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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.

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Old 03-29-2012, 01:51 PM   #1
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How to get arrested for wearing a Canucks jersey.

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This year, the city will actively discourage a large, centralized public celebration with the following measures, should the Vancouver Canucks reach the Stanley Cup final series:

All licensed establishments and liquor outlets in Vancouver will be prohibited from selling or serving alcohol to anyone for the duration of the series.

Pubs that remain open will be prohibited from showing the games on TV.

SkyTrain service will be limited to 7:30 p.m. on game nights.

Special police enforcement teams will patrol major streets pre-emptively, arresting anyone wearing a Canucks jersey.

These measures will be accompanied by a “Just Watch the Game at Home” public information campaign to be developed by city communications staff. Vancouver’s Chief of Police has already taken the lead on a campaign with similar messaging: “Don’t come downtown.”

These measures will be accompanied by a “Just Watch the Game at Home” public information campaign to be developed by city communications staff. Vancouver’s Chief of Police has already taken the lead on a campaign with similar messaging: “Don’t come downtown.”

These extreme measures may rekindle the popular media myth that Vancouver is a “No Fun City.” In anticipation of this we are encouraging smaller, “neighbourhood celebrations” hosted by community centres, neighbourhood houses and other community associations. Among the events planned:

Lantern workshops with participants encouraged to free-associate and create a representation of what hockey means to them

Story-sharing Circles with the emphasis on the value of team play, alternative dispute resolution, and consensus-building

Colourful murals depicting the history of the Vancouver Canucks (with all references to riots omitted)

Anti-hockey-violence collage workshops

Presentations by some of the city’s most accomplished arena refrigeration technicians

Yoga for hockey

Planting “Canuck Gardens” in existing community gardens aimed at educating children about the value of nutrition in sport and not rioting

...

As well as events planned at city facilities, we are encouraging neighbours to “Catch Canuck Fever” and organize community celebrations of their own. These celebrations must, however, remain within the bounds of the city’s effort to maintain public order.

Therefore the following provisions will apply:

Screenings of all final series games in private residences will be limited to family members and immediate neighbours only.

...

For any other gathering which includes the live-screening of a game, an application must be submitted in writing to the city’s Chief Licence Inspector no less than 60 days prior to the planned event. All applicants must provide proof of liability insurance, and have successfully completed a recognized first-aid program. In addition, all applicants will be subject to a criminal record check. This application includes a non-refundable processing fee of $500.

Games may only be screened on televisions of 42 inches or less (measured diagonally.)

Buzzkill for the Canucks’ next shot at the Cup - The Globe and Mail


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Old 03-29-2012, 02:01 PM   #2
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Is this supposed to be an early April Fool's joke?

EDIT: I like how the council started off about the riot, "which was in no way our fault."
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:10 PM   #3
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Sounds like an article fitting of The Onion.
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:11 PM   #4
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"SkyTrain service will be limited to 7:30 p.m. on game nights"

WTF, is that mean they slow down the service until 7:30pm?

Skytrain stns are gonna be packed eventually...
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:12 PM   #5
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That would be awesome walking down the road minding your own business wearing your Canucks jersey and you get tackled and arrested because of that. That won't and could never happy but I really enjoyed how that article took it to the extreme.
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:15 PM   #6
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Special police enforcement teams will patrol major streets pre-emptively, arresting anyone wearing a Canucks jersey.
How is that no violating the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms? lol
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:19 PM   #7
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LOL can't tell if somebody missed the spoiler below the article
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:19 PM   #8
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read the 4th sentence and realized its bull.... 7:30 pm skytrain? more like the government kicking the police departments ass if that happens LOL.. no $$$$
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:20 PM   #9
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Further down the article, they list their event plans. Of course, all I can do is shake my head and mutter, "fucking hippies".


Quote:
Lantern workshops with participants encouraged to free-associate and create a representation of what hockey means to them

Story-sharing Circles with the emphasis on the value of team play, alternative dispute resolution, and consensus-building

Colourful murals depicting the history of the Vancouver Canucks (with all references to riots omitted)

Anti-hockey-violence collage workshops

Presentations by some of the city’s most accomplished arena refrigeration technicians

Yoga for hockey

Planting “Canuck Gardens” in existing community gardens aimed at educating children about the value of nutrition in sport and not rioting

It has been suggested that hockey games be screened at civic buildings such as arenas and community centres to facilitate a “shared experience.” At this time, staff does not support this as an option because of the potential for citywide “mini-riots.”

As well as events planned at city facilities, we are encouraging neighbours to “Catch Canuck Fever” and organize community celebrations of their own. These celebrations must, however, remain within the bounds of the city’s effort to maintain public order.

EDIT: Also this at the end of the article:
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With the combination of additional enforcement, and ample opportunity for neighbourhood-focused celebrations, we are confident we will not see a repeat of the public disorder and wanton destruction of property that occurred in last year’s final series.

It has been suggested that despite all of these measures, drunken young men in hockey jerseys may spontaneously gather in the downtown core, thus setting the stage for another riot.

We see no need to plan for any such eventuality
(not really, but this whole article riles me up)
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:28 PM   #10
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Just think we would start rioting because of the rules not to riot
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:34 PM   #11
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It's a sad statement of what's going on when people actually believe this article to be true...
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:34 PM   #12
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^^I would riot if that shit ever tried happening, and I'm not even a huge crazy Canucks fan, that's just eliminating all our rights.
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:47 PM   #13
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this is fucking auschwitz.
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:55 PM   #14
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It's a sad statement of what's going on when people actually believe this article to be true...
Admittedly, it got me, intitially. Other than the columnist, there wasn't any indication on the page that it was a satirical opinion piece. I expect this to wade through the blogs as a news article, with outpouring of rage and toungue clucking.
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Old 03-29-2012, 03:09 PM   #15
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Clearly this article was written by a Bruins fan.
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Old 03-29-2012, 03:21 PM   #16
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I heard on the radio that there will be no public screening in downtown though...
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Old 03-29-2012, 03:26 PM   #17
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was watching the news the other day and i think it was Robertson who said there are events being planned and the police will be prepared this year as a result the downtown businesses are fuming
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Old 03-29-2012, 03:29 PM   #18
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The council is doing some solid trolling
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Old 03-30-2012, 12:30 AM   #19
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Old 03-30-2012, 01:21 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Santofu View Post
"SkyTrain service will be limited to 7:30 p.m. on game nights"

WTF, is that mean they slow down the service until 7:30pm?

Skytrain stns are gonna be packed eventually...
I don't quite understand this. So people who go to the arena to watch the game HAVE to drive? Last time I checked games start quite often after 6-7PM. Or someone like myself who uses the skytrain for getting around can't use it after 7:30 on a game night? Seriously? We need new leadership in city hall and the police dpt. Chu needs to go as does mayor moonbeam. This is ridiculous.
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Old 03-30-2012, 01:24 AM   #21
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OK, I get it. Fake.

This is what basically tipped me off, because the Skytrain thing could totally happen.


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Therefore the following provisions will apply:

Screenings of all final series games in private residences will be limited to family members and immediate neighbours only.

...

For any other gathering which includes the live-screening of a game, an application must be submitted in writing to the city’s Chief Licence Inspector no less than 60 days prior to the planned event. All applicants must provide proof of liability insurance, and have successfully completed a recognized first-aid program. In addition, all applicants will be subject to a criminal record check. This application includes a non-refundable processing fee of $500.

Games may only be screened on televisions of 42 inches or less (measured diagonally.)
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Old 03-30-2012, 01:26 AM   #22
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When it got to the skytrain part I was like

Then when it said you can get arrested for wearing a Canuck jersey I knew it was a article
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:05 AM   #23
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Could possibly happen if they suddenly went retarded.
Still, dafuq.
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:44 AM   #24
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this is so retarded... how come the fans, the good ones, get punished for something that the mayor and police didn't properly prepare for the year before?

well, i shouldnt say the police; they do a great job(the vpd)... but still; this ruling is ridiculous
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:58 AM   #25
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60 days application? So these applications should be pouring in now.

42" TV? LOL
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