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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 12-03-2010, 03:30 AM   #1
..its so... big
 
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My Parents

I don't know if this is anyone else. But I really feel like my relationship with my parents is a little different compared to everyone else. My friends came over to hang out, it is 1:34am and we're just playing some games on the PS3. She comes in and starts bitching like a fucking crazed bat. Fast forward to 2:00am and I'm having a conversation with my friend about what just happened.

Do anyone out there feel like this? This is more of a rant.

w says (1:53 AM):
shes so oblivious to things
s. says (1:53 AM):
why was she mad tho
w says (1:53 AM):
she thinks a coffee shop isn't open 24hours or that students go there to study
w says (1:54 AM):
its the point that she doesn't believe me that i'm no different from every other 23 year old
w says (1:54 AM):
22**
w says (1:54 AM):
she thinks what im doing is bad, is wrong, is not normal, that i'm turning bad
w says (1:55 AM):
she thinks that we all need to be in our rooms, not outside, we need to be studying ever fucking hour, and not go out or hang out with friends. because every person is like that, no one goes out to watch a movie, or play sports, or eat
w says (1:55 AM):
other kids are always home, eating food from home, studying, not playing games, using the computer for research, not at school till 5, wake up at 8, they don't sleep past 10am
w says (1:55 AM):
why are we studying till 2? you should be in bed by 10
w says (1:56 AM):
we are supposed to get A's just by studying every fucking day, because we have nothing distracting us, we don't have stress to cope with, we don't have stress, why DO WE HAVE STRESS? we just have to study, we don't need to think about anything else, shoudn't drink beer, because if i drink a beer on november 1st and she sees me drinking another beer on november 15th, it means i drink so much, i drink every day right?
w says (1:56 AM):
day
w says (1:57 AM):
its like we don't know what is wrong and what is right, its like we don't want to have a good life, its like we want to be poor and not enjoy life
w says (1:58 AM):
its like we don't need to think about that stuff, we just need to study, we're genious' right? we just do that, why can't we just do that like every other son and daughter of their friends? why are we not useful like them, why aren't we graduated already?
w says (1:58 AM):
why can't you be like j, or d, or your sister
w says (1:58 AM):
what was the difference from sept, october, november and december?
w says (1:59 AM):
wtf is the problem now?

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Old 12-03-2010, 09:51 AM   #2
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are your parents asian? chinese? i can definately say i experienced this exact same thing when i was younger. They would always be saying stuff abotu how sleeping past 12am is fucked up and everyone elses kids are up to their necks in books everyday studying doing great getting straight A's whereas i wasnt even going to school and how nobody at this age plays games and blah n blah n blah. needless to say i am 20 now and had a good talk with them about how im a grown man now and this no longer happens anymore
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Old 12-03-2010, 09:56 AM   #3
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Okay if you have people over to your PARENTS house at 2 am. They have every right to tell you to GTFO or STFU. It's their house.

I don't get this entitlement that people have that they have the right to do what every they want while living rent free but I'll tell you the exact same thing my mother told me when I was 19 and staring at her like she'd grown a third head when I was all pissed at her for telling me my friends had to leave at 1 am on a week night - "Living by my rules is the rent you pay to live here. If you don't like it you can get your own apartment."

And I did. And you know what? We get on fantastically now.
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Old 12-03-2010, 10:20 AM   #4
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Holy shit, it's 1:34 in the fucking MORNING.

You're 23, grow a goddam spine.
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Old 12-03-2010, 11:37 AM   #5
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LOL maybe for you is ok to have frds over pass 12am but you live with your parents. They need to sleep and is their house. Don't like it? Move out.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:05 PM   #6
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Hey guys, thanks for the input. I just want to clarify things. We weren't loud. TV was on quiet. My friends just came over. I understand about the rules and everything. However, this has more to do with the way she executed everything. No warnings, no nothing. Just straight crazed bat out of its fucking cage. I understand I'm 22 now, however, you're not in my position. Many of my friends just say, "fuck it who cares." I have a tight connection and relationship with my parents, its just that this type of shit really ticks me off. They are oblivious to the Western way to handle things. I RESPECT that they came from where they came from, I respect the way they think, however, they don't understand that what they want, JUST CANNOT happen. I'm not saying what I'm doing is right, but come on, I'm not doing anything different from everyone else.

/rant
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:07 PM   #7
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It's her roof. Her rules. Either start paying rent money or gtfo and live on your own.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:13 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 40ft e-Peen View Post
Hey guys, thanks for the input. I just want to clarify things. We weren't loud. TV was on quiet. My friends just came over. I understand about the rules and everything. However, this has more to do with the way she executed everything. No warnings, no nothing. Just straight crazed bat out of its fucking cage. I understand I'm 22 now, however, you're not in my position. Many of my friends just say, "fuck it who cares." I have a tight connection and relationship with my parents, its just that this type of shit really ticks me off. They are oblivious to the Western way to handle things. I RESPECT that they came from where they came from, I respect the way they think, however, they don't understand that what they want, JUST CANNOT happen. I'm not saying what I'm doing is right, but come on, I'm not doing anything different from everyone else.

/rant
it doesn't mean that its okay to do like everyone else though. you learned that the hard way by getting an ear full, i hope.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:14 PM   #9
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Well if you don't like the way shit is coming down at you, then you can move out and no one will tell you when to sleep and telling your friends to go home at night time.

When someone's PISSED, it's obvious there won't be a warning your going to be receiving a lecture of some sort.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:20 PM   #10
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I'm pretty surprised you guys are saying this. But I understand. I will reevaluate how to handle things. However, this doesn't happen every time. This is the first time in quite a while that my friends came over. The solution is just not having anyone over. Simple as that. She didn't just bitch at me, she threaten my friends. Maybe you guys just had to be there to actually understand what I'm trying to say. She doesn't like me going out on a weekday. But wtf? I'm doing a group project or studying late at a coffee shop. Why don't they get it?

I have paid rent before, its just rent, they don't give a shit. They still bitched.
I paid rent, got yelled at for not going working more shifts at work and blah blah blah.

I've tried sitting down with each parent and talking about it. I voice my opinions, they voice theirs. But they are so stubborn. They won't accept the fact that things wont' be the way they think things should be like.

Another problem I have with my parents, not me so much, but for my younger sister. My parents bitch the shit out of her for going out past 11. She feels left out of the events her friends get to go to and all that. She respects the fact that she needs to be home at a certain time, however, she feels that by being home by 12 is a little bs. What do you guys think? She's 20.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:24 PM   #11
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If you're still living under the roof of your parents, then all of you are just your parents' babies. Their roof; their rules. If you don't like it then it's time you moved out. The reason they treat you like a little highschool kid is because you still look/act like a highschool kid. Once someone moves out into the real world living on their own, they soon realize that there's no more energy past 12:00 am to fuck around and it's time to sleep.

There's a huge difference in mentality and maturity that humbles someone when they gotta survive and pay for their bills on their own. I doubt OP has ever had to worry that if his pay cheque doesn't cover the bills he won't have electricity or running water next month or not having a meal for him when he gets home.

Be glad your mom is still feeding your ass at the cost of her going bat-shit crazy once in a while.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:25 PM   #12
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:28 PM   #13
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Nhan who is that chick in your avatar, holy mother she is smokin
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:34 PM   #14
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double post, rookied
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:35 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 40ft e-Peen View Post
Another problem I have with my parents, not me so much, but for my younger sister. My parents bitch the shit out of her for going out past 11. She feels left out of the events her friends get to go to and all that. She respects the fact that she needs to be home at a certain time, however, she feels that by being home by 12 is a little bs. What do you guys think? She's 20.
op, did you miss all the posts of "living at home, live by home rules"? Doesn't matter how old she is.

youre 23, you live at home, if they pay for your school and food including the roof over your head. what do you have to worry about? what do you stress about OTHER than school?

now, if you work and the money you earn from work goes back to paying rent at home, food not just for yourself but also for the family and you pay for your own school tuition. then fine complain all you want.

and if youre paying rent, food, and school might as well move out.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:38 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 40ft e-Peen View Post
I'm pretty surprised you guys are saying this. But I understand. I will reevaluate how to handle things. However, this doesn't happen every time. This is the first time in quite a while that my friends came over. The solution is just not having anyone over. Simple as that. She didn't just bitch at me, she threaten my friends. Maybe you guys just had to be there to actually understand what I'm trying to say. She doesn't like me going out on a weekday. But wtf? I'm doing a group project or studying late at a coffee shop. Why don't they get it?

I have paid rent before, its just rent, they don't give a shit. They still bitched.
I paid rent, got yelled at for not going working more shifts at work and blah blah blah.

I've tried sitting down with each parent and talking about it. I voice my opinions, they voice theirs. But they are so stubborn. They won't accept the fact that things wont' be the way they think things should be like.

Another problem I have with my parents, not me so much, but for my younger sister. My parents bitch the shit out of her for going out past 11. She feels left out of the events her friends get to go to and all that. She respects the fact that she needs to be home at a certain time, however, she feels that by being home by 12 is a little bs. What do you guys think? She's 20.
Really I don't see this being too far off base. There are MUCH MUCH stricter parents than yours and them freaking out because people are at their house past a certain time is understandable.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:50 PM   #17
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Again. Living under your parents rules is part of the rent you pay for living under your parents roof. And as long as you live under their roof they WILL view you as a child and treat you accordingly.

And honestly, I don't care how quiet you are. If you were my kid and woke me up at 2 am I'd rip your head off. Seriously. Don't have people at your house while your parents are sleeping. Have some consideration and they might show it for you in return.

And don't use the "everyone else is doing it" schitck. That's childish and makes you sound like a bleating sheep.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:51 PM   #18
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Alright guys, thanks for your input. It seems that you guys have had much experience. I'm not saying I should be able to whatever the fuck I want. I'm just trying to understand the logic for screaming at the top of your lungs and bitching infront of my friends. My bad, it was past the time. I understand its their rules. But...do you guys come home at 12? Always? You guys dont' go out like to a club or watch a movie that ends at 2? Or go to a party and come home and its 130? Do you guys just do what your parents say?
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:55 PM   #19
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Sometimes, I know I shouldn't be using the 'everyone is doing it bs', but in reality, its the truth. I'm not saying I can do it just because everyone is doing it. I may go out once in a while, but when its the one time, they blow it up out of proportion and bring every other problem into the argument. If I come home at 1 or 2, they bitch and complain about me not graduated yet. Or they would bring in why aren't I like my cousins or their friends kids. They EVEN BRING IN not washing the cars last time or washing the dishes. WTF WHO DOES THAT?! The problem wasn't those things, the problem was coming home late. Also, if I DON'T DO the dishes ONE time, they will bitch about how I NEVER DO THE DISHES.
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Old 12-03-2010, 01:55 PM   #20
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We'll yeah some of us probably do go out past 12, but its how we react and treat our parents that might be the difference? Being in school I'm only out late on the weekends. They don't pay for my schooling or anything that I do. Before when I was younger like 19-20 they'd give me a lot of shit. Soon as you grow up and show them you're mature they'll get off your back, but until you grow up you're always a baby.
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Old 12-03-2010, 02:11 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 40ft e-Peen View Post
Sometimes, I know I shouldn't be using the 'everyone is doing it bs', but in reality, its the truth. I'm not saying I can do it just because everyone is doing it. I may go out once in a while, but when its the one time, they blow it up out of proportion and bring every other problem into the argument. If I come home at 1 or 2, they bitch and complain about me not graduated yet. Or they would bring in why aren't I like my cousins or their friends kids. They EVEN BRING IN not washing the cars last time or washing the dishes. WTF WHO DOES THAT?! The problem wasn't those things, the problem was coming home late. Also, if I DON'T DO the dishes ONE time, they will bitch about how I NEVER DO THE DISHES.
That's what happens when someone is pissed. the flood gates open and shit spews out like a mother fuckin' G6.

Going by what you said about "other people do this so I should be able to do at least some of the stuff they do and get away with it", you put them in your shoes. Other parents are rat-bagging their kids, why shouldn't they be able to rat-bag you? In your parents' circle of friends it's "normal" to bitch your kids off about this kind of thing i'm sure. It's not a special case and no, you are not unique when it comes to parent-bitchattude. All parents give their kids shit and look down at them when they see someone elses' kids doing something better. That other kid probably goes through the same shit.

Just move the fuck out and realize how much worse off you could be when you don't have everything provided for you and you have to work for EVERYTHING while going to work and school.
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Old 12-03-2010, 02:16 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 40ft e-Peen View Post
Sometimes, I know I shouldn't be using the 'everyone is doing it bs', but in reality, its the truth. I'm not saying I can do it just because everyone is doing it. I may go out once in a while, but when its the one time, they blow it up out of proportion and bring every other problem into the argument. If I come home at 1 or 2, they bitch and complain about me not graduated yet. Or they would bring in why aren't I like my cousins or their friends kids. They EVEN BRING IN not washing the cars last time or washing the dishes. WTF WHO DOES THAT?! The problem wasn't those things, the problem was coming home late. Also, if I DON'T DO the dishes ONE time, they will bitch about how I NEVER DO THE DISHES.
Dude, my parents bitch about things all the time or yell when company is over without asking but I understand it is because I am still a kid to them and their responsibility. So far no examples you have shown is outside the norm in my opinion.
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Old 12-03-2010, 02:19 PM   #23
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let's see how you feel 20 or 30 years down the road, and it's your own son or daughter doing the same thing and giving the exact reasoning you're giving now. just try to imagine how it would be if you were the parent. maybe if u were able to be in their shoes, you'd better understand their demands, since of course, they were young some time ago too
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Old 12-03-2010, 02:19 PM   #24
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MrGoodBar. Thank you for your input. I appreciate what my parents do for me. I don't ever take it for granted. I know how lucky I am to be provided with food and shelter. I just wanted to make sure you didn't think I was a punk ass kid. But w/e. I want to make sure you know that I don't think I should be able to do those things just because my friends do. But, aren't we allowed to have fun once in a while without getting shit kicked and yelled at?
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Old 12-03-2010, 02:22 PM   #25
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whether your parents can justify their reasons for kicking your friends out or not, in the end they control who comes into the house... how would you feel that you constantly had, say, your roommates friends over all the time... sure, they arent noisey, but knowing people are in your house and diong shit while you are trying to sleep can be annoying.

you are 23... i think your mom is hinting for you to get the fuck out or what not. some parents may not care, but she obviously does... and because it is her house, she does not need to compromise with you. if she gets annoyed knowing you are up with your friends past 12am, then it is her right. one day you will be in her shoes, and only then will you understand her position. she has been a parent to you since the day you were born, and it is time for you to give her her freedom. move out already.. 23? do you ever want to bring girls home?
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