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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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10-29-2012, 10:26 PM
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#1 | | Proud to be called a RS Regular!
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: vancouver
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| where to find significant other?
I'll be turning mid 20's soon, and every year my rents keep saying. Go out and find a gf. I've been so busy with work these past years, that i just keep this topic behind me.
The problem is I'm the quiet type, and not very outgoing I guess. I also don't have alot of connections
I have a few of my friends using online dating sites, craigslist, but I'm trying to stay away from those until last resort.
Some things I want to try is maybe volunteering, going to churches? -I'm buddhist though, possibly temples?
I have no idea where to start, any response would be great
serious answers please!
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10-29-2012, 10:28 PM
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#2 | | Rider
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Home
Posts: 1,574
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Try joining sports, leagues and volunteer groups ?
Pretty much anything that interests you, there will be others interested in it too.
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10-29-2012, 10:30 PM
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#3 | | Rider
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: bby
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Go to Chapters!
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10-29-2012, 10:33 PM
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#4 | | Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: VEGAS
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I'm in the same boat as you OP.
But do you want a girl becuase your parents tell you too?
Don't stress out about it. Let love come to you = D
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10-29-2012, 10:50 PM
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#5 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
Join Date: Apr 2001
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The more you put yourself out there, the better your odds will be. When I was in my 20s, I had to make my own luck - I joined a couple of groups, went to parties of coworkers, went to networking events, went speed dating, and went to bars on my own. I definitely made some mistakes and sometimes embarrassed myself, but I don't regret anything that I did - it was all a part of developing confidence and social skills.
If you want some inspiration, take a look around Meetup.com. There are hundreds of groups out there, right in Vancouver, that cater to every type of interest. If something looks remotely interesting, get involved and see what it's all about. Be open-minded.
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10-29-2012, 11:10 PM
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#6 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Richmond
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go out and do ya thang, dont stop improving yourself and never sell yourself short.
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10-29-2012, 11:19 PM
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#7 | | -Stare-
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: GVR
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meet people doing what you do
unless you want some 1 night stands
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10-29-2012, 11:36 PM
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#8 | | Retired moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Online
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Through friends. Recently a friend of mine had a huge get together with different groups of friends, from co-workers to childhood friends to just some she had just met. I only knew 1 person there but at the end of the night I met a bunch of people and even had a few ppl ask me for my number/facebook to do stuff together.
Step out of your comfort zone.
No matter if it's joining a league or just going to a party where you only know one person. And the key is to be sociable and be genuinely interested in meeting new ppl, not just to find a girl/guy. You might be surprised at who you meet.
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10-30-2012, 12:52 AM
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#9 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: vancouver
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I'm in this situation too...the thing with parties and get togethers is that I am not even close with the people who hold these parties therefore they never call me out to join...
someone above said go to "networking events" , where can we find these events usually?
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10-30-2012, 09:12 AM
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#10 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver
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You interested in Dragonboat?
I've never done it myself, but I have numerous friends who were on a dragonboat team, where they met their significant others!
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Honest to fucking Christ the easiest way to get a married woman in the mood is clean the house and do the laundry.....I've been with the same girl almost 17 years, ask me how I know. - quasi
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10-30-2012, 09:22 AM
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#11 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
Join Date: Apr 2001
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Meeting people through friends tends to work when you're younger and if your friends are outgoing. My group of friends is fairly insular, at least when it comes to non-business related relationships, and most are already in long-term relationships whose girlfriends' friends are also in long-term relationships. When you're younger, people are more open to accepting people outside of their social circle; once you hit your late-20s and early 30s, it becomes increasingly difficult to meet new people through mutual friends.
One sport that's been hot for a while is dodgeball. There are 2 leagues in Vancouver and from what I've seen on Facebook, there is an ample supply of attractive and young women who play. Another sport that attracts women is volleyball. Or, you could just get involved with running clubs and see where that takes you. Women in this city are pretty active so you need to go where they are (and not the gym.)
I was involved in the dragonboat community for a couple of years and in my opinion, it's slowly dying in Vancouver. The corportate sponsorships have dried up and now it's for people who are competitive. If you want to get good at a sport and want to win, then by all means join a team. 10 years ago, there were 200 teams competing at festivals; that number has been reduced by 60-70%.
An example of stepping out of your comfort zone is joining a Toastmasters club. I met my girlfriend through a club I joined. Not only do you build your confidence through public speaking, but women get to see your confidence grow which makes you very attractive.
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Last edited by Tapioca; 10-30-2012 at 09:28 AM.
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10-30-2012, 09:34 AM
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#12 | | I STILL don't get it
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: vancouver
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I have a friend who is in a similar situation as you. He never had a gf for pretty much his whole life so he decided to join the church in his late 20s. Since then I think he dated 3 girls from that church group and went out with one girl there for about a year
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10-30-2012, 01:19 PM
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#13 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Richmond
Posts: 1,116
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sign up the air brush course in BCIT
Im really hitting it off with this babe in the class, its a short class and its affordable. but you have to put yourself out there to get them interested in you you know? Let loose a little bro!
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10-30-2012, 02:38 PM
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#14 | | I keep RS good
Join Date: May 2001 Location: Cosmos
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air brushing course at BCIT... you're a genius HAHA!!!
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10-30-2012, 03:01 PM
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#15 | | Zionism gets my shell hard and slimy
Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: in a shell
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significant other?  but in all seriousness
Find one that has the same interests as you, by doing things that interest you, playing ps3/xbox dosnt count.
What im trying to say is that if you go to a party randomly and you arnt the partying type there is a good chance that you meet a girl there andchances are that she is a party kind of girl, and that works for some people, but if its not your thing then you are just stuck with a girl that dosnt share the same lifestyle as you.
like others posted above, get out there, do the things you enjoy and someone will come along, you are young, worry about life, not a girl, it will happen when it does.
if you want change, you need to make change.
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10-31-2012, 08:36 AM
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#16 | | Need to Seek Professional Help
Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Richmond
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I read something one time that said, "If you're looking for the love of your life, stop. They will find you when you start doing the things you love"
Get out there and just take it easy, relationships that are rushed will end just as fast as they begin
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10-31-2012, 08:39 AM
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#17 | | Zionism gets my shell hard and slimy
Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: in a shell
Posts: 2,598
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^ i dont think i could have said it better myself, the faster it falls together the faster it will fall apart, most mistake lust for love, when lust dies down, you realize how little love was actually there, and from there it goes downhill.
Most important thing i think it to share common interests that way you guys are usually having a good time together, not just sitting at home, helps keep a relationship fun
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10-31-2012, 09:04 AM
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#18 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 814
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You know, I am a strong believer that when it comes to love, it just happens. It can happen today, tomorrow, in a year from now, but it will! If you want something true, you should just wait for it. Just go about your daily routine and things will fall into place.
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10-31-2012, 10:22 AM
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#19 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: richmond
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step out of your comfort zone......
Best advise ever. If you stay in your comfort zone you'll never grow as an individual and your bubble will never include anyone new IE a girl.
Its all to easy to keep doin what your doin be it work or sittin at home playin games but you'll never get beyond work and sittin at home or whatever it is your doin. So get out there do somethin new see somethin new and find someone new.
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10-31-2012, 01:05 PM
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#20 | | VLS Head Mod
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Originally Posted by AW607  I read something one time that said, "If you're looking for the love of your life, stop. They will find you when you start doing the things you love"
Get out there and just take it easy, relationships that are rushed will end just as fast as they begin
Posted via RS Mobile | So true. My current boyfriend and I started talking after sept long weekend, then hanging out as friends and one day we went out for drinks to chill out after the work week and realized we were into one another Posted via RS Mobile | |
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10-31-2012, 01:44 PM
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#21 | | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
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All the above posts are as true as it gets. I was in your seat a while back minus the age. Just self absorbed in work and my own hobbies. When people say dont go looking for love itll find you. I say its sort of true and sort of BS. Its true when you are putting yourself out there and going with the flow of the environment/current situation you are in at the moment in the company of women you maybe interested in vs those who sit back fap, play DOTA 24/7, and dont work. Love doesnt come to those who sit and do nothing to show they are out looking.
Go out and have fun, as one person mentioned meetup.com is a good site to go to network with people within your age range. I once too used that site to meet others and eventually set up my own group.
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10-31-2012, 02:34 PM
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#22 | | 14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: May 2011 Location: 1966 Mustang
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I was 23 when I met what turned out to be my missus.
We were at different colleges but working at the same restaurant.
Women like to have fun just as much as men, think happy thoughts and be happy.
When you make eye contact smile and nod slightly, say hi. Do not look down, it's creepy. This goes for any setting. If they smile and nod back that's a good thing, otherwise move along.
Have fun out there.
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10-31-2012, 04:13 PM
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#23 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Vancouver
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i have a friend who's 26/27 and i'm pretty sure he's a virgin, he worked so hard to finish school with honours and to be where he is that he really didn't get a chance to have a lot of female companionship.
but really the best place is either school or from friends, that's where i've met all my girlfriends from those two categories, and of course when i was younger that overlapped.
be happy, not desperate
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10-31-2012, 04:49 PM
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#24 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: van
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strip club. as long as you have money they'll love you forever  | |
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10-31-2012, 08:37 PM
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#25 | | resident Oil Guru
Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 7,716
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Originally Posted by mugentsx I'll be turning mid 20's soon, and every year my rents keep saying. Go out and find a gf. I've been so busy with work these past years, that i just keep this topic behind me.
The problem is I'm the quiet type, and not very outgoing I guess. I also don't have alot of connections
I have a few of my friends using online dating sites, craigslist, but I'm trying to stay away from those until last resort.
Some things I want to try is maybe volunteering, going to churches? -I'm buddhist though, possibly temples?
I have no idea where to start, any response would be great
serious answers please! | If you're fapping all the time, you should consider stopping. Essentially what will happen is your brain initially will be like WTF? Then essentially it will force yourself to go out and approach people and be social etc. Your brain will realize the things it needs to do to find a mate. Fapping is the ultimate cheatcode to life, and I think it makes a lot of guy docile.
This is just my 0.02.
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