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murd0c · 12-11-2013, 03:00 PM

So I’m kinda not really sure how to put this

…. I have a large group of friends and a number of older friends then myself (I’m 31) I have a friend that’s 51 who has 4 daughters and I kinda…. Well not kinda I do like his 22yr old daughter… She’s single wicked shit but just not sure at all how to approach this situation since I of course have never been in this predicament before. I’m not sure if the age difference would matter he is the same age difference with his GF but I’m just racking my brain big time since I really respect her father and his GF and of course I don’t want to disrespect/offend anyone here. I'm pretty sure his g/f knows I have feeling for her since she did make a passing comment the other week but I just kinda laughed and blew it off. Of course I would approach him if she feels the same way but in the mean time I’m just playing it cool and not sure how to proceed.

Your advice is much appreciated and if a certain someone I know see’s this keep it between us….

snails · 12-11-2013, 03:10 PM

cant tell if srs..

but given your age difference it will be like dating a toddler.. 22 year old girls are still in a party faze and you being 31.. not so much

does this girl actually have interest in you, she just lonely or did you read too far into a joke..

what do you want? a bang.. or something serious

pics of said girl

my advice would be to continue on your way for everyone's best interest.. but thats me

murd0c · 12-11-2013, 03:16 PM

Straight up srs...

Shes very very mature for her age and I party with her sisters and Dad harder then she does so it's not like shes a girl who wants to go to a bar every second day and get lp'd.. She Doesn't even drink much and no not just a bang I wouldn't do that or even think of that in this situation so yes on more of a serious thing... She really has her shit together which is one thing I like or I wouldn't even think about it.

saucywoman · 12-11-2013, 05:10 PM

First of all, do you even know if she likes you? Also, I was a very mature 22 year old and thinking back I wasn't even on the same mind set I am now. Sorry to say but with the amount she will change over the next few years would probably lead to divorce at some point. Could that wreck the relationship with the dad ever?

Thinking about that, if you do decide to go ahead just straight up tell her dad "I like your daughter but before starting a relationship with her I'd like to see if you're ok with me asking her out?"
Posted via RS Mobile

MasonJar · 12-11-2013, 05:34 PM

22 to 31 IS a big "age" difference in regards to place in life, but if you are comfortable with where she is in HER life then I think it may be okay.

You have a more intimate relationship with her and her family, so it is not like you are picking up some random 22 yo from a bar and hoping she doesn't still have a teddy bear on her bed. If you know her maturity, if you know where she in in her life, if you know her habits, job, goals, attitude, and are comfortable with all of it, then you should go for it.

I would be hesitant if you are thinking, "oh, she would be great if.....she didn't still fight with her parents...or if she had a stable job...or if she wasn't so emotionally immature" but they way you describe her, she sounds kinda cool.

We can all sit back and look at how we have grown since 'x' age but OF COURSE we have. She will grow too but so will you....doesn't mean it is a bad thing.

The only thing YOU need to reconcile is how your relationship with her parents will change and how do you deal with the friendship if things turn sour? You will no longer be their friend...you will be the daughter's boyfriend. Your choice to date her is a big one...it would be like dating someone who has kids - a lot of people may get hurt if it doesn't work out. Its a lot to think about, man. On the other hand...there is always the chance you guys will have a great future together.

I wouldn't worry so much about the age thing as I would about the family. At the end of the day, however, if you feel it with her....go for it!

Recon604 · 12-11-2013, 06:14 PM

damn murdoc u got too many problems

Presto · 12-11-2013, 06:29 PM

From experience, your main opposition will be the family. Is your friend, and the rest of the family, going to be cool with it? I was friends with my mother-in-law before I even knew my wife existed, and even knowing that I was a good guy, she was a bit leary in letting me date her daughter that was 10 years younger than I.

tiger_handheld · 12-11-2013, 06:34 PM

confirm feelings with said girl
talk to dad over beer
proceed to stick up her bum in true RS fashion
PROFITZ!

murd0c · 12-11-2013, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saucywoman

First of all, do you even know if she likes you? Also, I was a very mature 22 year old and thinking back I wasn't even on the same mind set I am now. Sorry to say but with the amount she will change over the next few years would probably lead to divorce at some point. Could that wreck the relationship with the dad ever?

Thinking about that, if you do decide to go ahead just straight up tell her dad "I like your daughter but before starting a relationship with her I'd like to see if you're ok with me asking her out?"
Posted via RS Mobile

No question if I find out she likes me which I dont know yet cause shes giving me mixed signals I will ask her dad right away. Like I said I respect him a lot and he deserves that rather then going behind his back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MasonJar

22 to 31 IS a big "age" difference in regards to place in life, but if you are comfortable with where she is in HER life then I think it may be okay.

You have a more intimate relationship with her and her family, so it is not like you are picking up some random 22 yo from a bar and hoping she doesn't still have a teddy bear on her bed. If you know her maturity, if you know where she in in her life, if you know her habits, job, goals, attitude, and are comfortable with all of it, then you should go for it.

I would be hesitant if you are thinking, "oh, she would be great if.....she didn't still fight with her parents...or if she had a stable job...or if she wasn't so emotionally immature" but they way you describe her, she sounds kinda cool.

We can all sit back and look at how we have grown since 'x' age but OF COURSE we have. She will grow too but so will you....doesn't mean it is a bad thing.

The only thing YOU need to reconcile is how your relationship with her parents will change and how do you deal with the friendship if things turn sour? You will no longer be their friend...you will be the daughter's boyfriend. Your choice to date her is a big one...it would be like dating someone who has kids - a lot of people may get hurt if it doesn't work out. Its a lot to think about, man. On the other hand...there is always the chance you guys will have a great future together.

I wouldn't worry so much about the age thing as I would about the family. At the end of the day, however, if you feel it with her....go for it!

Honestly I think I'm making the age more of a big deal since she is so mature for her age and likes older guys as well. I've just known the family for around 10 years. I get along with her older sister and her b/f so well and "she" lives with them and just recently her sis is always inviting me over to party with them.

The relationship I have with her dad is the best I have with anyone I consider an adult that could in reality be my father(which I said to him last week

shit I bet him a case of beer about 6 years ago to go swim in harrison lake in feb while camping when it was -15 out. I think thats one thing that really attracts me on top of who she is cause family is important to me and everyone else I have dated has always been in fucked up situations which was a turn off.

Her Birthday is Tuesday and I'm thinking about sending her flowers with them not saying who they are from. If she confronts me about it I will admit it but that will help me gauge if those signals shes sending me are false or not. Is that a good idea?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Recon604

damn murdoc u got too many problems

fuck man thats the trouble I got into being a month off work hanging with her dad and his g/f and texting her everyday all day

corollagtSr5 · 12-12-2013, 01:51 AM

Zedbra · 12-12-2013, 08:02 AM

In the name of the "almost father" friendship, I would walk away from his daughter. Friendship first. Leave it like it is, the one you can't have - it's sometimes best to have the fantasy rather than the fruit. At least, this is what I would do. It's hard to find good friends, so I would respect 'dad' first.

However, it sounds like you are wanting to go through with pursuing her. So my two cents - the anonymous flowers is a bad idea. Either man up and give her something personally from your hand to hers and gauge her reaction or don't do anything until you are ready to man up and talk to her personally about your intentions. It seems that you have great communication with her parents, and with her family, so nothing less should be expected from you regarding her and what her parents will see as her best interests.

Now - where's the pics?

BoostedBB6 · 12-12-2013, 08:28 AM

Would you want to be having kids in 8-10 years time?

That puts you late 30's early 40's to have a kid. So when your kid graduates highschool you would be a senior citizen.

Shes 22, shes GOING to change and grow from who she is no. No question about it. Does she want the same things you do?

I would not even bother with it IMO. You risk a friendship, the likelihood of it working in the long run is slim. Keep your friend, forget the daughter and find someone in there late 20's who has there life together and is on the same page financially, mentally and emotionally.

mr_chin · 12-12-2013, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by murd0c

So I’m kinda not really sure how to put this

…. I have a large group of friends and a number of older friends then myself (I’m 31) I have a friend that’s 51 who has 4 daughters and I kinda…. Well not kinda I do like his 22yr old daughter… She’s single wicked shit but just not sure at all how to approach this situation since I of course have never been in this predicament before. I’m not sure if the age difference would matter he is the same age difference with his GF but I’m just racking my brain big time since I really respect her father and his GF and of course I don’t want to disrespect/offend anyone here. I'm pretty sure his g/f knows I have feeling for her since she did make a passing comment the other week but I just kinda laughed and blew it off. Of course I would approach him if she feels the same way but in the mean time I’m just playing it cool and not sure how to proceed.

Your advice is much appreciated and if a certain someone I know see’s this keep it between us….

Age gap is not a problem. The problem is the age group. You're in the age of pursuing a career, probably wanting to get married, have kids, settle down. She's in her peak of education for a career, party, meet people, make new friends.

It's not impossible, but it's very hard. Unless you two have the same goals, and agree upon the same timeline, then it might work.

You still have to keep in mind that if you two are dating or are in relationship, it'll be so awkward when you bring her to meet your friends that is your age or she bring you to meet hers.

Good luck.

MasonJar · 12-12-2013, 09:08 AM

I say go for it! You don't seem like a guy who is making a poorly thought-out decision.

I have a buddy who just turned 45. His wife 33 and they have a 4 year old kid. Their life is great. He doesn't look 45...doesn't have an "old man" mentality, and nobody would ever know.

If it feels good, do it. With all the other shit you are dealing with right now, I am sure this would bring a little sunshine.

Tapioca · 12-12-2013, 09:50 AM

Many women have a 'mental growth spurt' when they hit their late 20s. No matter how mature this woman may be at 22, there is a strong possibility that she may change her mind about what she wants in life and whom she wants to spend her life with (if with anyone at all). Age gap is less of an issue when both people are in their 30s and up.

Forget about a serious, long-term relationship with this woman. If you want to have some fun on the other hand, go for it.
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vafanculo · 12-12-2013, 10:02 AM

Age isn't the issue. As a father, I'd kill you. Maybe your friends idea behind it is different. Ask him first.

Prepare to be killed, though.
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xmisstrinh · 12-12-2013, 11:43 AM

31/2+7= 22.5. Round up to 23. you are not in the clear.

Ulic Qel-Droma · 12-12-2013, 12:50 PM

how about u make sure the daughter digs you first.

if she does then go to step 2. but right now you gotta figure out step 1. if she likes you.

age thing who cares, as long as your dick is hard for her, and her pussy is wet for you, thats all good. and i guess as long as it's legal, for those morally straight people... anyway LOL.

Ri2 · 12-13-2013, 11:22 PM

I agree with Saucy. Age doesnt define maturity because that's up to the individual. I've always been considered mature for my age, when I was 14 everyone assumed I was at least 18 and all my friends were in their late 20's early 30's. If she's mature enough for you and you guys connect that's all that matters. I mean she's legal all over the world so it's fine, my cut off is if they're not even allowed to party in Vegas thennnn...ehh..

Def approach her dad FIRST. Express your interest and that you respect his decision, then follow through. Keep in mind you have to be on your best behaviour you cant just fuck around and be a dick when you're not interested anymore in the best interests of the friendship.

Be honest, don't try to hide shit from her dad, respect his wishes and her as a person. Be an adult. You should be fine.

6793026 · 12-14-2013, 08:15 AM

if you're 55 married at 43 yr old girl. that's all good CLAP CLAP CLAP congrads.
if you're 45 and married a 33 that's also great.
but if you're 35 and you married at 23... errrrr that's pretty fooked up man.

MasonJar · 12-14-2013, 01:58 PM

Don't worry so much about age, man...

Paul Walker was 33 when he started dating his girlfriend....she was 16 at the time. Nobody seems to think that was a problem :/

jeedee · 12-14-2013, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmisstrinh

31/2+7= 22.5. Round up to 23. you are not in the clear.

lol this

"half your age plus 7. The lower the number: she's too young for you bro "
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JShifter · 12-15-2013, 05:30 PM

I say go for it because life's to short who knows what can happen. If you never try you will regret. Remember happiness comes within one self if you listen to other people opinion then the so call miracles won't happen. With you best of luck!

xmisstrinh · 12-15-2013, 06:20 PM

Buddy, listen to me. I had a friend, 22, married a 34 year old guy a few years back. People kept asking me "is that her dad?"

edit: she was deeply, deeply disturbed, might I add. Although she seemed mature, blah blah blah... if you *really* knew her, she was fuken psycho. She wouldn't put out unless he married her. Just sayin.

MasonJar · 12-15-2013, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmisstrinh

Buddy, listen to me. I had a friend, 22, married a 34 year old guy a few years back. People kept asking me "is that her dad?"

edit: she was deeply, deeply disturbed, might I add. Although she seemed mature, blah blah blah... if you *really* knew her, she was fuken psycho. She wouldn't put out unless he married her. Just sayin.

Waaaaaaaaaay to project your one experience on to another person's situation.

From what I have seen of Murd0c...he still looks young and virile

*waiting for update*