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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 04-12-2011, 02:59 PM   #76
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It's not that women are gold-diggers per se, but I think most guys can agree that having a girlfriend does cost money over the long-run.

Even dating can be expensive. Here's a typical breakdown of courtship:
1. Coffee or a beverage: 10 to 20 bucks
2. Meal at a kitschy place: 40 to 60 bucks
3. Activity of some sort: 20 to 200 bucks
If you play your cards right, you should get laid after the 2nd or 3rd date. If not, then you'll repeat this cycle which can end up costing quite a bit if you're unlucky.
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You know, it's possible to go on 'dates' without spending any money.

And if you can't afford to buy your gf a beverage at a coffee shop you probably should focus your energy on making money rather than dating...

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Old 04-12-2011, 03:47 PM   #77
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its summer coming up theres alot of cheap activities to do for free!
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Old 04-12-2011, 04:16 PM   #78
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^ yup, it's definitely cheaper. go to the beach, grab cupcake, ice cream, strawberries, outdoor sex, no necessary in that order
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Old 04-12-2011, 08:34 PM   #79
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GTL, sex, go back to pick up laundry.

-Not white enough to have white girls go for me
-Do not like asians
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Old 04-17-2011, 09:44 AM   #80
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Speaking from experience, another reason why a regular guy can remain single is a shrinking social circle. We all know that Vancouver is somewhat of a cliquey city so it can be hard to meet new people in a non-bar setting.

I'm going off on a tangent, but I will add that in my experience, the whole "chatting up random hotties in the grocery line" is a bit of a myth too. Most of the people I see at my neighbourhood Save-on-Foods are couples. I live in new neighbourhood with yuppies, but young and single women are a rarity; they almost all live their boyfriends or husbands.
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Why do u think Vancouver peeps are so cliquey?
I totally agree with u it's hard to enter groups but just curious
Why they don't want to meet new ppl
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Old 04-17-2011, 09:48 AM   #81
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Why do u think Vancouver peeps are so cliquey?
I totally agree with u it's hard to enter groups but just curious
Why they don't want to meet new ppl
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There are cliquey groupes, BUT most people have the same mentality as you. They won't invite people into their groups because they assume they wouldn't want to anyways. I think asians are moer prone to being cliquey...My friends and I are snobby too, I will admit it.
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Old 04-17-2011, 10:59 AM   #82
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Why do u think Vancouver peeps are so cliquey?
I totally agree with u it's hard to enter groups but just curious
Why they don't want to meet new ppl
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Not to sound like a green hippie, but I'm sure technology ie: smartphones have something to do with it. Nowadays dates are made through text, bbm(knowing when they recieved the msg?!) shit like that may seem harmless or whatever here and there. But you start getting comfortable, it's then hard to get out of that comfort zone. Not everyone with a smartphone is doomed I'm not implying that technology will fuck us over, but just read my post as it is not out of context.
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Old 04-17-2011, 11:29 AM   #83
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There are cliquey groupes, BUT most people have the same mentality as you. They won't invite people into their groups because they assume they wouldn't want to anyways. I think asians are moer prone to being cliquey...My friends and I are snobby too, I will admit it.
Asians are only more prone to being cliquey because they're shy or not openminded, some won't change some will. Ill guess it has something to do with parenting and holding hands for so long. I mean most Caucasian people just want to go out and do something. Kick a ball, climb a wall, fix a car. Asians rather just chill at home, content with getting bbt and calling it a night, some are too chince, some just love casinos.

If everyone met people solely from their hobbies wayyyy more people would be friends. I guess that's why Facebook made the "like" to pages and your friends can find out easily what you like over your wall? I love cars and fixing them, getting hammered while camping, love weed thank god for Mary jane, dubstep house rnb rap, chicks, meeting chicks, sex, beer fuck bbt, hockey ufc motogp, motorcycles, steak lasagna fuck sushi, gym gym gym, archer entourage the office spartacus, ashlynn Brooke Emma mae arianny Celeste!! Boom you would have a lot in common with others, but you wouldn't know this shit unless you meet and talk to them. Be openminded and give ppl a chance, behind every face there's a personality whether you like it or not find out I guess. But like how every movie can't please everyone, not every person can please everyone

Your mind is like beer, it's best when open
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Old 04-17-2011, 12:18 PM   #84
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I love cars and fixing them, getting hammered while camping, love weed thank god for Mary jane, dubstep house rnb rap, chicks, meeting chicks, sex, beer fuck bbt, hockey ufc motogp, motorcycles, steak lasagna fuck sushi, gym gym gym, archer entourage the office spartacus, ashlynn Brooke Emma mae arianny Celeste!! Boom you have a lot in common with most guys
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Your mind is like beer, it's best when open
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thanks for that

Logistics also plays a role in things. If you live near someone its much easier to hang out even if you don't have everything in common. People are too satisfied with the status quo and look at you funny when you approach strangers.

I notice this a lot in vancouver: every group will have some people more outgoing than others, just a fact. The problem is the less outgoing ones seem to decide what is acceptable for the group to do.
example: someone in the group will start up a random convo with a stranger and the rest of the group will look at him/her like they are weird. The outgoing person will kind of be forced to cut the convo short. Thus there group of friends never expands.

People just have their gaurds set on high because they're insecure/inexperienced. People always say they want the best/most out of life. Why not apply it to the people you choose to surround yourselves with. After all friends should be chosen not accepted for convenience sake.
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Old 04-17-2011, 07:31 PM   #85
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People always say they want the best/most out of life. Why not apply it to the people you choose to surround yourselves with. After all friends should be chosen not accepted for convenience sake.
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Old 04-17-2011, 11:00 PM   #86
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I was discussing this with a few friends the other day about why some guys are single. It's not just about the flaws about the guy, it's also the ideal women that we want to date. A lot of guys seem to have the ideal girl in their mind. Whoever or however she might actually look like or dress like.

We imagine this girl who is super hot (big boobs, nice ass, etc), lady on the street and a freak in the sheet or whatever she may be in your mind. However, when we have a shot with a girl who isn't up to our expectations, we don't want to date this girl, even though she has a lot of attributes about her that would make her a great gf.

I feel I've been guilty of this too, well initially.

I met this girl around Halloween and been talking to her for a few months. We hung out and have some meaningful conversations and my friends all thing she and I would be great together. I thought about it and she and I do have fun together. We get along great and she really tries to be interested in the stuff I do. However, all that stuff is skin deep. On the surface, I just ain't attracted to her.

She's cute, she's average built and not fat. But for some reason I can't find myself physically attracted to her.

Food for though.

On another thought. Does anyone think the reason we are single is because we try too damn hard? From reading some of Joe45's post or whatever name he goes by now, it seems he goes for broke every time he goes sarging or whatever it's call.

I've met this girl that I've been into and trying to make excuses to get her to chill. However, I don't force the issue and creep her out. I've been single for probably longer than most people that have posted on this thread, but I feel that trying too hard and being desperate or over thinking about the girl and putting her on a pedestal can only hurt your chances.
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Old 04-18-2011, 12:23 AM   #87
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^ i know what you mean. the physical attraction and chemistry has to be there.

Online dating is a great example. You meet people, and you hit it off on MSN, great conversation that are insightful, in depth but when it come down to meeting the person, BAM, it just doesn't click, no chemistry, no nothing. I'm not saying we are shallow, but sometimes it just won't work.
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Old 04-18-2011, 01:07 PM   #88
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All sentient living things judge based on appearance and "what can this do to better my existance?" if no one or living thing had standards, this world would would not sustain any life. As an extreme example, look at rats, they have no standards for what they eat or where they breed and cause disease and all sorts of bad shit. If every living thing did that, this world would be fucked and be a cluster fuck of diseases. As for preachy people talking about how shallow people are, it's natural selection at work. If you have features that someone doesn't like, they aren't going to give you a chance. It's like if a jackrabit were born with rainbow colours in the arctic, he'd probably be eaten and denied the chance to live because the features are unfavourable to the conditions.

Same shit happens everywhere in the world and I mean EVERYWHERE. People in tribal societies value women with long giraffe necks so they wear rings to stretch their necks. To some that's wrong, to others it's beauty.

In the end, no matter how technologically advanced we are, as long as we have individual thought, sentience and are composed of meaty parts, we are all biologically tied to setting standards on how we view the opposite sex and everything else. It's as natural as dying. It's pretty ignorant when people label others as being shallow when EVERY LIVING THING has their own preference on what is optimal.

Getting back to human dating, how hard you try is irrelevant because some girls think you don't try hard enough, some think you try to hard and are creepy. You just have to find a girl who has the preference of your level of trying. Next time you feel guilty of profiling a girl, just remember they're doing the same to you. Live your life how you want to live not by standards set by someone else.
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Old 04-18-2011, 01:39 PM   #89
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build an alter ego of humorous, deep, genuine, and friendly

i dont know how u can fail with that formula, even the gold diggers fall for that

but the hardest part about getting that dream girl is the initial approach/date, that shi is unnerving, like a job interview for your dream job and you know there's a dozen guys sitting in the waiting room with better resumes, you better turn into fvcking will smith or denzel washington when you open your mouth
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Old 04-18-2011, 04:01 PM   #90
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I've had many girlfriends.. the longest relationship was 2 years.

I don't really consider them flaws.. It's just who I am..
But anyway, reasons why I'm single.. (and a bit of a rant )

- I'm picky when it comes to girls' appearances. (I'm not a pig or anything.. I just can't date someone who I'm not physically attracted to.)

- I don't like girls with no career/life goals.

- I'm self-righteous.

- I'm a very busy person, (I work a full time day job, as well as music production on the side, and throw in gym time every other day) so I like my full night's sleep, meaning I don't have as much free time to spend with her as she'd like.

- I don't do relationship mind games. If I ask her what's wrong and she says nothing, I will say ok.

- Money conflicts. I have an addiction to money. I 'll admit I do alright in this area, but I hate when girls need me to pay for something because they blew all their money on another jacket that won't even fit in her overflowing closet. Not to say I'm a cheap person; on an appropriate schedule and budget, I still buy nice clothes, drive a nice car, and take her out to nice dinners. But just because I make more than her doesn't mean she doesn't need to learn how to save. I make a decent living, but I'm not a millionaire.

- I hate wasting time. Almost every girl I've dated, for some reason, wants me to sit there with them and do nothing while they're doing homework or clicking on the computer.

Maybe I'll relax and cross some things off that list in the future. But until then, I need someone as independent and driven as I am.
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Old 04-18-2011, 04:40 PM   #91
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these posts on this particular topic are getting pretty intellectual, that's ossum.

Quote:
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In the end, no matter how technologically advanced we are, as long as we have individual thought, sentience and are composed of meaty parts, we are all biologically tied to setting standards on how we view the opposite sex and everything else. It's as natural as dying. It's pretty ignorant when people label others as being shallow when EVERY LIVING THING has their own preference on what is optimal.
that's true. we eat with utensils and walk with two feet, in some other country it could be the complete opposite. whom is to decide who's right or wrong? nobody.

Quote:
Getting back to human dating, how hard you try is irrelevant because some girls think you don't try hard enough, some think you try to hard and are creepy. You just have to find a girl who has the preference of your level of trying. Next time you feel guilty of profiling a girl, just remember they're doing the same to you. Live your life how you want to live not by standards set by someone else.
"There is only one success--to be able to spend your life in your own way."

don't try to get girls, they aren't trying for you. it's like losing sleep over someone who won't lose sleep for you. put one and one together it just doesn't make sense. just live your life, spark conversations with anyone anywhere. if they're interesting, cop their number. if it works out, great. if not, like i said don't lose sleep over someone who won't lose sleep for you. you can't just live life being that easy loving, but you can live life being kind and respecting others whenever possible. lastly, don't think you're better than anyone else depite all the toys you have and the amount of zeros in your bank account.

i have more respect for a man who's busting his ass putting food on the table for his family, than some suit working in his office playing angry birds racking up $120,000 annually. in the end, keep in mind we're all human who's better off in the race doesn't matter. in the end, we're all just living to die or dying to live. empathize, no one wants to be busting their ass for the rest of their life but shit has to get done somehow.

when you understand this shit, hot chicks are still hot and great eye candy but in terms of trying to get with them it's like meh whatever. they don't know the value of a dollar, and they'll stress you the fuck out. as a result, their hotness just droppppppppps. not all, but most. why go through this? it's why i really don't want a perfect 10, but when you start to expand your mind and realize 'life' for what it is, they start to want you because you're not like the rest. i know rich people who have decent looking partners, some you would probably have to down a 6 pack. if they're happy, then that's all that matters. why bring them down? for your own self-esteem and gratification.

chicks dig maturity and that's a fact.

in a city such as vancouver, growing up thinking i've gotta get the nicest pair of jeans to get her. i need the fastest car to get her. fuck all that shit. it doesn't impress them, it's all a misconception. big nuts impress them, confidence(backbone) impress them, knowledge impresses them. half of what the other chumps are doing will keep doing what they're doing, and they will keep failing.

no nuts, no glory.
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Old 04-18-2011, 06:52 PM   #92
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^ that's some weak ass generalizations right there

learn to tame your girl, she should be your bitch after 3 months or you're not doing something right
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Old 04-18-2011, 08:08 PM   #93
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don't try to get girls, they aren't trying for you.

lastly, don't think you're better than anyone else depite all the toys you have and the amount of zeros in your bank account.
i have more respect for a man who's busting his ass putting food on the table for his family, than some suit working in his office playing angry birds racking up $120,000 annually.

in a city such as vancouver, growing up thinking i've gotta get the nicest pair of jeans to get her. i need the fastest car to get her. fuck all that shit.
no nuts, no glory.
I tried not to reply, but I couldn't help myself. I have to agree with liu13 that those generalizations are very weak. I don't mean to be rude, because I do agree with some of your points.

If you don't try for girls that aren't trying for you.. then who are you going to get..? Yes, there is the odd occasion where you meet an amazing, beautiful girl, and you two click instantly. But what are the chances of that happening? If that was the case, we'd all be dating our perfect girl.

In my opinion, your whole take on money is completely ignorant. I agree with the guy working hard for a decent paycheque deserves respect. But how do you think the guy sitting in his office making 6-figures a year got there? Yes, maybe he got brought in by someone, or was born into a rich family, which is nobody's fault. But on the other hand if he busted his ass to get through school and worked his way up to that position with that salary, I don't see what the problem is. Is he at fault for going to school and getting a high-paying job? As long as he doesn't flaunt his money like a douchebag, but that's a different story.

Your last point really depends on the girl. Some girls live for the glamour, some girls could care less. I've asked some of my female friends about this. And from their explanations: generally, a guy with money means he's gotten somewhere in life, which means he's smart, and offers a secure future. How else did he end up making that kind of money if he doesn't know anything? Yes, of course there's always exceptions, lotto winners.. rich parents.. etc. But really in the end, everyone's different and it depends on who the girl is and who you are.
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Old 04-18-2011, 08:33 PM   #94
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Maybe I'll relax and cross some things off that list in the future. But until then, I need someone as independent and driven as I am.
I've met quite a few independent and driven women... and many are single for a reason. Either they are too busy themselves for a relationship, or they want a man that is in the top 5%.
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Old 04-18-2011, 08:44 PM   #95
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I've met quite a few independent and driven women... and many are single for a reason. Either they are too busy themselves for a relationship, or they want a man that is in the top 5%.
Sounds about right. I'm not in a rush to date again. Being single does have it's perks.
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Old 04-19-2011, 12:33 AM   #96
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