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Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 10-18-2009, 07:22 AM   #26
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imo i don't think the dbag is gonna work out lol

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Old 10-18-2009, 10:42 AM   #27
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imo i don't think the dbag is gonna work out lol
No no.. I'm not saying that he should just start behaving like a Dbag.

Yes, its an angle but OP has nothing to lose. OP already stated that the girl of interest is still in the position of wanting to 'just be friends' and he also mentioned that he has lost interest. So, lets make it a better situation. If she has cute friends.. move on to them. All the while maintaining the 'friend' status with this chick. NO more long chats on the phone... if you must focus the topic on something else.. not her.

at the end of the day, "OP honestly deserve someone really good"
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Old 10-18-2009, 11:49 PM   #28
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I value our friendship and I don’t want to hurt you.
I enjoy being your friend and want to continue to be your friend, but I don’t want to give you the wrong idea. I will also understand if you don’t want to hang out with me anymore or if you want to distance yourself from me or you want me to tone things down

You’ve been a great friend and you’re a wonderful person and I hope we can still be friends."

^THat's actually a very good way to let someone down. I wish most people, men AND women, were this clear, honest and to the point.
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Old 10-19-2009, 12:33 AM   #29
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^^ i heard those lines in a movie somewhere lol
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Old 10-20-2009, 05:21 PM   #30
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when i get in situations like this i always throw down the

"I don't see myself being friends, and I don't think we should hang out if we arn't seeing eachother mutually"

Usually gets good results. Plus guys should never be girls with friends, unless they are co-workers, or someone you can't touch.
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Old 10-20-2009, 06:28 PM   #31
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when i get in situations like this i always throw down the

"I don't see myself being friends, and I don't think we should hang out if we arn't seeing eachother mutually"

Usually gets good results. Plus guys should never be girls with friends, unless they are co-workers, or someone you can't touch.
yah, i tend to distance myself from getting too friendly with girls, unless i myself have absolutely no interest in them.

i have this girl friend who's like a best buddy to me, we talk and hang out a lot, but there is 100% no feelings involved. this sorta friendship could only take place because she happens to be one of my buddy's gf
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Old 10-21-2009, 02:46 AM   #32
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I agree with alot of people's perspectives on the thread, but in my experience good girlfriends can become real girlfriends later on as time flies by...

Long conversations on the phone...hmm, sometimes needed, but if not needed...just get ur point across and leave it at that.

and this:

I value our FRIENDship and I don’t want to hurt you.
I enjoy being your FRIEND and want to continue to be your FRIEND, but I don’t want to give you the wrong idea. I will also understand if you don’t want to hang out with me anymore or if you want to distance yourself from me or you want me to tone things down

You’ve been a great FRIEND and you’re a wonderful person and I hope we can still be FRIENDs."

if the person said this whole paragraph on one go, then it's looking grim for u bud
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Old 11-12-2009, 02:12 PM   #33
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if she says "I'm sorry but I just like you as a friend"

probably means, even tho u two have "great chemistry" she's got better options atm either because you failed at making her interested right from the start (the art of flirting......) or because the "great chemistry" is one way. Am I wrong... I thought chemistry meant more than just getting along great? ie sexual tension n shit haha

if u spent this much time with a girl, you likely exposed something about urself that turned her off from seeing u as anything more than a friend.

when we friend zone guys, its because thats all we see them as being. more or less premanently (at least for me). you're not going to suddenly become a candidate for "more than friends" unless you, or her idea of what she wants in a bf changes. don't count on it happening tho, a few weeks and/or extra effort isn't going to make a difference imo.
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Old 11-12-2009, 02:17 PM   #34
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Walk away. Keep that friendship. You never know what will happen down the line. But in the meantime, keep your options open. ALWAYS keep them open for times like these. It's not worth being all emo and shit over a girl who doesn't want to get involved with you.

she's not into u but ur not so horrible that she wouldnt be friends with u.
sorry for being blunt.

definitely keep the friendship.
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Old 11-12-2009, 02:38 PM   #35
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friendzoned for sure

hell i always say its better getting to know someone while you date them rather than be friends with someone then try and date them
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Old 11-12-2009, 03:34 PM   #36
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I still do NOT know why people ask these stupid questions in front of a girl "i really like you and i want to move this to another level" If this is the case, you're already IN the friend zone.
If the girls have feelings for you, both of ou would be hugging and at least hold each other's hands and be super flirtious with each other. None of the "talk on the phone for hours" type crap. By the 3rd or 4th date, you should be leaning your lips so close to her that she wants to kiss you. (UNLESS you're still in high school)

i don't think I ever had the "talk" with the girl. Let's just say, the "TALK" is the black widow, it's guaranteeed FAIL if you have to do the talk.
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Old 11-13-2009, 11:44 AM   #37
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In those long convos does she ever mention other guys?

But ya, you asked her and she spelled it out loud and clear. Only friends. Next time you are together try and cop a boob feel. Maybe get her drunk.

The only diff between friends and bf/gf is the fucking, and you made her aware that's what you want. So from now on let your hands do the talking.
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Old 11-13-2009, 12:25 PM   #38
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Refer to this article on how to DE-FRIEND-ZONING yourself:

http://www.thebachelorguy.com/skills...iend-zone.html
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Old 11-13-2009, 12:29 PM   #39
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so far, we just exchanged emails, she kept apologizing and said "so where does this leave us now?"

"you honestly deserve someone really good

are we still friends? do you want to?"

I just replied friends is cool and she said ok

that's pretty much it, if she does ask me to hang out etc.. I might just make up an excuse to tell her that i'm busy, my level of interest in her has dropped.

I think thats the worst thing to do. You should keep her by ur side AS A FRIEND.

So, when you meet a potential candidate next time, you have her as your coach to make sure the situation does not repeat.
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:07 PM   #40
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I think thats the worst thing to do. You should keep her by ur side AS A FRIEND.

So, when you meet a potential candidate next time, you have her as your coach to make sure the situation does not repeat.
ok, soo she asked me to hang out again, and we went to Granville island, we had a pretty good time and she asked me if I still like her ?

what is she thinking now ?, change of heart ? or I shouldn't think too much about it
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:26 PM   #41
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She's testing to see if you are her tool
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:27 PM   #42
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more so it seems she doesnt want to lead you on so she is just checking to see if you do or not aka if u do she will see u less.

find another girl
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:49 PM   #43
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more so it seems she doesnt want to lead you on so she is just checking to see if you do or not aka if u do she will see u less.

find another girl
i totally can't read her
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:52 PM   #44
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hey i wonder if it is poossible that a guy can friendzone the chick? if it does happen, it will be rare...
I friendzone all my booty calls ...
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Old 11-17-2009, 02:37 PM   #45
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agreed. totally testing to see if ur her tool.

stop reading into it. just let it go - if its meant to be something, itll happen.
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Old 11-18-2009, 12:42 PM   #46
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more so it seems she doesnt want to lead you on so she is just checking to see if you do or not aka if u do she will see u less.

find another girl
i think so too.

i don't think you should hang out with her one on one as much. what's the point? can you hang out with more people?

so, what was your response when she asked you this? did you ask her why she asked?
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Old 11-19-2009, 03:34 PM   #47
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women are stupid if they think they can be friends with a guy.

if im you're friend...i want to fuck you.

if i offer to help you with anything...i want to fuck you.

if i talk on the phone for hours with you...i want to fuck you.

its pretty simple to understand a man.

we don't put women in the friend-zone, either we want to fuck you, or already are.

Otherwise you're taking up the time we could be hanging out with our bros, talking about women we'd like to fuck, car chases and exploding shit.

edit: guys, if you are in the friendzone, walk away. there's nothing for you here.

I dunno about you but id rather not get pussy if it means i wasn't #1 on the list.
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Old 11-19-2009, 06:17 PM   #48
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women are stupid if they think they can be friends with a guy.

if im you're friend...i want to fuck you.

if i offer to help you with anything...i want to fuck you.

if i talk on the phone for hours with you...i want to fuck you.

its pretty simple to understand a man.

we don't put women in the friend-zone, either we want to fuck you, or already are.

Otherwise you're taking up the time we could be hanging out with our bros, talking about women we'd like to fuck, car chases and exploding shit.

edit: guys, if you are in the friendzone, walk away. there's nothing for you here.

I dunno about you but id rather not get pussy if it means i wasn't #1 on the list.
very true

so today, we had lunch together and she was finally opened to talk about our situation. I asked her why she only sees me as a friend. She says that she likes me as a friend but isn't attractive to me or likes me in a way for something more. She then talks about she's not looking for a relationship blah blah. So at least, she was pretty straight forward, and yet she wants to be friends still and likes hanging out with me 1 on 1 but only as friends.

She tells me that i'm her only guy friend she feels comfortable talking to and is very close to. I told her, lots of things we do are not considered as friends but more like more couples. She just said she understands but she only likes me as a friend. She says that it's the liking feeling, and it's not there for a relationship and she thinks it's not fair she doesn't like me and I like her.

So basically, that was that, I'm more relaxed now and will get over this pretty soon. Haha, what can I say, all the girls i've met are always like this, friends this, friends that. They all see scared to give relationships a try. By the way, this girl has never been in a relationship before. I think she's shy and trying to avoid the situation but she won't admit it
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:48 AM   #49
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She doesnt want to get with you because to her, you are subpar to her expectations or to whatever she wants.
She keeps you around cuz she thinks its the right thing to keep men as friends...afterall, friendship doesnt matter gender wise. Meh. You're like a security blanket to make her feel good in one form or the other.

With all thats been said and done, good for you. Now, forget about her already.
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Old 12-05-2009, 08:43 AM   #50
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have you ever tried to make a move on her??
cuz i think that usually works better.
have you ever tried holding her hand, putting your arms around her, cuddling with her...
you said she feels comfortable around you so that should be something you should try out.
actions speak louder than words.
a friendly nudge leads to a tickle, then leads to a cuddle, then holding hands, peck on the cheek, then closer to the lips, on the lips etc...the next thing you know, you're already tapping that shit!

rather than telling her i like you. cuz that just gives you 2 answers.
1a. no sorry. then move on
1b. i only like you as a friend. which is pretty much no. so move on
2. yes. ok let's develop this relationship and start fucking already
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