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-   -   Need a New Job? What About Stirring Miso Soup? (https://www.revscene.net/forums/649551-need-new-job-what-about-stirring-miso-soup.html)

Razor Ramon HG 07-12-2011 02:59 AM

Need a New Job? What About Stirring Miso Soup?
 
Quote:

I'm in need of a shiromiso soup stirrer for part-time work. Japanese Miso soup consists of softened miso paste suspended in a hot stock called "dashi." While the miso paste easily mixes with the dashi, in time it will settle and separate. My personal preference is to enjoy a mixed (stirred) miso soup, where the paste clouds the bowl. What I'm looking for is someone (male, female and transgendered are welcome) to stand beside my table during meals and stir my miso soup so that the bowl remains cloudy while I am enjoying other delicacies. (note: miso soup is not the only thing I eat)

You will be informed (via mobile phone) where my next meal will be. You will arrive in uniform an hour ahead of my own entrance and await me in the foyer or by the hostess' stand. You will accompany my party and I to our seats and you will stand beside my table and stir my soup once it has arrived. Using subtle hand signals, I will direct you to stir the soup along the side of the table. When I am ready to eat it, a signal will inform you to place the soup in front of me. While I am eating my soup, you will stand where you were stirring, making sure that the utensil you were using does not touch the table, or any other object. If I stop eating soup, you will stir the remainder. If I am done with my soup you will remain at attention in case I order more. When the meal is over, you will leave and await your next contact.

You and I will not speak for the duration of the meal, yet my guests may at times wish to engage you in conversation. You may converse with them, but you will only speak when spoken to. Eye contact with me is unadvised.


What you'll need:

Transportation: you will need to provide your own transportation to and from the places I dine. If I am traveling outside of the greater Vancouver area, transportation assistance funds will be provided. The ideal candidate will already posses a valid drivers license.

Communication: It is essential that I am able to communicate with you at all times. While I normally enjoy a very traditional dining schedule, sometimes my exotic tastes and whims can bring me to the dinner table at strange times. Other times, it is my work that effects when and where I eat. As a part of this position, I will provide you with an Iridium 9555 Sat Phone so I may reach you when I need you. The first day you don't show up at the appointed time will be the day I repost this ad to find your replacement. If you already have a satellite-linked mobile phone for personal use, I can provide a stipend to pay for the monthly service. The ideal candidate will also be fluent in English. However, English need not be your first language and candidates who speak multiple languages will be looked upon favorably.

Physical Fitness: You will stand for the duration of the meal, so the ideal candidate will have the physical fitness to remain standing in place for as long as three (3) hours. If you arrive at the restaurant ahead of me, I wish to encounter you standing as you prepare for my entrance. A previous employee could not follow this simple rule and was summarily terminated. Please understand that while I have the utmost respect for my employees, I at no time wish to see you seated. This is not a position for someone with chronic leg/lower back pain, or someone who wishes to take breaks every 15 minutes. It is also no secret that I love the Platonic form of beauty, but I am an equal opportunity employer and I welcome cover letters, resumes/CVs and photographs from all races and sexes.

Attire: I am an important man within my community and it would be unbecoming of me to consort with men or women who dress poorly. In your cover letter, please include your measurements so I may fit you with a custom silk kimono. The right candidate will be provided a new kimono and geta each month. While in service, the kimonos are not to be worn outside of work. Once I have given you a new set, you are free to use the old set for personal use. However, please keep track of which set is currently in use. I do not wish to see old kimonos being worn.


Requisite Skills:

While I have posted this opportunity in the hospitality section, the reality is that I am open to candidates from many walks of life. While a background in Japanese cuisine is helpful, you will not be required to prepare or serve my soup. Your task will be to simply stir it while I eat. This opportunity may seem well-suited for an experienced personal assistant or executive secretary. Yet, even though I dine at some of the world's most exclusive Japanese restaurants, you will not be required to book my table. Muscular men or a female athlete may think they have the upper hand in applying, but my last miso soup stirrer was of average physical build and she served me without issue for several years before going on to pursue other ventures.


Frequently Asked Questions:

Is this a real posting? Is this opportunity for real?
--Yes, this is a real offer for part-time, contract employment. I would not have taken the time to illustrate my needs in detail if this wasn't a serious offer.

How will I be paid?
--You will be paid cash in person at the end of the last scheduled meal of the month. If for some reason that meal is delayed or canceled, you will receive your payment promptly at the beginning of the next meal.

Are there benefits?
--While this is a contract position, I am open to the idea of building a long term business relationship with the right candidate. Such discussions could include my coverage of private health care, a retirement package and other perks. While in service, the kimonos are not to be worn outside of work. The satellite-linked mobile phone is never to be used for personal calls.

How often do you eat miso soup?
--Not every meal I enjoy is Japanese cuisine. However, when I do dine at Japanese restaurants or enjoy meals from Japanese chefs at private homes, I indulge in miso soup. Normally, I enjoy miso soup during meals at least three (3) times a week.

When do you eat dinner?
--I normally sit down for dinner between 8:00pm PT and 9:00 pm PT. Dinner can last between 1-3 hours, depending on the company I am with.

How do I apply for this position?
--Please send an e-mail with your contact information as well as a photo and a cover letter detailing why you are a candidate worth my time. Please note that only those selected for a personal interview will receive a reply. Those who do not meet the physical requirements, or those who fail to include a full length photo will obviously not be contacted.
Original post

K-Dub 07-12-2011 03:02 AM

Should have made this thread w/ a poll option. I'd do it for the giggles.

noventa 07-12-2011 06:47 AM

troll. who the fuck requests photos for interviews.

46_valentinor 07-12-2011 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noventa (Post 7508831)
troll. who the fuck requests photos for interviews.

theres actually a lot of jobs out there that requires a resume along with a photo, its not that uncommon in other places such as asia.

StylinRed 07-12-2011 07:20 AM

you've got to be fucking kidding me.... i'd take the job just to punch this guy in the face for being such a pompous ass


sounds just like someone i know id think it was him if he wasn't in another country -_-


has to be trolling or just delusional

mas604 07-12-2011 11:37 AM

Update: Miso Soup Stirrer

he made an update $3000-5000 based on skill per meal lol

Meowjin 07-12-2011 11:43 AM

it sounds like that bnr34 idiot. Got banned from RS and needed somewhere else to post.

Qmx323 07-12-2011 11:46 AM

http://community.us.playstation.com/...-serious+2.jpg

Expresso 07-12-2011 11:47 AM

I don't know could be Marco? :D

Meowjin 07-12-2011 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HachiSix (Post 7509065)
I don't know could be Marco? :D

http://www.revscene.net/forums/fight...unication.html

GLOW 07-12-2011 11:56 AM

guess he found his loophole to communicate

StylinRed 07-12-2011 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mas604 (Post 7509052)
Update: Miso Soup Stirrer

he made an update $3000-5000 based on skill per meal lol


ah obvious troll now, okay, move along


Quote:

Originally Posted by MajinHurricane (Post 7509067)

wow how did i miss this thread rofl

7seven 07-12-2011 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajinHurricane (Post 7509067)

hahaha really??? He got arrested for picking up a hooker and his defense is he's trying to be batman? :facepalm::haha:

StylinRed 07-12-2011 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7seven (Post 7509106)
hahaha really??? He got arrested for picking up a hooker and his defense is he's trying to be batman? :facepalm::haha:

he was looking for catwoman ;)

MindBomber 07-12-2011 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajinHurricane (Post 7509058)
it sounds like that bnr34 idiot. Got banned from RS and needed somewhere else to post.

Lmfao exactly!!
Posted via RS Mobile

Meowjin 07-12-2011 12:54 PM

re: miso douche

ae101 07-12-2011 07:36 PM

so this is what 8 years of saunders business school got him:troll:

careboy 07-12-2011 08:08 PM

Good job,good luck!
http://www.primeaffiliate.com/track/...0.creation.jpg

ae101 07-13-2011 01:40 AM

since were on the topic of funny shit on craigslist, i might as well post this up when i was looking for a free shelves (i need a cheap one asap lol)

Quote:

RECYCLE FOR PENIS ENLARGEMENT (LOWER MAINLAND)

Date: 2011-07-12, 7:18PM PDT
Reply to: sale-gpndf-2491357135@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

if some single mom can recycle for tits i might as well do it for a cock enlargement HAHAHA .......... I WILL ALSO SELL MYSELF TO THIN SEXY WOMEN UNDER 45 ..........

Location: LOWER MAINLAND
RECYCLE FOR PENIS ENLARGEMENT

Death2Theft 07-13-2011 02:16 AM

Only people with no clue drink miso soup. It's about as complex as instant noodles. Theres nothing in it.

TOS'd 07-13-2011 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Death2Theft (Post 7509908)
Only people with no clue drink miso soup. It's about as complex as instant noodles. Theres nothing in it.

My world has been shattered.

6insomnia9 07-13-2011 03:00 AM

The wife told me about this, im like stop trolling me.

Death2Theft 07-13-2011 08:00 AM

I'm tempted to rub dog shit on this guys door handles next time I go by his car.

vafanculo 07-13-2011 08:13 AM

Only if I can stir it with my penis
Posted via RS Mobile

Gumby 07-13-2011 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vafanculo (Post 7509978)
Only if I can stir it with my penis
Posted via RS Mobile

And run the risk of scalding your penis? You're brave.


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