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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 11-29-2011, 09:42 AM   #1
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A Guys Worst Fear...

I canít believe Iím actually typing this but a started a new relationship and first time together on sat everything was fine I reach over to get a condom and go limp right away and canít get it back up. Fuck talk about the most embarrassing moment in my life that I never thought in my wildest dreams would ever happen to me. We laughed it off and guess what last night same fricken thing happened last night except I wasnít even getting aroused and Iím speechless and honestly feeling like complete shit right now and prob the lowest I have ever felt in my entire life.

Yes Iím very nervous because the connection I have with this girl it unlike anything I have ever had with anyone before(even the 12yr relationship I just got out of in Sep) Iíve been with a couple others since then as well with no issues but Iím honestly mind blown and speechless right now and donít really know what to do. I guess on the up side the new g/f is so cool about it still wants to be with me which Iím very thankful for and shows me that she is a keeper so far.

Should I pick up little blue pills? I donít even have a family doc I dunno I just feel so ashamed right nowÖÖ

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Old 11-29-2011, 09:48 AM   #2
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tell her to use her hands to keep it warm first
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:50 AM   #3
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Are you watching too much pron?

The7even had a thread going about people with ED as a possible result of too much Pron.
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:53 AM   #4
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Quote:
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tell her to use her hands to keep it warm first
Help from her didn't work
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Are you watching too much pron?

The7even had a thread going about people with ED as a possible result of too much Pron.
No I have not been watching to much porn at all
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Old 11-29-2011, 10:01 AM   #5
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I have had Condom anxiety for a long time. If you were in a long term relationship and those little rubber hooded bastards were NOT a part of your regular sexual relationship (that was the case with me) then using those desensitizing baby stoppers really becomes a serious issue. For me personally the sensation of using a condom is pretty irritating. It got to the point that when it came time to put those little rubber bandit's on I would lose my erection as well, as I knew that personally I get very little feeling (compared to no condom) and my MIND would then just shut my erection off. Once this happens once then you have the MENTAL anxiety of it happening. Think about how your feeling about the issue right now. Now think what your body is going to do the next time it's time to sheath the sword. All your going to be doing is thinking "fuck I hope it stays hard this time" and there lies the cycle. Your own thoughts and anxiety is going to make it a self fulfilling prophecy.

The only way to get around this is to just keep on trying and DON'T STRESS! If she's a keeper (and by what you've described she is) then you should do what you did the first time and "laugh it off" Do lots of foreplay with NO EXPECTATIONS of sex. Just fool around. You'll find that O'le faithful with return and the stress of the situation will fade. Even try putting the condom on STILL WITHOUT THE EXPECTATION OF INTERCOURSE.

Do NOT go get the "little blue pills" This will physically give you an erection but mental damage you'll be doing by resorting to these can possibly make the future of your sex life even worse if you start to become dependent on them.

So in short keep in mind this is YOUR MIND that is causing this and not a physiological problem that needs to be addressed.

Good luck!

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Old 11-29-2011, 10:16 AM   #6
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I honestly think that’s the main problem because my whole last relationship I never used them what so ever and it’s completely on my mind and especially now when I’m down there taking care of biz before hand that’s all I’m thinking about is getting it up and have to grab the rubber and all the stupid BS which I shouldn’t be worried about. My mind is just so fucked up right now I just don’t know how to get over the hurdle so I’m thinking trying out the “little blue pills” might be a way to kick start my self if that’s safe to say?

I just don't know how to get my brain into this mentally and let this go and be able to relax about this dammit.

I just never thought I would be in a position like this and I’m beyond amazed how unbelievable this girl is to be totally cool about everything so far.
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Old 11-29-2011, 10:27 AM   #7
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its crazy to think so many guys have this problem,

condom or no condom, I just wanna get the fuck in there, and when I see pussy infront of me all focus is now on the goal at hand.

you might not be sexually attracted to her? or your just too intense into the relationship for your own good, think of her as a one night stand and you couldnt care less about how you perform or how she performs, or if you guys will be together in a month, OR perhaps your not over your old relationship and feeling some sort of guilt?

think of her only as a sexual object, and the condom as your weapon of safety.

She wont stand for this for too long though, she might think its her fault soon.

Also have you tried talking to her about it?
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Old 11-29-2011, 10:27 AM   #8
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To be honest it seems like your the only one that's worried about it That's the key. If she was making a deal about it then it would be 10x worse but it's only you. Like I said the pills will get you up because that's what they do but they won't get your mind in the right state. It took me awhile to get over the mental aspect.

Just do what I said about fooling around without the expectation of sex. Even make a rule before hand, like a game. "No matter how bad we want other we're not going to have sex tonight." Agree to it before hand and make it a point of trying your hardest to get the other person to break the agreement. It's fun and it's light hearted and there is no stress.

Fix the mind and the penis will follow.

Berz out.
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Old 11-29-2011, 01:45 PM   #9
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happened a couple times when i was drunk, feels shitty
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Old 11-29-2011, 01:53 PM   #10
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I canít believe Iím actually typing this but a started a new relationship and first time together on sat everything was fine I reach over to get a condom and go limp right away and canít get it back up. Fuck talk about the most embarrassing moment in my life that I never thought in my wildest dreams would ever happen to me. We laughed it off and guess what last night same fricken thing happened last night except I wasnít even getting aroused and Iím speechless and honestly feeling like complete shit right now and prob the lowest I have ever felt in my entire life.

Yes Iím very nervous because the connection I have with this girl it unlike anything I have ever had with anyone before(even the 12yr relationship I just got out of in Sep) Iíve been with a couple others since then as well with no issues but Iím honestly mind blown and speechless right now and donít really know what to do. I guess on the up side the new g/f is so cool about it still wants to be with me which Iím very thankful for and shows me that she is a keeper so far.

Should I pick up little blue pills? I donít even have a family doc I dunno I just feel so ashamed right nowÖÖ
I thanked you because I respect that you have the guts and are brave enough to post your insecurities on the net. It takes quite the nerve to do so. Especially the fact that you could have went confidential but you chose to ask publicly shows that you want good feedback and the only way you can do so is to build the connection with us by asking us directly.
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Old 11-29-2011, 03:00 PM   #11
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I thanked you because I respect that you have the guts and are brave enough to post your insecurities on the net. It takes quite the nerve to do so. Especially the fact that you could have went confidential but you chose to ask publicly shows that you want good feedback and the only way you can do so is to build the connection with us by asking us directly.
I've always been the type of person to have nothing to hide, yes itís the internet and I even know people personally on this site but this isnít a new issue and guys have this problem all the time. The way I look at it is if someone that is having this same issue I have and they use the advice to help them selves well itís great in my eyes cause I sure donít want anyone to go through what Iíve been going through.

Someone was nice enough to shoot me a msg and said the ďblue pillĒ was what they needed for the kick start and I think right now Iím going to take the route as well right now. If that doesnít work after a couple times Iím thinking I need to hit up a doctor for sure.
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Old 11-29-2011, 03:06 PM   #12
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I've got lots of emails about those little blue pills. I can forward them to you if you have a Nigerian bank account.
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Originally posted by Iceman_19 you should have tried to touch his penis. that really throws them off.
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Old 11-29-2011, 03:24 PM   #13
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I've got lots of emails about those little blue pills. I can forward them to you if you have a Nigerian bank account.
It so happens I have 3-4 buddies that have access so thats no problem at all

I jut hope it works
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Old 11-29-2011, 03:45 PM   #14
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If your going that route I suggest Cialis over Viagra. From personal experience the Cialis is much more effective and quicker to do the job.

Berz out.
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Old 11-29-2011, 04:30 PM   #15
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Maybe try fapping with a rubber on to get used to the sensation? Combine it with a fleshlight or Tenga egg
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Old 11-29-2011, 04:51 PM   #16
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not sure if srs.jpg

Do you exercise often? I find squatting and deadlifting weights makes me want to have sex after.
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Old 11-29-2011, 04:52 PM   #17
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Yeah I'm serious. I don't have that issue, but if I did that is the first thing I would try. Nobody wants to use a rubber, so you just have to get used to it if you haven't used one for a decade.
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Old 11-29-2011, 04:56 PM   #18
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rubber kills my boner too
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:10 PM   #19
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Maybe try fapping with a rubber on to get used to the sensation? Combine it with a fleshlight or Tenga egg
I actually did that with no issue at all with no problem what so ever. I think my issue right now is my mind frame gotta think positive and stop worrying about it is my key right now.
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:10 PM   #20
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rubber kills my boner too...and im a girl.
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:28 PM   #21
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First, I want to commend you for putting that out there. That takes balls, so we know those are in order

I have an issue that I call my 'ethical sub-routine'. Basically, third time's the charm. I am physically(well, mentally, but it manifests physically) incapable of a one night, or two night stand, but a 3 night stand? I'll fuck her head clean off. Especially after 2 nights of a limp performance, I'm ready to fuck to kill.

I don't really know what the problem is..I think its a lot of things. You're with a new person, so you are managing the expectations of being great in bed, anxiety of wanting to be everything she wants, and blah blah blah there's a lot of pressure we can put on ourselves. Yeah, some guys can walk in there and be dtf in 10 seconds...then there's the rest of us.

I learned to adapt. It's happened with everyone, so I know what the deal is, and when we're there, and I can't be all that I can be, I've learned to take her mind off it by being 'there' for 'her'-y'kno?

I've learned to chew with a vengeance. I'm gonna tell you, when she's on her 4th orgasm, she doesn't care that she didn't get dick.

You can pill your way there too. I tried it once just to avoid that fucking conversation.

"Oh, yeah-that. I'll tell ya hon, it ain't gonna happen tonight, or tomorrow night, but Thursday? I can totally screw you on Thursday."

You are not alone.
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:55 PM   #22
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everyone that's a normal guy will always go thru this. YES, even if you have the hottest girl you have ever banged, getting ready for a 3some etc... you will go thru the stage of not getting the boner you want cause either you had too much to drink, drugs or simply just not in the mood etc...
try to switch to a diff brand of condoms and start off with your favorite position or your cum position right after you put on the condom helps.
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Old 11-29-2011, 06:39 PM   #23
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happened to me once.. lets just say i learned my lesson and not gonna fap 3 times in the morning of potential action nights..

got head.. didnt blow.. slapped on the rubber and my dick like melted after i stuck it in..
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Old 11-29-2011, 07:01 PM   #24
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Could be worse. You could have a daughter.
Personally that is my worst fear...
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Old 11-29-2011, 07:03 PM   #25
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apparently ED is a big problem with youth today because of the amount of porn that they watch.

There r pills u can take in conjunction with not watching porn to help you get back to normal... i heard about it on the radio.
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