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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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03-03-2010, 02:39 PM
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#51 | | Glorious Gaming PC Master Race
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its not about giving up and surrendering.
if you cant figure out if you wanna be with someone forever after a few years, there's something wrong.
otherwise you are stringing along a person who just happens to be there for your convenience.
if she expects marriage and you do not, you got a big problem.
above poster, you misunderstand me RE: sigining things. signing marriage papers IS a sign to a woman of your commitment to her (in front of god or whatever)
buying her a $4000 bag is a stupid sign of a gold digging materialistic person.
that said, a person shouldnt need to have a "document" to prove one another's love. it should be just so.
if u love her equally and want to put her mind at ease, just do it. love takes many forms.
if you dont know yet, and are wondering about all the fish in the sea. you're not ready.
frankly i find it an insult that someone would be with me but they are thinking that there is someone better out there waiting. better to be alone.
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03-24-2010, 01:16 AM
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#52 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Van-City!
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Just be a man and sign it already....
Believe me, chance like this only comes ONCE IN A LIFETIME.
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03-25-2010, 03:01 AM
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#53 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Richmond
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technically you guys are married already by common law...
maybe tell her that?
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03-25-2010, 04:22 AM
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#54 | | I keep RS good
Join Date: May 2001 Location: Cosmos
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so what the fuck happened? are you married or what?
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04-02-2010, 12:15 AM
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#55 | | 14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: EastVAN
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Originally Posted by 6793026 
Marriage should be a proclamation to the world your love to one another
| Exactly!!! So I am guessing the OP is thinking twice about her.
IF he is not ready to proclaim to the world...then let her go!!!!
Anyways, that's why women in their 20's should go out with men in 30's. maturity level is very different between men and women.
No matter what you do with men in their 20's...they are not ready yet.
It is very common.
And what's the latest news? Married or not married yet?
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04-04-2010, 05:58 AM
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#56 | | Marcosexual Fan Club, CEO
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: US Bush-country
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Don't do it, man! Don't do it!
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04-04-2010, 09:11 AM
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#57 | | No Duplicate Accounts Allowed
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Car
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Do you want kids? Does she want kids? Do you want to live the rest of your life with her like this? Unmarried and no kids? Or do you, at the back of your mind, know that you don't want to be with her forever?
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04-04-2010, 12:23 PM
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#58 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Burnaby
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Don't listen to these guys, you only have one life to live, if you don't feel comfortable getting married, than don't do it.
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04-07-2010, 12:31 AM
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#59 | | Oh goodie, 5 posts already!
Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Vancouver
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I know an acquaintance who lived with her boyfriend for 10 years. Like common law. She asked him for the marriage. He said no and just moved out. 10 years of wasted life. She's in her 40's and her options are much worse than if she was younger.
I recommend you marry her now or let her go.
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04-07-2010, 06:52 AM
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#60 | | Zombie Mod
Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Langley
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^^^
My sister is in a similar situation. She's been going out with her bf for 7 years, and they have lived together for 5. She's been wanting to get married for awhile, and it boiled over a few weeks ago, and he moved out. They want to work things out, but at this point she doesn't want to waste any more time. Get married or get lost. She's in her late 20s, so it's not too late for her.
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04-07-2010, 12:00 PM
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#61 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Vancity
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^ I agree with Presto...
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04-09-2010, 11:00 AM
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#62 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
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^^ Presto, what a great example. the girl wanted something, the guy couldn't give it, the girl moved out. Plan and simple.
what I don't understand is, wtf is wrong with girls looking JUST to get married. What happened to just finding the right guy and go on from there. It seems like it's their GOAL in life. Having said that, like the OP, if you are not ready to do something, don't do it.
From a girls' perspective, what I don't understand is what went wrong? Your BF doesnt' want to get married, i get it. But what's the reasoning behind it? Give us an insight. Was teh guy 22 and you're 28 and he's just not ready? was he living at home being 25 with no job and you're 21 hoping to 'just get married', was it financial, family or something else?
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04-11-2010, 10:56 PM
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#63 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Apr 2001
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Originally Posted by 6793026 what I don't understand is, wtf is wrong with girls looking JUST to get married. What happened to just finding the right guy and go on from there. It seems like it's their GOAL in life. Having said that, like the OP, if you are not ready to do something, don't do it. | For most women, their primary goal in life is to get married. Biology has something to do with it (i.e. they're "programmed" to have babies) and also, society puts an incredible amount of pressure on women to get married.
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04-15-2010, 11:56 AM
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#64 | | I keep RS good
Join Date: May 2001 Location: Cosmos
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Originally Posted by 6793026 ^^ Presto, what a great example. the girl wanted something, the guy couldn't give it, the girl moved out. Plan and simple.
what I don't understand is, wtf is wrong with girls looking JUST to get married. What happened to just finding the right guy and go on from there. It seems like it's their GOAL in life. Having said that, like the OP, if you are not ready to do something, don't do it.
From a girls' perspective, what I don't understand is what went wrong? Your BF doesnt' want to get married, i get it. But what's the reasoning behind it? Give us an insight. Was teh guy 22 and you're 28 and he's just not ready? was he living at home being 25 with no job and you're 21 hoping to 'just get married', was it financial, family or something else? | Quote:
Originally Posted by Tapioca For most women, their primary goal in life is to get married. Biology has something to do with it (i.e. they're "programmed" to have babies) and also, society puts an incredible amount of pressure on women to get married. | I have come to understand, that we cannot understand why they want to get married so badly, but it is something similar to what tapioca said.
vice versa... women will never understand why we want to have sex all the time so badly.
their urge to get married, is probably just as heavy as our urge to have sex.
it's a fair trade off I think. you only need to really get married once, but we get to have sex a lot. we win.
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04-15-2010, 01:30 PM
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#65 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Montreal
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Originally Posted by hillmar I completely AGREE.... I hate it when you have done nothing wrong in a relationship, but being FORCED to do it.
Marriage is a bond that should be mutual by both parties. What would happen next if she decides that she wants a baby in 1 year and if you don't agree, she would leave you! | That's why you discuss life questions like this before you get married. Any person that wants to spend the rest of their life with you, will already have some idea in his/her mind.
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04-24-2010, 11:26 AM
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#66 | | I STILL don't get it
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Vancity
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Just something to keep in mind
I took a Sociology of the Family course just to finish some elective credits to graduate, and one surprising fact I learnt, is that according to research and statistics from pretty much everywhere, risk of divorce exponentially increases after cohabitation.
It didn't make much sense to me at the time, but honestly, if marriage was something you deep down wanted to do, you would've done it already.
Don't marry someone just because they want to. And don't be selfish in trying to keep someone around who wants something completely different from you. Fact of the matter is, it's not about, "we're practically married anyways, why should it matter if we're married", it's about the simple fact that she wants something you don't. Marriage is still something many people value, and many times cohabitation is treated as a lead in to marriage, but it's not, people who want to cohabitate usually only want to cohabitate and people who want to marry want to marry. Most of the time, couples who cohabitate, one expects marriage and one thinks that cohabitation is enough. The fact that cohabitation is treated in the media and what not so casually and a normal part of a relationship really fucks shit up. People don't realize that to some people, cohabiation is a life choice (like marriage) and not a checkpoint towards marriage, hence the high divorce rates when marriage is forced, which it usually is with cohabitating couples
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04-24-2010, 04:51 PM
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#67 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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^good post /end thread
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04-24-2010, 09:06 PM
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#68 | | Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: .
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Originally Posted by asian_XL I also think she should leave you...yes, seriously.
You are a jerk. You deserve to stay single forever. | Agreed Posted via RS Mobile | |
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04-24-2010, 09:07 PM
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#69 | | Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: .
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Originally Posted by Turbo E take a long look. do you see yourself with her for the rest of your lives? if you answered no, then you should walk away now and stop wasting everyone's time including yours.
OR
if you see yourselves sharing a future together,
BE A FUCKING MAN, AND SIGN THE PAPERS.
if you can get divorced, what difference will a piece of paper make to you? However it means the world to her. Marriage was made up by religious fanatics anyways | Agree with this guy too Posted via RS Mobile | |
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04-29-2010, 01:59 PM
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#70 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: BC, HK, USA
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If you surrender, you'll never be happy. It's be a decision you'll think again and again and question why you made it.
Make the marriage decision WHEN you are ready and should never be given an ultimatum.
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04-29-2010, 02:03 PM
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#71 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: vancouver
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Originally Posted by Presto It doesn't get any easier than this. No big wedding. No planning stress. No big-ass rock. All you gotta do is agree, and it's done with minimal effort. If you love her, and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, then there aren't many answers other than yes. If not, then stop wasting her time and get out.
I only wish it was that easy!! | I agree.... my girlfriend wants a rock, and a wedding...... 30 is just a stone's throw away for me....
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