[Confidential] Cheated on the GF

[El Bastardo]

The following is an anonymous post. If the original poster would like to reply to any comments, please PM me

So I have been going out with my gf for a little over a year now. Everything was great with the few arguments and jealousy issues here and there. I went on vacation and ended up cheating on her with this chick i just met. I thought it would of been a 1 time thing but we ended up hooking up again before I left. We were having alot of problems during my vacation and I'm not using that as an excuse but I think it was a factor in me doing what I did.

Now that I'm back it's just not the same anymore. We both can feel that its just a totally different feel. I haven't told her and its killing me inside. She's trying really hard to make things better again and I really really love her but I think she deserves someone that will not do this to her and I can't live with myself knowing what I did. I'm just not sure if it is too rash to break up with her over this? I just want some insight on the situation please RS.

Thanks

[ShadowBun]

If you love her,
tell her since obviously you cannot live with it

If she forgives you, move on. If not, leave.

I am assuming you can figure out if she can forgive you or not since you dated her for over a year.
Some girls might say they will, but they won't. I am assuming you can see through this.

[dinosaur]

If a relationship is good, you don't cheat especially if you guys are arguing or bickering about dumb shit.

Also, you don't date someone you pity. You shouldn't be feeling bad because she is "really trying". Are you trying? Probably not.

Don't tell her you cheated....but you shouldn't be with her. If you break-up with her, she will be upset already...don't throw more fire at it by telling her you cheated.

[6793026]

deny till you die.. well it is a solution, but how old are you again?

just honestly tell her that you want to break up, own up like a man. keep it short.

Just say, let's break up, I've cheated on you, and just go. Don't do the "oh i still love you" speech.

[mr_chin]

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

The following is an anonymous post. If the original poster would like to reply to any comments, please PM me

So I have been going out with my gf for a little over a year now. Everything was great with the few arguments and jealousy issues here and there. I went on vacation and ended up cheating on her with this chick i just met. I thought it would of been a 1 time thing but we ended up hooking up again before I left. We were having alot of problems during my vacation and I'm not using that as an excuse but I think it was a factor in me doing what I did.

Now that I'm back it's just not the same anymore. We both can feel that its just a totally different feel. I haven't told her and its killing me inside. She's trying really hard to make things better again and I really really love her but I think she deserves someone that will not do this to her and I can't live with myself knowing what I did. I'm just not sure if it is too rash to break up with her over this? I just want some insight on the situation please RS.

Thanks

Bold line is BS and you might not even know it. Love needs no reason, no if's, and buts. You're feeling sorry for her now because you feel guilty of what you did.

If you want to be responsible for what you did, break up with her and tell her why. She deserves to know, but it better not be because she's not good enough.

[heisenberg]

theres not much you can do, if she takes you back, she'll take you back. you'll have to tell her eventually, but make sure its not a special moment, but make sure its not out of the blue.

you're gonna have to make her feel loved and happy. a hard thing to do after you cheated on her.

ask yourself this, what hurts more the truth or the lie?

[Iceman-19]

Lol, if you were right for each other you wouldnt be banging randoms while on vacation. Or maybe you would. Who cares. Shes not the only girl left on earth. If your not feeling it move on. Seriously. You obviously want to play, so go play. Think about your own feels, stop worrying about others feels. If you think that they (your gf) would put your needs ahead of hers your ignorant. You have one life to live, unless you can prove otherwise, so don't spend it miserable.

[saucywoman]

Telling her so you can ease your conscious, not very nice. Why hurt her that way. If you don't want to be with her break up with her and leave it at that. If you do want to be with her then make sure you don't cheat again, but if you or think you possibly will do it then definitely break it off for good
Posted via RS Mobile

[nabs]

do not under any conditions, what so ever, tell her you cheated. this will ruin her, her self confidence and she will have trust issues forever going forward in any future relationships she will have. I know people say that omg its bugging me so much, I have to tell her and blah blah bullshit, this is not TV, you are not living in a soap opera, if you truly care about her and love her like you say you do, she should not know. People who have been cheated on before will understand what I am trying to say here.

You've done the deed now live with it, don't tell her so it will make YOU feel better, because it will ruin her, and its not fair to her.

If you don't want to be with her anymore just tell her that. Don't lead her on, if she's trying to fix things and you know that you don't want it to go further, be honest with her on that point.

[mr_chin]

Wait wait wait, just hold on a sec.

People reading this have to realize that he didn't actually cheated. What is cheating? Cheating is when you lie about loving someone else while you're with someone. Cheating is when you go behind your SO's back and have sex/make love to another person.

OP didn't really cheat. He went on a vacation, met someone new, that's all. If he comes clean right away, there is no guilt or any wrongdoing. As long as he's honest about his feelings, and he tells her right away that he wants to break up because he met someone new, it's all fair game. He didn't lie, he didn't cheat, period.

And considering that this is only a year relationship, it's possible and very likely that either one of them can meet someone new.

[beproud]

^
I agrees 100%
My buddy was going to merry his long time gf(10+ years) but he wanted to tell her everything because he didn't want to hide anything. Well they didn't get merry in the end

[Noir]

nevermind.

[Fafine]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

Wait wait wait, just hold on a sec.

People reading this have to realize that he didn't actually cheated. What is cheating? Cheating is when you lie about loving someone else while you're with someone. Cheating is when you go behind your SO's back and have sex/make love to another person.

OP didn't really cheat. He went on a vacation, met someone new, that's all. If he comes clean right away, there is no guilt or any wrongdoing. As long as he's honest about his feelings, and he tells her right away that he wants to break up because he met someone new, it's all fair game. He didn't lie, he didn't cheat, period.

And considering that this is only a year relationship, it's possible and very likely that either one of them can meet someone new.

he said he hooked up with the newly met girl and then hooked up again before he left.
i think that constitutes as cheating..

[mr_chin]

Originally Posted by Noir

Oh man. Like dude WTF? Here's the quote...




I hate to rag on you again but dude... I don't know what the hell you define the term "hooking up" but please don't be that kind of guy that even that has to be spelled out for you.

I'm glad you know what kind of person I am now. I'll take back the "he didn't lie" part, but I don't consider his actions cheating if he comes clean with her right away.

I'm gonna ask again, what is cheating to you?

I wished OP stated if they slept together. Anyways, I think when it comes to dealing with someone else's problem, it's better not to assume since advices you give can be crucial if the other person is really concerned.

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

I'm glad you know what kind of person I am now. I'll take back the "he didn't lie" part, but I don't consider his actions cheating if he comes clean with her right away.

I'm gonna ask again, what is cheating to you?

I wished OP stated if they slept together. Anyways, I think when it comes to dealing with someone else's problem, it's better not to assume since advices you give can be crucial if the other person is really concerned.

wtf? are you srs?! Its not cheating if he tells her right away??

"Hey Honey! How was work?"
"Work was great! Fucked the secretary at lunch but its cool cause I'm telling you within 5 hours!"

Are you also going to suggest its not cheating if it is a different timezone? different city? country?

IMO, cheating is when some partakes in an intimate encounter (sex, kissing, groping, oral sex, handjobs, sexting, etc...and even emotionally cheating) with someone else when you are in a committed monogamous relationship.

Your logic is fucked.

[bcrdukes]

lol

[knight604]

LOL!!
Posted via RS Mobile

[Alatar]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

I'm glad you know what kind of person I am now. I'll take back the "he didn't lie" part, but I don't consider his actions cheating if he comes clean with her right away.

I'm gonna ask again, what is cheating to you?

I wished OP stated if they slept together. Anyways, I think when it comes to dealing with someone else's problem, it's better not to assume since advices you give can be crucial if the other person is really concerned.

[6793026]

how is this not cheating, so if your gf went to vegas on a gay-cation with her girl friends... it's oK if she hooked up with someone...w T F....

am I not reading the same relationship dictionary you're using?

[g00nz]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

I'm glad you know what kind of person I am now. I'll take back the "he didn't lie" part, but I don't consider his actions cheating if he comes clean with her right away.

I'm gonna ask again, what is cheating to you?

I wished OP stated if they slept together. Anyways, I think when it comes to dealing with someone else's problem, it's better not to assume since advices you give can be crucial if the other person is really concerned.

If you fucked her. You cheated. If you kissed her. You've cheated. How is that not cheating? Cheating is cheating is cheating. There might be reasons why you did it. But cheating is cheating. Grow some fucking balls and own that shit up to yourself man. Don't make the rest of us with balls look bad, cuz it doesn't matter if you tell her right after it's happened or you never tell her. To even be remotely in denial about your penis entering her vagina or your hairy tongue in hers is just not cool.

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by crawphish420

your hairy tongue in hers

WEIRD BONER TIME!!!!

[Prolowtone]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

Wait wait wait, just hold on a sec.

People reading this have to realize that he didn't actually cheated. What is cheating? Cheating is when you lie about loving someone else while you're with someone. Cheating is when you go behind your SO's back and have sex/make love to another person.

OP didn't really cheat. He went on a vacation, met someone new, that's all. If he comes clean right away, there is no guilt or any wrongdoing. As long as he's honest about his feelings, and he tells her right away that he wants to break up because he met someone new, it's all fair game. He didn't lie, he didn't cheat, period.

And considering that this is only a year relationship, it's possible and very likely that either one of them can meet someone new.

[46_valentinor]

in my opinion, telling her is selfish because you are not willing to live with the guilt and instead you are passing the pain over to her in order to make you feel better. you're just passing the bomb to her.
if you love her and truly care about her then don't ever tell her, even though if you are planning on staying with her or if you are planning to break up with her.

[mr_chin]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

wtf? are you srs?! Its not cheating if he tells her right away??

"Hey Honey! How was work?"
"Work was great! Fucked the secretary at lunch but its cool cause I'm telling you within 5 hours!"

Are you also going to suggest its not cheating if it is a different timezone? different city? country?

IMO, cheating is when some partakes in an intimate encounter (sex, kissing, groping, oral sex, handjobs, sexting, etc...and even emotionally cheating) with someone else when you are in a committed monogamous relationship.

Your logic is fucked.

I'll repeat again.

What is cheating? Cheating is when you lie about loving someone else while you're with someone. Cheating is when you go behind your SO's back and have sex/make love to another person.

I think you already presume that OP and his GF lives together, that OP and this chick fucked, and that OP loves this chick he just met.

I think that in a relationship before any commitment is made, there is still open space to meet that right person, if/when that right person comes along. And as long as he is responsible about it afterwards, then it's okay. If he continues to love his girlfriend, and sees this other chick, then that would be cheating.

It's feelings I'm talking about here, something you can't control. He was on a vacation, and if he comes home but still doesn't tell her, then it's cheating her feelings. If this was happening locally, it would instantly be cheating.

in my opinion, telling her is selfish because you are not willing to live with the guilt and instead you are passing the pain over to her in order to make you feel better. you're just passing the bomb to her.
if you love her and truly care about her then don't ever tell her, even though if you are planning on staying with her or if you are planning to break up with her.

It's a two sided debate. Some people rather know the truth and move on.

It's different for every relationship and how well you know your gf and if she's strong enough to handle it. Also, other stuff like your family and her family, commitment, etc. matters if you should tell her or not.

Considering OP's relationship is only 1 year, I assume it's not very deep, so telling her would be the right choice.

[k2_alpha]

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