No Matter What...

[Neoxphuse]

Can anybody relate to this? No matter what you do, it never seems to work out.

I've been in this phase for the last couple of months; whether it be a relationship, work, etc. You put all this effort in it. And in the end, you still get screwed. Of course, no fault of your own.

Days and moments seem to blend in, like a wind gust blowing up dirt. You think and think of a way out and appears to be no way out.

Maybe I'm speaking in riddles, but fuck, life is a riddle.

What to do when you feel like you can't get it done, even though you tried?

[dinosaur]

[Gridlock]

Yeah, in the span of 2 months I quit the job, went to thailand and dumped the girlfriend.

Yes. In that order.

I call it "cashing in".

[Retrac]

Sounds like your stuck in a rut! Try changing your life to what you want it to be. Like the saying dress for the job you want, not the one you're stuck working at. Gradual changes can make a large change.

[Neoxphuse]

My job is fine, I have no issues with it.

Just with life in general. You put all your effort into making things the best they can, you still get fucked over. It's just small things adding up over time and creating a big whiplash.

Maybe I need to take a break or destress.

[BrRsn]

life is repeatedly getting fucked over. There's many instances in everyone's life when you think shit can't get any worse and surprise, surprise it does. That's life, roll with it. There will always be ups and downs.

When I feel like I can't get it done even though I worked my ass off, I take a step back from the situation. Take a long shower or drive and just think. What is messing you up? The things we do daily are infinitely complex, sometimes failing and breaking the thing you need to do down into several small steps is the key to success. It is very easy to get overwhelmed by the complexity of life; there have been times when I've had panic attacks and stayed wide awake for 2-3 days straight because I was so overwhelmed and could not sleep. The only thing that helps is:

1)Break it down into a few steps/levels you need to do/'unlock' before achieving your big goal
2)work hard for each small achievement, and applaud your own efforts after every successful achievement/level is 'unlocked'
3)reap the benefits of your intelligent, calm-minded thinking

The thing that motivates me the most is seeing other people do better than me. That pisses me off because I think I'm more capable than most people I meet, if they can do it surely I can do it. I will not stop doing whatever it is until I believe I am in a better prepared position they are. I apply this to everything whether it's prepping for a big midterm/final exam or prepping for a big standardized test like the GMAT/DAT/LSAT.

In the end I may fall short and not do as good as I wanted or fail, but never rationalize your failures and never let them be the end of your attempts. Don't accept them as happening just because 'it is what it is' or because 'my girlfriend was distracting me/my personal life is so hard/i have so many other obligations in my life that take my time'. Get stronger and do everything in your power to do better. Falling into the rut of mediocrity is incredibly easy and it's a damn slippery slope, climbing back out is hard but probably the most rewarding thing I've done in my short life

[yot065]

Need money man need to be more social forever alone :'( lol

[BrRsn]

Originally Posted by yot065

Need money man need to be more social forever alone :'( lol

Sell your gaming computer for a gym membership. Start working out. Get a job, get a haircut, stop being beta. WIN AT LIFE.

[Neoxphuse]

Interesting thought process dhillion. What if it's not all about chart topping, but simplicity. It's about getting things done, yet not failling, but unable to for so many reasons. There's so much pressure out there. Maybe it's unfair outside pressure, maybe it's not. It really doesn't matter does it?

When life gets hard, what do you guys end up doing to think things over or destress/calm yourself?

[Phozy]

Work out. Who you are in the gym reflects who you are in life.

I think the people who making hitting the gym a part of their lifestyle are the calmer, mentally tough people who are used to dealing with pushing past their boundaries and hanging in there.
It's important to learn how to deal with stress when you can, so when it comes down to it, you know what you need to do, not turn to abuse of food or drugs or anything.

Hang in there, take a step back and look at what the root of the problem is, and tackle that. Things happen for a reason, don't think "it is what it is" like dhillon said, go out there and put a positive energy into everything you do. You'll crawl out of your hole a whole lot stronger and with the will to always better yourself.

[BrRsn]

Originally Posted by Neoxphuse

Interesting thought process dhillion. What if it's not all about chart topping, but simplicity. It's about getting things done, yet not failling, but unable to for so many reasons. There's so much pressure out there. Maybe it's unfair outside pressure, maybe it's not. It really doesn't matter does it?

When life gets hard, what do you guys end up doing to think things over or destress/calm yourself?

When life gets hard I kick into over drive because I know everything that rises must fall, and everything that falls must rise. Work your ass off, and get past the rough patch and it'll be smooth sailing.

What's stopping you from getting things done? If its any answer other than a child you might have obligations to or a incapacitated relative/family member you are forced to take care of for 12 hours a day, you really have no excuses besides the ones you make up for yourself to justify your own actions. Not being harsh, I do it too ... I often lie awake and just think of all the missed opportunities and underachievement I've been faced with simply due to my poor mindset.

Just go on youtube and look for some inspirational speeches or some good public speakers. You will quickly realize theres many people who articulate their words a million times better than me and convey messages a lot more powerful than the one I'm trying to tell you, and all it takes is for you to connect with one of them and it'll change your thinking, or give you a valuable perspective on life. Find something you like and when you feel overwhelmed watch that self help video and remind yourself of the correct mindset you found previously

[trancehead]

like what dhillon said, watch some inspirational speakers
Just recently i tuned into Joe Rogan and Tyler Durden...go youtube both of them. they both have interesting shit to say on life. they seem to be able to draw everything into the bigger picture, which is what most people in life fail to do.

With that, i find also that your circle of friends/family influence you ALOT. the people u see, people u work with, people u bang, they all make up the environment you inhabit and can shape your thoughts and mind. You do NOT want to be around parasites and leeches, these vampires who just suck the energy out of you. Be around the people you WANT to become.

What do middle class people do? Hang out with millionaires if they want to become one

what do millionaires do? Hang out with billionaires (u get the picture)

Try embracing change. If someone is really fucking you in the ass daily, cut them out. Be it gradual or abrupt, its time.

If an issue arises and needs to be dealt with ...a matter of when and not if, then sort it out on the spot. today. right now. no needs to dance around the subject

And as for shit not working out after numerous tries, TRY again. Some people use the excuse that "this is destiny/fate, and its not meant to be". Well if you really want to achieve somthing, fuck destiny and fate and go chase for it. If you are limiting yourself in your mind already, then that will extend into the physical world. Heinz ketchup FAILED 57 tries or whatever to get the product right. And now its a brand synonymous with ketchup

You say your days and moments are just blending in? Go out and do something fun. And if you cant think of anything: Try something new...whether it be a new sport, meeting girls randomly. Make it a GOAL to do the best u can in it. Having that goal and intent in any aspect of life only draws positives and will ultimately lead you to success in every aspect.

To become the master of one thing is to become the master of everything as the principles in life extend universally.

[Jackygor]

When the tough gets going, the going gets tough.

[yot065]

Originally Posted by dhillon09

Sell your gaming computer for a gym membership. Start working out. Get a job, get a haircut, stop being beta. WIN AT LIFE.

Already have a gym membership. Already have a full-time management job, dont want a hair cut, going to school for a degree & beta?

I'm just one of them whiners

[G-spec]

nobody posted a first world problems pic yet ? you're bored of life dude ?

I come from a place where we had to fight for our lives, so I can't understand any of this bullshit people here have issues with, it's a joke to me literally... have had so many friends I've wanted to slap over the years for this type of bullshit.... I still remember to this day in high school a buddy of mine actually cried cuz his parents only gave him 30 grand to buy his first car after he passed his drivers license, he couldn't buy that CLK he REALLY wanted that cost twice as much... took every ounce of my willpower not to sack him in the fuckin nuts right there on the spot

ok enough of me being mean (realistic), here's some useful advice... you wanna find meaning in life, then turn to the things people have been turning to for thousands of years... your kin, religion, knowledge etc.... if you're too lame to do that, then just admit to yourself firstly you're leading an empty life and then secondly proceed to go all the fuck out, fill your life with all the superficial irrelevant things like pussy, material things, etc.... until you die

[Ri2]

that's the thing about life. if you can't imagine or visualize that good things will happen to you it more or less never does. however, all the things that could be "the worst case scenario" often does happen.

maybe your definition of failing needs to change. you only fail at something when you stop trying. however, if you try and don't succeed, you should see that as an opportunity to try again (harder and smarter). there is no shame at failing at something and you shouldn't feel bad because of it. it's our society that deems failing as something that is horrible and you should be miserable if you face it. in reality, everybody will fail at something. that's life. people are not meant to be good at everything, because if we were, we wouldn't need other people around. there's something to learn in everybody who shows up in our life and we should learn to acknowledge and accept that.
realize that the predicaments that you get put in are 50% your fault because you decided to put yourself in that situation and let the outcome of that situation dictate your feelings. you can't control how people act towards you but you can control how you react to external factors.

in your case, stop waiting for good shit to happen to you. go out and make good shit happen for yourself. you shouldn't feel that the effort that you put into anything was wasted, even if you feel you "got screwed over" in the end. we really need to value ourselves and the decisions we make, at some point, those decisions seemed right for us at the time so why would you invalidate yourself like that?

sounds like there's a possibility of depression in your original post. it's like tunnel vision and once you're in the dark, it's hard to pull yourself out of it and see the light. surround yourself with positive people and messages. do you have any friends/family that could be around to support you (emotionally/physically/etc) right now? try reading books focused on personal development/growth and empowerment. it helps to know that you're not alone in this situation and it can be a relief once you start seeing how many resources are available to you. take some time and be by yourself, really get in touch with who you are so you can better see how to help yourself out of it. i agree with the guys' above, motivational speakers can be really liberating also. i'm not sure if there's a group like this for guys, but i'm involved with a success circle for women that meet monthly and practice meditation, positive intentions and visualization for our (successful) futures.

also, the past is past... just leave it there. it's of no use to you now nor will it be to you in the future. don't have the thought that "oh well i used to do this" or "it happened to me before", because you're only limiting yourself further. believe in what you can do for yourself today and just do it.

[Gridlock]

You know, I came to the conclusion at about 26 that there is a pre-defined path that people are supposed to be on.

I was with a girl and we were "blah"...I wasn't really excited to go home. I had a management job that paid well...but it didn't excite me, so I wasn't particularly excited to go to work. I felt like all the other time was kind of "blah"...I wasn't into sports, or the gym and I wasn't into thrilling hobbies.

But to the outside world, I was "there". Upgrade this...save up and buy that.

In fact, I had a meeting with my dirtbag accountant and he's looking at me saying, "you made this when you worked in shipping, and took a pay cut to work for yourself. Can you get your job back?"

Um. No. I don't want one like it either.

He couldn't fathom that I now enjoyed what I do. Will the money come? Yeah...now is infinitely better than before.

But I went against "the path".

I don't think I'm alone. A lot of people get frustrated on that 9-5 monday to friday existence. There are consequences at work, but the worst that can ever happen is you get fired..get a bad reference making it difficult to go and work for the competition.

At the end of the day, its not your loss, and its not your gain. Yeah, you get a bonus, but its a small slice off the pie. No one ever says to you, "you made 30g out of thin air from your idea, here's your half" Ok, yes, occasionally maybe, but you know what I mean.

I walked. I make my day. I don't ask permission for a day off. I take it. My work, my reward.

My point is to not have everyone bail on their lives, but you need to find what makes it work for you.

>Some people work for their kids. Awesome. Huge respect.
>Some people work for their car, or their house or their clothes. Awesome. It works for you. I don't give you the respect though. I think you may wake up and find that existence empty.
>Some work for their hobbies. Their "kicks" are flying out the back of an airplane. Awesome. Work for you is a place you go when you aren't living it up on the weekends.

The key is, you need that hook. Punch out some kids, buy a ridiculously expensive something or make weekends that dreams are made of.

Otherwise, your soul dies.

>Some people work for their car, or their house or their clothes. Awesome. It works for you. I don't give you the respect though. I think you may wake up and find that existence empty.

This isn't to say that you can't enjoy the fruits of your labour, but I lose a little respect if you are working for it, instead of having it as a side result...but that's just me.

[dinosaur]

^ so......what do you work for?

[instantneedles]

Hey man, im sure each and everyone of us can relate to this.. But at the end of the day, when the dust settles and smoke clears, we can only control what we ourselves can control. Focus on controlling the controllables. Do your best to prepare yourself for any challenge that you may have to face, whether it be a relationship, job, school, etc. So long as you do that, that is all that matters and noone in this world can blame you for your actions. I can tell you this much, life is giving you these hardships, because it doesnt want you to stay trapped inside a comfort zone, it knows that you deserve more and deserve better, so push yourself to the fullest buddy, and do what you can handle, and that is all you can do.

[Gridlock]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

^ so......what do you work for?

You of all people should really not have to ask

I don't "work". I spend my time for the satisfaction of working for myself and not having a boss. That to me is worth the fact that I may not currently be earning as much as I could pay/benefits wise in a corporate setting.

[Harvey Specter]

You're not the only one. My work life for the last couple of years has been going sky high and I've accomplished so many personal goals when it comes to work and money.

Now my personal life is all screwed up. Can't get in a relationship that lasts for more than a month, can't meet anyone decent, it sucks but I know eventually things will pick up. I don't let things get me down anymore, I've learned to focus on positive things in my life. Always dream big and build up your confidence from positive things going on in your life, you'll be shocked at how far confidence will take you and what you can accomplish.

[PJ]

Originally Posted by Neoxphuse

You put all this effort in it. And in the end, you still get screwed.

What to do when you feel like you can't get it done, even though you tried?

Depends on what your goals are, and what you're doing to achieve that. Excuse the examples, but the principles still stand..

If you're looking for a good relationship, sitting around playing video games isn't going to make it happen.

If you want fortune, beach houses and cars, working an average wage day job isn't going to make it happen.

Judging by your abstract OP, it seems like you're kind of living/working day to day, not knowing what to do with your life.

Write down your goals, and go backwards. Write down what you need to do to get there, and execute.

This thread may be of interest to you. http://www.revscene.net/forums/66617...fe-crisis.html

[Bonjour]

You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

[jameswift]

Life is a weird balance.

Take me for example. I always focused on work and making money and education. During that process I met someone, fell in love and got married. At one point I was making HUGE money, had slammed through loads of education, was in great shape, had a super hot and nice girlfriend. Life was pretty much perfect.

Then, I woke up one day and I wasn't in shape anymore, my health had slowly declined, my wife hated me, I worked all the time and ignored all other aspects of my life. My work ended up going down the drain, I got fat, I ended up divorced.

It happens.

I could easily have just killed myself at that point. I went from riches to rags, bitches to fags. A lot of my friends stabbed me in the back when I fell off my "A" game and talked a lot of shit. Kicked me when I was down and then some.

So now I'm older, broke, can't seem to get my shit together, my personal life is messed up because 95% of my friends decided to anal rape me. I'm single after losing a wife and I'm a wreck.

What did/do I do?

YES, I wanted to seriously die and I just about did a few times but I didn't end up going through with it. So what now?

One thing I've learned is that the world is a very cold and dark and cruel place. People don't give a fuck about you, the world doesn't owe you anything, and you're not entitled to a damn thing.

What to do? Do something about it. It's up to YOU and nobody else.

Not mom and dad. Not your friends. Not your spouse. It's up to YOU.

What did I do? The first thing I needed to do was get my mind in the right place and the best way to do that is to load yourself up on CDs and tapes like Brian Tracy or someone.

Next, it's about being healthy and being fit. Keep in mind I'm broke okay. I still shelled out money for a nutritionist and a personal trainer.

Every day I was listening to tapes trying to get my mind right. Listening to tapes trying to improve my business. I spent some time with the few friends I had. They listened to me over and over while I bitched about the same things day in and day out.

Hit the gym and worked out hard. Went to bed sometimes crying about my life. Like full on balling my eyes out.

You know what? My life is still pretty fucked up but it's way better.

I'm down to 8% fat, hit the gym 5 times a week. I'm meeting new people and I'm not winning at everything but I'm trying. My business is slowly starting to get back on the rails.

My health is very good, my mind is much better and I'm on the right track.

All too often it's easy to look at where we expected to be. I expected to be rich, married, with a kid of the way with all this career stuff going on and it didn't work out that way. I get mad because I was at baller status at 26, and broke at 31.

We can't control life, we can only control how we react and deal with what's thrown at us. It's not easy. Hell, it's hard! Real hard sometimes.

Learn from your mistakes, move forward, keep working hard, do what you need to do.

[Psykopathik]

if you're not living in a cardboard box sucking dick for crack, i'd say you're life is pretty good. Try focusing on that.