he is overweight himself. He goes to the gym several times a week but I don't say anything about HIS weight.
like OD said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl with a bit of meat on her. i use to deal with weight issues when i was younger but now that i'm older i have learned to embrace my curvy nature. from what you're telling us, it seems like you are happy with the way you are (as you should be) and i don't think you should be changing yourself for anyone. if your boyfriend is going to be a complete jerk and keep on calling you out on something you're totally comfortable with then maybe it's time to re-evaluate the relationship.

you don't need someone there constantly putting you down when you are being proactive and going to the gym (etc etc). it takes a lot of motivation and effort to keep going.

and also, there are guys who will love you for who you are. believe it!
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Old 02-23-2009, 10:09 PM   #13
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like OD said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl with a bit of meat on her. i use to deal with weight issues when i was younger but now that i'm older i have learned to embrace my curvy nature.
curvy eh...

i kid i kid

If he's making such a big deal about it tell him to drop some pounds, go on a diet together.
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Old 02-23-2009, 10:13 PM   #14
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depends I guess. I mean if u ar elike 5'2 and are like 140lbs then yes I think there are health issue. But if you are like 5'8 and with 140lbs I think that's fine.

Without more details we can't really help you.
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Old 02-23-2009, 10:15 PM   #15
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how old are you both?
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Old 02-23-2009, 11:27 PM   #16
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curvy eh...

oh, the things you don't see
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:17 AM   #17
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hmmmm
reading this forum makes me wanna workout even harder now
and no there's nothing wrong with a little meat

as long as your healthy

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Old 02-24-2009, 01:04 AM   #18
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leave that man
u deserve way better

and dedicate "i'm leavin" by jesse mccartney to him

tell him u cant handle "ALLL THAAAAT", u cant handle ALL THAAT"

just keep doing what ur doing.. ur doing what 3/4 of population dont do. exercise.
good job.
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:14 AM   #19
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tell him that unless he grows 2 more inches down there, you're not going to lose 2 inches off your waist
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:31 AM   #20
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leave that man
u deserve way better

and dedicate "i'm leavin" by jesse mccartney to him

tell him u cant handle "ALLL THAAAAT", u cant handle ALL THAAT"
^- LOLLLLLLLLL

but yes, i dont think u shud change anythign about ureself unless YOU want to. if hes SUGGESTING u to lose weight for health issues thats something else, but since hes critisizing ure weight because of appearance then tell him to shove it
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:59 AM   #21
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haha, why would he say something like that. aren't girls usually insecure about their weight
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:02 AM   #22
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I can't say that you shouldn't go along with your bf's words as I can't imagine what you really are in person. However, Losing 10-20 pounds to make him like you more sounds like a lot which makes me think you are too chubby for your own good. What's your height in comparison to your weight?

Be real about it, no dude wants to bang a bag of bones but on the other hand, seeing a muffin top isn't so appealing either. Your bf is a hypocrite but that is due to the focus that women should prioritize looks more so than the average male. He probably thinks that its the womanly thing to be strive to be attractive, etc. Can't deny that beauty isn't important. The fact you are posting about your bf's concern over your body image already shows you are kinda worried about how you look inside. On a negative note, you been dating for a while and I bet he has grown a bit tired of looking at the same girl while there are 'prettier and skinnier' ones strutting around.... as in "why cant ____ be like them?"

Also, good for you on the exercise. If you are diligently putting those 3-4 hours a week, bravo but exercising doesn't present much results when you live a sendimentary lifestyle outside those 3-4 hours/week and if you're downing big macs/eating out alot.

Personally, I think body image is important to a certain degree. It's everyone's wish to look better in the eyes of others, so strive for it the best you can and as healthy as you can. But if you are so indignant about it (too lazy to put in the extra effort, too stubborn to follow through or truely believe you are fine as you are), then just forget about the bf and move on but be aware of future discrimination (meeting other ppl like your bf).
There are always other boys who can be more discreet and into you. Overall, he sounds pretty insensitive to be constantly bugging you about it with little support.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:30 AM   #23
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honestly.. fuck him, what kind of bf says that to their gf?? if he doesn't like it he can go find somebody else
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:37 AM   #24
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tell him that unless he grows 2 more inches down there, you're not going to lose 2 inches off your waist
to be fair, only one is controlable. extenze is expensive. it doesnt cost anything to eat less.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:47 AM   #25
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to be fair, only one is controlable. extenze is expensive. it doesnt cost anything to eat less.
actually you save money by eating less
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