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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 12-10-2009, 03:09 AM   #1
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Relationships & School

just curious..

How do you guys balance your relationships and school? Do you tend to lose focus on your studies because you're distracted? Is it possible to keep up your good grades and still make time for your girlfriend/boyfriend or you don't even bother with having a relationship?

I'd like to know how you guys handle this situation..

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Old 12-10-2009, 03:50 AM   #2
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You better be getting straight a's if you can't spare 30 minutes of sex taken out of your study time!
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Old 12-10-2009, 06:35 AM   #3
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sometimes it's hard to find a balance, which is why I haven't been in a relationship for the majority of my college career so far...
I suppose it depends on the type of relationship you have and what's available to you. My buddy meets his girlfriend 3 to 4 times a week for more than several hours at a time. They're in a stable relationship.
I meet my girl one a week during the weekdays and she often sleeps over during the weekends (she's at UBC living in Vancouver and I'm at SFU living in Surrey), and we get along pretty well also.

As you'd imagine, we have sex almost every time we meet, and my buddy tells me he only has sex about once every other meeting.
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Old 12-10-2009, 09:03 AM   #4
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depends what type of person you are... my gf and and were dating through U and we're both graduated and working now...
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Old 12-10-2009, 09:52 AM   #5
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depends what type of person you are... my gf and and were dating through U and we're both graduated and working now...
Agreed, it really depends on the dedication you have towards your schooling, having a girlfriend is like going out clubbing, you go out have a good time and you're back to your studies. It is also dependent on the girl you are dating, if shes a focused girl that is in school or working then great, she understands you need your space and she needs hers. If you've got a high maintenance girlfriend that just sits around all day and wants to go out to eat every meal and club every night, you might have a problem.
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Old 12-10-2009, 11:43 AM   #6
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^ this
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Old 12-10-2009, 12:12 PM   #7
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Old 12-10-2009, 12:29 PM   #8
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you go to school so you can screw, hit two birds with one stone

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Old 12-10-2009, 04:03 PM   #9
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It's bullshit. It's not like you're studying at every waking moment for the next 4 years or whatever. That's inhumanly impossible.

IMO, the "I'm too busy" excuse is just a face saving excuse for not being able to having any. Trust me, relationships work whether people have other priorities such as work, school, etc.

Unless you have a really really needy partner.
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Old 12-10-2009, 04:07 PM   #10
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it's not that hard to balance. but if ur other half doesnt recognize ur need for study time, then we have a problem
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Old 12-10-2009, 05:12 PM   #11
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I never really understood it when people say "I cant date because I have school"

But it def depends on the person you're dating, common interest and values is suuuper important i find. If one person's going to uni, and the other person's just bumming around doing jack all day long, it would be very difficult to keep that relationship going cause then the person going to school would feel pressured into seeing the other person excessively because theyve got all this free time on their hands. If both were going to school, then both people would understand the responsibilities and be able to work out a compromise that makes everyone happy.
When I have midterms and craploads of papers due I still take friday evenings to spend with my bf who probably also has a load of work to do, and then a few hours either sat or sun to grab a coffee or whatever cause I know I won't be "studying" or doing school work my ENTIRE weekend and can't spare 3 hours of my time.
As long as there's mutual understanding school shouldn't interfere with the relationship at all. You should never feel "obligated" to sacrifice time to spend together if there's a good understanding between the two people
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Old 12-10-2009, 05:59 PM   #12
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As long as there's mutual understanding school shouldn't interfere with the relationship at all. You should never feel "obligated" to sacrifice time to spend together if there's a good understanding between the two people
Very well put! I would like to date you.
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Old 12-10-2009, 05:59 PM   #13
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Um what if you are currently in a strictly sexual relationship with one of your female professors? What would one do in this situation?
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Old 12-10-2009, 06:33 PM   #14
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Quote:
How do you guys balance your relationships and school?
well school comes first.
my boyfriend and I haven't seen each other on weekdays bcos we are both so busy
with school (especially with finals!) so it's not really a big deal lol
we're so busy we dont really notice it.
And plus, if my bf is really busy with school and im not.. its not like im gonna cry about it
lmao i dont want to be responsible for his bad grades

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Old 12-10-2009, 06:48 PM   #15
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we just put off time when we both have finals, and wen we have time we spend them together
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Old 12-11-2009, 12:58 AM   #16
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do you guys ever feel distracted from your studies and more focused on your girlfriend/boyfriend? like for example if you're thinking about them, just had an argument and whatnot and can't seem to get your mind off them..
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Old 12-11-2009, 03:55 AM   #17
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i've chosen while in school i have no time for relationships. Same goes when you work 2 jobs. Just going to have to really on the right hand for a while :P
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Old 12-11-2009, 04:22 AM   #18
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Speaking of which, why the hell do girls pick the worst time to have that talk to mutually break up? I HAVE FINALS TILL THE 22nd WOMAN!!
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Old 12-11-2009, 04:56 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JSALES View Post
do you guys ever feel distracted from your studies and more focused on your girlfriend/boyfriend? like for example if you're thinking about them, just had an argument and whatnot and can't seem to get your mind off them..
As mentioned above, I think it all comes down to your priorities. If one person prioritizes the relationship and the other prioritizes education, then I'd imagine it'd be extremely difficult to find a satisfiable medium. If you have trouble prioritizing to begin with (i.e. the reason I surmise one might be having this dilemma), then I think it's less of an issue regarding balancing relationship and school.

Whenever that happens to me, (just like any time my emotions get in my way), I just convince myself to think real. As much as I love this girl, no school=no job=no money=no girl.
...or something of the sort.

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Speaking of which, why the hell do girls pick the worst time to have that talk to mutually break up? I HAVE FINALS TILL THE 22nd WOMAN!!
Ha! This happened to me in highschool. The girl I was seeing made us go on a "break" on the week of my provincial exams I needed for university application.
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Old 12-11-2009, 08:17 AM   #20
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lol what the fuck are you guys talking about.

if you can't juggle school and a relationship, HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO JUGGLE WORK AND A RELATIONSHIP!?!?. that's REAL life.

and unlike the academic life, you can't skip when you're ultra hung over/sick, and you usually have to work EVERYDAY. for 8 hours. or more. sure you probably won't have to study or do homework, but you know dragging your ass to work every morning on time after staying up late on RS/clubbing/video games and shit that is inevitably gonna happen makes going to work a lot harder than you think LOL.

if you can't juggle both, you're probably working really inefficiently or a workaholic, or both.

you can't prioritize one or the other, that's stupid. you do it day by day, week by week.

finals obviously prioritize over a night out with your SO.
your anniversary or their birthday, probably prioritizes over some studying.

use your heads, some shit can be skipped, some can't.

the worst thing is telling your SO that school is more important. no one likes to have school prioritized over them, even if they're not your SO. i mean unless it's a final or some really big thing.

if you have a really clingy SO, tell them to study with you, or just study at home, get them to watch their TV shows and you can study or do whatever else.

don't tell me you can't concentrate while at home or whatever. you should be able to concentrate anywhere you fucking are, if not, learn it, it's a life skill to be able to critically think in any situation anywhere, a life SAVING skill I should add.
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:12 AM   #21
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Depends on your major. If you're in Arts or Commerce and taking 4 courses a term and going to school 3-4 days a week for a couple of hours a day, of course if you have time. If you're in Engineering and have 7 courses every term and having 26h of class + labs every week.. HUGE difference. Then again, some people do need study time to do well, while others can do well without much effort.

I've seen people do crappy in school cuz of some chick, which imo means your priorities are in the wrong place. The chick won't get you a decent job or career after school, no matter how hot she is, unless her daddy knows someone.

Dating while working is INFINITELY easier than dating while in school. Why? You don't have homework and assignments tying you up in the evenings and weekends!

To the OP, I guess my advice is.. date if you want/can, but don't let it derail your schooling.
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Old 12-11-2009, 12:15 PM   #22
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i've met many classmates that have a husband and kids and going to full time school + extra lab time outside of classes......when school is over you got the kids to take care of and usually the ladies are stuck cooking and nurturing for the family PLUS having to find time to do the studying..... if you are dedicated to what you are studying and the SO is understanding of your priorities then anything can work.... and remember that no matter how busy you are, it's no excuse not to make time for your SO if you really care for the person. There's always ways to squeeze in time for one another
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Old 12-11-2009, 05:57 PM   #23
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Old 12-12-2009, 03:15 AM   #24
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Old 12-12-2009, 06:45 AM   #25
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lol what the fuck are you guys talking about.

if you can't juggle school and a relationship, HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO JUGGLE WORK AND A RELATIONSHIP!?!?. that's REAL life.

and unlike the academic life, you can't skip when you're ultra hung over/sick, and you usually have to work EVERYDAY. for 8 hours. or more. sure you probably won't have to study or do homework, but you know dragging your ass to work every morning on time after staying up late on RS/clubbing/video games and shit that is inevitably gonna happen makes going to work a lot harder than you think LOL.

if you can't juggle both, you're probably working really inefficiently or a workaholic, or both.

you can't prioritize one or the other, that's stupid. you do it day by day, week by week.

finals obviously prioritize over a night out with your SO.
your anniversary or their birthday, probably prioritizes over some studying.

use your heads, some shit can be skipped, some can't.

the worst thing is telling your SO that school is more important. no one likes to have school prioritized over them, even if they're not your SO. i mean unless it's a final or some really big thing.

if you have a really clingy SO, tell them to study with you, or just study at home, get them to watch their TV shows and you can study or do whatever else.

don't tell me you can't concentrate while at home or whatever. you should be able to concentrate anywhere you fucking are, if not, learn it, it's a life skill to be able to critically think in any situation anywhere, a life SAVING skill I should add.
girls = distraction.

don't need distractions and headaches while trying to get good grades/career in school.
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