Friend put our friendship on the line over her bf (Serious post) **need advice** Thanks for all the advices and for sharing all your experiences, this thread got a little out of hand as some users thought i was being a troll so i'm going to close this thanks to everyone who contributed, even to you guys Noir, Razor Ramon etc all were valuable advices :thumbs: |
i was in this same situation too. A girl that i met in HS and i became close friends, we talked a lot n hung out and what not. Eventually she got a bf but nothing really changed between us and i guess he got insecure. She basically told me the SAME things your friend is telling you, and she cut me out of her life. bbm/txt/fb just everything lol i said to myself well fuck you then, if you can't keep a friendship between cus of your bf then fine by me, i dont need you in my life. Just cut her out man, she doesn't know what she's missing. Relationships dont always last forever, but friendships do |
As much as your intentions are just to be a good friend, you have to remember that she is in a relationship and you are of the opposite sex. How do you think your GF would feel that you are texting this girl or trying to go to the mall or hang out with this girl? Be a good friend and take a step back and let her know you are there for her when she needs you but don't be too needy and actually give her some space. If she feels like you are a friend worth keeping, she will stay in contact with you. If not, then move on and get a GF. |
Maybe she values her boyfriend more than your friendship with her? It makes sense that some guys will get offended or threatened when their girlfriend is so close with another guy. As a form of defense, they will voice their opinions with their girlfriend and make them choose between you and him. The fact that she hasn't responded to your messages/phone calls shows her commitment to her relationship and I don't think you should be angry at her for that. The reason being like you said, she's just a friend and the feeling is obviously reciprocated back. Again, I am not saying what she is doing is right but you have to applaud a girl that respects her boyfriend's insecurities enough to work on improving the relationship. Chances are if your friend and her boyfriend have a fight or break up? she'll be back. Keep your head up OP |
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Same thing will happen for you. My best advice to you is go out and find a girl friend. |
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All this tells me otherwise. |
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Hey man real friends stick by you all the way. I hate it when people are 'fair weather' friends. When times are tough they expect you to be there for them when they weren't for you. These people you shouldn't associate with. I think that you should leave your friend alone. If she doesn't want to be your friend don't waste your time. It's not like you're asking for her world or anything maybe an hour or two to hang out. If she can't do that then what makes you think she'd be there for you when you're in trouble? |
^ :lawl: |
I've been in the exact same situation you're currently in bro, I can sympathize with the predicament and completely understand what you're going through right now. The unfortunate reality is there's nothing more you can do, aside from hope she comes to her senses and ignores the jealous boyfriend. Your friendship clearly meant something to her, because she maintained the relationship with you despite it continually being a significant issue with the boyfriend. At a certain point however, even many strong willed people snap and give up friends to maintain relationships. Fortunately, girls willing to bend to the pressure of an insecure boyfriend and give up a good friend are in the minority. |
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this guy is in serious denial if you had no interest in her romantically, why would you even give a shit? go find another friend, there are millions of them out there |
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But don't go through her friends to try to contact her. Give her some time with this dude. If things go well, she will message you back. Back when I first started my current wife, all her friends were warning her to be wary of me and how they had a bad vibe against me. Well, 12 years later we are happily married and she still sees most of these friends once in a few months. I make it a point not to join them but I give her enough space and she appreciates it. One more thing, txting and then deleting it means that it is something in the wrong and is ashamed to be caught with. ie me txting a girl for a rendevous. It's like a child sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar and then trying to hide all the evidence that it ever happened. Not cool in a mature relationship. |
Only you would really know, but it does sounds like you have feelings for this friend of yours...a little more than being frriends I think it's best to put some distance between yourself and herself right now (which I guess she is doing). If it is meant to be, it's meant to be... |
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obviously you judged wrong, she dropped you the second a bf came along. and if you were a good judge, shouldnt have a problem finding another bff |
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