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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 04-19-2009, 06:50 AM   #1
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Rejected by the phrase “I have to study”

I’ve meet up with a few friends at the pub on a Saturday night. Reminiscing and storytelling over a few pints of beer, there was this one story I simply couldn’t let go. Ridiculous as it sounds, a friend of mine was macking on girls in a mall that afternoon. Unfortunately and expected his doing, he was rejected with the line “I have to study.” With much respect of her space, he stepped back and said no more; accepting the rejection. I personally wasn’t there to see how it unfolds; I’m just ranting about possible outcome if adjustment were made to his pursuit.

Considering the line "I have to study" is ever so WEAKKKkk. I defended that she is a random girl minding her own business with the pressure of upcoming exams in her mind. One suddenly approached and stops her in her path with a curve ball going after a contact. Maybe she is just lost for words and said what is true and on her mine. "I have to study."

On the other hand the cliché of the ever so typical society we live in today, men are expected to make the first move. Although that may not always be true, I argued that the "man" should have the courage to approach and keep his eyes on the prize; which in this case a contact. Regard of the word barriers, he should have proceed and give his best. Drawing a fine line from arrogance, insolence, and stupidity “Get your game on!" Therefore in my perspective he should have said a little more for example "perhaps we could grab a drink after your exams?" or something ~anything? Rather than simply giving up due to four nonsensical words, “I have to study.”

1. So the open question is if “I have to study” twisted and flushed do however translates into “I am not interested” who is more at insignificant in this situation. The guy for being a pansy for not pursuing or the girl for not closing the right words (…seriously wtf~ there are hundreds of synonyms for the simple rejection “no” like what do you go school for?)

2. Considering the line "I have to study" is ever so WEAKKKkk. I question what if she was using that line as a filter? Could she be playing hard to get and was expecting more of a chase? Like what do you take me for if I were to give it up that easily?


Last edited by Exc3L; 04-20-2009 at 05:28 AM. Reason: 1 word: "insignificant"
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Old 04-19-2009, 07:46 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Exc3L View Post
a few friends of mine were macking on girls in a mall that afternoon
is this a typo i'm more concern with this than whether your frd should continue pursueing.

a few friends macking on the same chick who is trying to study seems like pure harassment.
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Old 04-19-2009, 09:44 AM   #3
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another "oh, I need a new account to ask a stupid question on RS" thread???

why do you put yourself in her shoes, picture a fucking random guy in a mall that is not
attractive, or maybe other things, trying to mack you. WHAT ELSE CAN A GIRL SAY
WITHOUT BEING A TOTAL BITCH? A mall is just NOT a right place to pick up girls. Can't you
all horn dogs fucking learn? It's as annoying as those guys asking for a quarter at a bus stop.
Seriously, talking to a girl like that doesn't show you have balls...that just tell us you are
immature and do inappropiate things at a wrong place.
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Old 04-19-2009, 10:07 AM   #4
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LOL

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Old 04-19-2009, 11:07 AM   #5
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another "oh, I need a new account to ask a stupid question on RS" thread???

why do you put yourself in her shoes, picture a fucking random guy in a mall that is not
attractive, or maybe other things, trying to mack you. WHAT ELSE CAN A GIRL SAY
WITHOUT BEING A TOTAL BITCH? A mall is just NOT a right place to pick up girls. Can't you
all horn dogs fucking learn? It's as annoying as those guys asking for a quarter at a bus stop.
Seriously, talking to a girl like that doesn't show you have balls...that just tell us you are
immature and do inappropiate things at a wrong place.
What? who said you can't pick up girls at the mall?!
AHAH I shall let physixs do some explaining =P
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Old 04-19-2009, 12:47 PM   #6
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joined August 06, and this is the first post? wtf?
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Old 04-19-2009, 04:28 PM   #7
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joe?
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Old 04-19-2009, 04:41 PM   #8
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another "oh, I need a new account to ask a stupid question on RS" thread???
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joined August 06, and this is the first post? wtf?
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joe?
joe ~ hahaha NO ?!?! this is my one and only account. i just have no intentions to post.

Last edited by Exc3L; 04-23-2009 at 03:01 AM. Reason: little more discription
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Old 04-19-2009, 05:30 PM   #9
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Gonna wrap that up and say she isn't interested. Thats just a nice way to say leave me alone.

If someone says, "Wanna go out sometime" and a girl's response is anything but "when?"...then she is letting you go and saying go away....think about it..she isn't studying for life. People don't study on weekend evenings (usually anyways), and if she was interested then she would say, well i have to study now but maybe later and then you get a #.
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Old 04-19-2009, 05:40 PM   #10
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(shoulder shrug) it IS exam season. girls do have to study.
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Old 04-19-2009, 06:13 PM   #11
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u shouldve told her that you lowered your standard by talking to her.
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Old 04-19-2009, 06:15 PM   #12
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i didnt know ppl study at the malls nowadays, wouldnt it be distracting
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Old 04-19-2009, 07:02 PM   #13
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u shouldve told her that you lowered your standard by talking to her.
Bitter much?
Yes... look more like a bitter creep to a random stranger.
She was just trying to be nice while letting the guy down.
Would a "WTF, no" been better?
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Old 04-19-2009, 07:30 PM   #14
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i didnt know ppl study at the malls nowadays, wouldnt it be distracting
I study wherever I go. I also see a lot of other people who shop and study at the same time. When it comes to study time, there is no time to waste..LOL
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Old 04-19-2009, 07:32 PM   #15
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What? who said you can't pick up girls at the mall?!
AHAH I shall let physixs do some explaining =P
read his thread earlier. It's just too much work for a guy to do, which I think
is stupid. Maybe I am just a lucky guy, never met a girl I like who says "I am
sorry, I am not interested."
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Old 04-19-2009, 07:36 PM   #16
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where is physixx?

and hell whatever happen to that vmec chick? did she get canned?
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Old 04-19-2009, 07:39 PM   #17
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I study wherever I go. I also see a lot of other people who shop and study at the same time. When it comes to study time, there is no time to waste..LOL
take it easy there buddy... no need to be hardcore now!..
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Old 04-19-2009, 08:52 PM   #18
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haha, weak line to get rid of your friend
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Old 04-19-2009, 09:07 PM   #19
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i smell overthinking/overanalyzing here.

it doesn't matter if this is coming from a guy or girl, if someone is even a little bit interested in the person infront of them...he/she will make the effort to make it known they are interested. she wasnt playing hard to get because if she was she wouldn't have been so straight up and told your friend she has to study. she would have said things to make the conversation last longer.

if anything, i think your friend saved his breath to work on a girl that had no interest in continuing a conversation with him.
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Old 04-20-2009, 05:19 AM   #20
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Over thinking and analyzing

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Originally Posted by miss_crayon View Post
i smell overthinking/overanalyzing here.

it doesn't matter if this is coming from a guy or girl, if someone is even a little bit interested in the person infront of them...he/she will make the effort to make it known they are interested. she wasnt playing hard to get because if she was she wouldn't have been so straight up and told your friend she has to study. she would have said things to make the conversation last longer.

if anything, i think your friend saved his breath to work on a girl that had no interest in continuing a conversation with him.


Over thinking and analyzing is exactally what I’m doing

I totally agree, regardless which either gender that started the conversation if the other person is slightly interested he/she will show it. Where I am confused is that “I have to study” is very open ended don’t you think? Unless she has a “disapproving” facial expression, then it is well concluded as she is not interested. The idea of maybe she is simply shy and lost for words, should he not try a little harder for a more conclusive answer?

If anything, I don’t think my friend saved his breath taking into account that he built the courage to approach and walked out with what I’m considering as a “maybe.” That is favoring a no. This creates the impression of him wasting both their time; stepping in and walking out confused. I would rather be shot down with a "wtf, sorry, no, not interested" than … .. . ... but that's just me, because i'm oblivious !?
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Old 04-20-2009, 08:16 AM   #21
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I've never picked up a girl at the mall
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Old 04-20-2009, 09:10 AM   #22
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What? who said you can't pick up girls at the mall?!
AHAH I shall let physixs do some explaining =P
what the hell lol.
I was doing my pre-420 marathon, so I didn't have time last night haha.

I'll do what I can:

The way I break it down is, if somebody approaches me or vice versa, there will be one of two types of typical responses: responses of friendliness and responses of hostility.

Now clearly, your friend didn't receive a friendly response.
Spoiler!


This means he got a hostile response, and there are a couple types of hostile responses as well.

Things called "shit tests"; things called being a bitch; and just plain "fuck off".
"Fuck off" is pretty much self-explanatory. Fuck off means fuck off.
This business of being a bitch is like an anti-mack deterrent. She figures if she could come across like a bitch right away, then she'll deflate your confidence on the spot OR make you think she isn't worth your time; and ultimately just leave her alone. She'll say things like, "Don't you have somewhere you must go?", or "Yeah, I'm actually waiting for my (boy)friend(s)." Anything to discourage you from hanging around any longer.
"Shit tests" are things girls say to see if you're worth her time. Things like "How old are you?" (Note: this doesn't always mean she's interested, she might be trying to disqualify you for being too young/too old for her.) or "Are you trying to pick me up/ask me out on a date?" Things of that nature.

Judging by the OP, the remark sounds like either a bitch-shield or a shit-test.
A bitch-shield maybe because what she's really saying is: "can you go somewhere else? because you're making me feel uncomfortable". Because who the hell studies at a mall anyways?
It's also likely a shit-test, just to see what your friend will respond. Maybe she isn't really actively LOOKING for that response (that is, subconscious reply), but as long as the delivery of the punchline he returns is in good form, then he WILL get her attention.

Your friend failed to get her attention; which was his shortcoming.
And don't get me wrong--it doesn't have to be positive attention. Negative attention may be hard to work with because you actually have to turn the car around and go in the right way, but at least you've got attention already. It's better than having somebody say "I'm sitting at a mall and I need to study kthxbye".

I don't really feel like going into any techniques or anything right now like I usually do, but that's about as much as I could make of the situation while I feel like I'm falling out of my chair lol



(I don't know if that makes sense)
-Physixx

Last edited by Culture_Vulture; 04-20-2009 at 05:02 PM. Reason: because I type like a monkey on crack
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Old 04-20-2009, 10:29 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by asian_XL View Post
why do you put yourself in her shoes, picture a fucking random guy in a mall that is not
attractive, or maybe other things, trying to mack you. WHAT ELSE CAN A GIRL SAY
WITHOUT BEING A TOTAL BITCH? A mall is just NOT a right place to pick up girls. Can't you
all horn dogs fucking learn? It's as annoying as those guys asking for a quarter at a bus stop.
Seriously, talking to a girl like that doesn't show you have balls...that just tell us you are
immature and do inappropiate things at a wrong place.
Hahaha. This one pretty much summed up the whole situation.

Nonetheless, when it comes to initiating contact with girls, a lot of guys have the misonception that it's all about the game and how you play it that determines winning over losing. It's actually only partially true at best.

The way one can improve ones stats is by learning how to read other people and learning how to read situations. Once you can deciper which girls are approachable and which situations are welcoming, THEN and only THEN does "the game" start. Otherwise, most girls don't appreciate guys just barging in on them and a lot of guys have the misconception that girls like it because this is what happens on TV a lot and it works almost 100% in telly-land.

Or, you can just do what other people do and fishnet with hopes that one is bound to catch something. But there's no pride in that.
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Old 04-20-2009, 10:36 AM   #24
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read his thread earlier. It's just too much work for a guy to do, which I think
is stupid. Maybe I am just a lucky guy, never met a girl I like who says "I am
sorry, I am not interested."
oops I missed this post.
you're right, it sounds like a lot of work.

But mind you, I now do this for self-improvement, and not for female interactions entirely. Yeah a good chunk of it has to do with women, but that's just me doing what God created me to do: to survive and to reproduce.
Sure, I admit there was a time when I pitied myself for how much work I'm doing just to meet women, but now that I look upon it, it has made me more satisfied with myself. So not all is lost lol.

Luck may be a factor, (and I don't know you personally to judge) but maybe you're just a natural with women. Maybe you're just one of those guys who grew up developing a good charisma. A lot of guys are like that without even knowing it themselves, and ironically those are the guys I tried to model myself to be like.

-Physixx
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Old 04-20-2009, 12:10 PM   #25
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I’ve meet up with a few friends at the pub on a Saturday night. Reminiscing and storytelling over a few pints of beer, there was this one story I simply couldn’t let go. Ridiculous as it sounds, a friend of mine was macking on girls in a mall that afternoon. Unfortunately and expected his doing, he was rejected with the line “I have to study.” With much respect of her space, he stepped back and said no more; accepting the rejection. I personally wasn’t there to see how it unfolds; I’m just ranting about possible outcome if adjustment were made to his pursuit.

Considering the line "I have to study" is ever so WEAKKKkk. I defended that she is a random girl minding her own business with the pressure of upcoming exams in her mind. One suddenly approached and stops her in her path with a curve ball going after a contact. Maybe she is just lost for words and said what is true and on her mine. "I have to study."

On the other hand the cliché of the ever so typical society we live in today, men are expected to make the first move. Although that may not always be true, I argued that the "man" should have the courage to approach and keep his eyes on the prize; which in this case a contact. Regard of the word barriers, he should have proceed and give his best. Drawing a fine line from arrogance, insolence, and stupidity “Get your game on!" Therefore in my perspective he should have said a little more for example "perhaps we could grab a drink after your exams?" or something ~anything? Rather than simply giving up due to four nonsensical words, “I have to study.”

1. So the open question is if “I have to study” twisted and flushed do however translates into “I am not interested” who is more at insignificant in this situation. The guy for being a pansy for not pursuing or the girl for not closing the right words (…seriously wtf~ there are hundreds of synonyms for the simple rejection “no” like what do you go school for?)

2. Considering the line "I have to study" is ever so WEAKKKkk. I question what if she was using that line as a filter? Could she be playing hard to get and was expecting more of a chase? Like what do you take me for if I were to give it up that easily?
u have got to be kidding me......
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