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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 12-07-2009, 09:04 PM   #1
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Bicurious 19 Year Old Male seeking Advice

I recently graduated from high school. Back in high school i had a girlfriend for about 4 years, but as my graduation came closer, i had lost feelings for her. I wasn't sure what kind of feelings, sex was okay, her looks were okay, and we didn't argue, but i just stopped being attracted her. I thought this was just a normal thing for everyone, so we decided to break it off.

Fast forward two years from highschool and now im legal. I recently went clubbing with a few of my girl friends from high school. We went to celebrities on tuesday and as we were all having a good time dancing and drinking, we met a couple of other gay guys there cause they were chatting it up with my friends. So as we were buying more and more drinks, i started to dance with some of the guys there, and one thing led to another. My girlfriends left early and i stayed becuase i guess i was sort of attracted to one of them becuase our conversation was really great and he understood me on a different level that my past gfs wouldnt. We ended the night with a kiss, and i got his number.

Im still not sure whether im attracted to males or females.... Has anyone gone though this and is this just a phase?

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Old 12-07-2009, 09:10 PM   #2
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I recently graduated from high school. Back in high school i had a girlfriend for about 4 years, but as my graduation came closer, i had lost feelings for her. I wasn't sure what kind of feelings, sex was okay, her looks were okay, and we didn't argue, but i just stopped being attracted her. I thought this was just a normal thing for everyone, so we decided to break it off.

Fast forward two years from highschool and now im legal. I recently went clubbing with a few of my girl friends from high school. We went to celebrities on tuesday and as we were all having a good time dancing and drinking, we met a couple of other gay guys there cause they were chatting it up with my friends. So as we were buying more and more drinks, i started to dance with some of the guys there, and one thing led to another. My girlfriends left early and i stayed becuase i guess i was sort of attracted to one of them becuase our conversation was really great and he understood me on a different level that my past gfs wouldnt. We ended the night with a kiss, and i got his number.

Im still not sure whether im attracted to males or females.... Has anyone gone though this and is this just a phase?
just a phase?
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Old 12-07-2009, 09:22 PM   #3
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Old 12-07-2009, 09:27 PM   #4
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That is not a phase, the way you are feeling will not change IMO.
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Old 12-07-2009, 09:28 PM   #5
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This guy is trying to be serious and you just have to be a jerk about it, asian_xl.
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Old 12-07-2009, 10:41 PM   #6
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Old 12-07-2009, 11:21 PM   #7
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I don't think this is "just a phase"
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Old 12-07-2009, 11:26 PM   #8
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It can either be a phase or you are just simply attracted to guys. Well....the other option is you are bi-sexual which might not be a bad thing.
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Old 12-07-2009, 11:40 PM   #9
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it could be just a phase, i've had girl friends who dated other girls i guess to experiment? these were long term relationships too and when i ask them about if, it was basically just to explore and they're straight
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Old 12-08-2009, 01:23 AM   #10
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for some people, being bisexual is a phase and sometimes it isn't. i think this is something you're going to have to explore on your own terms and to accept that this is who you are (whether you're straight, gay, bi) as there is nothing wrong with being you. i say go out with this guy and see how you feel. no one is going to be able to tell you who you have to like or who you have to be--this is strictly your decisions and yours only.

to shed some light onto this, i have a friend who use to date girls and had long term relationships with women. but as he got older and was more exposed to different types of people, he realized he is gay and is now dating a great guy. it took him a lot of strength and courage to figure who he is, and now he is out of the closet and with someone who loves him.
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Old 12-08-2009, 07:15 AM   #11
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bi-accident or bi-curious lol

i say you go for it and then hit up another chick n see which one u perfer.... hell maybe u should go for both like tila LOL
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Old 12-08-2009, 08:35 AM   #12
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Maybe you should persue the guy a little more and see how you really feel and if it works out. You never know. I'm always for love even if its homosexual. Everyone in the world deserves to be happy. Don't hide who you really are if in the end it'll make you happy.
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Old 12-08-2009, 06:30 PM   #13
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call that guy and suck his dick, if you don't puke from disgust 5 seconds into the process your definitely gay/bi
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Old 12-08-2009, 07:54 PM   #14
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^ so you tried for at least 4 seconds?
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Old 12-08-2009, 08:51 PM   #15
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^haha clever
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Old 12-08-2009, 08:55 PM   #16
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^ so you tried for at least 4 seconds?

I was never uncertain about my sexual orientation, so no.
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Old 12-08-2009, 09:23 PM   #17
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What kind of deep conversation did you have with this guy at a club that led you to believe he knows you "on a different level"?

Conversations at clubs usually consist of nodding, and pretending you can hear what the other one is saying. Or maybe that's what he did, and you fell for it?
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Old 12-08-2009, 10:06 PM   #18
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edit: isnt celebrities a gay club?

Last edited by Zyzz; 12-08-2009 at 10:13 PM.
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Old 12-08-2009, 10:12 PM   #19
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^ tuesday's is straight night?
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Old 12-08-2009, 10:14 PM   #20
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i dont think it matters

its on davie street too... not like straight nights will keep gay people from going...
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Old 12-13-2009, 01:42 PM   #21
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^ hahaha
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:32 PM   #22
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Well, in the gay community we say bi now gay later!

I kid, I kid.

I think what you're going through is part of a normal self discovery process. I don't believe that sexuality is easily definable nor black and white. For some people gender is irrelevant, but rather they're attracted to the individual person.

The Kinsey scale is a famous example that supports this notion. Ugh, I know, I know. Wikipedia...don't have any fancy schmancy scholarly articles on me. hehe. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale

But yeah, don't worry about defining your sexuality just yet. Just explore (safely, of course) and see what works and what doesn't work. Try not to overthink things. I know I fooled myself for a long time telling myself I was bisexual just so that I could live up to the expectations of my family/society. Now I have some pretty funny dinner party stories of awkwardness. Not that I don't think you're not bisexual at all, but again, just try not to overthink things.

PS Clubs are probably not the best place to get a feel of what bi/gay culture is like haha
PPS For you heteros, celebs is usually ridiculously straight on Stereotype Fridays, too. Makes my life difficult, telling who is and isn't!
PPPS Intelligent straight guys will go on Saturdays (gay night) to get massive selection of heterosexual girls.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:46 PM   #23
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why do gay ppl always hit on me? i dont have a lisp or anything
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Old 12-13-2009, 10:04 PM   #24
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why do gay ppl always hit on me? i dont have a lisp or anything
A. You're attractive (yay?)
B. Perhaps your "being hit on senses" are overly sensitive? Gay people tend to be more outgoing.
C. You're wearing American Apparel. Seriously, we power this overpriced brand. Clearly, I'm still mad I paid $28 for a plain T-shirt.

Funny story. A straight friend of mine was at celebs one time and a gay guy wanted to get past him to get to the bar and he thought the guy was trying to grind up against him. He jumped at least 20 feet. lol. He talks about it to this day, "Remember that time..." None of us have the heart to tell him that no, he wasn't being grinded up against. We'll let him feel attractive.

For the most part, gay men are generally pretty picky with who they go for so good for you if you're getting hit on!
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Old 12-13-2009, 10:12 PM   #25
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yeah i got one AA hoodie but i wasn't wearing it when it usually happens

one of them invited me back to his place, i didn't even know he was gay until he asked me that and tried to reach for me

i did some party favors with this guy then he "attacked" me
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