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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.

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Old 07-23-2009, 03:30 AM   #1
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A brief and accurate description of World War II

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...&defid=3821558


Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit.
Germany invades Poland.
(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
UK holds out.
Russia & the USA don't do shit.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range.
Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing.
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.

And this is how i see it all went down >

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Old 07-23-2009, 04:15 AM   #2
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Wow that's actually a pretty damn good summary. I dunno about the Hitler part though. I thought his aides pretty much got rid of his ashes.

I'd also add one line to the end. Hitler's bunker in Berlin gets covered over with gravel and turned into a parking lot, beach cafe, and Holocaust memorial.
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Old 07-23-2009, 06:14 AM   #3
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To the tune of 'Colonel Bogey March"

"Hitler, has only got one ball
The other, he lost it in the war..."

Ahhh......memories of English school upbringing....hating the Germans because of the war(s) and hating the French because they're French!!!
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Old 07-23-2009, 10:49 AM   #4
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alot of missing facts.
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Old 07-23-2009, 11:13 AM   #5
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what about vietnam and france?
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Old 07-23-2009, 11:22 AM   #6
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They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!
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Old 07-23-2009, 11:35 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by achiam View Post
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!
yeah but we're all friends now. US needs japan, like japan needs the US, same with china. nowadays, everybody's leaning on each other.
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Old 07-23-2009, 11:39 AM   #8
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not to mention we probably mostly drive japanese cars.
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Old 07-23-2009, 12:31 PM   #9
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japanese girls ftw
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Old 07-23-2009, 01:28 PM   #10
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this thread reminds me of my history 12 study notes haha.
my favourite course in high school thanks to an awesome teacher.

Quote:
Originally Posted by achiam View Post
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!
Nanjing Massacre is devastating..but I dont recall it being anywhere near the death of more than 6million people. (think it was under 0.5 mill)

Unfortunately, ROC returned the massacre upon the Taiwanese population just 10 years after the Nanjing Massacre.

WOW I always thought Stalin was #1 when it came to massacres..nopes.
http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm#Mao

Last edited by twitchyzero; 07-23-2009 at 01:41 PM.
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Old 07-23-2009, 01:48 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by achiam View Post
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!
Butthurt much?
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Old 07-23-2009, 03:23 PM   #12
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Haha that animated gif kicks ass. If socials was this fun back then, I wouldn't have hated it so much.
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Old 07-23-2009, 03:42 PM   #13
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this thread made my day
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Old 07-23-2009, 03:54 PM   #14
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nicely done
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Old 07-23-2009, 04:01 PM   #15
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Where was this when I was in Socials 11? It would have been the PERFECT study tool!
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Old 07-23-2009, 04:55 PM   #16
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LOL, gold.
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Old 07-23-2009, 05:04 PM   #17
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II_casualties

I'm not sure how accurate the Wiki figures are, but the Chinese death toll I read before in a textbook placed it around 13M, whereas 7M died in Germany. The Wiki page places Chinese civilian deaths at 16M.
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Old 07-23-2009, 05:05 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twitchyzero View Post
this thread reminds me of my history 12 study notes haha.
my favourite course in high school thanks to an awesome teacher.



Nanjing Massacre is devastating..but I dont recall it being anywhere near the death of more than 6million people. (think it was under 0.5 mill)

Unfortunately, ROC returned the massacre upon the Taiwanese population just 10 years after the Nanjing Massacre.

WOW I always thought Stalin was #1 when it came to massacres..nopes.
http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm#Mao
The Nanjing massacre was a one time event, whereas the occupation of Manchuria went on for many many years.
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Old 07-23-2009, 07:36 PM   #19
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Germany officially apologized, Japan....hummmm
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:05 PM   #20
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alright, us chinese bros.. we know what to do.

one jap chick at a time.
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:24 PM   #21
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not to mention we probably mostly drive japanese cars.
But it was americans that won the war in fact I think they mostly used GM trucks.
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:46 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by achiam View Post
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!


I guess in my case I should go murder muslims.
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:47 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twitchyzero View Post
this thread reminds me of my history 12 study notes haha.
my favourite course in high school thanks to an awesome teacher.



Nanjing Massacre is devastating..but I dont recall it being anywhere near the death of more than 6million people. (think it was under 0.5 mill)

Unfortunately, ROC returned the massacre upon the Taiwanese population just 10 years after the Nanjing Massacre.

WOW I always thought Stalin was #1 when it came to massacres..nopes.
http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm#Mao
12 million people in the holocause. Fucking jews take all the glory.

6 million orthodox christians were massacered too (serbia, greece, ukraine, russia etc...)

and yeah communism has caused more deaths than any religion or crusade combined.
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Old 07-23-2009, 10:01 PM   #24
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WWII...as a comic! Reads left to right.
Spoiler!
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Old 07-23-2009, 10:06 PM   #25
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HOLY EPICCC
post of the year
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OP's lecture
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