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-   -   Friends who ditch (https://www.revscene.net/forums/686495-friends-who-ditch.html)

sevewone 07-20-2013 12:51 PM

Friends who ditch
 
Anyone got that one friend who cant stick to anything and always bails?

I do, and its fucking annoying. I have a buddy who seems to bail out of plans probably once every 7 times we hang out. When we hang out we get along good, but no homo I feel like I don't even want to chill with the guy. I have told him numerous times but I feel like i am just a part time friend.

What do you guys think? Ditch this fucker, or accept hes a flaky bastard?

knight604 07-20-2013 12:57 PM

Time to find new friends? Ask tos'd to chill , he will suk your toes.

sevewone 07-20-2013 01:05 PM

I have lots of friends, this is just A friend.

Nicotine 07-20-2013 01:12 PM

if hes got a legit reason then whatever,
but jsut tell him next time that if hes unsure not to say yes or to promise to come or to make you wait. this happens to often now a days and it really pisses me off.
you dont want to come do somthing fine. but dont say "ya" or "maybe" just to have me fucking wait there like a retard.

XplicitLuder 07-20-2013 01:21 PM

if you got other friends, just occupy your time with those who dont bail ?

sevewone 07-20-2013 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicotine (Post 8285566)
if hes got a legit reason then whatever,
but jsut tell him next time that if hes unsure not to say yes or to promise to come or to make you wait. this happens to often now a days and it really pisses me off.
you dont want to come do somthing fine. but dont say "ya" or "maybe" just to have me fucking wait there like a retard.

Couldn't agree more , no one now a days can give very solid answers to anything , it's almost as if bailing out and not commuting yourself to anything is socially acceptable

/rant


I have also told him numerous times not to commit if he can't .


Quote:

Originally Posted by XplicitLuder (Post 8285573)
if you got other friends, just occupy your time with those who dont bail ?

We just get along really well when we hang out .
Posted via RS Mobile

Matlock 07-20-2013 01:56 PM

I don't have friends. My girlfriend has friends.

Does they count as my friends? :alone:

kkthind 07-20-2013 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matlock (Post 8285588)
I don't have friends. My girlfriend has friends.

Does they count as my friends? :alone:


:lol:
Posted via RS Mobile

pinn3r 07-20-2013 02:12 PM

yea i got a couple friends like that

i'd call em out a few times and if they constantly bail using illegitimate reasons, i wouldn't call em out again
then we'd never chill; and frankly, i don't give a fucc
if you have better friends, don't even waste your time

wingies 07-20-2013 03:31 PM

I have friends who do that too and I basically put them on the backburner. They never want to commit to something, its a simple yes or no answer. Its like they wanna see if threres anything else better to do and if not THEN they'll chill with u

Its fucking annoying when you ask them to go for coffee,movies, or whatever and they're like "whos going" or "whos there". Like thye wanna make sure its worth their time before they commit to something

DragonChi 07-20-2013 03:43 PM

Always have a backup plan? does your world revolve around this guy?

Find new friends or hang out with other friends you have already.

BurnoutBinLaden 07-20-2013 03:51 PM

I'm not sure if this solves your problem, but one thing that helped me was seeking out friends with mutual interests. Go to Meetup.com and join a group that aligns with your hobbies. If all else fails then any "18-35 in Vancouver" group or something like that will do.

JSALES 07-20-2013 04:22 PM

I would just stop asking him to hang out. If he wants to chill, let him ask you

hchang 07-20-2013 04:39 PM

If they don't respect your time why bother
Posted via RS Mobile

sevewone 07-20-2013 04:59 PM

K just to clarify, I HAVE FUCKING FRIENDS lol. This is just *ONE* of my friends who ditches. Just getting some advice.

I am probably just going to stop hanging with him. :thumbsup:

xXSupa 07-20-2013 05:00 PM

1 out of 7 times? try 1 out of 3 times for me. It's annoying and I straight up told her. If you can't follow through with your commitments then don't commit to start with. Even if you're not sure if you'll have time, I'd much rather hear a "I'm not sure" than "Yes" which turns into a "No" last second. It's gotten a lot better since.

@above: There's no need to stop hanging with him altogether. If you really enjoy your time with him (no homo), then i don't think it would hurt to keep trying for a bit longer. How long have you known this guy?

Razor Ramon HG 07-20-2013 05:02 PM

When I came into this thread, I thought he bailed on you consistently like 1 in 2 times.

1 out of 7 times? You sound kind of like a girl, man.

sevewone 07-20-2013 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Razor Ramon HG (Post 8285724)
When I came into this thread, I thought he bailed on you consistently like 1 in 2 times.

1 out of 7 times? You sound kind of like a girl, man.


I don't know if its exactly 1 out of 7 times, its approx.

I also don't know why you think "I sound like a girl", im really just not a fan of being ditched and having my weekend fucked up over. You must have some shitty friends if they ditch you and you don't care!

Fafine 07-20-2013 05:52 PM

does that one person being there make that much of a difference that you get mad
Posted via RS Mobile

see.lai 07-20-2013 06:29 PM

tbh, I think I've bailed quite a bit as well. Happens to me as well.
What come's around, goes around?

However, I don't think much of it anymore. I just don't have the time and energy to care as much anymore. Haha.

But like what everybody else just said, find new friends. I think of it as having time off from your current friends in general. It does freshen up the friendships and becomes more fun nohomo..

Razor Ramon HG 07-20-2013 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sevewone (Post 8285735)
I don't know if its exactly 1 out of 7 times, its approx.

I also don't know why you think "I sound like a girl", im really just not a fan of being ditched and having my weekend fucked up over. You must have some shitty friends if they ditch you and you don't care!

The reason you sound like a girl is because it's like once in every seven times. Since he doesn't sound like a close friend, if you meet this guy like twice every week, that's only like once a month. Is it that really big of a deal?

When my buddies ditch me, they generally have a good reason, and I do my best to understand that in life, shit happens. I'm not that bothered by it because my world does not revolve around one person.

"Something came up? Ok, no problem, take care and I'll talk to you later."

If you feel that he's disrespecting you, it's only because you're allowing yourself to be. The choice is yours to make whether or not you want to stay friends with him, but I would recommend that you re-evaluate what you consider to be a friendship if you are so bothered by the fact that he seems to be flakey.

vafanculo 07-20-2013 09:01 PM

1 in 7 is nothing. Especially if you like him as a friend. Its annoying yes, but in a relationship (platonic too), you need to take the bad as well as the good.
Posted via RS Mobile

sevewone 07-20-2013 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Razor Ramon HG (Post 8285817)
The reason you sound like a girl is because it's like once in every seven times. Since he doesn't sound like a close friend, if you meet this guy like twice every week, that's only like once a month. Is it that really big of a deal?

When my buddies ditch me, they generally have a good reason, and I do my best to understand that in life, shit happens. I'm not that bothered by it because my world does not revolve around one person.

"Something came up? Ok, no problem, take care and I'll talk to you later."

If you feel that he's disrespecting you, it's only because you're allowing yourself to be. The choice is yours to make whether or not you want to stay friends with him, but I would recommend that you re-evaluate what you consider to be a friendship if you are so bothered by the fact that he seems to be flakey.

Yeah not sure where you got your dates / times from .. But anyways I'm not going to focus on the actual mathematical amount of time I hang out with the guy .

Sum it up, it seems like it's happening to often . I'm over it , I'm just going to start hanging out with him maybe once a month from now on
Posted via RS Mobile

bcrdukes 07-20-2013 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sevewone (Post 8285550)
I feel like i am just a part time friend.

You answered your own question and knew the solution all along.

/thread

dared3vil0 07-20-2013 10:55 PM

The most frustrating? When you text someone the night before you plan on doing something, and they respond with "oh yeah sorry gonna have to bail- (Insert excuse here) Like seriously? Wouldn't YOU text ME and tell me that...? Or when they say "yeah i gotta check when i'm working/etc and i'll get back to you, and they don't bother. Like :seriously:?


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