Is this "normal" behaviour in your opinion?
 

Posted on behalf of a friend.

I wanted to get your input on this situation about what you would do and/or what would make you stop, if this is "normal" behaviour in your opinion.

START

I broke up with an ex over a year ago. It was on not on good terms, as there were already a number of issues during the relationship. I had no intention of ever speaking to him again, because he simply made me miserable.

It dragged out for much longer than it should've and a number of people I knew, that knew about him, said I should've called it quits long ago based on the things he did.

He was a compulsive liar, and would make up stories about having ex-girlfriends that made him feel insecure, and have me feel bad for him and eventually even pity him. He would have yelling fits, when he didn't get what he wanted. He was quite selfish and irrational, but I just shrugged it off.

He would constantly complain about all my friends, and say how they were all intentionally out to get him, and how much of a threat they were. He would get upset every time I was out with my friends, and he would expect me to tag along with him while he does his own thing or goes out with his friends.

After it ended, he would constantly contact me, asking to hang out and be friends, and commented on anything I posted on social media. I already deleted him off everything, but he would use his friend's accounts to creep on my stuff. He would ask me to help him learn to talk to girls, to talk about cars, hobbies, and what-have-you.

I had already given him back all his stuff, for some reason he wanted to keep my things and even held it hostage, saying I would have to hang out with him to get them back.

Anyways, fast forward to today, he would always text me consistently every time he sees my car somewhere and asks me what I'm doing there, who I'm with, etc. even though I've been ignoring him all this time. I already told him I have no intentions of being friends with him, as we were not friends prior to dating.

It is becoming stalker-ish as he would ask if I'm at home or not if he doesn't see my car, or if I'm working at a place, or out somewhere. Apparently he says his friends see me around and report to him where they see me, which is pretty messed up.

END

Why would anyone carry on with this behaviour?
If you were friends with this guy, why would you encourage it or help him?
What would make you stop?

As always, everyone's opinion would be much appreciated.

LOL what a fucking beta

Sounds like you need a restraining order

srs

Sounds like buddy needs to move the fuck on..

lol strong white knight detected. you chose a winner. srs

I would have a lawyer draft up a letter threatening a pursuit of legal action (ie restraining order) if his contact persists

meowmeow is that you?

Buddy sounds like he's heading into restraining order territory, you should notify him of this and tell him that if he doesn't back off legal action will be taken.

go to the police and file a report. They will have a nice chat with him and he won't bug you again. The only way he will stop is if the police is invole.

He should learn to respect you. When I broke up with my ex it was on good terms and we still hang out and chat. Actually we talk about our current gf/bfs it weird but it works lol. I guess you can say we have a really close relationship but feelings aren't there.

Why would anyone carry on with this behaviour?
He can't believe that you don't reciprocate his feelings, since he still feels the way he does. Words will not make him stop, so stop trying to reason with stupid. Get a new boyfriend, move on with your life. Your ex sounds like the type of guy to be immediately intimidated by any other guy ... so future BFs/relationships could alleviate the problem, though you shouldn't feel rushed into anything as rebound-relationships are typically shortlived anyhow

If you were friends with this guy, why would you encourage it or help him?
What would make you stop?
He needs to get laid. I am unsure of your age or anything else, but assuming you guys are young it's very possibly that you are the first girl to pay him any kind of attention / possibly the girl he lost his virginity to. If the latter is the case, good fucking luck. He will haunt you until he finds another girl to obsess over

As always, everyone's opinion would be much appreciated
If you really want to make a clean break from him, you might have to burn some bridges with some people you may otherwise like. The cliche phrase comes to mind: "The people in your life are like seasons, everything changes for a reason"

-- maybe you're growing up (again, don't know your age so take it w/ a grain of salt) and you're starting to realize the ramifications of adult problems, you can no longer be a social butterfly with a bajillion friends on your friendslist. Your time is precious, and the older you get the more you realize what a fleeting commodity it really is -- protect it. Do not allow people to have easy access to you, focus on yourself, make yourself better. If you must, delete everyone you don't talk to on a semi-regular basis off friendslists, change your cell phone number, burn bridges, etc.



#BCRDUKESFORPRESIDENT2016

STFU TOS'd

That's the kind of abrasive language that wears down bullying victims until they commit suicide. That's not cool, man. It is clear that our friend TOS'd is going through some sexual/psychological uncertainty and it is up to us as his revscene family to help him -- not to berate him you fixy riding, steeped loose tea drinking butt trumpeter.

Worst thread ever.

Just go jump off the Lions Gate Bridge during rush hour.

And inconvenience every motorist who could care less about the insignificance of some unknown soul's life?


You're a real asshole, there's a special place in hipster hell for you

What the hell? That is not normal behaviour at all...

^

http://media.giphy.com/media/YOvJuai8jPGpO/giphy.gif

Lol, he's too beat up for not posting the confidential thread :troll:

In Canada it's called a "peace bond" (ccc. 810)

:facepalm:

you can't just walk into a lawyers office and ask that a restraining order be placed on an individual.

the proper process is as follows:

1) you need to contact the police
2) the police will do an investigation
3) the police will forward an RTCC to Crown Counsel; in certain cases when there is a more serious nature they may bring the peace bond request directly to Crown to review immediately.
4) Crown Counsel will review said RTCC (if it wasnt brought over immediately).
5) they decide if the facts meet the standard for an s.810 peace bond to be laid
6) an information is sworn with the victim/complainant as well as the accused/defendant listed.
7) the peace bond becomes binding.

OP should start at step 1 of the process and see where it goes from there. given that TOS'd started this thread, the potential for it to be trolling is high. however, IF it really is someone requiring a peace bond against another individual they should contact the police right away.

Stop being a little bitch about it seriously. Yes hearts were broken and tears were shed but you just have a to move on about it. This world has too much to offer and explore for you to keep doing this. If you think this is some sort of teasing tactic you should also stop being it's clearly not working and you're not getting the upper hand at all, in fact the lower hand. Work on yourself and do things better instead of thinking of these useless feelings because thinking of the past and staying there has no real outcome anyways so why are you even bothering. She's not gonna come back if you pester her, text her, beg her then why bother anymore with this.

I would waste all that energy and thought into making myself a better person instead and also finding a better person. My 2 cents.

According to rs, time to get a restraining order against you

oh no, how do I creep you now.

on srs note, where the fuck u been.

Yes I know, I'm not sure why you think I'm saying that. To reword my previous post, it sounds like the creepy ex is heading into peace bond territory, OP should notify him of this and tell him that if he doesn't back off OP'll start the process to take legal action.

tha fuck just happen in here?

Posted on behalf of a friend.

You're fortunate to not have to deal with my kind of ex. Seems like you were probably friends before dating as well, or had mutual friends which helps. Whereas my case was not.

Both mid 20s. Reread some screenshots of his messages and they will make anyone cringe so hard. I've moved on already, but he doesn't seem like he wants to. He is pretty much having a conversation by himself and unfortunately you cannot block every single message on the many messaging apps/programs out there.

This isn't a troll thread. But thank you for the steps, I will look into it. It seems like this is a very small deal and I'm not sure a peace bond will work in the end.

A BIG thing is closure.

You said you gave him back all his things, etc., etc.

And yes, you said:
"already told him I have no intentions of being friends with him".

I'm unsure if they were text messages, or softly saying to him, or what...

----------->
Be more forceful.

Plant your feet and tell him exactly how you feel, his being "stalkerish" and weird, etc.

Tell him to GTFO and move on.

Tell him to stop being a whinny bitch and man up, and just move on.

Don't just suggest.

Forcefully enunciate it to him.

If needed, tell him to get a life and everybody should just move on.

---------------------------

If this doesn't work, maybe a little covert operations?

If you have a good guy friend, ask him to pretend to be your new boyfriend.

Your ex will definitely see what is happening (from his stalker-ish actions) and then your ex MAY just give up.

Just my two cents.