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Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 02-03-2010, 12:44 AM   #26
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Quote:
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^^^
so are you saying that he should get married because of her parents?
marriage isn't for everyone and a lot of people nowadays don't find a need for it.
You should never do something for the sakes of pleasing other people.
TO THE OP: If you don't want to get married, for whatever reason you have, DON'T DO IT
just saying that she might be getting pressure and a lot of questions from her parents as well, which is why she brought up the marriage thing.

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Old 02-03-2010, 01:50 AM   #27
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^^^

1.
Take a step back and read it again. Now re-think for yourself and determine if it was something I was justifying, or something I was explaining.

2.
Didn't I say it is inadvertently selfish? You do know what I'm trying to imply right?

Do you think all selfish tendencies are borne out of ill will? Or do you believe there are unintentional selfishness's that only exists until one is made aware of it?



You've had good posts here before so I'm refraining to fail you. Unless you truly don't get it.


And no, I'm not single forever. I tried believe me. But I could only hold out until 27. I was hoping to reach 35.
Just because we all cant be saints; doesn't mean we should encourage the act of selfishness right?
You were right about the fact that a girl does not have as much options as a guy after the 30 mark. That would jusy make it that much more selfish if he leaves her after wasting 5 years of her time. And for his own sake,how can he be sure that he can find another girl that he can rely on if he doesn't put a ring on this one?
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Old 02-03-2010, 02:38 AM   #28
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If you don't want to get married, consult a lawyer. Since you have been together for a while and you have put her name on your main place of residence (rather dumb IMO), she is entitled to certain things if she leaves you, which might throw interesting curves to your life.

The law already sees you as married, so get used to it.

At this stage, if you value your "stable life" you don't have a choice.
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Old 02-03-2010, 03:07 AM   #29
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OP.....what about kids? Have you ever thought about having kids and a family together without being legally married?
What about kids? OP and his GF is common law married. Any kids will have the same rights and privileges as any married parents would in the eyes of the law. ie child support etc if they are separated.
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Old 02-03-2010, 03:10 AM   #30
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Been with for 5 years.
Lived with for 3 years.
She may leave you if you say No.
The answer is pretty clear. Suck it up and sign the papers.
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Old 02-03-2010, 03:32 AM   #31
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wow she is sacrificing all the things women want when they get married to be YOUR WIFE

you're a lucky son of a bitch

if you dont ever intend to get married then its now or never and let her go. if you've already been together 5 years and everything is good then the chances of marriage failing and slim.
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Old 02-03-2010, 03:40 AM   #32
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Look on the bright side:
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Old 02-03-2010, 04:58 AM   #33
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I also think she should leave you...yes, seriously.

You are a jerk. You deserve to stay single forever.
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Old 02-03-2010, 10:41 AM   #34
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Just sign the papers. Beside she isn't even asking for something fancy.

It seems that you want to leave your options open and see if you can find another person. If that's how you think then I don't think you deverse your gf and you should let her move on.
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Old 02-03-2010, 11:01 AM   #35
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Old 02-03-2010, 12:09 PM   #36
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I'm not sure it's worth it trying to convince the OP any further, imo, if he needs anything beyond what has already been said to be convinced then he just isn't feeling it. For whatever reason, he doesn't want to get married and he's holding back and if he decides to "just sign the papers" then he'll probably end up wasting even more of her time and end up divorcing later.
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Old 02-03-2010, 12:59 PM   #37
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You should stay out of this marriage.
Break up with her, let her take half your stuff, then send her my way. She sounds like a great girl with a good head on her shoulders. Good luck finding another one like her.
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Old 02-03-2010, 03:48 PM   #38
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sign the damn papers. dont be a pussy.
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Old 02-03-2010, 05:09 PM   #39
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my only question towards the OP is :

What happens if she does leave, and you regret it the moment you guys break up.

I bet there would be no worst feeling in the world.
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Old 02-09-2010, 04:34 PM   #40
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to OP:
i don't want to read TOO deeply but you date this girl 5 yr, moved in for 2 and she's hinting "if we don't get married, then you're not really satisifying her needs."

hold on a second, does that even sound right? I mean is that really logical? I really suggest you talk to her on why she is sort of pressuring you.

Girls, please keep in mind, you want a guy to WANT to marry you, not do it unwillingly. Why do girls keep hinting for these things, why do girls think pressuring men to do this is righteous?

Bottom line, marriage is a two way street, it's about compromise and if she is going to break up because she really needs to be married, ask her why she has these feeling of pressures.
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Old 02-13-2010, 02:32 PM   #41
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i just think that this is an obvious situation here for the OP and i do understand there can be a debate over the OP's freedom as well but really the pictures all drawn out, u either get it down and marry her or she just leaves, plain simple, she's making it so ez too, if i was u, ill sign it and bedone with it without worrying about anymore, unless you're cheating on her atm and can't take it right now to marry her...so basically sign or GTFO simple question and answer
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Old 02-16-2010, 07:29 PM   #42
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to OP:
i don't want to read TOO deeply but you date this girl 5 yr, moved in for 2 and she's hinting "if we don't get married, then you're not really satisifying her needs."

hold on a second, does that even sound right? I mean is that really logical? I really suggest you talk to her on why she is sort of pressuring you.

Girls, please keep in mind, you want a guy to WANT to marry you, not do it unwillingly. Why do girls keep hinting for these things, why do girls think pressuring men to do this is righteous?

Bottom line, marriage is a two way street, it's about compromise and if she is going to break up because she really needs to be married, ask her why she has these feeling of pressures.
I completely AGREE.... I hate it when you have done nothing wrong in a relationship, but being FORCED to do it.
Marriage is a bond that should be mutual by both parties. What would happen next if she decides that she wants a baby in 1 year and if you don't agree, she would leave you!
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Old 02-17-2010, 12:27 AM   #43
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uhh, if the OP has been WILLINGLY been with this girl for so long already, whats going to make any difference with the title of wife and husband and married after signing the papers? your lives will continue as it is. not to be negative or anything, it seems that you are reluctant and perhaps even finding an excuse not to be married to keep your options open since you aren't tied down.
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Old 02-17-2010, 02:31 PM   #44
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^^^ Alby, just because things will stay the same with nothing to lose does not justify to get married. Not getting married thinking the guy might be trying to keep this options open is also wrong too. Guys just don't want to get married cause it has never CROSSED his mind, having said that, it doesn't mean he wants to keep his options open.

Aside from "oh, nothing is going to change" is there any logical reason why girls want to get married? Wouldn't you want a guy to purpose to you and be super happy than you telling your gf "oh, we got married cause it was about time".

I feel for the men who has surrendered and I pity those girls thinking living together for 3 years now means we need to get married cause it's not going anywhere.
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Old 02-17-2010, 08:43 PM   #45
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before the woman signs the paper, she is normal but the second she lifts her pen from the papers... you will feel the sudden change.
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Old 02-18-2010, 02:21 PM   #46
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Guys just don't want to get married cause it has never CROSSED his mind, having said that, it doesn't mean he wants to keep his options open.
so now that it HAS CROSSED the OP's mind, whats keeping him from doing so?
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Old 02-18-2010, 06:01 PM   #47
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She feels that since we are like a married couple we might as well get married and that makes her happy. The way I see it is, since we do seem like we are practically married why sign the papers? I don't see any reason why I need to get married.
did you just give yourself the answer already in the first half of your own question???

isn't making the woman you love happy a good enough reason???
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Old 02-18-2010, 08:43 PM   #48
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I honestly read only the first comment's by the OP and have not read most of the responses. My question is why do you think getting married things will change?

People look as marriage being a big deal but its only signing a piece of paper thats all. Truthfully things shouldn't change at all, if you really love her whats the big deal just making her happy?

Being common law your already screwed so you may as well take the last step if you feel its right. I know most people think marriage is a big thing but really its just to let the bride have her day looking all pretty and shit infront of her close friends and family.

I'm lucky I have been with my g/f for 10 yrs being only 28 but even tho i'm not the marrying type (she doesn't want to get married thank god) if she really wanted to I would to make her happy since I love her to death and seeing her happy would put a smile on my face which would make it worth while.
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Old 02-24-2010, 03:08 PM   #49
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take a long look. do you see yourself with her for the rest of your lives? if you answered no, then you should walk away now and stop wasting everyone's time including yours.

OR

if you see yourselves sharing a future together,

BE A FUCKING MAN, AND SIGN THE PAPERS.

if you can get divorced, what difference will a piece of paper make to you? However it means the world to her. Marriage was made up by religious fanatics anyways
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Old 03-01-2010, 04:58 PM   #50
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so now that it HAS CROSSED the OP's mind, whats keeping him from doing so?
I'm not trying to argue, but seriously these 'maybe' possibilities are endless.

Chicks gets TONS of winks from FB, my space, POF, Lavalife etc flirts from random guys, hit on at every bar / club even when the girl is taken by a guy or engaged. Girls gets the same "better options" idea just as much (in fact, i believe girls gets hit on more).

The answer to "what keeps the OP from doing so". How girls are able to deal with it, is how men are able to deal with it.

Just cause options are available doesn't mean every guy(or the OP) is going to take advantage of it. Just cause a girl is able to date a way better guy than she deserves, doesn't mean she will.

You see two can play at these scenarios.

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take a long look. do you see yourself with her for the rest of your lives? if you answered no, then you should walk away now and stop wasting everyone's time including yours.

OR

if you see yourselves sharing a future together,

BE A FUCKING MAN, AND SIGN THE PAPERS.

if you can get divorced, what difference will a piece of paper make to you? However it means the world to her. Marriage was made up by religious fanatics anyways
wow, i don't know how to react to this. I would never give myself an ultimatum based on "can you see yourself sharing a future together." I think OP should ask the girl to stop wasting OP's time.

Yes he can be a MAN and sign the credit card for her just like how spending $ 4000 on a LV bag will mean the world to the girl doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

Marriage should be a proclamation to the world your love to one another and not a decision you do it "just cause it'll make her feel happy"

Falk, am I getting old to think logically or am I starting to be blurred to what the society has become and think the guy should give in and surrender?
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