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Old 03-05-2009, 05:46 AM   #1
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Help proof read orange7's assignment paper

mod please delete.. orange7 has found his dog..
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Last edited by orange7; 03-05-2009 at 12:02 PM.
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Old 03-05-2009, 10:53 AM   #2
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no thanks. =-)
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Old 03-05-2009, 11:01 AM   #3
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tl;dr
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Old 03-05-2009, 11:06 AM   #4
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Seriously though - I'm assuming your first paragraph is the intro? If so, it doesn't tell me what your argument is.
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Old 03-05-2009, 11:53 AM   #5
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What grade are you in? I'm sorry to say this, but it was very hard to read.

This is probably too late, but here goes...

Quote:
Originally Posted by orange7 View Post
Jackson and Sleigh argue that “many people directly affected by the TGD will become worse off… and some may never recover socially or economically” (225) because the compensation to those who voluntary resettle is inadequate.
Voluntarily, not voluntary.

Quote:
However, if the government make better compensation, then crop growers should move into the urban area and give their children the opportunity to enrol in school.
I think "made" would be the proper tense.

And don't finish your paragraph with "aren't", a contraction. It sounds very informal.
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Old 03-05-2009, 11:54 AM   #6
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good point
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:01 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gumby View Post
What grade are you in? I'm sorry to say this, but it was very hard to read.

This is probably too late, but here goes...



Voluntarily, not voluntary.


I think "made" would be the proper tense.

And don't finish your paragraph with "aren't", a contraction. It sounds very informal.

ya.. thanks.. i see those mistakes now..

wow.. i can't believe i made those errors..
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:56 PM   #8
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I agree with Gumby - hard to read. First sentence is unwieldy, there was a part that looked like you were citing something but you didn't have a source... Since you took it down, I can't critique it anymore.
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Old 03-05-2009, 11:36 PM   #9
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haha.. ya.. there was a citation... but i didn't provide the source on rs cuz i didn't think it would be neccessary..

anyways.. thanks all..
i've handed in my hwk paper already...

too late to do anything about it.
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