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Old 10-24-2015, 10:46 PM   #1
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Justin Trudeau files 35 million workplace harassment complaints against Canada

Justin Trudeau files 35 million workplace harassment complaints against Canada - The Beaverton - North America's Trusted Source of News

Justin Trudeau files 35 million workplace harassment complaints against Canada
Saturday, 24 October 2015 16:42 Written by Pat Dussault



OTTAWA – Less than one week after guiding his party to a surprise majority in the federal election, Prime Minister-designate Justin Trudeau has already filed 35 million workplace harassment complaints against his employers, the people of Canada.

“Obviously this isn’t the way I envisioned starting a new job,” explained Trudeau, “But I can’t work like this. Everywhere I go, women keep calling me names like ‘The PMILF,’ telling me to smile more, and yelling things like “show us your abs!” This morning, Marc Garneau and Bill Blair had a 45-minute conversation about how fuckable I am. In my office. Right in front me.”

The Liberal leader went on to add that the problem is even worse online, where his social media feeds have been inundated with shirtless photos of him, invitations from constituents to “Netflix and chill,” as well as countless links to editorial pieces on what political insiders all agree is “a pretty stellar D”.

The harassment has become so pervasive, Trudeau notes, that’s it’s even spread beyond Canada’s borders.

“Angela Merkel drunk dialled me at 3am last night,” recounted the Papineau MP, “To tell me she’d rather sit on my face than on the UN Security Council.”

But while Trudeau sees himself as a victim, the government’s Chief Human Resources Officer places blame for the unwanted attention squarely on the taut, muscular shoulders Canada’s 29th Prime Minister. In a statement released today, the CHRO claimed that Mr. Trudeau is “asking for it with those suits he wears.”

“The guy just spent two and half months travelling across the country, begging Canadians to let him show us what he can do,” the statement continued. “And then when we try to take him up on it, he complains.”

“Fuckin’ tease.”
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Old 10-24-2015, 11:06 PM   #2
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Now the real question is if whether Timpo thinks this is real.
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Old 10-24-2015, 11:09 PM   #3
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people change
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Timpo though
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Old 10-24-2015, 11:30 PM   #4
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Not sure if this is legit.
Tried to find a 2nd news source to compare, but couldn't find anything about it on The Onion.

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Old 10-25-2015, 12:49 AM   #5
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^ Being a Canadian story, you'd have to look at the Syrup Trap.
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reading this thread is like waiting for goku to charge up a spirit bomb in dragon ball z
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OH thank god. I thought u had sex with my wife. :cry:
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Old 10-25-2015, 08:25 AM   #6
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You need to get yourself checked if you have to confirm if the news is real or not.
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Old 10-25-2015, 08:47 AM   #7
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Dafuq did I just read? 35 million complaints filed? If they are gonna make shit up at least make it a believable number.
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Old 10-25-2015, 09:29 AM   #8
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I saw this on fb, therefore it must be true!
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Old 10-25-2015, 11:42 AM   #9
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Dafuq did I just read? 35 million complaints filed? If they are gonna make shit up at least make it a believable number.
It's the population of Canada
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Old 10-25-2015, 10:00 PM   #10
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It's the population of Canada
It's still hard for me to comprehend that California's population is the same as Canada's.

Well, I guess it's nothing compared to China or India, but still.

Actually, this guy at a party once told me that when he was in China, he would go to these bars where you could "buy" girls for the night to be with you, feed you, pretty much do whatever you wanted and he said they only made $1-2 USD per day.

I didn't believe that, but he swore that's what they told him. I think they just told him that so he would tip them. He said he would tip each girl like $20USD and every time he went back, he would be swarmed by the girls.


lol, sorry i'm off topic here.
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Old 10-25-2015, 10:02 PM   #11
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BRB, going to China...
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Old 10-25-2015, 10:16 PM   #12
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It's still hard for me to comprehend that California's population is the same as Canada's.
Actually California is supposedly over the 40 million threshold now. So they are actually still way beyond us.
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Old 10-26-2015, 06:42 AM   #13
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WTF is this news site...

A few headline below Timpo's:
Tearful Stephen Harper boards spaceship for return to home planet - The Beaverton - North America's Trusted Source of News

"CALGARY - Following Stephen Harper's emotional concession speech Monday night, hundreds of Conservative Party supporters claimed to have seen a massive blue object launching from Harper's home base of Calgary Heritage."


Oh haha. On every "news" article:
"Do you enjoy our reporting? Help us grow our coverage and reach by purchasing a voluntary subscription to our content. You will be supporting a Canadian brand that promotes social and economic justice."
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Old 10-26-2015, 12:48 PM   #14
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Hey Timpo, do you have news about our PM Trudeau driving a GT-R?
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Old 10-26-2015, 05:31 PM   #15
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seems like you got a dick up your ass well..get that checked
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