First thing that went through my mind, "will I be able to sleep tonight?"

Thanks bro, I figured if we both acted like immature teenagers, the damage would of been deeper.

I just wanted more perspective on the situation as to how it was handled.

The trust deteriorated over time because of her actions. (checking my phone, accusations) but were things I could deal with because I felt safe in my apartment.

I do understand her logic about the other set of keys, but it is my place and I didn't want to compromise my security for her "just to have my key."

Wow never knew those existed thanks bro.

I can see why she would be pissed that some girl she doesn't know has a key to your place. I can put myself in those shoes and I would be put out too.

That said she's behaving like a child and her behavior up to that point is totally unexcusable. Hell even her reaction to that is. Date someone with conflict resolution skills next time.

Yeah the keys situation really pissed me off, I knew if I lost control at that time, I would if never got them back.

I'm just angry as to how she's dealing with the problems. Instead of acting like an adult, she chooses to let her immature colors shine. I know I'm not exactly right but she's already making assumptions before I can explain.

She knows my friend but doesn't like any of my girl friends. They've hung out before so she's aware of our relationship.

It's only been lately she's acting out of character.

her fault, is her immaturity, and of course insecurity (semi legitimate insecurity).

your fault, is believing anyone would think a member of the opposite sex is just a long time friend, regardless of what the real situation is.

May I ask how old she is? I'm assuming right now that you're between 28-33ish since you seem quite established with your own apartment and everything. If she's around your age give or take one, two or three years, she might be getting impatient (if you two have been dating for 2+ years).

I'm not quite there yet, but I've heard from many of my older girlfriends that are 25+ that they've hit this stage where they feel impatient and want to gravitate towards marriage, with moving in together, getting a key and what not, as a sign of "yeah, we're serious and we're going to get married in the near future" None of my friends have acted like your gf did, but maybe thats why she's been overly psycho? She's not getting any younger after all :P

The first part I can agree.

The second part I think is a grey area.

Which girl would want to date a guy with no female friends?

I've never had an issue in any of my relationships with my partner believing a member of the opposite is just a friend.

It's a simple matter of maturity and trust, setting aside jealousy and childish assumptions shouldn't be a challenge for an intelligent person.

She is 25 and I'm actually 24.

I can see what you mean but I have no potential plans of tying the knot. I try to avoid talking about the future because it's unpredictable and full of empty promises. The key does symbolize a stronger commitment but I believe we're growing at different paces.

How would you deal with your girlfriend (if you were a male) pursuing a deeper commitment and you weren't ready? (besides just telling her)

Tell her that the whole stealing your keys thing is Proving as to why you are unsure of giving up your secure space to her. A relationship wont last without personal space and i think she needs to understand this

She doesn't trust you.
No trust, no relationship.

Phone grabbing, key stealing, anger, yelling etc is abusive. She needs professional help.

Girlfriends are like the city bus, there will always be another one along in a while.

Change the locks then dump her.

Good luck.

That is part of the reason and also because I don't believe she is entitled to a set of keys. My apartment is somewhere I want to be comfortable and I don't want that to change.

I believe one of the reasons she is acting out is her friends influencing her. My girlfriend tells me her friend's boyfriends give them keys to their places, let them use their cars whenever they want and even knows their debit codes. I told that's irrelevant what they do because I am not them. I will manage my personal belongings the way I want.

But if the next one is going to be the same I would rather pass. At least for a while because it seems like I'm dealing with unnecessary stress. One of my previous ex would harass me at work calling constantly and we had to take the legal route. It was a terrible experience.

No one is "entitled" to your keys ever any how. You're not obligated to give them to your partner until you're ready and if they can't deal with that they should screw off.

Also we can all be grown up about it. Just because there may be an attraction doesn't mean you'll pounce at opportunity.

Do they think they are married all ready?? :suspicious:

No Girlfriend of mine has gotten my bank info or my car fuck that shit, If i trust her after a long time then maybe my car but not my bank info

Very true. Unless they paid for the space, they have no say. She just basing my actions to her other friends boyfriends and "what she thinks is right."

They probably do even though they may have gone out less than our relationship. I think some guys are just like that and the P is their krytonite. Anything their girlfriends want they get as long as she's returning the favor. Sex is a powerful tool and some girls know how to use it.

I don't often let my girlfriend use my car because I know her driving style and it would just lead to problems. Not really in the mood to deal with her damaging my car and hurting someone else. My parents are the only ones with my banking information because well, there my parents. I find it totally unorthodox for my girlfriend to know my banking information. It's not like I don't spend money on her, she gets her share of gifts. Her argument is "she just wants to know."

^ agreed. i haven't had any one say they just wanted to know how deep my pockets are :S thats just odd to me

What would u do if
1. Bunch of guys crash at your gf's place WITH Her CLOTHES!!!
2. A random guy you never heard/meet/seen have keys to your gf apartment. But she said she only have 1 key.
3. When a guy calls my gf , she try to hdie it by not talking to him when I am around.

Now how would you feel/act? To be honest I think you are at fault on this as well.
1. You should ever let any girls into your aparment drunk and change into your clothes. At least call your gf to let her know this and why you are doing this before hand. Is call respect.
2. Should never lie to your gf in the first place. Just let her know the keys you give it to a very close friend for safe keeping.
3. No.3 would never happen if you don't do No1 and No2.
So don't try to brush it off like it is all her fault. You could have easily prevented this from happening. Beside what's the big deal giving your gf keys to your apartment. Sure she might leave a few things here and there, but she still does it now anyways (don't tell me your gf doens't her slipperys, clothes, teddies....... in your aparement). Just let her know if she wants to come over she is welcoem but she needs to give you a call first. i am sure she will respect.

very immature plus a stage 5 clinger status. she probably had previous experience of an ex cheating on her.

Thanks for the very valid points.

That was the kind of perspective I was missing.

She does leave some of her things around like you mentioned and she does usually call when she's coming over.

hmm