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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 09-05-2009, 09:40 AM   #1
I STILL don't get it
 
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Dont understand this girl

Excuse my engrish

So a few nights ago we went to sing K at some singing place in richmond, and one of the server there was really really attractive to me, it took me a while to man up and approach her, hwoever before i did that i could see her glace back at me when i walk by, when our eye sights meet she would put on this smile that i didnt quite get, then when she was outside she looked back at me when i walked out to see my friends who were smoking, again, meet at the eye, i still didnt understand her intention.

my friend told me later that he thinks i have a chance and wanted me to ask her for her number and shit, i didnt do it at first so one of my guy friend decided to ask her, all she told him was "I cant give out information during work" and then done, no more talking.

closer to the end of the day, i decided you know what, shes cute and seems really nice to have as a friend or gf, and i really did feel something just needed confirmation, so i went up and started to chat with her asking how she knew this other friends of mine, and then we started this long chat... where we both were asking each other questions and names and stuff, but when i ask her for her number she told me she works alot and phone number is useless, if i want to find her i should visit her work or call the place... thought it was weird but we would keep chatting like she would still talk and me and ask me questions, but its just she wouldnt let me have her contact infomation..

now during the chat i had to mention my ex and i broke up (stupid ><) and she has seen me go sing there alot with other friends (Some are girls) usually in a big group so i think no biggie..but main thing is.. when i mentioned about my ex she also went ahead and told me she just broke up with her bf, and that they didnt suit each other and shit ..

i just dont understand what the situation here is..
i dont think i made much progress other than saying hi next time we meet..
but i just dont understand this girl.. i hope shes not just being nice cuz im a customer cuz she knows we have some mutual friends too..
and i really wanna get to know her but its kinda hard when i cant catch her off work.. and all the chatting even when i stopped talking she would start some other conversation with me..

any comments will be appreciated
sorry for the long read, thanks for the help

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Old 09-05-2009, 11:49 AM   #2
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yup, shes just being nice, shes not into you.
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Old 09-05-2009, 11:55 AM   #3
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She's playing games with you. That's entertaining for some girls.

I would play games back. But not her game.
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Old 09-05-2009, 12:03 PM   #4
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Sounded nice and dandy untill you ask for her contact info...then she tells you to come see here there or call the place....?wtf

Sounds like she's looking for you to lace her purse with tips...i could be wrong, but i've been working at a night club for the last two years almost and i see this every single night time and time again
(not saying my co-workers are terrible people, but we all gotta eat right, and well if i could smile and make small talk for some extra cash, lets face it...i would too, i just don't have the looks for it...! lmao).
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Old 09-05-2009, 12:27 PM   #5
I STILL don't get it
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 03aspec View Post
yup, shes just being nice, shes not into you.
damn, no chance huh? i was hoping it would be a different answer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noir View Post
She's playing games with you. That's entertaining for some girls.

I would play games back. But not her game.
what games would you play?

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Originally Posted by IronLeg View Post
Sounded nice and dandy untill you ask for her contact info...then she tells you to come see here there or call the place....?wtf

Sounds like she's looking for you to lace her purse with tips...i could be wrong, but i've been working at a night club for the last two years almost and i see this every single night time and time again
(not saying my co-workers are terrible people, but we all gotta eat right, and well if i could smile and make small talk for some extra cash, lets face it...i would too, i just don't have the looks for it...! lmao).
ah, well i believe they get enough tips there, they're usually full and its pretty much manditory to pay 10% tip at the least..
damnn reality is harsh
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Old 09-05-2009, 12:37 PM   #6
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^ add to that..

i definitly dont look rich or anything i mean i wear nice looking stuff but not like brand name shit all over me i hope we find out soon im so curious about her and really wanna know her more

should i just drop by around closing time or something?

Last edited by Evolutionian; 09-05-2009 at 12:38 PM. Reason: add detail
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Old 09-05-2009, 03:34 PM   #7
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you should watch the south park episode " raisins " , shed some light for you
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Old 09-05-2009, 03:42 PM   #8
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since you got her name, i say find her on facebook and start talking there and add her on msn...at least this way you're talking to her outside of work and see how she is there
if she's brushing you off, you know she's just being nice because you're a customer..
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Old 09-05-2009, 04:29 PM   #9
I STILL don't get it
 
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since you got her name, i say find her on facebook and start talking there and add her on msn...at least this way you're talking to her outside of work and see how she is there
if she's brushing you off, you know she's just being nice because you're a customer..
yeah being trying to do that.. cant find her on facebook.. and she wouldnt give me her msn.. apparently she doesnt use it that often.. and i understand that cuz i know a few friends personally that dont use msn.. or log on for like 20 seconds.. but i dont know.. like i said i hope im in good standing but so far its not likely

keep the comments coming its helping

ill update if i do anything
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Old 09-05-2009, 04:34 PM   #10
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^ add to that..

i definitly dont look rich or anything i mean i wear nice looking stuff but not like brand name shit all over me i hope we find out soon im so curious about her and really wanna know her more

should i just drop by around closing time or something?
Try and remember, that these people live off tips, their most likely make minimal wage. It's also back to school time so you kno, any little bit helps. I'm not saying she thinks your a tool or anything, you just gotta look at all the variables

Do you have any theorys on why she said call her at work instead of you getting her number? That seems most odd to me

go for it, be straight up, funny and different and try to pick her up. You will never win the hand if you don't play the cards
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Old 09-05-2009, 04:59 PM   #11
I STILL don't get it
 
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Try and remember, that these people live off tips, their most likely make minimal wage. It's also back to school time so you kno, any little bit helps. I'm not saying she thinks your a tool or anything, you just gotta look at all the variables

Do you have any theorys on why she said call her at work instead of you getting her number? That seems most odd to me

go for it, be straight up, funny and different and try to pick her up. You will never win the hand if you don't play the cards

well.. that was the first day that i approached her.. and to be honest.. my friend who asked her for her msn before me might have made her feel like im doing it for my friend.. so i just hope i can make that clear.. which i paid a visit the other day trying to find her for a little chat but she wasnt working
i will play the card and see how things goes.. as i REALLY like this girl.. well at least from chatting with her for that 10~20mins..
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:19 PM   #12
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lol, picking up a waitress at a karaoke.

I bet at the end of the conversation, she tells the other staff "aiya, another jerk tried to hit on me, I am tired, he keeps asking me my number and I fooled him I don't need cell phone"

seriously, when I used to work at this kinda place, these hotties never interested in giving out numbers to customers. They get asked 100 times each night and they turn down 99 times, the only time she gives out her number must be someone in a SL55, very attractive, and know the staff really well already.
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Old 09-05-2009, 09:43 PM   #13
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you should watch the south park episode " raisins " , shed some light for you
LOL just what I was thinking.
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Old 09-06-2009, 12:04 AM   #14
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I wouldn't fb stalk her. IF she is as busy as she says she probably doesn't go on fb that much anyways. If you're dead set on getting her number try gradually wearing her down go back and chat her up everytime you're there until shes comfortable enough to give her number out. She might have thought you were asking for her number for your friend who asked BEFORE you.

That or yea shes just pulling your strings to get tips. Hell even I do it, I'm a waiter its part of my job to have conversations with customers. And yea i do get more tips when i chat up gays/girls/families.
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Old 09-06-2009, 01:14 PM   #15
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I wouldn't fb stalk her. IF she is as busy as she says she probably doesn't go on fb that much anyways. If you're dead set on getting her number try gradually wearing her down go back and chat her up everytime you're there until shes comfortable enough to give her number out. She might have thought you were asking for her number for your friend who asked BEFORE you.

That or yea shes just pulling your strings to get tips. Hell even I do it, I'm a waiter its part of my job to have conversations with customers. And yea i do get more tips when i chat up gays/girls/families.
sigh.. i some how feel im shit outta luck..
i guess i have no other choices but to just visit her work.. i like singing and i sing alot anyways.. so i dont think thats a problem.. but when girls use my emotion for her to make money that becomes a problem.. lets just hope thats not the way it is

is it a good idea that i sing til they close and just ask her for a drink? or late night food?

like i said.. we've had lots of meet at the eye even before i start talking to her.. its ever since first day when i start singing there..
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Old 09-06-2009, 02:31 PM   #16
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just continue to do things normally , go there like you normally do. Usually when ppl break up there's too much on their mind to decide on other things.

She already knows you're interested in her. Maybe she'll come over to you for a conversation the next time you go K. Then you can ask her "Remember when I asked for your number? Have you changed your mind?"

As long as you're persistant in a not so bothersome kinda way, girls like that.

Good Luck!
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Old 09-06-2009, 03:50 PM   #17
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just continue to do things normally , go there like you normally do. Usually when ppl break up there's too much on their mind to decide on other things.

She already knows you're interested in her. Maybe she'll come over to you for a conversation the next time you go K. Then you can ask her "Remember when I asked for your number? Have you changed your mind?"

As long as you're persistant in a not so bothersome kinda way, girls like that.

Good Luck!
thanks alot for giving me some good advise that would sorta keeps me going..
i mean all the above advises are good.. but they're also very depressing..
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Old 09-08-2009, 08:51 AM   #18
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I don't believe she's interested. It's natural for people to make eye contact with someone when they're being looked at.

If she was interested, then she would've given her number straight up. Then again, you never know with those asian chicks nowadays. One girl I met try to fish a free meal out of me for her number. When we were done I made her pay her part of the bill (after she ordered like, 8 out of 10 dishes)

Go there and try to chat with her when you're there, but don't overdo it, and see if anything can come of it in about 2 weeks. After that, then I'd just wouldn't bother.

Too many asian chicks there out there playing the hot shit game. I usually don't even give more than a week.

Also, the advice given by us on here aren't depressing. You just need to learn to not ask questions you don't like the answers to. Or learn to like them.
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Old 09-08-2009, 12:50 PM   #19
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you're putting a girl you barely know wayyy too high up on your priorities list right now

if she didn't give you her number the last time chances are she's not interested; especially if she said "there's no use for it anyways since i'm always working?" ..well she wasn't working the last time you were there! if someone wants to get to knw you more, they will give you the number. think about all the people that exchange numbers at the clubs! plus, people can smell determination a mile away..and if she aint interested don't think going there more often and visiting her is going to help the situation.

chill out and stop thinking about what your next move will be. if you see her the next time, great--be casual! if you don't, don't feel as if your life is now incomplete.
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Old 09-08-2009, 03:24 PM   #20
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I don't believe she's interested. It's natural for people to make eye contact with someone when they're being looked at.

If she was interested, then she would've given her number straight up. Then again, you never know with those asian chicks nowadays. One girl I met try to fish a free meal out of me for her number. When we were done I made her pay her part of the bill (after she ordered like, 8 out of 10 dishes)

Go there and try to chat with her when you're there, but don't overdo it, and see if anything can come of it in about 2 weeks. After that, then I'd just wouldn't bother.

Too many asian chicks there out there playing the hot shit game. I usually don't even give more than a week.

Also, the advice given by us on here aren't depressing. You just need to learn to not ask questions you don't like the answers to. Or learn to like them.
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you're putting a girl you barely know wayyy too high up on your priorities list right now

if she didn't give you her number the last time chances are she's not interested; especially if she said "there's no use for it anyways since i'm always working?" ..well she wasn't working the last time you were there! if someone wants to get to knw you more, they will give you the number. think about all the people that exchange numbers at the clubs! plus, people can smell determination a mile away..and if she aint interested don't think going there more often and visiting her is going to help the situation.

chill out and stop thinking about what your next move will be. if you see her the next time, great--be casual! if you don't, don't feel as if your life is now incomplete.
ive seen her 2 times at work up until now ever since that day. both times was my friends asking me to go sing but its all good, i chatted with her at work and did what i can but i think perhaps we dont know each other long enough at all, i dont feel like i should spend much more time on her.. however i have to go sing tonight again.. so we'll see how things goes..
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Old 09-08-2009, 07:43 PM   #21
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Good luck. I don't think you'll get anywhere with her. She's probably just being nice for the tips.
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Old 09-08-2009, 11:38 PM   #22
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I'm going to be on the other side of the fence and say try it again if you have the chance. Asian girls, especially the less white-washed ones are much more reserved about giving out contacts. They tend to be stuck-up as well, and its hard to hide for most of them. If you were ugly, you wouldn't have gotten any looks from her at all, let alone a good conversation. My theory is, shes wary of giving a stranger her number, which is a good trait. Just got to break down that thin barrier and away you go.
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:00 AM   #23
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Maybe you're just not singing the right songs. Try

Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye. See how she reacts.
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:37 AM   #24
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Maybe you're just not singing the right songs. Try

Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye. See how she reacts.
What about the pelvic thrusts and hip swaying?
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Old 09-09-2009, 11:14 PM   #25
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