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-   -   A brief and accurate description of World War II (https://www.revscene.net/forums/583554-brief-accurate-description-world-war-ii.html)

avinayyar 07-23-2009 03:30 AM

A brief and accurate description of World War II
 
http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...&defid=3821558


Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit.
Germany invades Poland.
(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
UK holds out.
Russia & the USA don't do shit.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range.
Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing.
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.

And this is how i see it all went down >

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...ormula/ww2.gif

slammer111 07-23-2009 04:15 AM

:lol Wow that's actually a pretty damn good summary. I dunno about the Hitler part though. I thought his aides pretty much got rid of his ashes.

I'd also add one line to the end. Hitler's bunker in Berlin gets covered over with gravel and turned into a parking lot, beach cafe, and Holocaust memorial.

dai3yuen 07-23-2009 06:14 AM

To the tune of 'Colonel Bogey March"

"Hitler, has only got one ball
The other, he lost it in the war..."

Ahhh......memories of English school upbringing....hating the Germans because of the war(s) and hating the French because they're French!!!

Meowjin 07-23-2009 10:49 AM

alot of missing facts.

BNR32_Coupe 07-23-2009 11:13 AM

what about vietnam and france?

achiam 07-23-2009 11:22 AM

They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

BNR32_Coupe 07-23-2009 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by achiam (Post 6519138)
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

yeah but we're all friends now. US needs japan, like japan needs the US, same with china. nowadays, everybody's leaning on each other.

Qmx323 07-23-2009 11:39 AM

not to mention we probably mostly drive japanese cars.

q0192837465 07-23-2009 12:31 PM

japanese girls ftw

twitchyzero 07-23-2009 01:28 PM

this thread reminds me of my history 12 study notes haha.
my favourite course in high school thanks to an awesome teacher.

Quote:

Originally Posted by achiam (Post 6519138)
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

Nanjing Massacre is devastating..but I dont recall it being anywhere near the death of more than 6million people. (think it was under 0.5 mill)

Unfortunately, ROC returned the massacre upon the Taiwanese population just 10 years after the Nanjing Massacre.

WOW I always thought Stalin was #1 when it came to massacres..nopes.
http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm#Mao

bengy 07-23-2009 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by achiam (Post 6519138)
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

Butthurt much?

Gumby 07-23-2009 03:23 PM

Haha that animated gif kicks ass. If socials was this fun back then, I wouldn't have hated it so much. :p

Culture_Vulture 07-23-2009 03:42 PM

this thread made my day :lol

Vansterdam 07-23-2009 03:54 PM

nicely done

CorneringArtist 07-23-2009 04:01 PM

Where was this when I was in Socials 11? It would have been the PERFECT study tool!

Harvey Specter 07-23-2009 04:55 PM

LOL, gold.

achiam 07-23-2009 05:04 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II_casualties

I'm not sure how accurate the Wiki figures are, but the Chinese death toll I read before in a textbook placed it around 13M, whereas 7M died in Germany. The Wiki page places Chinese civilian deaths at 16M.

achiam 07-23-2009 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twitchyzero (Post 6519332)
this thread reminds me of my history 12 study notes haha.
my favourite course in high school thanks to an awesome teacher.



Nanjing Massacre is devastating..but I dont recall it being anywhere near the death of more than 6million people. (think it was under 0.5 mill)

Unfortunately, ROC returned the massacre upon the Taiwanese population just 10 years after the Nanjing Massacre.

WOW I always thought Stalin was #1 when it came to massacres..nopes.
http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm#Mao

The Nanjing massacre was a one time event, whereas the occupation of Manchuria went on for many many years.

oinkoinkpig 07-23-2009 07:36 PM

Germany officially apologized, Japan....hummmm

jackmeister 07-23-2009 08:05 PM

alright, us chinese bros.. we know what to do.

one jap chick at a time.

some_punk 07-23-2009 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qmx323 (Post 6519161)
not to mention we probably mostly drive japanese cars.

But it was americans that won the war in fact I think they mostly used GM trucks.

Meowjin 07-23-2009 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by achiam (Post 6519138)
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

:rolleyes:

I guess in my case I should go murder muslims.

Meowjin 07-23-2009 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twitchyzero (Post 6519332)
this thread reminds me of my history 12 study notes haha.
my favourite course in high school thanks to an awesome teacher.



Nanjing Massacre is devastating..but I dont recall it being anywhere near the death of more than 6million people. (think it was under 0.5 mill)

Unfortunately, ROC returned the massacre upon the Taiwanese population just 10 years after the Nanjing Massacre.

WOW I always thought Stalin was #1 when it came to massacres..nopes.
http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm#Mao

12 million people in the holocause. Fucking jews take all the glory.

6 million orthodox christians were massacered too (serbia, greece, ukraine, russia etc...)

and yeah communism has caused more deaths than any religion or crusade combined.

TOS'd 07-23-2009 10:01 PM

WWII...as a comic! Reads left to right.

twitchyzero 07-23-2009 10:06 PM

HOLY EPICCC
post of the year
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OP's lecture :lol


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