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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 03-04-2009, 03:28 PM   #26
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well is it more important for asian guys?

thats why in china parents r hoping for a son

to keep the legacy going.

things have changed i suppose

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Old 03-04-2009, 03:33 PM   #27
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Don't think it's an asian thing... however the tables are turning and it's starting with women who think their name is also a legacy.
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Old 03-04-2009, 03:55 PM   #28
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its not an asian thing. dont be so ethnocentral
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Old 03-04-2009, 07:39 PM   #29
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well is it more important for asian guys?

thats why in china parents r hoping for a son

to keep the legacy going.

things have changed i suppose
asian guys never care

chinese girls DO NOT use their husband's last name.

well, we call them Mrs.(husband's last name), but not Mary (husband's last name)
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Old 03-04-2009, 07:55 PM   #30
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ok, so this topic got me curious. i called up a lawyer friend of mine, he got back to me 1/2 later.

There is no law stating that you have to take the grooms surname.

there is no law stating that the children of the couple have to go under the fathers surname.

its all "tradition" when it comes to surnames.

at least this is what he told me in the 1/2hr research he did.
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Old 03-04-2009, 08:10 PM   #31
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I don't think that's true... but can't confirm. Doesn't sound right. Rape babies and the mother HAS to give this child that bastards last name? Or how about if the father just books it? You have to give the kid that assholes last name? If this is right, it shouldn't be law, it's a damn name! Names should be choosen not forced.
When the Birth Certificate is signed, the mother can place a "Father Unknown" comment instead of naming the real father. A good friend of my girlfriend gave birth to a rape child and, instead of using the guy's name, she simply used the unknown father comment.

As for changing a child's last name in the wake of a divorce, both the birth mother and father must give consent, unless they're over a certain age (12 or 14, something like that) when the child must give their own consent as well.
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Old 03-04-2009, 10:31 PM   #32
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I like my last name. It's my identity and that's what everybody knows me as. I think hyphenated names are dumb...at most I will have my last name as my middle name and then take the guy's name as my official last name...
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Old 03-05-2009, 07:32 AM   #33
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I know a few women that have kept their name's after marriage. Its getting more common now
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Old 03-05-2009, 11:42 AM   #34
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Personally, I don't care. I don't like hyphenated names; they look too clunky. Wife's name sounds better with her existing last name. Also, I don't want her to go through all the troubles of having to change all her ID/bank stuff. Besides, I'm a Wong, but I often make reservations at Chinese places under her last name to avoid confusion with other Wongs!

Kids have to take my last name though.
yea, don't care either
but kids gotta have my last name
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Old 03-05-2009, 10:26 PM   #35
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I thought taking on the man's last name was just a European/Western thing..

I believe that in Asia ie) China/HK women don't change their last names, they may just add their husband's last name infront of their own full Chinese name or leave it as is. When I was talking to my SO about this, he says he wouldn't care if I changed my name or not, as traditionally last names are linked by blood, as long as the kids have the same last name he does, mine doesn't matter :P

Personally I think some people find it weird if their last name is different from their children's last name, hence women change them. But the process to go through to change all the legal documents (passport, carecard, SIN etc) is a pretty big hassle.
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Old 03-05-2009, 11:20 PM   #36
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asian guys never care

chinese girls DO NOT use their husband's last name.

well, we call them Mrs.(husband's last name), but not Mary (husband's last name)
ding ding.

i would follow this rule ..and call me old fashion but the kid's gonna bear my name no questions asked.
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:38 AM   #37
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my sister legally did not change her name to the hubs last name. it had a mix of things on why she didnt.

-paperwork to change her whole identity (license, credit cards, anything that requires a legal name)
-she likes her last name and the b-law doesn't mind her not changing it

their daughter's last name is the dad's last name

everyone is different when it comes to things like these nowadays because the option is there. personally for me, when i get married i want to take on the husband's last name.
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Old 03-06-2009, 11:14 AM   #38
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If you're chinese find the SO with your same last name, my cousin did that. everything worked out perfectly. Mrs.Cheung and Mr.Cheung.

I would perfer my wife to have my last name, but i wouldn't require it, think of it as whenever we're out i just want her to be always referred as Mrs.Chan and i'm happy with that.
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Old 03-06-2009, 11:30 AM   #39
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Cant you have both ?
Like she keeps her name an then yours at the end ?
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Old 03-06-2009, 11:38 AM   #40
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my dad is a bastard...... wait thats actually me...i hate my last name.... ggrrrrrr
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Old 03-06-2009, 12:52 PM   #41
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fuck it, start something new
combine last names together to start a brand new last name

like last name peters and rennis = penis
it'll be awesome
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:06 PM   #42
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i personally don't like my last name so i'd have no problem changing it after marriage.
maybe not even take the wife's but make up a new one.
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:14 PM   #43
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If you're chinese find the SO with your same last name, my cousin did that. everything worked out perfectly. Mrs.Cheung and Mr.Cheung.

I would perfer my wife to have my last name, but i wouldn't require it, think of it as whenever we're out i just want her to be always referred as Mrs.Chan and i'm happy with that.
yeah thats smart haha

but yeah thats a good point

usually when u get married the women is marrying into the family

when the wife takes ur last name its a sign that the women is mine.

makes the man feel good

i'm not being arrogant or anything but u know men is always known to be "alpha, and the leader of groups" even tho times are different now
its hard wired into our genes.. that men is to provide and the women to have his husbands last name
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Old 03-06-2009, 11:52 PM   #44
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Info on "legalities" of naming/registering children in BC below...

I think it's wrong to expect people to change their name just because they are married or in a committed relationship with someone else. If you want to and choose one partner's name over the other, then that's your choice but expecting it, in this day and age is a littler ridiculous. Women are working hard to achieve goals and attain levels of success and independence in a variety of areas in their lives. They are well-known for who they are and what they become and then all of the sudden it changes because they signed a document??? I would only change my last name if it were a name that I really liked. But then again... I'm not really the type to marry either so I guess my case is different than others posting here...

Here's something I am curious about... For those who are divorced, or have had children with a previous partner - if you have a new partner and more children, would you expect the children of the new relationship to have your last name (and that of your former spouse/partner) instead of your current partner's last name???? I personally wouldn't want my child to have my partner and his ex's last name... Your thoughts???



http://www.vs.gov.bc.ca/births/breg.html

How to Register a Birth
In British Columbia, the birth of every newborn in the province must be registered with the Vital Statistics Agency.

Either parent is responsible for registering the birth of the child. Another individual standing in place of the parents may register the birth, if the parents are incapable.

To register a child's birth, complete and return the Registration of Live Birth form to the Vital Statistics Agency within 30 days of the date of birth. This form is contained in the birth package given to parents during their stay in the hospital. It is also available at any Vital Statistics Office.

If only one parent is being named on the registration, different rules apply. A mother applying on her own must complete the form and check the statement section indicating the father is not being registered. If the father is incapable, the mother must provide proof of the father's incapacity in the form of a Statutory Declaration. Supporting documentation may be required. In instances where the father does not sign the registration form, there will be no information about the father on the birth registration or birth certificate. Fathers or third parties applying to register a birth should contact a service representative at 250 952-2681 for further information.

A co-parent may be included on the registration, if the father is unknown by the mother, if the father is unacknowledged by the mother, or if the father has refused to acknowledge the child. A co-parent is defined as a person, who is in a spousal relationship with the mother of the child, is not the father of the child and the mother and co-parent have agreed to be the parents of the child. A spouse is defined as married to another person or living with another person in a marriage like relationship. The addition of a father / co-parent, to the birth record, is a permanent part of the record. The father / co-parent can only be changed under the Vital Statistics Act or in some instances by court order.


When registering the child's name, be sure to follow the guidelines given here. If only one parent completes the registration, the surname must be the one chosen by the parent. If both parents register, the child's surname may be any surname chosen by the parents. If the parents do not agree on the name, the Agency will register the child's birth using both parents surnames.

If the parents do not have the capacity another individual may register the birth for them. This individual should call the Agency for instructions on how to register the birth.

Last edited by Hondamama; 03-06-2009 at 11:57 PM. Reason: too long
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Old 03-07-2009, 10:43 AM   #45
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so are you saying if my name is James Vaugh, I can name my infant kid James Bond as I wish?
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Old 03-07-2009, 04:46 PM   #46
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so are you saying if my name is James Vaugh, I can name my infant kid James Bond as I wish?
Yes... But you should also change your first name to Vince ;-D
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Old 03-07-2009, 05:34 PM   #47
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Yes... But you should also change your first name to Vince ;-D
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Old 03-08-2009, 12:17 AM   #48
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Yes... But you should also change your first name to Vince ;-D
done, I am now Vince Vaugh, father of James Bond
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Old 03-08-2009, 12:19 AM   #49
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is it a easy thing to change last name? can any chinese guy with last name "Chen" easily become "Brown, Smith, Jackson, or Johnson..etc"
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Old 03-08-2009, 12:48 AM   #50
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^ Your user name in particular intrigues me. A fellow sashimi hmm =O
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