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Relationship & Gender DiscussionTHIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE! The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...
Let me drive this point home: if a girl willingly wants to see a guy for more than a week alone and going out a lot, probably means she wants/expects something more, how does she expect not to get serious when you guys go out for more than ONE week. Beyond that is irrelevant. There's a study that says it only takes a girl a few minutes to judge a guy whether he's a date (or more primally; a mate) or not.
After one week, she should have know whether it was serious or not. But she had her "boyfriend" in the back of her mind all that time. So were you a distraction? Fuck yes. Call it hindsight after she told you if you must, but, yeah, most of us already called it before you posted about your recent call. For the record, confused females are the most dangerous people in a relationship and on the road.
Learn from this and the moment you find out she carries baggage, get the fuck out. Take this from someone who had a situation where an EX-BOYFRIEND who the girl wasn't even seeing was calling. Needless to say, something of a small magnitude of that really fucks with a guy's head.
My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,810
Thanked 736 Times in 167 Posts
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By the sounds of it, you were just her clutch when she was in a bad spot. I know she said you weren't but common... we all lie when it works to our benefit. You can expect her to call you again when she's feeling hurt by her bf again, then ignore you when things are going well with her bf.
I wouldn't put too much thought or effort into this one, she's a flake. You're not going to get anything past dinner with that girl. If you do, consider yourself lucky and gtfo
OP: Oh by the way, in this day and age, it's really not a game of who the big dog is but the crowd that's backing the person up or what the other guy can do without you knowing. Seriously, if you mess with a guy's girl, they will do nothing short of ruining your life anyway they can. A scrappy 5'5 guy can take out a 6'2 guy who's had no fighting experience. But then again, I'm not here to discuss who will beat who up. It's always really really easy to compare your best traits to someone's worst traits and not see what the other person can really do to you to hurt you. This ain' highschool and I'm assuming you're around 22y/o since your name has an 88 in it. Think your age and not like a teen.
If you've never had a relationship with a girl and this is new to you, trust me, this drama ain't worth it.
^^^ I'm glad you are thinking rationally, man. The best thing to do is just keep your distance like she's just a co-worker. Last thing you want her to affect is you at your job. Sometimes pulling off a band-aid quickly and letting it hurt for a second is better than pulling it off slowly and letting it sting for minutes.
You did the right thing by seeking guidance and you are at least open to a different perspective (the RevScene perspective). Good on you because I know people who are so fucked up they won't listen to any reasoning at all. This might hurt now but it only made you a better man in a better place without the drama queen at work fucking your skull while shitting down your neck.
I might come off as abrasive and sorry if you took my post as an offense but really if I didn't want to help I wouldn't have sat down and took the time to come here to help a bro.
There's plenty out there better.
PS: if you value her at all, think about what you're going to post about her before you post. Remember this is an open forum and one of Lower Mainland's Largest. You never know who is lurking. To maintain your composure and integrity, I urge you to update us only if it's not harmful to yourself nor to the one you were pursuing.
yo bro as much as you like this girl, I'd say fuck it she ain't worth the time. Just live on with your life and when she's finally done "figuring out her stuff" and she comes to you then so be it. But don't bother stressing over someone like that especially when she's had history with "4 others". She says she's been faithful for the past 5 years but look at the evidence of the 4 guys and now you as well. Is that really the faithful type of girl?
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When life gets heavy, lift weights.
she likes being the damsel in distress, and you're the nice guy with a shoulder to lean on.
been there, done that, she's fuking with your head.
girls like assholes, and apparently she still likes her asshole boyfriend. drop her.
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dont fall for chicks lies, they fuck with your mind no matter what. when their bfs not around, they use u as distraction to get their mind off shit. they complain about trouble with bf or complain about how they hate what their bfs do..at the end when their bfs show up they ignore you. thats how chicks roll. stop gettin all attached for your sake
shit its becoming more and more apparent. man such a shitty feeling so shitty damn i feel awful
i pulled that methadone line on her - > response = wow its totally not like that.
she claims everything is still great between us...
well i work with her tomorrow well see what happens
man i hate her so much for messing with my emotions so badly
i feel like in the end i dont want to let her get away with this...
seriously ignore her, i know plenty chick friends that use guys shoulders to lean on while they have "bf troubles" or complaining about this n that. they want to know they got possible guy for rebound after or if they break up. some bitch tried pullin it on me i just ignore her, now she all depressed. dont let em get what they want otherwise you are their bitch. tell her about some wonderful chick u just met or something, make the bitch jealous.
shit its becoming more and more apparent. man such a shitty feeling so shitty damn i feel awful
i pulled that methadone line on her - > response = wow its totally not like that.
she claims everything is still great between us...
well i work with her tomorrow well see what happens
man i hate her so much for messing with my emotions so badly
i feel like in the end i dont want to let her get away with this...
Just lay it down for her. She has a bf, as long as they're together then you're out of the picture.
Its a simple solution for you. As much as she claims everything is great between the two of you, its pretty obvious why she says that. She wants you to be around when things with her bf arent going well.
Dont be a doormat. IMO, women like this deserve to be alone for a long time
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[19-07, 16:52] bloodmack: EB did u change my avatar and title?
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[19-07, 16:54] El Bastardo: bm i have no idea what you're talking about because i don't speak gorilla
shit its becoming more and more apparent. man such a shitty feeling so shitty damn i feel awful
i pulled that methadone line on her - > response = wow its totally not like that.
she claims everything is still great between us...
well i work with her tomorrow well see what happens
man i hate her so much for messing with my emotions so badly
i feel like in the end i dont want to let her get away with this...
I'm going to be as straight forward as I can be to make sure you don't fuck up with your next woman:
WOW.... is this really your first love interest or something? why would you use that line on her? It shows how insecure you are and by you posting your feelings and emotions here it really does show. Would you tell a hot girl you just met right off the bat you love her and want to get married with her and you would want no one else? You're just telling her she's hot shit and you're desperately in love and have no one else to turn your attention to. Your first mistake was hanging out and getting attached to a girl that has baggage. Second, you put all your emotional eggs in one basket. Who's the winner here? it's not you.
Don't be a fuckin' n00b or at least don't show you're a fuckin' n00b because she's played the game and she just owned you. Did you just go and ignore everyone's advice to leave her alone? Shit, NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN YOU TWO. And to everyone else around you, she's done nothing wrong and are probably gonna be on her side. What her peers are thinking: "Wow this guy is a creep and didn't he know you had a boyfriend?".
You paid for a few meals, she returned the favor. It's not like she hoarded your money. Yes, what this girl has done to YOU is not very good. But it's not the worst she could have done to you. You should actually be fucking greatful to her for putting you through this shit so you're prepared for it next time. Experience is experience.
Brush the fuckin' dust off yourself and grow a pair and grow the fuck up. She obviously ripped your balls off and is dangling it in your face. That's when you drop her and move on like you don't give a shit like you're livin' life like a king. The best thing to make a past girl you couldn't get with jealous or want you is to be happy with your life without her and she'll be thinking "wow, what did I miss out on? this dude has got his shit together" which is what you're not doing right now and still playing her game. Women value confidence in men; this really shouldn't be a surprise. This is classic relationship 'ing