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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 12-25-2011, 04:48 PM   #1
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[Confidential] First time didnt go as well as expected

The following post is from an anonymous member. If they would like to reply to any replies please pm me.



True or False: smoking leads to desensitization

so last night i finally got together with a girl for the first time and things didnt go as well as i expected, the sex lasted 30-45mins (wasnt really keeping time but it went on for LONG) and i had to resort to rubbing it out. now i dont know if its because its my first time and im scared or is it because of my chain smoking menthol cigarettes (a pack a day) leading to desensitization down there.

a) i was afraid the condom would slip off the whole time
b) i was afraid i wouldnt last because it was my first time
c) it could be that i had a hard on for a long time that it lead to numbness before the session started, its like the whole time i didnt "feel much" down there

the girl said that maybe i smoke too much thats y its taking so long to finish, lol

right now im happy and sad its not funny...

please discuss

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Old 12-25-2011, 04:52 PM   #2
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I know smoking causes impotency. You have a problem keeping an erection? maybe thats why you're having trouble finishing off.
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Old 12-25-2011, 05:00 PM   #3
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Question is, was it good for her? Hopefully she's glad it wasn't over in 30 seconds.

It could just be the stress of the first time with someone new... might take a few times for the two of you to match either other's "groove".

I wouldn't worry about it unless it becomes an ongoing problem (and only really if SHE has a problem with it - if she likes being slammed for a half hour solid like some porn star, you're golden!).

Oh, and... regardless of whether it's a factor, you should quit smoking anyway. It's bad for you :P
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Old 12-25-2011, 05:01 PM   #4
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Nah, some guys just take longer to finish than others and having difficulty reaching orgasm can be a symptom of nervousness, just like the inability to become erect. You have nothing to worry about, it's totally normal and being able to maintain an erection for an extended period of time is much better than pre-mature ejaculation like most young men experience.

Congrats on your first time, keep practicing, after you have a bit more experience under your belt it will be much more enjoyable for the both of you. Keep in mind, it's more difficult for some people to reach that point with a girl than it is with their hand, many guys have a single position they're able to finish in.

Last edited by MindBomber; 12-25-2011 at 06:57 PM.
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Old 12-25-2011, 05:51 PM   #5
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You're too used to masturbation.

It took me a while before I learned how to finish (particularly with a condom.) But, in the meantime, the women I was with were patient and had lots of fun.
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Old 12-25-2011, 06:21 PM   #6
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just relax.
funny thing is, guys are more prone to the mind. What I meant is that how hard we are and our ability to come is all in the mind.
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Old 12-25-2011, 06:23 PM   #7
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its all in your head...

you gotta be thinking about sexy things while your doing it.. I know it sounds rude or weird, but... you gotta play with her while your doing it too.. Mix up your positions also.. doing it in 1 position is boring..
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Old 12-25-2011, 06:23 PM   #8
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Surprised nobody's asked for pics of the girl yet...
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Old 12-25-2011, 09:32 PM   #9
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I doubt it has anything to do with smoking. If it helps you feel better I couldn't pop one out my first time either.

Maybe try using a different kind of condoms. The first time I bought these really shitty ribbed Valentines day condoms and couldnt feel anything. The purple durex always do the trick.
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Old 12-26-2011, 01:53 PM   #10
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The following is a reply from the anonymous Revscene member

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I know smoking causes impotency. You have a problem keeping an erection? maybe thats why you're having trouble finishing off.
no i didnt have a problem keeping an errection, infact it was rock hard for the entire time, what i had a problem with is finishing/couming

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Question is, was it good for her? Hopefully she's glad it wasn't over in 30 seconds.
i guess it was good for her? i kept asking throughout and everytime i asked she just had this evil smirk on her face and nodded lol

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Nah, some guys just take longer to finish than others and having difficulty reaching orgasm can be a symptom of nervousness, just like the inability to become erect. You have nothing to worry about, it's totally normal and being able to maintain an erection for an extended period of time is much better than pre-mature ejaculation like most young men experience.
Since this was my first time, i thought i would finish off very quickly, but in fact i felt like i had trouble finishing lol, its like i didnt feel it and became numb

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You're too used to masturbation.
this could be true lol

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just relax.
funny thing is, guys are more prone to the mind. What I meant is that how hard we are and our ability to come is all in the mind.
i hope it is all psychological and nothing physical to do with myself

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Surprised nobody's asked for pics of the girl yet...
N
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Old 12-26-2011, 05:07 PM   #11
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being the first time, ima have to blame the condom. Now i could be wrong, but im saying this from first hand experience. My first time i used a condom (duh, bitches be crazy naw mean? lol) and i felt that it took away a LOT of the feeling (comparing it to masturbating), thus the first time i did it..we went for so long without me finishing that we kinda just stopped lol she enjoyed it tho so eh i couldn't complain i guess
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Old 12-26-2011, 05:58 PM   #12
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don't jerk off for a few weeks then go at it again. you'll be able to finish i'm pretty sure, if not then try a different condom.
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Old 12-26-2011, 06:08 PM   #13
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Quote:
a) i was afraid the condom would slip off the whole time
b) i was afraid i wouldnt last because it was my first time
c) it could be that i had a hard on for a long time that it lead to numbness before the session started, its like the whole time i didnt "feel much" down there
sounds like it's all in your head bro.

the condom isn't going to fall off unless you go soft and sex is all about enjoyment, you can't enjoy sex if you're constantly worried. Being you're first time, you're not going to fuck like a porn star.

If you feel numbness or no feeling, the condom might be a wrong fit (no homo)
its all about experimenting, I've tried so many brands with my girlfriend (even flavored condoms, wtf i know lol) and it's all about preference. Another thing you can do is change the position, it's always fun to grab the girl and throw her on his side/stomach and just go from there. Some girls like it rough so you really just have to get out of your comfort zone when it comes to sex.

maybe try doing it with some music in the background to set the mood (I can't count how plays my Avant CDs got) dim the lights and start with some foreplay until you're both horny and then do it like they do on the discovery channel.
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Old 12-26-2011, 06:14 PM   #14
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smoke some weed and try again.

Is sorta of like being high and doing things make it more enjoyable........
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Old 12-26-2011, 06:21 PM   #15
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smoke some weed and try again.

Is sorta of like being high and doing things make it more enjoyable........
Haha I remember trying that the first time and we ended up going to eat instead because we were starving
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Old 12-27-2011, 09:42 PM   #16
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Haha I remember trying that the first time and we ended up going to eat instead because we were starving
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Old 12-28-2011, 01:45 AM   #17
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i remember my first time i bought the cheapest durex condom *cus it was on sale* and it felt so fuckign tight i felt nothing.
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Old 12-28-2011, 02:57 AM   #18
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smoke some weed and try again.

Is sorta of like being high and doing things make it more enjoyable........
iunno if it was me but when me n my ex smoked up once and had sex it felt fucking unbelievable
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Old 01-02-2012, 06:31 AM   #19
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Atleast it wasn't the other way around? Finishing longer is better than finishing in a flash.
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Old 01-19-2012, 02:21 AM   #20
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smoking weed just make u last even longer
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Old 01-19-2012, 03:04 PM   #21
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i remember my first time. i fucked the girl for 4 hours straight. my dick was so sore after. and my crotch was bruised the next day.

it was major blue balls until i shot my load i swear like 6 feet. god damn.

ill never forget that session. ever.

lol you'll be be crying a few months from now when you blow your load in 15-30minutes.
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Old 01-19-2012, 06:07 PM   #22
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My first time I busted in less then a minute


WOW I'm happy thats over with. Some people are just different the more you are with someone the easier it is and more comfortable it feels and you get more of a grove of the person if ya know what I mean.

Don;t worry at all and try to be open with it, it's nothing to be ashamed with at all.
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Old 01-21-2012, 10:41 PM   #23
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i think it's just a stage fright thing.

my first time i had sex, i couldn't cum either. in fact, i went soft on the girl and i just told her i can't cum.

the second time lasted about 45 min, it was ok but i ended it rubbing it off.

it's all about keeping your mind on the sex and not think of anything else.
find a part on her body that attracts you and stare at it. for me, it's the neck and shoulder area.
it's also important that the girl is patient for you to get there.
the rhythm of your penetration is important too i think.

i fucked a girl once where she was rushing me to finish like she got what she needed and was telling me to hurry up, it was a complete turn off. never saw her again after that night.

first few times is just anxiety getting at you. don't let it traumatize you, it's normal.
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Old 01-26-2012, 03:02 PM   #24
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Quote:
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smoke some weed and try again.

Is sorta of like being high and doing things make it more enjoyable........
More like, smoke some weed.. and you won't even remember to be worried. LOLZ!
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Old 01-26-2012, 07:17 PM   #25
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Off and on topic. What's a good condom recommendation? Just while this topic is up I might as well ask as a curious little boy LOL
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