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Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 04-30-2010, 03:21 AM   #1
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Would you date a girl who has been unfaithful in the past?

I've been dating a girl for a few months now the whole thing of 'cheating' came up a few weeks ago. I asked her if she had, and she said when she was with her ex she made out with another guy. She told her ex right after away and they worked through things and were together for the next 3 years.

Faithfulness is one of my most important things in a relationship and it has bothered me ever since she told me.

Should I be able look past this or should I hold true to the old mantra "once a cheater, always a cheater"?

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Old 04-30-2010, 08:00 AM   #2
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People change. Do you believe once a murderer always a murder, or once a druggie or alcoholic always a druggie or alcoholic? I would talk to her about it if it bothers you so she knows and you guys can work through it together. Don't let it linger or hold it against her.
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Old 04-30-2010, 09:18 AM   #3
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Well, at least she's honest. Some people change, but others go back to their habits.

I think I'd give her a chance, unless she has a history of cheating...

This one's tough - in the back of your mind you will always be suspicious. Have you cheated or been cheated on before?
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Old 04-30-2010, 09:24 AM   #4
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If you really like her, I think you should look past this...ppl make mistakes, and hopefully she learned from hers. Would you want ppl to judge you based on your past mistakes? Some people wouldnt even consider making out with another guy cheating..

I think its good that she told her bf about it, u dont want to be with a girl who will hide things from you.

Also make sure you fuck her enough so she doesnt go mess around with another guy
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:00 PM   #5
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^I agree with this guy. Dont hold her past against her
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:14 PM   #6
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:58 PM   #7
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Old 04-30-2010, 02:00 PM   #8
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^I agree with this guy. Dont hold her past against her
good call coach
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Old 04-30-2010, 02:41 PM   #9
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Ohh no she made out with another dude.
Ask her why she did it and look for an honest answer if it really bothers you. Maybe there was a reason, other then being drunk. If she can't keep to herself when shes drunk then get out before you get hurt.
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Old 04-30-2010, 04:01 PM   #10
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let be gone be gone and focus on the present moment ...

imo, as long as she puts out, I am fine with anything ...
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Old 04-30-2010, 04:14 PM   #11
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if you even have tho think about this, then it means that you DO mind it and it really bothers you... then though you try to work past this, you will still think about this and you will always wunder if she is cheating on you or not... and this would lead you to do things you dont want to, like checking up on her, asking her friends and so on... if it doesnt bother you then you WOULD NOT be asking RS people for advice

to be honest, since you are asking question, i would say that you should not be dating this person. but thats my opinion... maybe you might can deal with this better, i dont know.
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Old 04-30-2010, 04:31 PM   #12
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You'll NEVER be able to forget about it, her past is part of who she is.

Does that mean the relationship is unworkable? No. The real issue is you, if you don't think you'll ever be able to trust her then it's not worth the stress.
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Old 04-30-2010, 06:27 PM   #13
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i think you should give her a chance. i mean she told you the truth instead of hiding it from you.
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:23 PM   #14
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been there done that. didn't work for me. couldn't trust fully.
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Old 04-30-2010, 08:05 PM   #15
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i would. dating is just dating...
i'm not big on relationships anyway.
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Old 04-30-2010, 09:47 PM   #16
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past is the past, let it go

how old is this girl? if she is over 20, i think she should have matured and be more serious compared to like a teenager who is playing around
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:36 AM   #17
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I've been dating a girl for a few months now the whole thing of 'cheating' came up a few weeks ago. I asked her if she had, and she said when she was with her ex she made out with another guy. She told her ex right after away and they worked through things and were together for the next 3 years.

Faithfulness is one of my most important things in a relationship and it has bothered me ever since she told me.

Should I be able look past this or should I hold true to the old mantra "once a cheater, always a cheater"?
Jeez this is nothing. Seriously. Don't lose someone over something so trivial.
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:14 PM   #18
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she just made out with a guy and she told her ex right away I dont see a problem, and she was honest to you about it when she did not have to. I think the real problem here is you. If you feel that this is going to put a damper on your relationship with her than just let her know maybe you two were not meant to be. If you really like her im sure you can work this out.
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Old 05-01-2010, 02:02 PM   #19
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once a cheater always a cheater..might just take you 20 years to find that out
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Old 05-01-2010, 09:33 PM   #20
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people cheat just because the one he/she is going out with isn't good enough.

it seems like you have to work 2x harder to keep this girl faithful in the future.
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Old 05-03-2010, 01:24 PM   #21
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This is why I don't ask these sensitive questions, it changes your view on the person. If you're happy with the girl at that very moment, fuck it. Nothing else matters, just enjoy each others company. That being said, don't be the arrogant fool that doesn't know what she's doing behind your back.

Stop being nostalgic and look forward.
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Old 05-03-2010, 02:10 PM   #22
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There is no simple answer to why people cheat, it could be a combination of many factors, the majority of them being about communication, also lack of support - whether it be emotional, security, understanding, etc...

I would ask what her reason was, then you can be a better judge of whether you should date her or not.
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Old 05-03-2010, 06:19 PM   #23
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I doubt she just made out with the other guy. Maybe I'm a little jaded from seeing too many girls cheat on their boyfriends, but it seems like it rarely stops at that. I personally wouldn't care as much about the cheating, but more about the potential of her downplaying what possibly happened. Even then, like other people said, people change. If I had a daughter I would not want her with a guy like me when I was younger, but don't mind how I have turned out now. I would just look past it and keep on living.
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Old 05-03-2010, 07:13 PM   #24
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There is no simple answer to why people cheat, it could be a combination of many factors, the majority of them being about communication, also lack of support - whether it be emotional, security, understanding, etc...

I would ask what her reason was, then you can be a better judge of whether you should date her or not.
I totally disagree, there IS a simple answer, and it's selfishness. I don't buy any of that bs about lack of communication, support, etc. If that was the case, either talk it out, work it out, or dump them. Plain and simple, people who cheat are selfish and really don't give two shits about anyone else. Even if they're just "getting back" at their cheating s.o., why sink to their level? It takes a lot of disregard and disrespect to completely abuse and betray someone's trust in you, and knowingly destroying their manhood/ making them feel like trash not worth keep your commitment for in the process.

Having said that, people change and relationships can only succeed with trust, so if you're not capable of trusting her after this, don't bother. And if she ever does cheat on you, don't be surprised, people change, but many don't.
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Old 05-04-2010, 07:30 AM   #25
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I totally disagree, there IS a simple answer, and it's selfishness. I don't buy any of that bs about lack of communication, support, etc. If that was the case, either talk it out, work it out, or dump them. Plain and simple, people who cheat are selfish and really don't give two shits about anyone else. Even if they're just "getting back" at their cheating s.o., why sink to their level? It takes a lot of disregard and disrespect to completely abuse and betray someone's trust in you, and knowingly destroying their manhood/ making them feel like trash not worth keep your commitment for in the process.

Having said that, people change and relationships can only succeed with trust, so if you're not capable of trusting her after this, don't bother. And if she ever does cheat on you, don't be surprised, people change, but many don't.
I agree that it is selfish, and they should talk it out, work it out, or dump them.

Usually there are underlying issues that I mentioned, and most think if the other isnt doing what they want than they can cheat and blame it on them. Or they're just lazy and want a quick breakup
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