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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 03-15-2011, 12:04 AM   #1
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Respecting each other's time

It bothers me a lot when simple things can be done to show respect for one another, and for that respect to be reciprocated, but is never done or just brushed off.

I'm the kind of person that is very punctual where "early is on time and on time is late" and it makes me angry when people, especially the SO decides to show up around "11ish" when I requested 11 oclock on the dot. One or two or 5 minutes late, fine. Anything after that is pissing.

Excuses like "you live close to _____ and I have to deal with traffic" piss me off even more.
If you know that traffic is shit and you're politely asked to meet up at a certain time, leave your house 10-15 mins earlier than you would, that way you would fall in to my 5 minute grace period.

Saying stuff like "10 minutes won't make a difference" kind of shows me that just cus we're friends, bf/gf family, whatever the relationship, I would be okay to wait for your ass cus fuking gelling your hair took more time than you expected. Its not okay, okay? Its pissing.

My time is precious, and instead of using my time to wait for you, I could've slept in a little more, chose a better outfit, or put on my make up a little nicer.

So ladies and gentlemen, please respect your friends/family/SO/whoever you're meeting up with's time by showing 5 minutes earlier or something, and try your best not to be more than 5 minutes late. Of course there are some exceptions, but c'mon guys, its not everyday that theres emergencies, and getting your ass up out of your house 10-15 mins earlier shouldn't be that hard to do.


/rant.

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Old 03-15-2011, 12:19 AM   #2
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I agree. My days are often packed with things that need to get done. If I'm not busy with something I'm usually driving somewhere to take care of something else.

The thing I can't stand the most is just sitting around and doing nothing, like chatting or whatever. It is very unproductive and doesn't help me accomplish what I need to get done that day. It bugs me when the person I'm waiting on doesn't understand this and just loligags.

However there are other days when I don't have much to do and don't mind relaxing/taking my time.
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Old 03-15-2011, 12:21 AM   #3
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doesnt bother me much unless it's business related
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Old 03-15-2011, 10:01 AM   #4
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what you say is true..

but..

i also heard that in a relationship.. you shouldn't ever expect to change the other person.. cuz its usually futile.. the only thing you can do is change yourself..

in which case you set the appointment for 2:15pm and then arrive at 2:30PM
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Old 03-15-2011, 11:07 AM   #5
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Is it just me or does the term "its pissing" totally not make any sense whatsoever?

But on topic: if this has anything to do with someone in your life, maybe tell them instead of us
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Old 03-15-2011, 11:36 AM   #6
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I totally agree with your rant but in most cases that it's not really about the habits of the person but rather how that person prioritizes you or other things in his life. For example, I would never be late for work, or important appointments. However when it comes to insignificant things, I'm more lax with my timing.



If your rant is relationship based, maybe the problem is that your partner finds himself in a certain comfort level that he's become overly casual in dealing with you. Which BTW, is something I'm guilty of as well from time to time.
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Old 03-15-2011, 12:48 PM   #7
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I've noticed it's more girls than guys bringing this issue up.

My girlfriend is like you. Needs to know exactly what time I'll be there, exactly where I'm coming from, etc.

Whereas if I'm waiting for her, I could care less if she was 15 minutes late. Not to say that I'm a lazy person, I actually live a very busy life. But in the time I'm waiting, I usually just do some housekeeping stuff like clean up a bit, dishes, laundry, etc.

If it's anything over the 30 minute mark, then I'd expect a text or call.

But hey, everyone's different, and I'm a guy. It takes me 30 seconds to do my hair and put on clothes.
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Old 03-15-2011, 12:59 PM   #8
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It takes me 30 seconds to do my hair and put on clothes.
Aaaahhh the beauty of being a man
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Old 03-15-2011, 01:04 PM   #9
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Maybe 30 seconds is exaggerated .. But I'm pretty sure I can get dressed and do my hair in less than a couple minutes.

Jeans, t-shirt, gel, wash hands.
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Old 03-15-2011, 01:11 PM   #10
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Maybe 30 seconds is exaggerated .. But I'm pretty sure I can get dressed and do my hair in less than a couple minutes.

Jeans, t-shirt, gel, wash hands.
Then why is it that guys are often the late ones? You don't even have that excuse :P

Personally, I dislike waiting too. I'm usually 5-10 minutes early for everything. I expect to wait those 5 - 10 minutes but I get annoyed by people who are chronically (and I know some who are often catastrophically) late.

It is, in my opinion, a complete disrespect of a person's time. Especially in this day and age when we're all so connected, it's not a lot hard to send a txt message or make a quick call if something's come up and you're running behind and that shows that you have an awareness of the other person's waiting which is usually enough to defuse any frusteration there.

So to the boys who feel your girlfriend's are impatient, just send a text. They'll be less grumpy when you get there
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Old 03-15-2011, 01:39 PM   #11
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I don't notice this problem.


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To quote the most misunderstood individual and figurehead on Revscene:

"I am a changed person."

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Old 03-15-2011, 01:56 PM   #12
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Then why is it that guys are often the late ones? You don't even have that excuse :P

So to the boys who feel your girlfriend's are impatient, just send a text. They'll be less grumpy when you get there
I guess it's kind of a subconcious "if you can be late, then I can be late" type of deal. Like, if I can find things to do while waiting for you, why can't you do the same? Even though I know it's wrong.

And yeah I started letting her know if I'm gonna be late, after a few arguments .
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Old 03-15-2011, 06:18 PM   #13
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My girlfriend always complains that I'm always early

zing
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Old 03-15-2011, 08:58 PM   #14
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Honestly, if they show up late they're just not fully interested in you or you're not a top priority.

I work in a auto shop, if I'm late I'm not going to hear the end of it - but I do deserve it. I've been late once, when a bus hit a car. Will I show up late on a regular basis? No, because food is gonna show up late on my table or not at all if I get canned. I've showed up late at my early jobs in life, fast food, retail whatever. Hell if I care, I can talk my way out of that.

I've picked up my friends with benefits before, I'm almost always 10-15 minutes late. If they like you, they'll take their time. If they love you, they'll love to see you and they'll be on time to do so.

No, it's not because I spend 5 minutes on my hair. Blame channel 22.

"Hey you're late!"
- Yeah but don't I look good?
"Yes, but you're late!"
- Yeah, but it was all for you.

Works everytime.
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Old 03-15-2011, 09:22 PM   #15
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The most annoying thing for me would be when I'm picking some friends up. Before I leave I'll let them know I'm heading over to their place, get ready. (They knew I am going to since they asked me when I'll be heading over.)

Once you get there, you still end up waiting for 15-30mins because they're still doing their hair or some b/s.

For fuck's sake, if someone has the decency to offer you a ride, do not make them wait for your sorry ass. Otherwise you can go join the transit club the next time.
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Old 03-15-2011, 09:33 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by v.Rossi View Post

"Hey you're late!"
- Yeah but don't I look good?
"Yes, but you're late!"
- Yeah, but it was all for you.

Works everytime.

guess my friends arent as smart as you
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Old 03-15-2011, 09:36 PM   #17
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shes always late or keeping me waiting....
i always let it slide until she starts complaining when im a little late
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Old 03-15-2011, 10:28 PM   #18
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It takes me 30 seconds to do my hair and put on clothes.
reminds me of this:

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Old 03-15-2011, 10:45 PM   #19
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You could try picking him up for a change and show him how it's done. 5 minute grace period? That's overly sensitive especially when you're only waiting at home (assuming). You guys are meeting up to enjoy your time together, don't let a 5 minute wait ruin the date.
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Old 03-15-2011, 11:30 PM   #20
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For work
For school
Or really anything business related or extremely time sensitive (like catching a plane, making it to the bank before closing to make a crucial transaction, visiting a loved one at the hospital before visiting hours are over, etc)
Yes, being on time is of utmost importance and is a crucial responsibility.

But I can only assume when you're talking about your SO being late, all you're going to be doing is going out or hanging out, aka a social obligation.

You are not racing to make it to a central command centre to turn a key with one other individual at a precise time down to the millisecond in order to stop a nuclear war.

Get the fuck over yourself.

Your time is precious because you can sleep or do your make-up better? Are you fucking kidding me. When you are a surgeon and your day consists of fitting in as many life saving surgeries as possible, when you are a police officer who's day consists of trying to prevent as much crime as possible, when you are a paramedic who's day consists of racing against time to reach individuals in dire need or medical attention; THEN you can tell me your time is fucking precious. But because your SO is 20, 30 minutes to take you shopping? Seriously, Get The Fuck Over Yourself.

Shit happens, with everything else, it means you could lose your job, fuck up school, miss seeing a loved one for the last time; things that affect your well-being. But going to dinner 30 minutes later, or having to go shopping the next day is not going to fuck your life up.

Learn to not be a stuck up bitch, and get the fuck over yourself.

/rant
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Old 03-15-2011, 11:50 PM   #21
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For work
For school
Or really anything business related or extremely time sensitive (like catching a plane, making it to the bank before closing to make a crucial transaction, visiting a loved one at the hospital before visiting hours are over, etc)
Yes, being on time is of utmost importance and is a crucial responsibility.

But I can only assume when you're talking about your SO being late, all you're going to be doing is going out or hanging out, aka a social obligation.

You are not racing to make it to a central command centre to turn a key with one other individual at a precise time down to the millisecond in order to stop a nuclear war.

Get the fuck over yourself.

Your time is precious because you can sleep or do your make-up better? Are you fucking kidding me. When you are a surgeon and your day consists of fitting in as many life saving surgeries as possible, when you are a police officer who's day consists of trying to prevent as much crime as possible, when you are a paramedic who's day consists of racing against time to reach individuals in dire need or medical attention; THEN you can tell me your time is fucking precious. But because your SO is 20, 30 minutes to take you shopping? Seriously, Get The Fuck Over Yourself.

Shit happens, with everything else, it means you could lose your job, fuck up school, miss seeing a loved one for the last time; things that affect your well-being. But going to dinner 30 minutes later, or having to go shopping the next day is not going to fuck your life up.

Learn to not be a stuck up bitch, and get the fuck over yourself.

/rant

whoaaa there. stuck up bitch? who the hell do you think you are?

i'm not a surgeon or have someone in ER with a critical condition, but the bottom line of my rant is for people not limited to an SO to show some RESPECT and COURTESY to the people that they have made plans with.

sure this can be a petty little rant to you, but fuck man, calling me a stuck up bitch? aren't you taking this a little too seriously?
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Old 03-16-2011, 09:49 AM   #22
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In all honesty posting this on RS you shouldve expected responses like that.
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Old 03-16-2011, 11:00 AM   #23
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I have had this before. I met a girl and she loves to sleep in and she's always late. I'm always always on time. If I'm not 10 mins. early, I"m already 15 mins. late.

Does it matter if you're at school, in a relationship, at a job etc... does it make a difference? Not really. Yes, you get in shit if you're late for work related stuff, you're 10 min. late in front of your friends won't mean much, but it's the character and reputation that's on the line.

Long story short, I knew the relationship is not going to work.
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Old 03-16-2011, 12:40 PM   #24
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but the bottom line of my rant is for people not limited to an SO to show some RESPECT and COURTESY to the people that they have made plans with.
Stuff happens.. for whatever reason. Stuff maybe he didn't plan for. Justifiable or not.. Whether he's finishing up some last bit of homework, put on his shoes a little slow, or whatever.

I mean, if it's happening repeatedly and you know for a fact he's just taking 9 years to do his hair, then that's a little different.

But even so, what if you were planning to meet him at 3, and he calls you at 2:55 and says he's going to be however many minutes late because of whatever reason. Would that be acceptable to you? Can you find something to do for an extra 15-30 minutes?

I'm not trying to be rude, as I've been in this situation before. But it sounds like all this can be prevented from a simple phone call if he thinks he'll be running late.
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Old 03-16-2011, 01:01 PM   #25
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But even so, what if you were planning to meet him at 3, and he calls you at 2:55 and says he's going to be however many minutes late because of whatever reason. Would that be acceptable to you? Can you find something to do for an extra 15-30 minutes?
I think most people can live with this. I mean, if my date/friend/coworker/whathaveyou calls me and says 'hey I'm stuck in traffic, I'll be about 15 minutes late' that's totally fine with me personally.

It's when people are late and don't even bother to let you know so you're stuck standing some where waiting and can't go do something else cause you're expecting them any second that sucks.
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