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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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12-07-2009, 08:04 PM
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#1 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: burnaby
Posts: 210
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| Bicurious 19 Year Old Male seeking Advice
I recently graduated from high school. Back in high school i had a girlfriend for about 4 years, but as my graduation came closer, i had lost feelings for her. I wasn't sure what kind of feelings, sex was okay, her looks were okay, and we didn't argue, but i just stopped being attracted her. I thought this was just a normal thing for everyone, so we decided to break it off.
Fast forward two years from highschool and now im legal. I recently went clubbing with a few of my girl friends from high school. We went to celebrities on tuesday and as we were all having a good time dancing and drinking, we met a couple of other gay guys there cause they were chatting it up with my friends. So as we were buying more and more drinks, i started to dance with some of the guys there, and one thing led to another. My girlfriends left early and i stayed becuase i guess i was sort of attracted to one of them becuase our conversation was really great and he understood me on a different level that my past gfs wouldnt. We ended the night with a kiss, and i got his number.
Im still not sure whether im attracted to males or females.... Has anyone gone though this and is this just a phase?
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12-07-2009, 08:10 PM
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#2 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: van
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by bigassbooger  I recently graduated from high school. Back in high school i had a girlfriend for about 4 years, but as my graduation came closer, i had lost feelings for her. I wasn't sure what kind of feelings, sex was okay, her looks were okay, and we didn't argue, but i just stopped being attracted her. I thought this was just a normal thing for everyone, so we decided to break it off.
Fast forward two years from highschool and now im legal. I recently went clubbing with a few of my girl friends from high school. We went to celebrities on tuesday and as we were all having a good time dancing and drinking, we met a couple of other gay guys there cause they were chatting it up with my friends. So as we were buying more and more drinks, i started to dance with some of the guys there, and one thing led to another. My girlfriends left early and i stayed becuase i guess i was sort of attracted to one of them becuase our conversation was really great and he understood me on a different level that my past gfs wouldnt. We ended the night with a kiss, and i got his number.
Im still not sure whether im attracted to males or females.... Has anyone gone though this and is this just a phase? | just a phase?
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12-07-2009, 08:22 PM
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#3 | | I WANT MY 10 YEARS BACK FROM RS.net!
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12-07-2009, 08:27 PM
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#4 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Van
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That is not a phase, the way you are feeling will not change IMO.
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12-07-2009, 08:28 PM
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#5 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Vancouver
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This guy is trying to be serious and you just have to be a jerk about it, asian_xl.
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12-07-2009, 09:41 PM
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#6 | | Say! Say! Say!
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Japan
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I'm always here for you. 
__________________ Quote: | Owner of Vansterdam's 420th thanks. OH YEAUHHH. | Quote:
Originally Posted by 89blkcivic Did I tell you guys black is my favourite colour? My Ridgeline is black. My Honda Fit is black. Wish my dick was black........ LOL. | | |
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12-07-2009, 10:21 PM
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#7 | | My dinner reheated before my turbo spooled
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Vancouver
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I don't think this is "just a phase"
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12-07-2009, 10:26 PM
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#8 | | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Port Moody
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It can either be a phase or you are just simply attracted to guys. Well....the other option is you are bi-sexual which might not be a bad thing.
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12-07-2009, 10:40 PM
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#9 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver
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it could be just a phase, i've had girl friends who dated other girls i guess to experiment? these were long term relationships too and when i ask them about if, it was basically just to explore and they're straight
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12-08-2009, 12:23 AM
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#10 | | Director of RS Cares
Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Crayon Box
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for some people, being bisexual is a phase and sometimes it isn't. i think this is something you're going to have to explore on your own terms and to accept that this is who you are (whether you're straight, gay, bi) as there is nothing wrong with being you. i say go out with this guy and see how you feel. no one is going to be able to tell you who you have to like or who you have to be--this is strictly your decisions and yours only.
to shed some light onto this, i have a friend who use to date girls and had long term relationships with women. but as he got older and was more exposed to different types of people, he realized he is gay and is now dating a great guy. it took him a lot of strength and courage to figure who he is, and now he is out of the closet and with someone who loves him.
__________________  tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
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12-08-2009, 06:15 AM
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#11 | | ESKETIT
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: EASTVAN
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bi-accident or bi-curious lol
i say you go for it and then hit up another chick n see which one u perfer.... hell maybe u should go for both like tila LOL
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12-08-2009, 07:35 AM
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#12 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
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Maybe you should persue the guy a little more and see how you really feel and if it works out. You never know. I'm always for love even if its homosexual. Everyone in the world deserves to be happy. Don't hide who you really are if in the end it'll make you happy.
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12-08-2009, 05:30 PM
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#13 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 247
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call that guy and suck his dick, if you don't puke from disgust 5 seconds into the process your definitely gay/bi
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12-08-2009, 06:54 PM
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#14 | | :inoutugh:
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: ඞ
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^ so you tried for at least 4 seconds?
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12-08-2009, 07:51 PM
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#15 | | 14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vancouver
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^haha clever
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12-08-2009, 07:55 PM
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#16 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 247
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Originally Posted by TOS'd ^ so you tried for at least 4 seconds? |
I was never uncertain about my sexual orientation, so no.
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12-08-2009, 08:23 PM
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#17 | | Hacked RS to become a mod
Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sunny Hong Kong
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What kind of deep conversation did you have with this guy at a club that led you to believe he knows you "on a different level"?
Conversations at clubs usually consist of nodding, and pretending you can hear what the other one is saying. Or maybe that's what he did, and you fell for it?  | |
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12-08-2009, 09:06 PM
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#18 | | Banned (ABWS)
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edit: isnt celebrities a gay club?
Last edited by Zyzz; 12-08-2009 at 09:13 PM.
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12-08-2009, 09:12 PM
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#19 | | I WANT MY 10 YEARS BACK FROM RS.net!
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Vancouver BC
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^ tuesday's is straight night?
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12-08-2009, 09:14 PM
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#20 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Mid-levels, HK
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i dont think it matters
its on davie street too... not like straight nights will keep gay people from going...
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12-13-2009, 12:42 PM
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#21 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: East Atlanta 6
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^ hahaha
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12-13-2009, 08:32 PM
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#22 | | Ready to be Man handled by RS!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Riiiichmond
Posts: 97
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Well, in the gay community we say bi now gay later!
I kid, I kid.
I think what you're going through is part of a normal self discovery process. I don't believe that sexuality is easily definable nor black and white. For some people gender is irrelevant, but rather they're attracted to the individual person.
The Kinsey scale is a famous example that supports this notion. Ugh, I know, I know. Wikipedia...don't have any fancy schmancy scholarly articles on me. hehe. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
But yeah, don't worry about defining your sexuality just yet. Just explore (safely, of course) and see what works and what doesn't work. Try not to overthink things. I know I fooled myself for a long time telling myself I was bisexual just so that I could live up to the expectations of my family/society. Now I have some pretty funny dinner party stories of awkwardness. Not that I don't think you're not bisexual at all, but again, just try not to overthink things.
PS Clubs are probably not the best place to get a feel of what bi/gay culture is like haha
PPS For you heteros, celebs is usually ridiculously straight on Stereotype Fridays, too. Makes my life difficult, telling who is and isn't!
PPPS Intelligent straight guys will go on Saturdays (gay night) to get massive selection of heterosexual girls.
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12-13-2009, 08:46 PM
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#23 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: vancouver
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why do gay ppl always hit on me? i dont have a lisp or anything
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12-13-2009, 09:04 PM
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#24 | | Ready to be Man handled by RS!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Riiiichmond
Posts: 97
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by liu13 why do gay ppl always hit on me? i dont have a lisp or anything | A. You're attractive (yay?)
B. Perhaps your "being hit on senses" are overly sensitive? Gay people tend to be more outgoing.
C. You're wearing American Apparel. Seriously, we power this overpriced brand. Clearly, I'm still mad I paid $28 for a plain T-shirt.
Funny story. A straight friend of mine was at celebs one time and a gay guy wanted to get past him to get to the bar and he thought the guy was trying to grind up against him. He jumped at least 20 feet. lol. He talks about it to this day, "Remember that time..." None of us have the heart to tell him that no, he wasn't being grinded up against. We'll let him feel attractive.
For the most part, gay men are generally pretty picky with who they go for so good for you if you're getting hit on!
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12-13-2009, 09:12 PM
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#25 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: vancouver
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yeah i got one AA hoodie but i wasn't wearing it when it usually happens
one of them invited me back to his place, i didn't even know he was gay until he asked me that and tried to reach for me
i did some party favors with this guy then he "attacked" me
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