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07-12-2011, 02:59 AM
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#1 | | Say! Say! Say!
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Japan
Posts: 15,489
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| Need a New Job? What About Stirring Miso Soup?
Quote:
I'm in need of a shiromiso soup stirrer for part-time work. Japanese Miso soup consists of softened miso paste suspended in a hot stock called "dashi." While the miso paste easily mixes with the dashi, in time it will settle and separate. My personal preference is to enjoy a mixed (stirred) miso soup, where the paste clouds the bowl. What I'm looking for is someone (male, female and transgendered are welcome) to stand beside my table during meals and stir my miso soup so that the bowl remains cloudy while I am enjoying other delicacies. (note: miso soup is not the only thing I eat)
You will be informed (via mobile phone) where my next meal will be. You will arrive in uniform an hour ahead of my own entrance and await me in the foyer or by the hostess' stand. You will accompany my party and I to our seats and you will stand beside my table and stir my soup once it has arrived. Using subtle hand signals, I will direct you to stir the soup along the side of the table. When I am ready to eat it, a signal will inform you to place the soup in front of me. While I am eating my soup, you will stand where you were stirring, making sure that the utensil you were using does not touch the table, or any other object. If I stop eating soup, you will stir the remainder. If I am done with my soup you will remain at attention in case I order more. When the meal is over, you will leave and await your next contact.
You and I will not speak for the duration of the meal, yet my guests may at times wish to engage you in conversation. You may converse with them, but you will only speak when spoken to. Eye contact with me is unadvised.
What you'll need:
Transportation: you will need to provide your own transportation to and from the places I dine. If I am traveling outside of the greater Vancouver area, transportation assistance funds will be provided. The ideal candidate will already posses a valid drivers license.
Communication: It is essential that I am able to communicate with you at all times. While I normally enjoy a very traditional dining schedule, sometimes my exotic tastes and whims can bring me to the dinner table at strange times. Other times, it is my work that effects when and where I eat. As a part of this position, I will provide you with an Iridium 9555 Sat Phone so I may reach you when I need you. The first day you don't show up at the appointed time will be the day I repost this ad to find your replacement. If you already have a satellite-linked mobile phone for personal use, I can provide a stipend to pay for the monthly service. The ideal candidate will also be fluent in English. However, English need not be your first language and candidates who speak multiple languages will be looked upon favorably.
Physical Fitness: You will stand for the duration of the meal, so the ideal candidate will have the physical fitness to remain standing in place for as long as three (3) hours. If you arrive at the restaurant ahead of me, I wish to encounter you standing as you prepare for my entrance. A previous employee could not follow this simple rule and was summarily terminated. Please understand that while I have the utmost respect for my employees, I at no time wish to see you seated. This is not a position for someone with chronic leg/lower back pain, or someone who wishes to take breaks every 15 minutes. It is also no secret that I love the Platonic form of beauty, but I am an equal opportunity employer and I welcome cover letters, resumes/CVs and photographs from all races and sexes.
Attire: I am an important man within my community and it would be unbecoming of me to consort with men or women who dress poorly. In your cover letter, please include your measurements so I may fit you with a custom silk kimono. The right candidate will be provided a new kimono and geta each month. While in service, the kimonos are not to be worn outside of work. Once I have given you a new set, you are free to use the old set for personal use. However, please keep track of which set is currently in use. I do not wish to see old kimonos being worn.
Requisite Skills:
While I have posted this opportunity in the hospitality section, the reality is that I am open to candidates from many walks of life. While a background in Japanese cuisine is helpful, you will not be required to prepare or serve my soup. Your task will be to simply stir it while I eat. This opportunity may seem well-suited for an experienced personal assistant or executive secretary. Yet, even though I dine at some of the world's most exclusive Japanese restaurants, you will not be required to book my table. Muscular men or a female athlete may think they have the upper hand in applying, but my last miso soup stirrer was of average physical build and she served me without issue for several years before going on to pursue other ventures.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Is this a real posting? Is this opportunity for real?
--Yes, this is a real offer for part-time, contract employment. I would not have taken the time to illustrate my needs in detail if this wasn't a serious offer.
How will I be paid?
--You will be paid cash in person at the end of the last scheduled meal of the month. If for some reason that meal is delayed or canceled, you will receive your payment promptly at the beginning of the next meal.
Are there benefits?
--While this is a contract position, I am open to the idea of building a long term business relationship with the right candidate. Such discussions could include my coverage of private health care, a retirement package and other perks. While in service, the kimonos are not to be worn outside of work. The satellite-linked mobile phone is never to be used for personal calls.
How often do you eat miso soup?
--Not every meal I enjoy is Japanese cuisine. However, when I do dine at Japanese restaurants or enjoy meals from Japanese chefs at private homes, I indulge in miso soup. Normally, I enjoy miso soup during meals at least three (3) times a week.
When do you eat dinner?
--I normally sit down for dinner between 8:00pm PT and 9:00 pm PT. Dinner can last between 1-3 hours, depending on the company I am with.
How do I apply for this position?
--Please send an e-mail with your contact information as well as a photo and a cover letter detailing why you are a candidate worth my time. Please note that only those selected for a personal interview will receive a reply. Those who do not meet the physical requirements, or those who fail to include a full length photo will obviously not be contacted.
| Original post
__________________ Quote: | Owner of Vansterdam's 420th thanks. OH YEAUHHH. | Quote:
Originally Posted by 89blkcivic  Did I tell you guys black is my favourite colour? My Ridgeline is black. My Honda Fit is black. Wish my dick was black........ LOL. | | 
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07-12-2011, 03:02 AM
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#2 | | 2010 RS Top Food Critic Winner
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 5,410
Thanked 694 Times in 233 Posts
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Should have made this thread w/ a poll option. I'd do it for the giggles.
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07-12-2011, 06:47 AM
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#3 | | I STILL don't get it
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: van
Posts: 499
Thanked 174 Times in 74 Posts
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troll. who the fuck requests photos for interviews.
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07-12-2011, 07:08 AM
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#4 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 561
Thanked 250 Times in 88 Posts
Failed 24 Times in 7 Posts
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Originally Posted by noventa troll. who the fuck requests photos for interviews. | theres actually a lot of jobs out there that requires a resume along with a photo, its not that uncommon in other places such as asia.
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07-12-2011, 07:20 AM
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#5 | | I only answer to my username, my real name is Irrelevant!
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: CELICAland
Posts: 25,677
Thanked 10,395 Times in 3,918 Posts
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you've got to be fucking kidding me.... i'd take the job just to punch this guy in the face for being such a pompous ass
sounds just like someone i know id think it was him if he wasn't in another country -_-
has to be trolling or just delusional
Last edited by StylinRed; 07-12-2011 at 07:30 AM.
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07-12-2011, 11:37 AM
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#6 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 722
Thanked 143 Times in 15 Posts
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| Update: Miso Soup Stirrer
he made an update $3000-5000 based on skill per meal lol
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07-12-2011, 11:43 AM
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#7 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Richmond
Posts: 12,484
Thanked 2,091 Times in 773 Posts
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it sounds like that bnr34 idiot. Got banned from RS and needed somewhere else to post.
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07-12-2011, 11:46 AM
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#8 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Richmond
Posts: 5,066
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07-12-2011, 11:47 AM
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#9 | | Say NO to blade grinders!
Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,083
Thanked 1,256 Times in 580 Posts
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I don't know could be Marco?  | |
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07-12-2011, 11:49 AM
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#10 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Richmond
Posts: 12,484
Thanked 2,091 Times in 773 Posts
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by HachiSix I don't know could be Marco? | http://www.revscene.net/forums/fight...unication.html | |
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07-12-2011, 11:56 AM
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#11 | | I told him no, what y'all do?
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,307
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guess he found his loophole to communicate
__________________ Feedback
http://www.revscene.net/forums/showthread.php?t=611711 Quote: Greenstoner
1 rat shit ruins the whole congee
originalhypa
You cannot live the life of a whore and expect a monument to your chastity | Quote:
[22-12, 08:51]mellomandidnt think and went in straight..scrapped like a bitch
[17-09, 12:07]FastAnna glowjob
[17-09, 12:08]FastAnna I like dat
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07-12-2011, 12:17 PM
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#12 | | I only answer to my username, my real name is Irrelevant!
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: CELICAland
Posts: 25,677
Thanked 10,395 Times in 3,918 Posts
Failed 1,390 Times in 625 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by mas604 |
ah obvious troll now, okay, move along Quote:
Originally Posted by MajinHurricane | wow how did i miss this thread rofl
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07-12-2011, 12:21 PM
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#13 | | RS.net PIMP
Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver/LA
Posts: 4,898
Thanked 3,057 Times in 824 Posts
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Originally Posted by MajinHurricane | hahaha really??? He got arrested for picking up a hooker and his defense is he's trying to be batman?   | |
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07-12-2011, 12:22 PM
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#14 | | I only answer to my username, my real name is Irrelevant!
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: CELICAland
Posts: 25,677
Thanked 10,395 Times in 3,918 Posts
Failed 1,390 Times in 625 Posts
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Originally Posted by 7seven hahaha really??? He got arrested for picking up a hooker and his defense is he's trying to be batman? | he was looking for catwoman  | |
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07-12-2011, 12:25 PM
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#15 | | Wanna have a threesome?
Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Squamish
Posts: 4,889
Thanked 5,054 Times in 1,657 Posts
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by MajinHurricane it sounds like that bnr34 idiot. Got banned from RS and needed somewhere else to post. | Lmfao exactly!! Posted via RS Mobile | |
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07-12-2011, 12:54 PM
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#16 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Richmond
Posts: 12,484
Thanked 2,091 Times in 773 Posts
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07-12-2011, 07:36 PM
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#17 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: space
Posts: 3,524
Thanked 1,584 Times in 633 Posts
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so this is what 8 years of saunders business school got him 
__________________ http://i55.tinypic.com/jujz2q.gif Quote:
Originally Posted by hk20000 I went up to a cute chick and asked her if she'd let me take a photo of her for $30 she slapped me, she said to me that "I AIN'T A WHORE!"
But other than that I have seen every car on display in DTP just by cruising about in Richmond, thank you very much for collecting them together and get someone to sing a cover for "fuck you".
OH FUCK YOU OH OH OOOOH~ | Quote:
Originally Posted by Neva wtf man? what the hell kind of women do you go for? spca is for animals not dates... | | |
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07-12-2011, 08:08 PM
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#18 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: ca
Posts: 24
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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Good job,good luck!  | |
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07-13-2011, 01:40 AM
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#19 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: space
Posts: 3,524
Thanked 1,584 Times in 633 Posts
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since were on the topic of funny shit on craigslist, i might as well post this up when i was looking for a free shelves (i need a cheap one asap lol) Quote:
RECYCLE FOR PENIS ENLARGEMENT (LOWER MAINLAND)
Date: 2011-07-12, 7:18PM PDT
Reply to: sale-gpndf-2491357135@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
if some single mom can recycle for tits i might as well do it for a cock enlargement HAHAHA .......... I WILL ALSO SELL MYSELF TO THIN SEXY WOMEN UNDER 45 ..........
Location: LOWER MAINLAND
| RECYCLE FOR PENIS ENLARGEMENT
__________________ http://i55.tinypic.com/jujz2q.gif Quote:
Originally Posted by hk20000 I went up to a cute chick and asked her if she'd let me take a photo of her for $30 she slapped me, she said to me that "I AIN'T A WHORE!"
But other than that I have seen every car on display in DTP just by cruising about in Richmond, thank you very much for collecting them together and get someone to sing a cover for "fuck you".
OH FUCK YOU OH OH OOOOH~ | Quote:
Originally Posted by Neva wtf man? what the hell kind of women do you go for? spca is for animals not dates... | | |
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07-13-2011, 02:16 AM
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#20 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,310
Thanked 580 Times in 230 Posts
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Only people with no clue drink miso soup. It's about as complex as instant noodles. Theres nothing in it.
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07-13-2011, 02:30 AM
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#21 | | :inoutugh:
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: ඞ
Posts: 9,995
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Originally Posted by Death2Theft Only people with no clue drink miso soup. It's about as complex as instant noodles. Theres nothing in it. | My world has been shattered.
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07-13-2011, 03:00 AM
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#22 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: ♠
Posts: 4,847
Thanked 693 Times in 249 Posts
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The wife told me about this, im like stop trolling me.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Outreach Fuck your Mother, chump. | | |
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07-13-2011, 08:00 AM
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#23 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,310
Thanked 580 Times in 230 Posts
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I'm tempted to rub dog shit on this guys door handles next time I go by his car.
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07-13-2011, 08:13 AM
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#24 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: richmond
Posts: 2,513
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Only if I can stir it with my penis Posted via RS Mobile | |
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07-13-2011, 08:17 AM
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#25 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,388
Thanked 3,449 Times in 1,341 Posts
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Originally Posted by vafanculo Only if I can stir it with my penis Posted via RS Mobile | And run the risk of scalding your penis? You're brave.
__________________
Do Not Put Aftershave on Your Balls. -604CEFIRO
Looks like I'm gonna have some hot sex again tonight...OOPS i got the 6 pack. that wont last me the night, I better go back and get the 24 pack! -Turbo E
kinda off topic but obama is a dilf - miss_crayon
Honest to fucking Christ the easiest way to get a married woman in the mood is clean the house and do the laundry.....I've been with the same girl almost 17 years, ask me how I know. - quasi
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