![]() |
Texts from last night |
LOL nice find! |
this is better http://mylifeisaverage.com/index.php - better than FML too |
Quote:
|
Good find! :D I loved this one: (443): So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka :lol |
hmm.. that my life is average thing is pretty charming, but nowhere near as funyn as the others |
"I wish Morgan Freeman can narrate my life" LOL |
LOL.. hahahaa nice nice... |
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome lol |
she poured me a glass of iced tea and then went to change her clothes. Then her dad walked in (to catch a predator- dateline) |
Im about to go to the store to buy wd40 and condoms... Both purchases are unrelated |
(410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd (443): wasted? (410): im pocohantasssss bah-hahaahahhaa |
(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time? (1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score (843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true o man this shit is too funny |
my life is average is alright lol Today, I spotted a giant green pipe. I jumped on it and knelt down. I did not enter an underground world. MLIA. |
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home |
(510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring... (443): So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka HAHAHAHA this site is pure gold |
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along. |
This site also proves that girls talk about sex just as much as guys do.. haha Hell most guys are just like "yah.. the sex was good/bad" girls go into freaking detail.. |
(586): love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t" (586): and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps." (586): I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me. |
(484): I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem (+44): Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food. (585): Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF? |
awesome site :D |
Gangstaaaa: (847): i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy |
(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. (512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. (570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds? (1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 (971): I have two black x marks on my hands. (503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here' (971): damnit I wish I could remember that. (703): Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.' |
cool |
haha (858): sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat? (818): No. He thinks you're slutty. |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:29 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Revscene.net cannot be held accountable for the actions of its members nor does the opinions of the members represent that of Revscene.net