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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 11-25-2009, 07:26 PM   #1
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How much money left after a wedding/banquet?

A several of my high school friends got married this year. Their weddings
were awesome, hotel banquet, over 400 wedding photos, invited over 300
relatives and friends, fancy honeymoon vacation in some pacific islands/
caribbean sea/northern europe etc.

Our friends are happy for them cause everything was planned out nicely, and
seems that they could afford such a beautiful event and honey moon.

But few night ago we came out and grabbed a drink. Everyone was so quiet
holding the same beer bottle throughout the night. Then they start
complaining how much money they blew in one single week. One guy spent
$75K for everything excluding the diamond ring. The others paid around 55K
to 68K.

Well, they are living in a wealthy family and having their own business, but
the amount they spent left them so broke, and now they can't afford a
mortgage down payment in the next few years.

We are pretty sure their wives knew about it in advance, but didn't intend to
cut any expense, I bet they said "it's only once in your life" and it is not their
money anyway. How would you plan out your wedding and manage all the
expenses with your SO? How much money did/will you spend in your wedding?

Let's say you have $75K saved, how would you allocate it to your wedding?

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Old 11-25-2009, 07:35 PM   #2
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$75k all for the wedding banquette, screw the honeymoon, we can just fuck for 2 weeks straight.
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Old 11-25-2009, 10:21 PM   #3
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$75K net of proceeds received from the wedding?
you know that in asian culture guests that go to weddings pay a "fee" right?...i really dont know how ur frds could spend so much cos my parents keep saying ppl wed just so they MAKE money off of the wedding because the amount received is greater than the amount spent..

just my $0.02
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Old 11-25-2009, 10:41 PM   #4
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I always assumed that for Chinese weddings, the couple makes a profit from the wedding. Of course that is just for the wedding alone, not including honeymoon and ring and what not.

I know in Guangdong you must give back a % of whatever a guest gives you. That sucks
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Old 11-25-2009, 10:45 PM   #5
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looks like they're trying to show off with this big elaborate wedding, that realistically everyone will more or less forget anyways. People will (or should anyways) only remember that it was a happy occasion because two people who love each other got married.

It's like a bit on the news I saw when swine flu hit Mexico and lots of trips got canceled, and this woman was complaining how her wedding was "ruined" because they couldn't go to Mexico. I guess she missed the memo that the wedding is about love.
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Old 11-25-2009, 10:59 PM   #6
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I always assumed that for Chinese weddings, the couple makes a profit from the wedding. Of course that is just for the wedding alone, not including honeymoon and ring and what not.

I know in Guangdong you must give back a % of whatever a guest gives you. That sucks
If you have a hotel banquet, you will never ever make it back, you're always down in the hole. I also had some friends get married this year, and they talked about the same things, it's pretty much balling.

Most ppl get back a portion, but the %'s back are quite frightening.
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:03 PM   #7
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if i ever decide to get married, the whole thing will cost less than 5k, ideally just go downtown sign some papers and take a flight to hawaii or wherever that's tropical and bang
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:51 PM   #8
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75K CAD? or is this in HK?

This is why my gf and I got a condo first before marriage.
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Old 11-26-2009, 12:12 AM   #9
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I'm looking at almost $40k, but about half of that is on the banquet, which we would expect to recover most, if not all, of the cost.
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Old 11-26-2009, 01:00 AM   #10
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just don't marry during a recession. people close their wallets.
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Old 11-26-2009, 01:42 AM   #11
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If you plan on spending money on others, don't expect to see anything back.

I've been to enough weddings to know how cheap (or giving) some people really are, irregardless of their financial means.

For asian families, much of the money tends to goes towards the food portion; it goes a long way when you feed your guests well.
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Old 11-26-2009, 07:39 AM   #12
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I think a cheap person so for me I will spend about maybe 45k food, photos etc etc. including honeymoon.

Yes I know I am cheap =D
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Old 11-26-2009, 08:14 AM   #13
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^ 45k is cheap? I had a few friend who spent around 20K and it was fine. Just depends on what you want.
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Old 11-26-2009, 09:03 AM   #14
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An average banquet will cost between $40 (on the really low end) to over $200 per person. Most guest will only give you $40 per person, if they don't give you a gift instead.
Say an average chinese banquet at Sun Siu Wah will cost you about $800 per table plus taxes. 300 people = 30 tables = $24K plus taxes and alcohol. Even if all 300 people were really kind and gave you $75, that is $22,500.

Then the wedding itself. Photo's cost $5K to 10K depending on who you go with.

Limo, tux, wedding gown, dresses for the bride's maid and maid of honour, and tuxes for the best man and groomsmen. Church rental, flowers, food, makeup.

It's a lie when people say they make money off of a wedding, unless they have wealthy family that give lots of $$$$.

Oh yeah, and you will always have a few people who show up with unexpected guest and give like $20 or some cheezy regift.
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Old 11-26-2009, 10:53 AM   #15
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$20k. i had to continually insist to my wife to keep the budget modest. i said you can have a grand wedding and have no home, or have a modest one and have a roof over your head.

i'd rather have a roof over our head for the next few decades instead of blow it all on 1 day. i remember my friend that married the year before gave me this advice: do what makes you guys happy. your real friends will be happy for you no matter what, and those that care about stuff at your wedding...f*ck em...as long as everyone has fun and enjoys the day, throwing money around wont matter. no one remembers how much you spent, not in a good way anyway. they'll remember the fun times though.
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Old 11-26-2009, 12:40 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SumAznGuy View Post
An average banquet will cost between $40 (on the really low end) to over $200 per person. Most guest will only give you $40 per person, if they don't give you a gift instead.
Say an average chinese banquet at Sun Siu Wah will cost you about $800 per table plus taxes. 300 people = 30 tables = $24K plus taxes and alcohol. Even if all 300 people were really kind and gave you $75, that is $22,500.

Then the wedding itself. Photo's cost $5K to 10K depending on who you go with.

Limo, tux, wedding gown, dresses for the bride's maid and maid of honour, and tuxes for the best man and groomsmen. Church rental, flowers, food, makeup.

It's a lie when people say they make money off of a wedding, unless they have wealthy family that give lots of $$$$.

Oh yeah, and you will always have a few people who show up with unexpected guest and give like $20 or some cheezy regift.
HOLLY SHIT! i never knew getting married cost THISSS MUCH!

this is insane, how do ppl actually afford this stuff (no exclude the super rich ones with family support)

those who arent spoiled like a spoiled brat, getting married almost seems like its mission impossible.

for an average house/apartment/townhouse downpayment ranges from $20-40g downpayment, i think it makes a lot more sense saving up for a roof to live in instead blowing all out on a marriage and be fucked for 3-4 years until you slowly paying back those money that you blew.,
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Old 11-26-2009, 12:44 PM   #17
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East Indian weddings can get quite expensive. Don't quote me on this, but an average wedding could run about $50,000, and that's just an average. Of course there are some people that go all out.

Similar to what someone said earlier. After the wedding ceremony. All the guests line up and give money to the bride and groom at the temple. LOL...wedding fee..ahaahha
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Old 11-26-2009, 12:46 PM   #18
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Oh and since the receptions are open bar, the grooms side of the family takes a big ding on that one.
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Old 11-26-2009, 01:31 PM   #19
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yeah, i bartend at weddings and mainly it is open bars and i get lineups non stop so they did go all out on the booze

just go through a vegas wedding get hitched then come back for a small banquet/dinner from immediate family and call it that, i think that way you won't be spending much plus you have a potential of making money if not breaking even
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Old 11-26-2009, 09:06 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asian_XL View Post
A several of my high school friends got married this year. Their weddings
were awesome, hotel banquet, over 400 wedding photos, invited over 300
relatives and friends, fancy honeymoon vacation in some pacific islands/
caribbean sea/northern europe etc.

Our friends are happy for them cause everything was planned out nicely, and
seems that they could afford such a beautiful event and honey moon.

But few night ago we came out and grabbed a drink. Everyone was so quiet
holding the same beer bottle throughout the night. Then they start
complaining how much money they blew in one single week. One guy spent
$75K for everything excluding the diamond ring. The others paid around 55K
to 68K.

Well, they are living in a wealthy family and having their own business, but
the amount they spent left them so broke, and now they can't afford a
mortgage down payment in the next few years.

We are pretty sure their wives knew about it in advance, but didn't intend to
cut any expense, I bet they said "it's only once in your life" and it is not their
money anyway. How would you plan out your wedding and manage all the
expenses with your SO? How much money did/will you spend in your wedding?

Let's say you have $75K saved, how would you allocate it to your wedding?
My parents and my future in-laws pretty much have no say in my wedding as I am the one footing the bills but I will still listen to their opinions (if and when they have any). I guess I am one of the lucky ones that my future in-laws aren't douchebags and they've been nothing but nice to me, asking me not to waste too much money on the wedding itself. I am capping my wedding expenses to around HK$200-250k as there are other priorities in life (and I have to assume that I will not get a dime back). For rings and stuff, if you go to the retail places, you'll get raped even if they give you a 50% discount. Definitely find ways to save unless you have a lot of money to burn. For other stuff, go to the wedding exhibition which happens almost every month... It's a frigging annoying exhibition because of the annoying sales, but you do get better deals that way. For photos package, talk with your SO about how you want to proceed, if the package only includes X amount of photos, make sure she doesn't go crazy after viewing the pictures and STICK TO A REALISTIC NUMBER of photos that won't break your wallet.

To be honest, your friends are doing it wrong. If their family is that well off, their parents would've paid for a big chunk of the wedding as it's more like a family event than a wedding (and I am sure they won't mind forking out a chunk for your friends' down payment towards an apartment?).

300 guests x HK$800 = your friend will get at least HK$240k+ back on the banquet night. Since your friend is well off, I am sure he will get more than HK$800 average per guest. Assuming that your friends spend HK$407k, he will only need to write off around HK$167k, which isn't that much relatively to a downpayment of an apartment.
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Old 11-26-2009, 10:14 PM   #21
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East Indian weddings can get quite expensive. Don't quote me on this, but an average wedding could run about $50,000, and that's just an average. Of course there are some people that go all out.

Similar to what someone said earlier. After the wedding ceremony. All the guests line up and give money to the bride and groom at the temple. LOL...wedding fee..ahaahha
Yea, but at least an East Indian wedding is fun.
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Old 11-27-2009, 08:11 AM   #22
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$20k. i had to continually insist to my wife to keep the budget modest. i said you can have a grand wedding and have no home, or have a modest one and have a roof over your head.

i'd rather have a roof over our head for the next few decades instead of blow it all on 1 day. i remember my friend that married the year before gave me this advice: do what makes you guys happy. your real friends will be happy for you no matter what, and those that care about stuff at your wedding...f*ck em...as long as everyone has fun and enjoys the day, throwing money around wont matter. no one remembers how much you spent, not in a good way anyway. they'll remember the fun times though.
couldn't have said it any better.
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Old 11-27-2009, 09:33 AM   #23
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Yea, but at least an East Indian wedding is fun.
fun as in an orgy party?

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Old 11-27-2009, 09:39 AM   #24
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i know a couple who spent 200k on their wedding... two separate wedding in two country for both sides of the family... expensive
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Old 11-27-2009, 10:08 AM   #25
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HOLLY SHIT! i never knew getting married cost THISSS MUCH!
.,
when i first got engaged i thought of a budget of $10k would be reasonable. then i started shopping around realizing what stuff really cost and i was like sh*t

someone posted above go to vegas: best idea if both groom/bride are down for it.
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