where to find significant other?

[Girl]

Start commenting on ppl's facebook, build rapport with old friends or ppl you went to school with and go from there. I rekindled with a lot of ppl that way. Or do what some of my old HS guys did, just randomly msg someone and go "hey how's it going" :P but that might scare some of them off....

[mugentsx]

So the question is now, Where Do I start

Some of you mentioned joining clubs and finding new hobbies.

[stewie]

just curious, why do you want to keep online dating as a last resort?

ive used online dating on and off since i was 20...always used the same site, POF.

in my mind, its honestly one of the best ways to go, you throw yourself out there, send a few messages, line a few dates up with a few girls who you think you'd get along with, and its like speed dating almost....go on 7 dates in 7 nights, if you think they're duds...move on...dates dont need to cost money, a simple walk downtown talking with each other and grabbing coffee takes 45 minutes and its basically free..if you dont think theres a spark...dont talk to her again and at the end of the week send a few more messages to girls. worst case scenario, you end up being friends with a few of them, well guess what, women have friends, and they'll invite you out, then you potentially have a few more women available to you

the girl im with now, i met her from pof last year...shit works if you do it right...

[gunz4hire]

Originally Posted by LiquidTurbo

If you're fapping all the time, you should consider stopping. Essentially what will happen is your brain initially will be like WTF? Then essentially it will force yourself to go out and approach people and be social etc. Your brain will realize the things it needs to do to find a mate. Fapping is the ultimate cheatcode to life, and I think it makes a lot of guy docile.

This is just my 0.02.

brb fap 3 times a day rofl

[impulseX]

Originally Posted by stewie

just curious, why do you want to keep online dating as a last resort?

ive used online dating on and off since i was 20...always used the same site, POF.

in my mind, its honestly one of the best ways to go, you throw yourself out there, send a few messages, line a few dates up with a few girls who you think you'd get along with, and its like speed dating almost....go on 7 dates in 7 nights, if you think they're duds...move on...dates dont need to cost money, a simple walk downtown talking with each other and grabbing coffee takes 45 minutes and its basically free..if you dont think theres a spark...dont talk to her again and at the end of the week send a few more messages to girls. worst case scenario, you end up being friends with a few of them, well guess what, women have friends, and they'll invite you out, then you potentially have a few more women available to you

the girl im with now, i met her from pof last year...shit works if you do it right...

this.

there's nothing wrong with online dating. my first serious relationship was someone i met online, but we connnected and all that jazz. we're not together now but it was definitely good when it worked out.

my buddy met his current gf through pof i believe. they just had their one year anniversary. it all started for them by meeting up to eat pho. lol. but his reasoning makes sense. hes gotta work to pay off bills, and doesn't have the time to go clubbing or partying and such.

[miss_crayon]

As popular as online dating is nowadays, there are still a lot of people who feel embarassed/uncomfortable by the thought of "I met my s/o through a computer." Maybe OP is one of those people that doesn't want to resort to online dating unless he absolutely has to. I mean, I get it (if that's the case).

Throughout time, building relationships (whether it's personal, business etc etc) has usually been face to face and getting to know one another IRL VS, talking through an electronic box etc etc before "meeting" for the first time.

I will say though, even though online dating isn't for everyone..it CAN work. One of my gf's who got married just this past summer met her husband from EHarmony and they couldn't be happier. They are the perfect match and all of her friends/family adore him and vice versa.

[Presto]

Originally Posted by miss_crayon

I will say though, even though online dating isn't for everyone..it CAN work. One of my gf's who got married just this past summer met her husband from EHarmony and they couldn't be happier. They are the perfect match and all of her friends/family adore him and vice versa.

eHarmony seems like a good place to look for a spouse. One of my friends got married to a woman he met through eHarmony. And, just recently, my sister got married to a man she met on eHarmoney. He's family approved, too!

[Durrann]

My co worker met a guy online n now they're married
Some ppl are just too busy to meet new people
And going online is a convenient way to do so
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[Noir]

re: online dating or why some people have reservations about resorting to it


I don't know how it is for a girls but us guys are a prideful lot sometimes. Although I hold no judgements against people who resort to online dating; some guys just don't want to earn/get girls that way. Maybe to some, it feels like an admittance that you have social inadequacies; that you need to resort to online ads and/or dating agencies to have someone to be with you.

[dark0821]

I met my fiancee at a friends birthday party...

We didn't really "hit it off", but we met, and I asked for her facebook. But ya, eventually though I had my friend pull some strings so I will get more chances to spend time with her... but ya man, just do your thing.

I ended up not have enough time for her because I had to focus on my career and what not, and it only pulled her closer hehehe

Women fall head over heels for men who have goals and achieves them by working hard!

[Tapioca]

Online dating, particularly on free sites such as PoF is biased towards guys who are physically attractive or are good at building an online personality. I dabbled in online dating for several years and despite having a well-written profile and thoughtful messages to women I was interested in, it was a slog. Considering the OP seems to lack a natural charisma that would be reflected online, I am inclined to think that online dating would be rather discouraging and defeating. E-Harmony might work better since the people on there are probably more serious, but I think the OP needs to work on his social skills and needs to really become comfortable in his own skin before he tries to find someone to settle down with.

A gold mine for single and fun women is dance clubs, particularly salsa and other latin dancing. It's impolite for women to turn down men for dances, so women are forced to talk to you. Moreoever, dancing is one of the last activities where men are expected to lead and assert themselves.
Posted via RS Mobile

[DevC]

Go experience life and love will come when you least expect it.

[Glove]

someone inbox me

[tiger_handheld]

I think online profiles can work against you at times depending on how much or how little info you decide to put on. You can have natural charisma but if you give out too much about yourself then it's a crapshoot.

While on the same topic, whats the take on inter-racial dating in Vancouver?

Met my last gf on POF and it was great while it lasted! OP, you should not discount meeting people online. Especially if you do a 9-5, have a close circle of friends, it's hella hard to meet new people.

[Presto]

Originally Posted by tiger_handheld

While on the same topic, whats the take on inter-racial dating in Vancouver?

It's rampant, and accepted, unless you're an old school fob.
My sister married a white guy. I married an Egyptian.
My wife's family, that are similarly aged, are ALL married to Caucasians. Her sister. Her cousins.

[hkRicer]

Going to church is probably the best option and *free lol. (They have those youth group etc)

Otherwise school is not bad too, if you looking for fob/ jap /kor/brazilian go to dt for ESL school (that's what my korean friend told me XD, just pretend you no speak English)

Or any business course.

[PJ]

I think everything's been covered...
I'll throw in my 2 cents as well.

To reiterate. Just go out and meet people. With friends, meetup.com, community events, whatever. I have a girlfriend, but I never pass up a chance to hang out with new people. You never know who you can meet. I've met millionaires who went broke, met broke people who turned millionaires, met people who know other certain people, etc. If you're uncomfortable, bring a friend, and you'll slowly build your confidence to the point where you can go it alone.

And with the whole online dating thing, there's nothing wrong with it at all. I used to be one of those people who always ridiculed it, but the more I people I talked to about it, I realized that it's completely normal at this day and age.

It surprised me even more when I found out that a couple of my friends in the entertainment business met their other halves online as well. (One of them's a model/actor, and the other used to be in a certain platinum-selling boyband, so it's not like they would have a hard time getting a real date - they just chose to try the online dating thing, and hey, it worked out for them.)

So don't be afraid to try new things!

[kitsune]

Meet friends. Meet friend's friends. Meet friend's friend's friends..

I think everyone wrote all the to-dos already.

Especially at your age, I find the circle closes a bit. You're done school, you work, you meet the same people, don't really get a chance to meet new people.

I know, because I'm the same. LOL

Don't worry too much about it, it comes when you least expect it. That's what happened to all my previous relationships.

And keep your eyes open! You never know if you've overlooked something.

Sigh.. pushy parents.. don't we all. They mean well haha

[Mr.HappySilp]

I think I can relate to the OP.
Not many friends and the people I work with are nice and fun people to be with but we usually don't hang out (like a few times a year) most of them already have a bf/gf and they usually only brings their other half out so not much luck there.
Did speed dating a few times didn't work out. Well I did meet someone but things don't work out. The thing with speed dating is that with only 5mins each person is hard to get to know them and also I say half of the people there aren't really looking to date but more of an even to hang out and have fun. Also you only see maybe 15 to 20ppl each time.
I turn to online dating which is nicer. I like it because I can check my matches anytime I like (if I feel tired that day I don't have to log in), their profile is there so you can read it and see if that is a potential match, match being deliver to you so you don't have to work.
I started this online dating since End of Sept I think. Dated 2 girls around Oct/Nov. Both didn't work out. One girl was getting pretty serious and we have a lot connections but there are some things that just didn't match. It was fun while it lasted and we still chat as friends no biggie there.

I just meet with 3 different girls last week (one sat, one sun and one tue). Already have plans to see them again next week. Coming up seeing 2 other girls this Sat and Sun. So pretty good so far. I don't take it too serious (learn from mistake) just go with the flow, have fun and that's it. My advice is don't take it too seriously till you know you are at that stage. Just think of meeting different people and becoming friends, that will go a lot smoothly.

I think what the OP lack is confident. Also he might feel embarrass that he is using online dating service. Nothing to be embarrass about. Lot's of people use it these days. In fact a lot of professional people use it. I been out with school teachers, engineers, girls with PHD their own business....... lot's of different topics and stories to share.

I also find is good to spend more time making a good profile. My online profile took me hours to do it. Remember these people online don't know you. They know you by your profile and the E-mails you sent them. Think of it as applying for a job. The HR don't know you, they know by your resume and cover letter and we spend hours making them look perfect. You have to do the same with your profile. Make it catchy and funny yet don't give too much away. Upload a few pictures that's funny (halloween pic for example), a pic of your pet if you have one(girls love pictures of your pet) and some other ones that show you normally.

Next when you E-mail them match it very catchy yet serious and funny. The first E-mail I sent to my matches are all the same. I made one up and save it so I can just copy and paste and change a few questions from time to time (ie I ask them about Halloween near end Oct now I ask them about their Chirstmas plans). But overall my E-mail is the same. One advantage of Online dating is that is quick. Is like sending E-mails and it doesn't take long. Once you have their interest and they E-mail you back, then you look in their profile in details and ask questions or try to find common interest with them and talk about that. Usually it takes me maybe 10 to 15mins to E-mail my match so is not a lot.

After a few E-mails exchanges (I say at least 3 to 4 E-mail exchanges) casually ask them out for a coffee or movie. I prefer coffee or tea since
1. Is a safe place so the other person feels safer
2. Is easy access (so many coffee place around the city)
3. Is cheap
4. If you don't want to stay you can easily leave so is not an awkward or walk around the park in silence.
5. YOU CAN ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE AND GET TO KNOW HER. Very important. The whole point of meeting up is to know each other more, not to just hang out. Leave that till later. your main goal is to know her, get her to be interested in YOU, setup a 2nd date.

Coffee date should not last longer than 1.5hours. It should be around 45mins to 1hour I say. Too short and you won't know her enough, too long you are giving too much info and also it shows you have nothing better to do. Just casually let her know it was nice knowing her and you like to see her again. Even if you don't like her don't tell her in her face. Let her know is nice knowing her and you will call her that night or the next day. AND ACTUALLY DO IT!!! Don't play games and don't call. Even if you don't like her, still call her and say something like " Hi XXX, I hope you have a fun time tonight, it was nice meeting you and you are a nice girl to hang out and talk to but I don't feel we are really connected, I wish you luck in finding someone." Close it nicely. Not calling her is the worse you can do. If you like her just call and say you really enjoy her company and you wish to know her more and setup a 2nd date.

Few things I learn so far for 1st date
1. Study their profile. Is like your cheat cheat. It TELLS YOU what they like, what they don't like....... go from there. Is so easy to come up with topics once you do this.
2. Never talk about work. They already work for 8hours that day or the week. They don't need to be reminded again, unless they want to talk about it.
3.Never talk about pass relationships.
4.Have a few funny moments in your life you want to tell. Or if you don't have any use your friend and add something in to make it fun.
5.Take about animals! 9/10 girls loves animals some even have animals. Great if they do ask them more questions about their pets. They will go on forever about it and it shows them that you are interested in their life.
6.Don't talk about games, computers, new CPU........ unless they are into it. Girls don't want to hear about it.
7. Have some funny yet werid questions to ask (refer to the This of that thread in the general section}.
8. Eye contact, but don't stare like a freak or stalker. Have nice posture meaning back straight.
9. Dress business casual or semi casual. Like a nice pair of jeans, with button shirt and a nice pair of shoes. Don't over do it.
10. Don't be shy. Don't be nervous. It should be relaxing and fun.

Yea give online dating a try. The last few girls I meet I went in with 0 expectations and just wanted to meet a new friend over coffee and chat about whatever. In the end 2 out 3 of them call back that night and wanted to meet up again. You don't have to be super model or have good education or a really good job to meet people, you just need the right person to meet you.I don't look good, I don't have a good education, I don't drive, and I certainly don't have a very very good job. You just got to have confident. If one rejects you, don't let it stay in your mind skip to the next one.

Edit if you are having issue with communications I suggest reading a book call How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. A friend suggested it to me when I have issue meeting new people and keeping them interested. Is a really really good book to read.