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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 05-09-2009, 08:33 AM   #1
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Confronting the Ex

hey guys, need some advice.

My ex and i went out for 1.5 years, and it was a happy relationship, no major problems. You can say we were perfect for each other, and we were the best things that happened to each other. I meant the world to her, she meant the world to me. Basically, we split up around 2-3 months ago because she lost some feelings. Asked to get back together but she'd say she is confused about her feelings and unsure of what she wants. There is no other guy. ( i think? )

I kept chasing her back but she'd give me the cold shoulder. She tells her friends that she has no more feelings left but i don't buy any of that bullcrap. I don't think its possible to ever lose all feelings for a person that was so important in your life. So now we have not talked for about a month. Yet everyday i'm depressed over her, and i miss her. My buddies tell me to get over it already and just move on, but i find it easier said than done.

I've been wanting to open my heart to her, and just give it one last shot. Should i ask her to come out for a talk? Or should i just give up?


Last edited by Drow; 05-09-2009 at 08:40 AM.
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Old 05-09-2009, 08:50 AM   #2
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Girls don't "lose feelings" they find someone they like better.

Now it's your turn to move on, and find someone better yourself.
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Old 05-09-2009, 09:31 AM   #3
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if she did i would've known or she would've told me. things spread fast
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Old 05-09-2009, 09:42 AM   #4
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So you think she is forcing herself not to like you for some reason? You don't "buy" that she doesn't want to get back with you after breaking up with you?

Time to move on man. Live in reality.
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Old 05-09-2009, 09:48 AM   #5
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to me, if i could feel that there was no chance whatsoever i wouldn't be hanging around. Yes, i know i have to face reality, but is it worth it to give it one last try so at least i can face it with no regrets?
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Old 05-09-2009, 10:25 AM   #6
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Sounds like she has already moved on. If you continue to pursue, it will only get worse. You actually sound kinda creepy already (especially when you said that you didn't "BUY" that she doesn't want to be with you any more)
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Old 05-09-2009, 10:39 AM   #7
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i didnt " buy " the fact that theres 0 feelings left. Not at the fact she doesnt wanna get back with me
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Old 05-09-2009, 11:33 AM   #8
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It seems like u really want to give it another shot so why not? Atleast if you tried and get rejected you'll atleast feel like youve "tried" and won't have any regrets in the future. Stop wasting your time debating and just call her up face to face and talk about it. Goodluck!
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Old 05-09-2009, 11:36 AM   #9
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Move on man, sounds like she just doesnt want it anymore
You cant make her feel for you again
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Old 05-09-2009, 11:56 AM   #10
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I would say give it a try. Ask her to meet someone public like a coffee shop or something like that. Don't put all the pressure on. Just tell her that you still hold the same feelings for her and were wanting to know if there was something that you both could work on to start a new relationship. If she is not willing then you know you have to let it go.
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Old 05-09-2009, 12:40 PM   #11
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just move on, she already gotten over u already even if she have somewhat feelings for u it's not the same kind anymore, she either have already found someone to move on or she just lost the feelings(love) for u as a couple, to let u know once they make the decision of saying it's over and cannot get back im sorry but very very slim chance they will change the mind, that's how they work...but if u still don't believe my words u can try going for her again and confessing but the answer would be no plus it will leave a bad impression of urself to her...how i know this is because i have experienced plus that's how girls act/think most of them at least...
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Old 05-09-2009, 12:40 PM   #12
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Wow... you sound clingy. That's probably why she moved on.
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Old 05-09-2009, 01:04 PM   #13
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give the guy a break. He lost someone who he cares for deeply. a relationship that lasted 1.5 years has to have a deep level of committment and feelings.

but with that said, it is time to move on. There is no point in trying to get her back.
She has already moved on. Like the other people and said earlier, it is time for you to do the same.

A girlfriend never just losses feelings for the boyfriend. She most likely found another person. She might not be with that person, but she like the qualities he has to offer that you the old boyfriend does not have.

There might not physically be another person going out with your ex. But mentally, she has given up on you having that quality, and is looking for someone one who does.
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Old 05-09-2009, 01:07 PM   #14
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A girlfriend never just losses feelings for the boyfriend.
That's a lie. When I left my bf of 3 years, I left because I didn't feel the same way about him anymore. Not because I found some other guy.

And I should cut him a break because he's trying to force her to take him back? She said she doesn't want to try again, he needs to let go. There's only going to be more heartache if he keeps trying. Besides, I know exactly how annoying it is for the girl to have the ex trying to get back with her when she no longer has any interest whatsoever.
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Old 05-09-2009, 01:29 PM   #15
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^i agree with her, absolutely tru, once loses the feelings it cannot be regained and if persistent can lead to the girl actually hating u or make her not to rmb the good side of u
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Old 05-09-2009, 01:56 PM   #16
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sometimes i dont think getting back with her is exactly what i want. maybe i just haven't found someone else? i don't know. what brings out the better outcome? to call her up and ask to talk or to just completely pretend she doesn't exist till MAYBE that one day she decides to call me up instead.
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Old 05-09-2009, 02:11 PM   #17
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Wow... you sound clingy. That's probably why she moved on.
lol.... you can call me clingy if this was the first couple weeks after the breakup, but i've learned to not give 2 shits about her after that. after all, we haven't spoken for about a month now.
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Old 05-09-2009, 02:49 PM   #18
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That's a lie. When I left my bf of 3 years, I left because I didn't feel the same way about him anymore. Not because I found some other guy.

And I should cut him a break because he's trying to force her to take him back? She said she doesn't want to try again, he needs to let go. There's only going to be more heartache if he keeps trying. Besides, I know exactly how annoying it is for the girl to have the ex trying to get back with her when she no longer has any interest whatsoever.

how exactly is he forcing her?
He stated clearly that he was thinking of asking her to a coffe shop to plead his case?
If he decided to follow through on that plan, I doubt that he is going to kidnap her first.

Think of the reason you broke up with your ex. There must be a reason you dont have feelings for him.
Maybe his views no longer aligned with yours, maybe he is constantly doing something to tick you off, or maybe you want something he couldnt give.

A person doesnt just lose their feelings. Something must first impact the change. You must have had seen or felt the impact of a certain change to want the result.
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Old 05-09-2009, 03:58 PM   #19
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Why plead?

You be a MAN, not a pussy. Try chasing her back, not try pleading your case. If you really want to.

that said, Good luck.
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Old 05-09-2009, 04:02 PM   #20
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honestly man, just go talk to her, dont debate, dont wait any longer either. do it asap.
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Old 05-09-2009, 04:47 PM   #21
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yah, i think i will. Thing is, this will be the last " chance " for me. Either i get things my way, or i fully accept reality and just move on. What i'm concerned about is how to approach this situation in the best possible way.
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Old 05-09-2009, 06:51 PM   #22
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Give this guy some slack. He's not a robot

A lot of things can change over 1.5 yrs, not your fault. People grow apart.

I would talk to her one last time, with no expectations. But wait till you've already found another girl you're interested in (aka. you're already moving on). It will make it easier for you to sit down and talk to her and you will come across better.

Doesn't hurt to hit the gym, or change up your style a bit either (or something), make her remember what she's losing out on....if all else fails, tell her how fat she's gotten, throw your drink in her face and runaway!
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Old 05-09-2009, 07:47 PM   #23
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wow... 3months and your still hung up, u know to her it probably seems like a lifetime ago?

you sound like the type thats gonna bring a knife to her throat and ask to get together again and then think she really wants to


just move on... it sounds like you've already let her know how you feel already and she's told you "no" why would you doing it again change anything? she's probably going to get creeped out to be honest if you don't let it go

and she's probably seeing other people and is just concerned with letting you know about it because she doesn't know how you'll react
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Old 05-09-2009, 07:59 PM   #24
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stright up eh. You know what i strongly believe, its that guys/men have nothing to lose in the begining. They dont really give 2 shits about any girl, but when they commit to a relationship for a long period of time they get sucked in. They fall deeply in love and its hard to get over her and to just move on. You know this when the real break up comes girls move on so easily and faster then the guys ever will! But during the relationship girls get hurt more then the guys, but that changes because in the begining guys arent really that nice and shit but after they are, so in my thoughts the girl gets what she wants then dumps your ass. How many of you guys see your girl cry and shit in the begining of the relationship and really cares and all but later down the road when the real one comes they dont give a shit and the guys are the ones that are fucken hurt. I will tell u to go talk to her and keep trying but honeslty no one can tell u what to do its what u really want. U can say ya u dont want to be with her anymore but can you really? Ive been so attached that when its over i dont even know how to talk to girls anymore. It sucks but what can u do.
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Old 05-09-2009, 09:21 PM   #25
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Are you and her young? Like early twenties (20-22) because sometimes people around that age don't know what they want and don't know what they're looking for. She is probably telling the truth when she says she lost feelings for you. Sometimes shit just happens. It's hard, but you just have to move on. You'll meet someone else some day.
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