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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 03-03-2010, 10:03 AM   #1
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Please Help - Would you Decline Acceptance to a School for you Girlfriend?

Guys,

I honestly feel really messed up right now.
I just found out today that I got accepted to a Chiropractic school in Toronto... (It is the only Chiropractic school in Canada, so I couldn't apply anywhere else...)

The school starts in August of this year.
It is a four year program and at the end of the four years I get the designation of a Doctor...

I've been with my girlfriend for 6.5 years now. I love her to death. And I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. A long distance relationship will not work. I don't think it will work for anyone. 4 years is just way to long. 2 years maybe? 1 year maybe... but not 4 years...

My only other option is a local nursing program. I have not been accepted yet but I sent my application as a back up. At least with this local nursing position I can stay in Vancouver, stay with my gf, and everything would be fine.

Personally, being a nurse seems fine with me and the pay/benefits are great. And the job security is amazing... And to be honest, if i were to become a nurse I would probably specialize anyways... So in theory I could be making just as much if I became a Chiropractor. My parents would flip. I didn't even tell them I applied to nursing school. And I dont' want to have any regrets about this Chiropractic thing..

The Chiropractic program will cost $100k.. whereas the nursing program would probably cost half of that.

I'm not sure if this is relevant or not.. maybe it is? I'm 22 years old, turning 23 in October...

I have this really bad feeling in my stomach right now. It is honestly sickening. I also get really really really home sick. I was in Europe for a little over a month and I remember getting sick to my stomach because I missed Vancouver, my house, my friends, my family. I think i'm a momma's boy?

Can you please give me any insights or information or anything... because honestly, right now, I don't want to tell my friends or family that I got accepted.. and I don't want to tell my gf either..
Thanks RevScene. I really appreciate it...

update
Hey guys,

Thanks a lot for your replies. Your feedback was great and I really appreciate it. I wish I had enough thank you's to go around.

I've decided to accept the offer for schooling in Toronto. We are going to try the LD thing. And she said she would move down with me after her program is over. As there are lots of opportunities back east anyways.

Now, I just need to find a place to stay and off we go.

Thanks again RS!


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Old 03-03-2010, 10:18 AM   #2
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:27 AM   #3
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^ +1

It will all make sense in the end.

What are her dreams? Maybe you can both move to TO...
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:39 AM   #4
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First ask yourself whether you really want to be a chiropractor or not...why did you apply in the first place if you hadn't thought about this before? Perhaps a part of you does want to pursue this dream... But if you don't feel that you have what it takes to move away and pursue your dream then maybe you weren't meant for it... Perhaps you will be very content staying here. If I was your gf, I would want my bf to go and achieve his dreams..even if it will jeopardize the relationship. I wouldn't want my bf to have regrets and blame me down the road. Obviously everyone is different so in the end it really is what your heart desires.
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:43 AM   #5
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Why cant you bring her with you?
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:46 AM   #6
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If being a Chiropractor is what you want then you should do it and the people around should understand if they really care for ya

however you gotta take into consideration that being home sick, away from your gf and just totally self dependent is something you can deal with and won't be too distracted from your schooling otherwise it would be a waste to go
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:46 AM   #7
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have you shared your Dr. dreams with the gf? If she is an understanding gf, she would understand your situation. Sure you are gone for 4 years; however you can visit her every semester for atleast a couple of days. If she is all up in your face about you leaving to better your self (and to better the life of the two of you in the future) then maybe its time to re-think the relationship.
> that is my serious comment.


>now for my non relavent comment:
chiropractors are not real doctors - do you not watch two and a half men?
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:47 AM   #8
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What are your GF's plans? What is keeping her here that prevents her from going to Toronto with you?

Do you want to be a Chiropractor, or is it something you parents want you to do? If you have a desire to be a Chiropractor, then don't try to justify nursing as a viable alternative, unless it's something you're really interested in. You're choosing a career, not getting a summer job. If you decide to go nursing, will you be able to perform in that role without regretting the decision to turn down the opportunity? Look out, because you'll end up grumbling about your GF, while you're changing bed pans, and how it's her fault that your not running your own back-cracking practice.
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Old 03-03-2010, 11:35 AM   #9
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Maybe you should have a talk with your gf first.. None of us know her. Maybe she'll be supportive and tell you to go, maybe she wont.

I say go for it, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. Do it now while you're young
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:07 PM   #10
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:46 PM   #11
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It's a no brainer. Go to Toronto.

Just take flights back once in awhile. Just LD relationship it. 4 years go by like nothing.
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:46 PM   #12
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Sounds like YOU cant handle a long distance relationship, not her. and you do sound a momma's boy at age 22. You'll miss home but that feeling dies once youa adapt to Toronto. You're not at the age to settle down nor is it the best time to think "she's the one". How old is she? I wonder if she's willing to gamble her good luck for you as well.

You got into the only chiropractor school in Canada, I think that's a great accomplishment. It also sounds like it's hard to get in. This is quite the opportunity.
Despite the fact that nursing is a good occuptation, a Doctor will always be > Nurse. You would be specializing anyways and there are more career points for being a doctor.
If she is the one, then I hope she feels the same about you and is willing to work through the whole long distance thing. Given your age and potential, relying on your only basket of eggs (your gf) doesnt sound like a bright choice.
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Old 03-03-2010, 01:38 PM   #13
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I don't really know what I want...
I applied because I thought it would be cool to become a chiropractor.
I want to work in the health field and or rehab therapy setting.

My gf is in UBCs 2 year teaching program and is currently in her first year of the program.
We have talke about it but we put it off. And both of us don't think long distance will work.

I have until April 16 to decide otherwise they give my spot away.
I know the right decision would be to just go but there is something else telling me not to.
And I don't think it is my gf. I mean I would like to stay for my gf but there is something else telling me that I shouldn't go?
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Old 03-03-2010, 01:40 PM   #14
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And my gf is still in school For another year so even if she wanted to, she couldn't move to TO with me until a year after... And I don't think she wants to. She wants to move somewhere warm. She hates the weather in van. Not that I can blame her. I'm not a fan of TO either.
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:03 PM   #15
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I heard the education system is better in T.O.

I'd really think about going to school in Toronto with/without your girlfriend. It's an amazing chance for you, and plus Nursing school is really hard to get into i hear these days no?

Anyways, it may be a hard choice, but following your dreams is never easy.

Why don't you get engaged or something before you go
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:51 PM   #16
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Man if you stay for nursing and you guys break up you will hate yourself. I say go to tdot, have fun and party lots. If you guys workout then it was meant to be.
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:11 PM   #17
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I don't really know what I want...
I applied because I thought it would be cool to become a chiropractor.
I want to work in the health field and or rehab therapy setting.

My gf is in UBCs 2 year teaching program and is currently in her first year of the program.
We have talke about it but we put it off. And both of us don't think long distance will work.

I have until April 16 to decide otherwise they give my spot away.
I know the right decision would be to just go but there is something else telling me not to.
And I don't think it is my gf. I mean I would like to stay for my gf but there is something else telling me that I shouldn't go?
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Why is going the right decision?
If you want to marry this girl then maybe you should be thinking about her and not you.
Life is always a gamble and your scared she might not be into you as much as you are her. Sticking around, might come up short in the long run for you, is what's the core problem here. Am I correct?
If you were %100 sure of her undying devotion towards you then you'd be doing the nursing gig so she could finish her schooling
What I'm trying to get at is, properly evaluate your relationship with her then evaluate your schooling. If she is to you who you say she is then you'll be spending a lifetime with her and I think that's more important then being a Doctor or a Nurse.
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:48 PM   #18
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how would you like to wake up every morning and see the face of the person you gave up your dreams for?

ok so she's in a 2 yr program, that means she can finish and move to where u are for 2 years. thats one possibility. thats only 2 yrs apart. you can make it work. its hard but it can b done.

after that the sky's the limit. you can afford to live anywhere, for the rest of your lives. 2 years isnt too much of a trade off right?

you can set up your practice anywhere. likewise with her teaching. suffer now, reap the rewards later.
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:50 PM   #19
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I would say, do what one of the guys I went to college with did: His wife got her degree(I think) then he got his diploma, now they're in Toronto while she gets her masters, then he's going for a bridge into his degree.

Who says you have to go this year? I would say if long distance really can't work and you're unsure which one you should do, take a year off and decide (during that year, live on your own and such). Then she can finish her schooling, and is free to go with you whatever you decide to do.

But from the sounds of it, I think you should go to Toronto and start this, and she can come out and join you in a year (not that long). If she refuses to go to Toronto to be with you for 3 years after what will then be 7.5-8 years, then I'm sorry but she really doesn't love you very much and you might want to think about moving on.
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Old 03-03-2010, 04:45 PM   #20
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I'm assuming first gf, 1st great relationship and this is probably the first big decision you have to make. you're freaking 22 and chasing after your career. It's time to realize life is a lot more than just a gf. You can find gfs anywhere, yet you will not have the opportunity of a lifetime to chase after your dreams.

sorry bud, but 9/10 guys here agrees you need to take the high road and leave. when you get to your 30s, you'll realize sometimes you have to take a step back in order to move forward. The could've should've, would've are just in the fond memories to cherish when you're alone.
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Old 03-03-2010, 05:03 PM   #21
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you're 22 and been with her for 6 or so years. first love and sad to say it most likely wont last bud. ppl grow up and change and the person then isnt the person you originally knew

follow your dreams .. ps: chiropracters arent real doctors :P
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Old 03-03-2010, 05:20 PM   #22
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go to the school..shit won't last
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Old 03-03-2010, 05:34 PM   #23
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you're 22 and been with her for 6 or so years. first love and sad to say it most likely wont last bud. ppl grow up and change and the person then isnt the person you originally knew

follow your dreams .. ps: chiropracters arent real doctors :P
yeah, she was my 4th girlfriend. But, the 3 before her weren't really serious...
but i'm really happy with her. and i love her to death.

and yes, a Chiropractor technically isn't really a Doctor.. but you still get the designation which is nice =)

Thank you guys so much for your responses. My head is a little bit clearer.
I'll definitely post what I decide when the time comes.

but, feel free to keep on posting as i'm not 100% on anything.
Thanks again!
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Old 03-03-2010, 05:48 PM   #24
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Follow your dream and go to TO. Everything will be fine if both of you guys put effort into this LD relationship.
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Old 03-03-2010, 06:00 PM   #25
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For many of the reasons posted above, I say go to TO.
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