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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 05-14-2009, 08:12 PM   #1
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During the waiting period

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Old 05-14-2009, 08:50 PM   #2
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man, you've got no game

answer is no, you're in the friend zone, always were, always will be - lost cause, move on
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Old 05-14-2009, 08:57 PM   #3
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move one, if she wants time to think about it, its not a good sign.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:10 PM   #4
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the ball's actually in her court since you're the one waiting for the answer.. but dood man, 3 years......you waited too long..sheesh.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:19 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by 4444 View Post
man, you've got no game

answer is no, you're in the friend zone, always were, always will be - lost cause, move on
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Originally Posted by nabs View Post
move one, if she wants time to think about it, its not a good sign.
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the ball's actually in her court since you're the one waiting for the answer.. but dood man, 3 years......you waited too long..sheesh.
Guys, i realized i have no game, and i do know i have to move on.
This is one last attempt, i am prepared for the worse, but hey.... I started it, might as well end it my way.

I do not want to see anymore " no game, move on, stick into her bum"

please and thank you.

feedback on the questions please.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:21 PM   #6
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move one, if she wants time to think about it, its not a good sign.
not necessarily true. i've told guys i've wanted to think about it before. the first time, i told him within a week. the second guy, i told him like... the next day. both times i said YES.

i think 1 month is waaaaaaaaay too long to give her to think about it.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:42 PM   #7
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while ur waiting why not meet other girls

so if this one doesnt work out you have others to work on
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:57 PM   #8
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I do know many girls, but we dont "click"
you guys probably misread my questions, i meant what am I suppose to do between us during this waiting period.
Should I hang out with her as much as possible to show how much I care on the daily basis or should I still playing the mind game. Left her alone, perhaps she misses me at some point ?
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Old 05-14-2009, 10:41 PM   #9
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you're her friend, thats about it. if you try to "poke" her now, she will just run away all scared thinking her brother tried to hit on her.
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Old 05-14-2009, 10:42 PM   #10
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next time, minimize the flirting down to a couple of weeks, not years.
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Old 05-14-2009, 10:52 PM   #11
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LOL @ 1 month

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next time, minimize the flirting down to a couple of weeks, not years.
+1
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Old 05-14-2009, 11:50 PM   #12
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a month? wow talk about wasting your time.
if someone has to wait and think for that long (30-31 days) if they wanna be with you, then there's your answer right there. why would you want someone who has to think about being with you? they should know.

and really the ball is not in your court because you are leaving her to decide the fate between the two of you.
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Old 05-14-2009, 11:51 PM   #13
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I do know many girls, but we dont "click"
you guys probably misread my questions, i meant what am I suppose to do between us during this waiting period.
Should I hang out with her as much as possible to show how much I care on the daily basis or should I still playing the mind game. Left her alone, perhaps she misses me at some point ?
also, i thought that i would add this... desperate much?
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Old 05-14-2009, 11:59 PM   #14
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whatever happens, good luck OP! emotions are a bitch, they fuck with your rationality but everyone will go through it. if it doesn't work out you'll learn to lose that good guy mentatlity and starting to go towards your journey of becoming a bad guy and a guy who gets laid.
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Old 05-15-2009, 12:32 AM   #15
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I already have the worse answer in mind, and I told her... if you could be mine, great, thats like a dream come dream..blah blah blah.
if you reject me, no worry, there is other girls out there will see the good sides about me im sure.
in the wrost case scenario, if u do get rejected, i hope u remember what u said above in bold. becuase if if u get rejected, the period following is the worst and such a bitch, u either loose a friend and get depressed, or u guys will still be friends but might be akward about it. i hope u dont get too depressed over it and get over it fast. i've been there and done that with a twist. now looking back, i realize how stupid it was.

either way, good luck to u, hope everything works out ur way.
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Old 05-15-2009, 01:21 AM   #16
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******** sorry guys...i edited out the info

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Old 05-15-2009, 01:33 AM   #17
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I would say
deff act like a friend
dont act like a boyfriend because you dont wanna act like something your not as harsh as that sounds but if you start acting like a boyfriend that might weird her out
dont presure her for her answer and i dunno as much as you like her while you wait for her answer see other people go out meet some other girls.
and just remeber (what other people are not realising in here) is that YOU said YOU will wait 1 month for her answer that was your time line NOT hers
for all you know she will give it to you in a week so just remeber that was YOUR choice on giving her 1 month wait
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Old 05-15-2009, 02:33 AM   #18
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I do know many girls, but we dont "click"
you guys probably misread my questions, i meant what am I suppose to do between us during this waiting period.
Should I hang out with her as much as possible to show how much I care on the daily basis or should I still playing the mind game. Left her alone, perhaps she misses me at some point ?
there is no "us"

plz dont tell me shes the only one
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Old 05-15-2009, 02:50 AM   #19
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You're walking on a thin line OP,
and you seem to be falling towards the friend zone.

However, you were ballsy enough to place everything you have on the table, AND give her a month to decide--both of which MAY or MAY NOT be good things for you in the long run.
Why?

If she says 'yes', it's likely for one of two reasons:
-She genuinely wants you to be her boyfriend. However, given what information you've posted, I'm going to cross that one out. She considers you a friend--which DOESN'T mean you can't be in a long-termed relationship with her, but your chances are pretty slim (the friend and date ladder crap).
-She was pressured into saying 'yes'. A month is more than enough time to consider whether the goods outweigh the bads for her to get into a relationship with you (hell, a month is enough time for YOU to find another love interest). But the question is, is it too much time? When and if she's on the fence on the decision between yes and no, all it takes is a small breeze for her to make a rash decision, and letting her over-analyze everything might work to your disadvantage because she might find out later on that she didn't actually want to say 'yes'.

She might say 'no' for the exact same reasons, but by putting what you said the way you said it, you're risking losing her as a "good friend" as well.
When she's pressured into making a decision like that and in the end disappoints either of you, that's always a bad formula for a healthy friendship.

Just a thought,
but I hope everything turns out in the end.

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Old 05-15-2009, 03:11 AM   #20
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Since you seem like the type that demands straight yes or no answers, I'm just going to be very blunt:

From what you have explained, she is not attracted to you. Read that again.

By trying to force her to like you, you are straining your friendship and will likely lose everything. People do not work that way.

For your sake, and hers, move on. This 30 day thing is ridiculous. She's already made it clear she is not interested in you, stop demanding she spell it out for you. There are other girls in this world. You are not being reasonable by putting this much pressure on her, she is supposedly your friend.

Next time, don't use friendship as a guise to get close to a girl, if you are actually interested in something else. Because if you act like a friend, that is exactly where you will end up. I think a lot of members here make that mistake...
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Old 05-15-2009, 08:22 AM   #21
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******** sorry guys...i edited out the info

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Old 05-15-2009, 09:21 AM   #22
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After the night i ask her out, she sends me txt or msn try to start couples of conversations. Note* She is not a type of person willing to start anything with people. Even with her girlfriends.
It means alot in my own eyes, i felt great about it.

my girlfriends told me I should take her out once or twice every week during this period, do normal things, "act somewhere between a bf/caring person"
I am not sure if this is the right way of doing it, by acting a nice bf/caring person.. i felt im back in the loser circle again.

I also wanted to show how much i care for her as well... such a dilemma



--- in the begining, although i was prepared for the worse, but i had confidence that there is SLIM chance will work out
---after i posted this thread, i started to doubt myself the chance is not only a big fat ZERO, its a negative number. I got a feeling as if i should just leave everythning now and dont even bother talking to her. Not sure if its the right move.
---This love shit between me and her is mindfucking me for a long time, it is worse than spoting a black man in the fight club pics.. lol ..
First thing's first, like everyone suggested, forget this girl and move on.

BUT since you don't want to do that until 29 days from now, DO NOT HANG OUT WITH HER DURING THE WAITING PERIOD. At least she'll know what she's missing out on. Deprive her of the good times that she has with you, don't text her or respond to her texts, there's no point. Cat String theory that broad.

**My advice is based on CBC, White, Wester relationships, if you're in a Hongar (no offence) Dynamic, then I'm not sure if my shit will work.
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Old 05-15-2009, 11:14 AM   #23
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DO NOT HANG OUT WITH HER DURING THE WAITING PERIOD
most effective way to get her honest answer asap
if u keep spending time/talking/etc to her then shes not gonna see the difference between having u in her life and vice versa

if she ask why ur suddenly ignoring her and all that bs, just be straight up with her and say that u dont feel comfortable doing all that shit with her anymore without knowing where u stand
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Old 05-15-2009, 11:29 AM   #24
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most effective way to get her honest answer asap
if u keep spending time/talking/etc to her then shes not gonna see the difference between having u in her life and vice versa

if she ask why ur suddenly ignoring her and all that bs, just be straight up with her and say that u dont feel comfortable doing all that shit with her anymore without knowing where u stand
cool... something i will consider
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Old 05-15-2009, 12:36 PM   #25
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Just think of it like this: If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll get the same result, so try something different.
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