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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 03-04-2009, 02:43 AM   #1
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When/how to ask the girl out ? + ideal first date

known this girl for about 1 week, now I've been way from the dating scene for quite some time now. I seem to click with this girl, met her at work but we work at different schools. Met her 2 times this week and won't be again until a week or 2 before I meet her again. After work today I offered her a ride home eventhough it was out of my way home, she knew that but she didn't refuse. Conversation was great throughout the whole ride to her house.

I don't know if I should take take all of this ?, slow, get to know her better ?, stay friends first ? or rush into asking her out, getting to know her more etc...

Is it ok to ask the girl out only knowing her for 2-3 weeks ?
How should I approach asking her out ?, ask for number first ?, etc...
Also, what would be an ideal first date (besides movies) , somewhere, where we can have nice conversations.

Please keep this thread clean and appropriate, like mentioned earlier, I've been outta the game for quite some time, so some of my quesitons might sound kinda noobie. I guess I have to gain the confidence back.

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Old 03-04-2009, 05:12 AM   #2
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I don't know if I should take take all of this ?, slow, get to know her better ?, stay friends first ? or rush into asking her out, getting to know her more etc...
You should stay calm, rather than scare her away. Girls hate desperate guys. If she lets you occupy her time, then you are on the right track.


Is it ok to ask the girl out only knowing her for 2-3 weeks ?
fuck, I ask her right away. Why do you wait?

How should I approach asking her out ?, ask for number first ?, etc...
Ask her naturally. If she says yes, good for you. If she says no, which means you have to try harder

Also, what would be an ideal first date (besides movies) , somewhere, where we can have nice conversations.
lunch, movies, dessert, coffee, my place


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Old 03-04-2009, 06:11 AM   #3
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Don't take this into very serious consideration,
it's something I have in the works right now.

Recently I've been trying to work up ways for girls to ask me out instead of the traditional other way around.
I figured, most people would rather have the satisfaction of working towards something than have something come to them.

For example,
you said that you felt that you two really clicked--I'm assuming it's through your conversations and body language.
What I would do with this, is that when a conversation is about to come to an end, ask her something like:
"We really need to continue this conversation sometime, what means can we take to make sure of that?"

This gives her the opening to give you her number (or even exchange numbers--if she's interested enough). And once she does, it's just a toss up as to who asks who out.

As asian_XL posted, a coffee shop/ dessert shop or anything of the kind is a great place for well-read couples to have a good conversation. If you want something a little less high-society-like, there's always places like Bubble World, etc.
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Old 03-04-2009, 06:13 AM   #4
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And, don't wait.
Give her a comfort zone, but be aggressive with your time.
If you don't do it, somebody else will.
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Old 03-04-2009, 11:11 AM   #5
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if anything its too late now. ask within the first 3 days of knowing her. i dont know how to do it any other way.
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Old 03-04-2009, 01:05 PM   #6
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^^ wow 3 days pretty craazy haha

important thing is never wait

and NEVER fall into the friends Zone!
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Old 03-04-2009, 01:07 PM   #7
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and to not fall into friend zone is to flirt


but what are your GUYS definition of FLIRT?
or HOw to flirt?

touching would be a start..(not perverted) like touch on arm. etc. at first
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Old 03-04-2009, 02:37 PM   #8
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i was in a rush to get to class when i posted what i posted. i mean that you have to get her number and show interest in her so that she knows you wanna date her. you talk on the phone, develop a rapport, prove to each other that you are both worthy of the others time and can hold a conversation, before you commit to risking to what could be a bad date.

so what i was saying is you dont actually have to take her on a date in 3 days but you should start on that road by then, and she should know. it should never come out of no where when you want to date a girl. she should know a week in advance that this guy is into her and is probably gonna ask her out.
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Old 03-04-2009, 02:44 PM   #9
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good point bonethug

hey OP do u know if shes taken??

would it be great idea.. if u ask her if shes single Straight up.

let her know ur intent.
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Old 03-04-2009, 03:29 PM   #10
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"We really need to continue this conversation sometime, what means can we take to make sure of that?"

This gives her the opening to give you her number (or even exchange numbers--if she's interested enough). And once she does, it's just a toss up as to who asks who out.

AHAHHHAHAHAHAH
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Old 03-04-2009, 06:57 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 6chr0nic4 View Post
"We really need to continue this conversation sometime, what means can we take to make sure of that?"

This gives her the opening to give you her number (or even exchange numbers--if she's interested enough). And once she does, it's just a toss up as to who asks who out.

AHAHHHAHAHAHAH
I agree I like that line We really need to continue this conversation sometime, what means can we take to make sure of that?"

but the end sounds kinda fancy.

So far, we just chat in person, that day I drove her home, I was too chicken to ask for her number or msn. I don't see her until another week or so. By then I'll see her for 1 whole week, should I make my move then ?, in the beginning or near the end of the week ?, I think she knows that I'm interested in her cause I offered her a ride eventhough she knows it's completely outta my way home. Thing is i'm not sure, I gotta make it more evident right ?. She's single for sure, got a co-worker to confirm that for me already.

Thanks guys, I like the feedbacks so far
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Old 03-04-2009, 07:19 PM   #12
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if you are going to HAVE to keep seeing her I wouldnt do it. you already kind of have a forced friendship where you have to be friends with each other which can lead to some unintentional lead ons, but if you get rejected you're fucked. even if you dont then you still have to see her alot and its annoying.

everyone else will tell you to go for it though.
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Old 03-04-2009, 07:48 PM   #13
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if you are going to HAVE to keep seeing her I wouldnt do it. you already kind of have a forced friendship where you have to be friends with each other which can lead to some unintentional lead ons, but if you get rejected you're fucked. even if you dont then you still have to see her alot and its annoying.

everyone else will tell you to go for it though.
I see her at school on occasional days, cause we work at different schools, only pro-d days and march break i'll see her, cause that's when our schools combined today. Which is ok right ?, cause I don't see her everyday, maybe 3-4 times a month and 1 week max on holidays.

But I think I'm falling for her, she meets every aspect of my expecatiations and criterias for a girl :P
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Old 03-04-2009, 08:16 PM   #14
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dont 'fall for her' for at least a few months. you dont really know her. if you can help it dont fall at all. the second you fall its pretty much over.
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Old 03-04-2009, 08:20 PM   #15
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haha damn it just go for it. be prepared for it to fall through though, because it usually will. just something really casual like 'hey u wanna get some coffee later', or if it's kinda late, even 'hey u wanna grab sth to eat?' at least this way you'd get to know her a little more and make sure she is what you want. if you're really hitting it off for certain, then ask her to randomly chill outside of work at some point. done and done. just be prepared for it not to work out. if she says no thanks and makes no attempt to reschedule, then let it go haha.
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Old 03-04-2009, 10:32 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 6chr0nic4 View Post
"We really need to continue this conversation sometime, what means can we take to make sure of that?"

This gives her the opening to give you her number (or even exchange numbers--if she's interested enough). And once she does, it's just a toss up as to who asks who out.

AHAHHHAHAHAHAH
What's so funny? It's corny, but it's also worked several times for me so far

Quote:
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I agree I like that line We really need to continue this conversation sometime, what means can we take to make sure of that?"

but the end sounds kinda fancy.

So far, we just chat in person, that day I drove her home, I was too chicken to ask for her number or msn. I don't see her until another week or so. By then I'll see her for 1 whole week, should I make my move then ?, in the beginning or near the end of the week ?, I think she knows that I'm interested in her cause I offered her a ride eventhough she knows it's completely outta my way home. Thing is i'm not sure, I gotta make it more evident right ?. She's single for sure, got a co-worker to confirm that for me already.

Thanks guys, I like the feedbacks so far
Well, glad you liked it, and I know it's hella corny; but you don't necessarily have to put it that way.
Just say to her that you enjoy her company, and you'd love it if you could continue the conversation again--in a more relaxed surrounding; or something of the sort.

Again, this is just something I have "in the works" in terms of my personal game, so non-conclusive and only something to consider.


If it were up to me, since you'd be seeing her for "1 whole week", this is definitely your time to demonstrate higher value and make her (more) interested in you.
I would start up light, a couple of light compliments, and just light talk to fluff everything out, to get the two of you to be used to each other's company (because the last thing you'd want to do is to eventually take her out and then realize you're completely uncomfortable having a conversation in a social surrounding etc.)
For instance, earlier in the week week- (another corny line I just picked up today) "I know it's only Monday, and people usually look forward to Fridays blah blah blah, but you know, I just think the way you carry yourself is pretty amazing. It'd be nice if you can keep up that smile all week, it'll cheer me up too!"
Carry on then by making small talk and continue "fluffing", and pretend that it was just a compliment you'd give to a co-worker or a friend.

And by mid or late in the week, you'd be ready to ask exchange numbers or ask her what plans she has for the weekend.
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Old 03-04-2009, 10:36 PM   #17
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haha damn it just go for it. be prepared for it to fall through though, because it usually will. just something really casual like 'hey u wanna get some coffee later', or if it's kinda late, even 'hey u wanna grab sth to eat?' at least this way you'd get to know her a little more and make sure she is what you want. if you're really hitting it off for certain, then ask her to randomly chill outside of work at some point. done and done. just be prepared for it not to work out. if she says no thanks and makes no attempt to reschedule, then let it go haha.
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:20 AM   #18
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What's so funny? It's corny, but it's also worked several times for me so far


Well, glad you liked it, and I know it's hella corny; but you don't necessarily have to put it that way.
Just say to her that you enjoy her company, and you'd love it if you could continue the conversation again--in a more relaxed surrounding; or something of the sort.

Again, this is just something I have "in the works" in terms of my personal game, so non-conclusive and only something to consider.


If it were up to me, since you'd be seeing her for "1 whole week", this is definitely your time to demonstrate higher value and make her (more) interested in you.
I would start up light, a couple of light compliments, and just light talk to fluff everything out, to get the two of you to be used to each other's company (because the last thing you'd want to do is to eventually take her out and then realize you're completely uncomfortable having a conversation in a social surrounding etc.)
For instance, earlier in the week week- (another corny line I just picked up today) "I know it's only Monday, and people usually look forward to Fridays blah blah blah, but you know, I just think the way you carry yourself is pretty amazing. It'd be nice if you can keep up that smile all week, it'll cheer me up too!"
Carry on then by making small talk and continue "fluffing", and pretend that it was just a compliment you'd give to a co-worker or a friend.

And by mid or late in the week, you'd be ready to ask exchange numbers or ask her what plans she has for the weekend.
i like the sound of it, I kinda got the idea of what I gotta do, just a bit nervous about facing her and asking her out, cause I really don't know how she'll respond, I guess I'll see how things go throughout the week then re-evaluate. But I have decided to take the bus to work that week. That way I might have more time to talk to her on the bus or walking etc...

Really anxious about it :/
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:54 AM   #19
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I think she knows that I'm interested in her cause I offered her a ride even though she knows it's completely outta my way home. Thing is i'm not sure, I gotta make it more evident right ?

there is no saving you
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:11 AM   #20
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there is no saving you
don't quite get it, what do u mean ?
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Old 03-05-2009, 02:22 AM   #21
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there is no saving you
hahaha,
don't bash him man,
not everybody is good at this type of thing.

OP: Good luck.
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:10 PM   #22
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hahaha okay so I never grew up.
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:41 PM   #23
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i meant it aas a compliment. beast wars kicked ass
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:22 PM   #24
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Canucks game, ideal first date ?, so if I just ask her casually like, "hey I have an extra ticket to the Canucks game tonight, would you like to go with me ", if she says yes then it's considered as a date ?
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Old 03-06-2009, 02:45 PM   #25
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if you eat and do stuff before and after. id check to make sure she's a sports fan and even more if she's a canucks fan. make sure you talk a shit ton during the game though. first date has to be something you do a lot of talking through. not an exciting, cool, and memorable event, that though good, you do no talking through. that would be a failure.
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