[MATURE DISCUSSION] First date ideas

[jello24]

Wow this thread went waaay better than I expected. Lots of great feedback, and I thought this part of the forum was dead...

So, to summarize what EVERYONE is saying, I'm over-thinking and stressing out too much for a first date and just try to keep it simple. Yeah, I imagined the responses were gonna be along those lines. Reinforces what my friends said, essentially.

Keep it simple, stay interesting, be a gentleman. Thanks guys!

Oh and the no alcohol thing? It's just a hard rule of mine. Every time I drive, no alcohol enters the system, ever. It's just a poor life choice. Especially if you have a passenger with you.

[bcrdukes]

Naked Man > Alcohol

Works 2 out of 3 times.

[NKC ONE]

DUDE that is date overload. Keep it short and sweet like others said. Spending a full day with another person on the first day would kill the relationship instantly if the mood isn't right. Don't risk it.

My favorite first date place is Steveston for outdoor fish and chip and Gelato under the sun. Keep it casual and fun. Make it a lunch thing and not a tourist full day deal. You can even walk the park, sit on the bench and just chat. Most importantly, its cheap and simple lol. Whatever you do, always include some sort of dessert activity, They really scream for ice cream, or cream for ice cream. Then just casually drive her back home, say you had a good time and ask if she would like to hang out again sometime.

Second date ideas: propose to go to the theaters and then ask if she would like to just rent a movie and chill at your place. Depending on your cooking ability, you can even cook a meal together (have some fun) eat, and watch the movie. This is the time to introduce some wine, cocktails, beer, roofy, whatever floats your boat. The rest will not be such a mature discussion.

[cruz-in]

Heres how i take things.

5 minutes. yes , 5 mins is all it takes to know if you want to continue to take her out. Why take her out to a movie, its so freakin dark and your not actually communicating!

Dinner sure, but make sure you have a pretty good attitude about paying for dinner. example : i've had friends go on first dates and go to the keg. Not to say the keg is a bad place, but he found out that she gets lazy about showering and sometimes skips a few days. Okay, so what now, your turned off , and you have to sit through a painfully long dinner, and you rant to your friends " she cost me 2 bills to find out that she was crazy, eff that. She didnt even put out."

lets say she comes to the date with a channel bag. Your like holy fuck , i won't be able to afford this bitch. now don't assume, its going to be hard, but tell her " its a pretty awesome bag" , and let her tell her story. If she tells you that she went to school for 8 years to be physiotherapist and she bought it with her first paycheck, then you know it aint so bad.

if i have learning anything in dating, short but sweet. Dessert places, Bright places, and a venue that holds a decent crowd. why you ask? whether it be cheese cake, vanilla cake, ice cream or even a coffee made in house, they're guilty pleasures.

small 1 hour date thats all you need.

make her want to see you one more time

but most important of all, remember to have fun. Brainstorming for a date can make you more nervous or uptight if plans go ape shit.

[cruz-in]

oh and this, the most important part

try to pick up on things

- fav color
- fav food
- fav scent on guys
- her meaning of "fun"
- her guilty pleasure
- adventurous or stick with the usual attitude
- ask her opinions on things ** goes a long way **


take that info and use it on future dates.

good luck!

[trancehead]

Originally Posted by NKC ONE

DUDE that is date overload. Keep it short and sweet like others said. Spending a full day with another person on the first day would kill the relationship instantly if the mood isn't right. Don't risk it.

My favorite first date place is Steveston for outdoor fish and chip and Gelato under the sun. Keep it casual and fun. Make it a lunch thing and not a tourist full day deal. You can even walk the park, sit on the bench and just chat. Most importantly, its cheap and simple lol. Whatever you do, always include some sort of dessert activity, They really scream for ice cream, or cream for ice cream. Then just casually drive her back home, say you had a good time and ask if she would like to hang out again sometime.

Second date ideas: propose to go to the theaters and then ask if she would like to just rent a movie and chill at your place. Depending on your cooking ability, you can even cook a meal together (have some fun) eat, and watch the movie. This is the time to introduce some wine, cocktails, beer, roofy, whatever floats your boat. The rest will not be such a mature discussion.

[Hash Berlin]

Go to Science World. Why not take advantage of the sex exhibit?

[GLOW]

Originally Posted by nabs

My first date with current gf...

dinner at white rock pier area restaurant, walk along the pier and just chat, it was a little chilly so gave us an excuse to get closer.

simple... and be a gentleman.

Spoiler!

and don't raise the bar high too fast

you sir...think like an engineer

[jello24]

Alright, so by compiling the results of this excellent team effort, I decided not to stack this first date so much and just keep it simple. On that note, Science World gets the axe, since it's so out of the way.

At this stage, it's just a simple dinner and dessert-type date with a bit of Downtown/park walking. Like Spoon said, if she's into me, then it doesn't matter where we go or do, as long as I treat her with utmost respect. At least this way I'm not putting up a facade that I won't be able to sustain long term.

Is it going to be boring? Someone said yeah, but I think I have enough lame jokes in the arsenal that I can pull out to make things interesting/embarrassing...

Oh and to Marshall Placid who said bring flowers, GOOD LOOKING OUT, DUDE!! With all this planning I forgot that one important thing that clarifies your intent. Makes it so much clearer that you're not just there to chill out when you walk up to her with roses... *internet bro-fist*

Thanks a lot guys and girls!

(PS. for the people suggesting I do the original list for a second date instead, both her and I have kind of already been dropping heavy hints about wanting to go to a Whitecaps game with each other all week, and since I'm a Southsider, I'm legally obliged to take everyone I know to at least one game, so I think I've already got the second date on lock as long as I don't screw up tomorrow...)
(Also, that's the time the alcohol comes out hahahaha)

[stewie]

personally I wouldn't bring flowers on a first date. my moms a florist and I still don't give them lol. seems a bit to much for me in my books. where would she keep them? in the car the whole time?(unless your picking her up from her house).

dunno what your personality is like in person, but for me im able to pick on people in a jokingly way that's funny and playful(if the girl reacts negative to it...she can hit the bricks, shes not gonna last 3 dates without wanting to kill me). ive seen many guys attempt to do it and fail miserably, so if you've got that personality, use it to your advantage.

if your doing downtown walking, gas towns a jackpot if its still early and all those small touristy shops etc are still open!

[cruz-in]

Originally Posted by stewie

personally I wouldn't bring flowers on a first date. my moms a florist and I still don't give them lol. seems a bit to much for me in my books. where would she keep them? in the car the whole time?(unless your picking her up from her house).

dunno what your personality is like in person, but for me im able to pick on people in a jokingly way that's funny and playful(if the girl reacts negative to it...she can hit the bricks, shes not gonna last 3 dates without wanting to kill me). ive seen many guys attempt to do it and fail miserably, so if you've got that personality, use it to your advantage.

if your doing downtown walking, gas towns a jackpot if its still early and all those small touristy shops etc are still open!

same here, no no to flowers on first date.

trying to be TOO romantic in my books. well thats just me, and i have an alpha male character

[trancehead]

yup fuck the flowers

and even the simplest locations, just hangingout and having the girl laughing her ass off (cause you got some good character) is worth more than some expensive dinner or elaborate locations you are going to

[dinosaur]

Le sigh.....

No dudes....always bring flowers if you can. It may be archaic...it may be cheesy...it may be a waste of money if your eye....but chicks dig the flowers. Its not about YOUR thoughts on flowers....its about hers.

Besides...its a way to have her think about you for a few days after the date. Every time she sees them, she will think about you.
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[trancehead]

always bring flowers if we can? lol.


what do you mean its not about the guys thought on the flowers?

(we dont want our boy sliding down into a beta-dom here)

[Derek_N84]

Movies suck as a first date option, the point of a first date is communication and getting to know one another, not stare at a screen.

[6793026]

nothing worse bringing in flowers and then she gets it, walks to car, puts in trunk in the summer heat and then by the time you're done. Your car smells and the flower has wilted.

it's definitely not the first day kind of thing, it's more like 3rd date as a gf / bf thing to do.

[stewie]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

Le sigh.....

No dudes....always bring flowers if you can. It may be archaic...it may be cheesy...it may be a waste of money if your eye....but chicks dig the flowers. Its not about YOUR thoughts on flowers....its about hers.

Besides...its a way to have her think about you for a few days after the date. Every time she sees them, she will think about you.
Posted via RS Mobile

Chicks dig diamonds as well, but we ain't bringing those out either

If I want a girl to remember me, she'll remember me (no sex involved either...not even a kiss)
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[jello24]

Originally Posted by stewie

dunno what your personality is like in person, but for me im able to pick on people in a jokingly way that's funny and playful(if the girl reacts negative to it...she can hit the bricks, shes not gonna last 3 dates without wanting to kill me). ive seen many guys attempt to do it and fail miserably, so if you've got that personality, use it to your advantage.

if your doing downtown walking, gas towns a jackpot if its still early and all those small touristy shops etc are still open!

actually, my personality is like yours, a bit of a joker, but I think I'm way more abrasive and aggressive with the jokes than you are... A couple of girls have called me a dick to my face before, and I was just doing a joke about doing bicep curls in a squat rack... my sarcasm and mockery has been known to have caused a couple of broken friendships, but after a week of steady conversation she seems cool with it still...

and boy, did that flower issue bring out a nice argument from both sides... On one hand, it's a gesture that's old as time, on the other hand it reeks of desperation... that's a tough one...

[punkwax]

Here's some flowers.. enjoy carrying them around or leaving them in the car for the rest of the night.

Anyway, seems like you're on the right track. Keep it simple. Gondola ride to top of Grouse (ask to wait and ride alone with her if possible) enjoy a nice dinner up top with a great view or something along those lines. Good conversation then drop her off.. unless she invites you in.

If she does and shows any signs of being interested in some extra-curricular activity then you know she's good to go and the worst thing you can do is blow it. The moment I mean...

Edit: In terms of alcohol, make sure she knows she can order whatever she wants so she doesn't feel uncomfortable if she feels like having a drink. If she questions your choice not to indulge: just tell her you don't drink when there's precious cargo in the vehicle, implying that she is the precious cargo. I think any woman would be flattered as well as look at you as a responsible man.

[Marshall Placid]

Originally Posted by jello24

and boy, did that flower issue bring out a nice argument from both sides... On one hand, it's a gesture that's old as time, on the other hand it reeks of desperation... that's a tough one...

Just 1 rose, not an entire bouquet, to show your sincerity... AND a promise of more in the future (for future dates).

Good luck and have an awesome time.

[dinosaur]

I'm not talking about a 50$ bouquet or exotic flowers, ffs. A carnation is .69 and you don't buy her flowers on every date.

And "if you can" meaning it would be stupid to bring her flowers on a first date if you are going hiking, etc.

Alpha/beta bullshit this all you want....you obviously are not buying the flowers for yourself, its for the girl....who gives a fuck if YOU like them or not. This how adults date. It isn't about games.

No shocker here that my little group of fail-stalkers are the text-book definition of beta....but please...continue on...wouldn't be a day on RS without you guys

[nabs]

let us know how it goes.

[saucywoman]

Actually if its some cheap flowers like daffodils and tulips that's actually not a bad idea. I'd say maybe a small mix. It's sweet but not expensive or over the top
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[Gridlock]

Well, let's define what we are looking to accomplish.

If you are young, and are solely looking to shed that 24 year old v-card that's weighing you down like an anchor and hope to see a set of real live boobies sometime before you are 80 then by all means, text when you are on the skytrain to meet you, have her meet you for bubble tea and try not to beg when you beg her to sleep with you. In that case, fuck the flowers.

IF you trying to go a step above, then realize that perhaps the bullshit you read on the internet isn't provided to you by the experts in the field. This is just me spitballin' here but I might actually take the advice of a woman. Just me! Maybe when you are getting a bit more mature, things like flowers and holding open the car door and going to the door are some of those "old-fashioned" ideas that still have some place in the world. It shows a little respect for her, and it shows you care a little more and it shows you are a gentleman, not a douche.

But hey, I'm sure sexting can be classy too.

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by Gridlock

IF you trying to go a step above, then realize that perhaps the bullshit you read on the internet isn't provided to you by the experts in the field. This is just me spitballin' here but I might actually take the advice of a woman. Just me! Maybe when you are getting a bit more mature, things like flowers and holding open the car door and going to the door are some of those "old-fashioned" ideas that still have some place in the world. It shows a little respect for her, and it shows you care a little more and it shows you are a gentleman, not a douche.

I give my significant other flowers all of the time, but on a first date, flowers are both impractical and are a little over the top. When I used to date, there were several things which made me stand out from the rest of the men in this city:

- I dressed like I cared: tucked in my shirt, shined my shoes, and always carried a blazer in the car
- My car was always clean, inside and out
- I wore cologne properly (one spray rubbed onto the wrists)
- Never swore on first dates and I always allowed her to finish her sentences
- Avoided slang and spoke using proper sentences
- Opened doors and minded my manners in general

Men are portrayed as slobs and blubbering fools in the media. Even in the heart of downtown Vancouver, men look disheveled 90% of the time. If you follow at least some of the tips above, you'll make yourself stand out.