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The thin line between love and hate
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Old 12-04-2010, 08:12 PM   #51
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Dude, your parents pay for your schooling.
Teach them a lesson, and start studying.
If they see you working hard towards school and do well, then hopefully they'll stop bitching.

If the bitching continues, then your parents are fucked up.

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Old 12-04-2010, 11:02 PM   #52
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maybe you also never gave your parents a reason for them to fully respect and trust you.
maybe your choice of friends also caused your parents to be overprotective because they hear other parents telling them what rebels they have for kids.

sure you pay for YOUR gas and insurance etc, but these are also for your own consumption. imagine if you were the dad, toiling away long hours on his job, only to come home to a house where his kids just keep whining about not being able to "socialize and make friends", and stay out late past 12mn. you don't see your dad complaining he cant go out and just chill with his dudes, right?

first step on the road to compromise? if they don't give in, swallow your pride and show them you are capable of being trustworthy and respected.
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:05 AM   #53
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I know the OP and experienced his parents bitching many times.
You guys think he's got it good, but don't you think its pretty fucking annoying when you get yelled at for no reason?
My buddy is a good kid, studying hard in school. So whats the problem here?
Hes got a social life and every kid needs it for balance. You think your parents raised you till you're 18 so you can GTFO on the streets and do your own shit? How about some fucking support in trying to make it in life. Isn't that what a family is for?
OP ain't no loser kid doing jack shit all day.
His sister is growing up, shes 20 now and she can't stay out past 12. And I HIGHLY doubt you guys obeyed your parents when they asked you to come home by then. She is a smart girl, studying at UBC and does well. So again, i ask what is the problem here?? I understand they might be protective over her, but my buddy is 22 now. He does homework and go to school during the week and i think its fair that he should be able to go out on the weekend without getting bitched at like crazy. Or to even have some friends over to hang? We don't disturb them or anything. Its not like he constantly has people over all the time also.

It seems like his parents look down on him all the time and is it really necessary to yell at LITERALLY everything??.....that's pretty much whats its come down to when his parents are communicating with him.
Maybe they should try a different approach on parenting.

Last edited by js; 12-05-2010 at 05:11 AM.
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:17 AM   #54
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I had a similar experience. Except I was 13, not 23. Grow up and move out, or live with them by their rules.
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:28 AM   #55
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Thanks for the positive replies and not so positive replies. I don't mind that you guys suggest I should move out. Hell, I think of moving out sometimes too. But who are you to call me a punkass bitch? I welcome your suggestions but please don't jump to conclusions about me being a bitch. But you're not in my shoes, I can only tell you guys my side of the story. I'm not cushioning the story to make it seem like I'm the good guy and my mom is the bad guy. So, I welcome your suggestions, but don't be name calling me. I'm not here for sympathy. I just want to hear other user's stories and how they think my situation is like and how I can make the relationship between me and my parents a little less sour. I'm also confused at why my parents are on bad terms so I asked you guys to let me know what was wrong.
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:41 AM   #56
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In your parents' eyes, you are still not much better than an 8 year old. I tend to agree.. No offense, but you are a kid still, living at home and going to school.

If you want to do it that way, keep with it, but expect to be treated like a child. Hopefully when you're done, you can grow up and move on.
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:00 AM   #57
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wow..... am I the only Asian that was pretty much independant by age of 19?
Fuck I went to school by applying for student loan, I paid for my place, I paid for my parents' vacation once I graduated every other year to show them my appreciation... And I'm thankful that my parents have shown me how investment works from early on and gave me above average brain to work with. I was able to pay 80% off of 1m penthouse by age of 28. Guess what, I rarely ever got so-called 'bitched' at by my parents. Most decision I make they respect it, why? Because I was able to show them that they can trust me, that I've shown them that I am independent and mature. You are 22 and you live with your parents and your parents pay for your schooling. Put yourself into their shoe. How old were they when they had to be independent when they were young? I am not saying staying with your parents at age of 22 or have your parents pay for your schooling is bad, but if your parents are willing to support you through your schooling, show some fucking respect. Show them that their hard earned money is spent wisely, not wasted by punkass kid who does not appreciate what the life has given to him.
If they want you to do things their way, try their way. Do you want to be respected?
Talk to them with respect. Show them you are mature. You don't like being treated as a kid? then stop fucking act like one!
You want to live your life whichever way you want to? then quit whining and move out.
Stop wasting your parents hard earned money.
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Old 12-05-2010, 07:19 AM   #58
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Clearly one thing your parents didn't teach you is humility
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Old 12-05-2010, 08:52 AM   #59
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Well, sometimes just gotta learn to appreciate what you have. You get food cooked by mom, shelter over your head and she probably still washes your underwear. Life is good, what else more do you expect or need? Some ppl don't even get these kinds of luxuries even when they are living at home with their parents, just gotta suck it up and move on.

There's always going to be stuff happening at home and outside of the home, life isn't a fantasy wonderland story where everything is lovely and great. Just work hard at school, finish it and find a job and you can do whatever you want after that. Move out, buy your own place, etc...
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Old 12-05-2010, 10:14 AM   #60
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Clearly one thing your parents didn't teach you is humility
No offense but, clearly, you aren't too bright person. there are times you need to be humble and there are times you need to prove a point. My intention in last post was to help the kid by trying to have him see the situation in different angle. If you couldn't see my intention and you thought I was only trying to brag, I just feel sad for you.
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:03 PM   #61
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I know the OP and experienced his parents bitching many times.You guys think he's got it good, but don't you think its pretty fucking annoying when you get yelled at for no reason? My buddy is a good kid, studying hard in school. So whats the problem here?
Hes got a social life and every kid needs it for balance. You think your parents raised you till you're 18 so you can GTFO on the streets and do your own shit? How about some fucking support in trying to make it in life. Isn't that what a family is for? OP ain't no loser kid doing jack shit all day.
His sister is growing up, shes 20 now and she can't stay out past 12. And I HIGHLY doubt you guys obeyed your parents when they asked you to come home by then. She is a smart girl, studying at UBC and does well. So again, i ask what is the problem here?? I understand they might be protective over her, but my buddy is 22 now. He does homework and go to school during the week and i think its fair that he should be able to go out on the weekend without getting bitched at like crazy. Or to even have some friends over to hang? We don't disturb them or anything. Its not like he constantly has people over all the time also.

It seems like his parents look down on him all the time and is it really necessary to yell at LITERALLY everything??.....that's pretty much whats its come down to when his parents are communicating with him.
Maybe they should try a different approach on parenting.
You guys think he's got it good, but don't you think its pretty fucking annoying when you get yelled at for no reason?

Your very 1st point is the stupidest thing I have read all day. Are you fuckin kidding me? OP gets yelled at for no reason and thats your counter to him having free place to stay, food, education?

Just because thats your idea of a family doesn't mean thats how it works. Do you know how lucky it is that his parents even pay for his schooling? I know lots of people who once high school was done was told to get a job and pay rent or go to school (pay for it yourself) and don't pay rent. In OPs original post he complains about the stress of life. gimme a fuckin break you aint stressing shit. people have to worry about even getting enough money to pay for education, you got to worry bout girls not liking you. boo fuckin hoo.

You said when OP has friends over you guys don't bug them but if I had a kid who was 22 living under my house for free, going to school on my dime and invited his friends over to play video games at 1:30am in the morning while I am trying to sleep to go to work and pay for all that shit I'd be pissed too.

For the record I was one of those kids that had to be home early and I was cause if not I would get locked out of the house. I would be able to come back the next day only if my parents weren't home. If it occured many times I wouldn't be allowed back in. They packed my clothes up for me once even just to show me they were serious. I WOULD of gladly come home to some "annoying" yelling.

His parents are looking down on him, hell I am looking down on him. OP is acting like a high school kid not an adult. OP may be 22 but shit aint changed since high school at all. Wanting freedom from your parents when you can't take care of yourself.

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Thanks for the positive replies and not so positive replies. I don't mind that you guys suggest I should move out. Hell, I think of moving out sometimes too. But who are you to call me a punkass bitch? I welcome your suggestions but please don't jump to conclusions about me being a bitch. But you're not in my shoes, I can only tell you guys my side of the story. I'm not cushioning the story to make it seem like I'm the good guy and my mom is the bad guy. So, I welcome your suggestions, but don't be name calling me. I'm not here for sympathy. I just want to hear other user's stories and how they think my situation is like and how I can make the relationship between me and my parents a little less sour. I'm also confused at why my parents are on bad terms so I asked you guys to let me know what was wrong.
If you didn't noticed u called me a POS based upon the fact I called you a freeloader but if you didn't notice the term freeloader suits u. If you weren't a free loader you would of taken a student load instead of letting your parents pay. Just because you don't work doesn't mean there aren't other ways to pay for your own education. 1st u tried to play victim in your "terrible" situation and now u try to play victim for people callin u a mooch.


Everyone has been giving you advice you just havent been paying attention to what they are saying. I was in your situation once before and how I got out of it was showing them I wasn't a child anymore by making my own way paying for school. I no longer needed them to lean on so how could the complain to me about something they arent funding. To your parents they prob see this more like a employer/employee relationship and when they are seeing you not doing work of course they are going to complain its their loss of funds.

In simple terms, if you don't want to be treated like a kid stop acting like one. Take responsibilities for your own life, stop complaining and grow up.
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:06 PM   #62
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Thank you for the advice. However, when you assume that I'm not doing any work. Thats bs. They see me doing work most of the time they are home. Its that ONE time when I'm NOT doing work that they complain that I NEVER DO ANY WORK. How can I explain it. They don't take into consideration that I was studying for 3 hours at home. And for that 1 hour I'm watching a show on my computer or on the computer, they bitch and complain that I haven't done anything all day. There is not point of assuming anything from your end. I understand that that may be the reasons for my problems. It isn't. My parents ARE a little strange compared to others. Nonetheless, they ARE my parents. I respect what they say. However, I think its time for them to chill out a bit when I'm not studying and what not. THATS THE PROBLEM I HAVE. Sorry, thats the problem MY PARENTS HAVE.

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Old 12-05-2010, 06:35 PM   #63
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You guys think he's got it good, but don't you think its pretty fucking annoying when you get yelled at for no reason?

Your very 1st point is the stupidest thing I have read all day. Are you fuckin kidding me? OP gets yelled at for no reason and thats your counter to him having free place to stay, food, education?

Just because thats your idea of a family doesn't mean thats how it works. Do you know how lucky it is that his parents even pay for his schooling? I know lots of people who once high school was done was told to get a job and pay rent or go to school (pay for it yourself) and don't pay rent. In OPs original post he complains about the stress of life. gimme a fuckin break you aint stressing shit. people have to worry about even getting enough money to pay for education, you got to worry bout girls not liking you. boo fuckin hoo.

You said when OP has friends over you guys don't bug them but if I had a kid who was 22 living under my house for free, going to school on my dime and invited his friends over to play video games at 1:30am in the morning while I am trying to sleep to go to work and pay for all that shit I'd be pissed too.

For the record I was one of those kids that had to be home early and I was cause if not I would get locked out of the house. I would be able to come back the next day only if my parents weren't home. If it occured many times I wouldn't be allowed back in. They packed my clothes up for me once even just to show me they were serious. I WOULD of gladly come home to some "annoying" yelling.

His parents are looking down on him, hell I am looking down on him. OP is acting like a high school kid not an adult. OP may be 22 but shit aint changed since high school at all. Wanting freedom from your parents when you can't take care of yourself.



If you didn't noticed u called me a POS based upon the fact I called you a freeloader but if you didn't notice the term freeloader suits u. If you weren't a free loader you would of taken a student load instead of letting your parents pay. Just because you don't work doesn't mean there aren't other ways to pay for your own education. 1st u tried to play victim in your "terrible" situation and now u try to play victim for people callin u a mooch.


Everyone has been giving you advice you just havent been paying attention to what they are saying. I was in your situation once before and how I got out of it was showing them I wasn't a child anymore by making my own way paying for school. I no longer needed them to lean on so how could the complain to me about something they arent funding. To your parents they prob see this more like a employer/employee relationship and when they are seeing you not doing work of course they are going to complain its their loss of funds.

In simple terms, if you don't want to be treated like a kid stop acting like one. Take responsibilities for your own life, stop complaining and grow up.
cool story bro..

P.S. your parents suck
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:57 PM   #64
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Mr jay, I can tell you're not going to be a good parent when you're older.
Probably raise them till they're 18 and tell them to GTFO, otherwise if they live under your roof, you're gonna be hated for sure. Clearly.
You think its the OP's fault, but it could be the parenting as well.
Why have kids, raise them until they're 18 and expect them to be live as if they're 30? Rent a place, and pay for everything.
There's still education to go through AFTER high school just so you know, retard.
I know some people has got it better than others but we don't take ANYTHING for granted. We're in school working hard, trying to succeed to make our parents happy.

I'm just saying, there's no need to treat you son like that. Especially when hes a good kid, who studies hard, and wants to have a regular social life like regular people.

I'm sure a lot of people would be on his side too and a lot of people aren't, but that's okay. Just cause he posted it on revscene, he'd get some fucked up replies from assholes like Mr. Jay who thinks he deserves more respect than anyone else on here because he works and goes to school and has no social life because he needs to succeed in life. You're too stupid to understand everyone's situation is different.
Yea he has a roof on his head and food on the table. Doesn't make it okay for them to treat him like that. He doesn't disrespect his parents so if you would understand the situation better, you can see that hes not bitching about not having a good life in terms of material things.
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Old 12-05-2010, 07:28 PM   #65
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why have kids when you are gonna treat them so shitty? they always say they want you to have a good life but hey, if being kicked out of the house after the age of 18 is what you think is right, then....

shits just bad parenting.
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Old 12-05-2010, 08:02 PM   #66
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No offense but, clearly, you aren't too bright person. there are times you need to be humble and there are times you need to prove a point. My intention in last post was to help the kid by trying to have him see the situation in different angle. If you couldn't see my intention and you thought I was only trying to brag, I just feel sad for you.
Clearly you are an idiot if you think I suggested that your ONLY reason to post was to brag.

I literally LOL'd at your reply
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Old 12-06-2010, 02:07 AM   #67
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My mom randomly bitches at me too.

But I would rather live in a warm house with food prepared, than living in an apartment, slaving off at work, and eating microwaved food all day.

You live like a king, chump. Back then during my dad's days with the Red Guards... they'll show you what's up.
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:33 AM   #68
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Mr jay, I can tell you're not going to be a good parent when you're older.
Probably raise them till they're 18 and tell them to GTFO, otherwise if they live under your roof, you're gonna be hated for sure. Clearly.
You think its the OP's fault, but it could be the parenting as well.
Why have kids, raise them until they're 18 and expect them to be live as if they're 30? Rent a place, and pay for everything.
There's still education to go through AFTER high school just so you know, retard.
I know some people has got it better than others but we don't take ANYTHING for granted. We're in school working hard, trying to succeed to make our parents happy.

I'm just saying, there's no need to treat you son like that. Especially when hes a good kid, who studies hard, and wants to have a regular social life like regular people.

I'm sure a lot of people would be on his side too and a lot of people aren't, but that's okay. Just cause he posted it on revscene, he'd get some fucked up replies from assholes like Mr. Jay who thinks he deserves more respect than anyone else on here because he works and goes to school and has no social life because he needs to succeed in life. You're too stupid to understand everyone's situation is different.
Yea he has a roof on his head and food on the table. Doesn't make it okay for them to treat him like that. He doesn't disrespect his parents so if you would understand the situation better, you can see that hes not bitching about not having a good life in terms of material things.
Are you stupid? I know there school after high school in fact its in every one of my post. I'm saying you guys are ungrateful because its all paid for and you guys are coming online to complain about parents that clearly care enough for their punk ass son online cause that helps.

Clearly with a reply like that and your previous rebuttal u are a moron.

Hell, I may be a bad parent when I have kids but I'm going to make sure my kids actually understand what respect means and that life isn't something that's handed to you on a silver plate. You both prob had it easy all your life you couldn't possibly understand what it was like to grow up completely poor. My family move here with nothing so when I hear kids bitch about how good they have it of course I'm gonna bitch them out. Do you know what its like to constantly move, not have your parents around cause they are too busy working 2 jobs each to support the family? Not having money for new clothes? Not having money to go out? Not having money for present on any occasion? Yea I don't think you do so shut the fuck up u brat.

If I knew my kids were going to end up like u or OP I would abort that shit right away.

A. Finch my parents are strict and rough but I understand they didn't want their kids acting like little punks like these fucks and I thank them for that I become someone capable of handling himself in the real world.
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Old 12-06-2010, 07:13 PM   #69
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LOL! This is hilarious!

A thread about a kid in his early 20's dealing with his Asian parents turns into a full out assult on Mr. Jay and poor parenting? Off-topic much?

By the way, this is sig material.

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If I knew my kids were going to end up like u or OP I would abort that shit right away.
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Old 12-07-2010, 12:24 AM   #70
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You're a straight up hater on anyone who didn't grow up poor. And yes my parents came here with nothing too, but they've managed. Stop acting like you're the only one. I NEVER got SHIT when i was young. They managed to do well for themselves and like I said, we don't take anything for granted.
The OP is not complaining about not having those things in life, hes talking about his relationship with himself and his parents you MORON.

Buddy, you gotta relax you sound like a bitter fuck. Like i said, everyone's situation is different and you don't quite understand this one, soooo you should STFU or continue wasting your time on a post you don't understand. Thanks.


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Are you stupid? I know there school after high school in fact its in every one of my post. I'm saying you guys are ungrateful because its all paid for and you guys are coming online to complain about parents that clearly care enough for their punk ass son online cause that helps.

Clearly with a reply like that and your previous rebuttal u are a moron.

Hell, I may be a bad parent when I have kids but I'm going to make sure my kids actually understand what respect means and that life isn't something that's handed to you on a silver plate. You both prob had it easy all your life you couldn't possibly understand what it was like to grow up completely poor. My family move here with nothing so when I hear kids bitch about how good they have it of course I'm gonna bitch them out. Do you know what its like to constantly move, not have your parents around cause they are too busy working 2 jobs each to support the family? Not having money for new clothes? Not having money to go out? Not having money for present on any occasion? Yea I don't think you do so shut the fuck up u brat.

If I knew my kids were going to end up like u or OP I would abort that shit right away.

A. Finch my parents are strict and rough but I understand they didn't want their kids acting like little punks like these fucks and I thank them for that I become someone capable of handling himself in the real world.
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Old 12-07-2010, 07:09 AM   #71
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Mr. Jay, while I agree with many of your points I think you need to calm the fuck down and stop jumping to conclusions about the OP.

Also, it doesn't matter if the OP is a freeloader in the technical sense (yes, technically we were all freeloaders growing up living with our parents), you were clearly using that word to purposely put down the OP. Considering your condescending attitude and the way you used the word freeloader on him, why are you pissed when he responded by calling you a POS? Hell I'd call you a POS too. It's pretty much the expected reaction.
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Old 12-08-2010, 01:17 AM   #72
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Mr. Jay, while I agree with many of your points I think you need to calm the fuck down and stop jumping to conclusions about the OP.

Also, it doesn't matter if the OP is a freeloader in the technical sense (yes, technically we were all freeloaders growing up living with our parents), you were clearly using that word to purposely put down the OP. Considering your condescending attitude and the way you used the word freeloader on him, why are you pissed when he responded by calling you a POS? Hell I'd call you a POS too. It's pretty much the expected reaction.
Yeah, but there's a difference. Freeloading and bitching... vs. freeloading and feeling grateful.

Anyone think it's ironic how OP says his parents are insensitive?
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Old 12-08-2010, 12:06 PM   #73
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I think those of you who think your parents bitching at you is "random" have yet to be parents.

When you're a parent you'll realize that while you love your kids to death they do stuff that drives you completely nuts all the time and you put a smile on your face because you love them and you want them to be happy but it gnaws at you. And then one day they wake you up at three in the morning or break your favorite mug or ruin your plans and it's the chip in the dam when it all comes out. You don't mean to, but you're human and exusted (because it doesn't matter how old your kids are parents never get enough sleep) and out it comes. And you feel like crap after but know that as a parent when you draw a line you have to defend it and can never ever back down from it. All parents have been there. They're human. Unfortunately children rarely really understand that being human part (even when they claim they do).

Rather then thinking your parents bitching is random, I would highly recommend you be grateful for all the times they bit their tongue and smiled (though I suspect you won't because kids are oblivious until they're in their parents shoes). I would recommend you thank them more often and do nice things for them at random and with out being asked because this takes the edge off the giving, giving, giving, endless giving parents do until there is nothing left but raw nerves some of the time. I would recommend you realize that until you're out from under their roof you will always be a child in their eyes and accept it. And realize that even when you leave their house you're still going to be their baby, though they will find it easier to bottle that part of themselves up when they have time to redevelop their own identities as more than living Giving Trees.

This is the part of parenting parents don't talk to you about. Because we feel we should be selfless. Because we feel guilty in our not so shiny moments. Because we're not supposed to talk about these things or feel them. Give your moms a rest and they'll give you one.
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Old 12-08-2010, 03:30 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by darkfroggy View Post
Yeah, but there's a difference. Freeloading and bitching... vs. freeloading and feeling grateful.

Anyone think it's ironic how OP says his parents are insensitive?
I did say I agree with a lot of Mr.Jay's points.

I guess what I meant is that the OP doesn't entirely come across as a good-for-nothing ingrate who is insensitive and constantly bitches about his parents for no good reason.

Imagine if the OP simply wrote the opening post and just left it at that. THEN I can see us jumping down his throat and calling him all sorts of names. His subsequent posts show he isn't just a troll and he even explained more and showed that he does respect his parents and sort of understands how lucky he is to actually have parents.
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:38 AM   #75
..its so... big
 
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Sorry, finals just finished. Thanks for all the posts..this thread was made just to discuss the problem, and clearly there is another problem risen from this lol.
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