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The thin line between love and hate
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Old 07-16-2010, 08:06 AM   #26
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Last edited by BallPeenHammer2; 07-16-2010 at 08:14 AM.
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Old 07-16-2010, 08:12 AM   #27
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The following is an Anonymous submission by an Anonymous Revscene member. If the member would like me to reply to any post please feel free to let me know


So long story short. I'm co-hosting a party with my friend[Girl A]. We've invited a bunch of friends, including my buddy and his gf[Girl B]. Girl A is my buddy's ex., they've broken up now for about 5-6yrs. I'm really good friends with Girl A and we decided to have this party to just have fun and stuff.

The situation...

Girl B is super pissed that I invited her and my buddy to the party. She is pissed on the fact that Girl A will be there, as she "hates" the shit out of her. As I recall, Girl A didn't do shit to Girl B, but Girl B just hates the shit out of her. Girl B thinks I'm trying to set up my buddy and Girl A back together. But all I'm trying to do is to get people to come and have fun. Now Girl B is making something so small seem like its the end of the world.

Its up to the point that Girl B wants my buddy to end the friendship with me over this party. Apparently she is "that pissed". They already said they won't be coming to the party, yet Girl B is still choked out of her mind over this.

I've talked to some of my buddies about this and they all think she is totally stupid and harsh unreasonable.

Your thoughts?
As the OP states: BOTH girl B and the b/f was invited. Not just the b/f. They don't wanna go 'cuz she's uncomfortable? fine, it's ok.

next part: Girl B thinks OP's trying to set up b/f and girl A. Seriously. If they both go, WHO would be stupid enough to do that AT the party?

last but not least: I find it a little extreme for Girl B to want the b/f to end the friendship with the OP.

Either something's already happened that the OP has not been honest about, or Girl B needs to have her head a good shakin.

I've been in similar situations before, and if the g/f's not comfortable, then we don't go. But if they ever flip out like the way Girl B seems to be, I show'em the door. If nothing's happend with the OP and this little circle here, then Girl B's got some serious issues, and needs to grow the fuck up.
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Old 07-16-2010, 01:36 PM   #28
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next part: Girl B thinks OP's trying to set up b/f and girl A. Seriously. If they both go, WHO would be stupid enough to do that AT the party?
depends on the party. is this a goody to shoes party serving pop and oj or is their mixed drinks going around? stupid shit can happen when people are drunk.
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Old 07-16-2010, 04:31 PM   #29
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if Girl B have confident in her relationship with her BF and trust him then she have nothing worry about.

Girl B is just being jealous, selfish, trust issue. I say tell you buddy he can chose between you and her. Is either Bros before Hoes and Hoes before Bros.
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Old 07-16-2010, 04:44 PM   #30
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Girl B has to grow up.
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Old 07-16-2010, 06:39 PM   #31
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Some of you are forgetting the rules in this forum. I've issued more points in here today than I have in the last six months total
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Old 07-16-2010, 06:39 PM   #32
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The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

Both Girl A & B are 24. Yes I know its hard to believe...

I've tried telling my buddy to tell Girl B to just give Girl A a chance. Just come say "hi, how's it going", but apparently Girl B does not want to see Girl A nor hear her name. Girl B doesn't even want her as an acquaintance.

Yeah I don't see whats the big idea. If she doesn't want to come, then don't come. Don't need to make it seem like its the end of the world.
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Old 07-16-2010, 07:35 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by El Bastardo View Post
The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

Both Girl A & B are 24. Yes I know its hard to believe...

I've tried telling my buddy to tell Girl B to just give Girl A a chance. Just come say "hi, how's it going", but apparently Girl B does not want to see Girl A nor hear her name. Girl B doesn't even want her as an acquaintance.

Yeah I don't see whats the big idea. If she doesn't want to come, then don't come. Don't need to make it seem like its the end of the world.
Then there's something either you're not telling us, or something Girl A is not telling you. As of now, it's hard to buy your facts of: Nothing happened other than the relationship ended years ago. I say this because to dislike a person, all you need is prejudice. However, to hate a person to that extent, something must have happened.

Although one thing is already definite: that the past relationship with between the BF and Girl A is a "sensitive issue." As an outsider to their relationship, you have to respect their private boundaries and sensitivities.

Last edited by Noir; 07-17-2010 at 06:53 PM. Reason: grammar
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Old 07-16-2010, 08:58 PM   #34
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buddy should have 'work' on party day and get it on with girl a - and send the video to girl b.


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Old 07-17-2010, 12:32 AM   #35
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tell buddy and girl B that girl A isn't going to the party, but secretly invite girl A anyways
grab some popcorn
enjoy the show
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Old 07-17-2010, 09:13 AM   #36
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OP: I think your buddy needs to rethink things here a bit.

Or re-communicate with girl B. I agree with Noir in that Girl B and Girl A may have something between them that they're not communicating.

HOWEVER, apparently, according to you, Girl B doesn't even know Girl A's NAME?

Anyhoo. If this is simply a jealousy issue (I've seen way bigger blowouts for much much less), then your buddy should seriously consider getting another g/f.

No one should have to stand for jealousy of this level.
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Old 07-17-2010, 10:27 AM   #37
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I agree with Noir that OP should've asked the friend's opinion before inviting both the ex and current.

although 5-6 years if a pretty long time, especially if that A girl thing happened before 20.
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Old 07-17-2010, 07:46 PM   #38
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The following is a reply from the Anonymous member


For the record, I did ask Girl A if she's ok if I invite my buddy and Girl B. She said yes. Then I asked my buddy if he wants to come, he said he doesn't mind and will ask Girl B.

I don't even know all the reasons why Girl B hates Girl A so much. It seems like its mainly jealously. Honestly Girl A didn't do anything to Girl B. More like the other way around.

Seems like some of you guys think I'm hiding stuff. I'm not hiding anything. I'm just putting up whatever I've been told by my buddy.
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Old 07-18-2010, 12:09 AM   #39
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^Girl B has to chill, how long has Girl B and your buddy being going out for?

Anyways, just like most people said here...they've been broken up for 5-6 years...i broke up with my ex for like a year and we talk still, we don't hang very much but we're still friends. Girl B is just being selfish and hell jealous. If she can't chill out then it's her problem and your buddy should be asking himself why he is with her...girls like that are kinda annoying, but understandable at times. When I say understandable i mean she can be jealous obviously, but to a certain point...ending friendships? wtf? does she not know the saying "bros b4 ...."
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Old 07-18-2010, 12:59 AM   #40
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For the record, I did ask Girl A if she's ok if I invite my buddy and Girl B. She said yes. Then I asked my buddy if he wants to come, he said he doesn't mind and will ask Girl B.

I don't even know all the reasons why Girl B hates Girl A so much. It seems like its mainly jealously. Honestly Girl A didn't do anything to Girl B. More like the other way around.

Seems like some of you guys think I'm hiding stuff. I'm not hiding anything. I'm just putting up whatever I've been told by my buddy.
1. I'm not just saying you're hiding something. I'm also saying that if it's not you, your friend [Girl A] is. You have to take into account the possibility that Girl A will not be entirely truthful to you because by nature, nobody will say anything incriminating of themselves. If you ask Girl B or her friends on the other hand, I'm sure you'll get more out of them than Girl A.

I've already posted my reasoning: It only takes prejudice to dislike someone, but to HATE someone to the extent that you don't want to be in the presence of, or even hear their name, more-likely-than-not something must have occurred.



And a few more points not just to you, but everyone as well.

2. Jealousy is inherent in ALL relationships and must be respected. Relationships are a party of two and is a combining of two individuals who have two different tolerances and boundary limits. That being said, playing the "Trust Card" is not a free pass for 1 party in the relationship to do whatever they want.

When one enters a relationship, its sort of an agreement to comply with rules and limits to endorse and maintain the exclusivity of the relationship. In other words, anyone who enters a relationship should know that there are certain liberties that you will be sacrificing and those liberties are determined by the relationship that you have chosen to enter.

If one is not prepared to compromise on one's liberties, then maybe relationships aren't for you just yet; and there's also nothing wrong with that.


3. For people saying it was 5 - 6 years ago; let's not underestimate the power of nostalgia. I've been there, and I've seen it happen on others.

I'm not saying that Girl A is looking for a do-over with the exbf. But as nostalgia sometimes has a way of unburying things that have long since been buried, an innocent rekindling of memories can sometimes rekindle more than that. This is usually the reason why partners of a current relationship have their reservations on their gf/bf beginning or continuing contact with an ex.


4. That being said, if Girl B is being protective of her relationship due to point 3, she is well within her rights as a party to that relationship to protect it; just like our inherent right to protect our own relationships.

I know if I enter a relationship, I expect some measure of control on my women and in turn, they too have a measure of control on me. This reciprocity is also inherent to all healthy relationships as the act-of-submission is one of the integral displays of relationship exclusivity.

(Note: I know the last point may offend the egos of alpha dogs out there who think they cannot be controlled by anyone: the authorities, their parents, their women)





So all-in-all, my take is still: Let it go. It is not your relationship to stress over. And respect the boundaries and sensitivites of the relationship of others. Unless Girl A did have intentions with the exbf, you're party will not live-or-die by the exbfs attendance or absence.

Last edited by Noir; 07-18-2010 at 01:18 AM.
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Old 07-18-2010, 09:49 PM   #41
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just over reacting a little
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Old 07-29-2010, 11:04 PM   #42
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Girl B just needs to get over it.
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Old 07-29-2010, 11:10 PM   #43
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Old 08-06-2010, 02:28 AM   #44
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I don't see the problem with the way the invites were done, but that's just me. An ex from 5-6 years ago should just be a friend by now anyways.

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That's cause this Girl B sounds mental.
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Old 08-10-2010, 06:57 PM   #45
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Girl A must be a 10 and Girl B a 1 to cause such insecurity.

Unless Girl A and the bf are still close and it seems like the bf's got interest in her again.


That's just silly.
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Old 08-12-2010, 11:38 AM   #46
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um, you're hosting the party, both Girls are your friends. no one is forcing either to come. not your problem.
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Old 08-15-2010, 07:20 PM   #47
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girl b and bf just don't go to the party, and let you guys have your own fun. problem solved?
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:55 PM   #48
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I think the biggest problem here is that Girl B wants her buddy to END THE FRIENDSHIP between the OP and him.

Over this whole party thing.

And now OP's buddy's in a tight spot over something that isn't even a deal
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Old 08-15-2010, 11:50 PM   #49
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Invite Girl A, your buddy and Girl B.

If Girl B has such a big problem with it, she doesn't have to go. If she tries to convince your buddy not to go, that's on him.

OR

Invite Girl A and your buddy and tell Girl B she's not invited cause she's an insecure, drama queen and you don't want to be around that shit.

My guess is that if the two girls have never had any real contact, Girl B has a problem with her BF being on good term with his ex. Hell, maybe they got into a fight and he mentioned how Girl A never pulled that shit or whatever and got her all jealous and bitter.
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Old 08-15-2010, 11:55 PM   #50
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yo its been a month im sure the party has came and gone
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