You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.
Vancouver Off-Topic / Current EventsThe off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.
I'll be in Mexico when she moves all her stuff out, who knows if we'll speak again. Part of me does want some closure to all of this, I want to understand it all, why did she do all this. I hate ending things on these terms, and don't want to walk away thinking she's this evil, vile being, and second guess the person she ever was in the first place. It's fucking with my head to a degree, and I don't want to believe that.
Perhaps closure will never come, in hindsight this might've been the best way to have ended this 6-year relationship, and to allow me to move on. She moves into a new place 5 minutes down the street from me, and this breakup could've strung me along for months more thinking we were working on things from apart, trying to "reset", when clearly that wasn't the case. She had other intentions not known to me.
Sorry to hear about how it ended, Mike. And the way it ended sounded absolutely crazy.
With at least a few ex-es, I had gone through a similar mental state as you are doing now, although my past relationships mostly only ended bcos of incompatibility or that we were looking for different things. Still, there were parts of me that wanted closure, parts that wanted to understand how it came to happen, why she found it necessary to end our relationship, etc. In most cases, I never got the closure or answers I wanted, and closure only came when enough time has passed, or that I had let go myself. But in most cases, full closure never came. I'd like to believe that this sort of thing in life is what makes us human, that help us mature, and give us the desire to do better than what we weren't able to do in the past.
Take care and hang in there, bro.
Advertisement
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by westopher
The whole world has gone down a road no one can recover from, and it's nothing to do with governments, it's because so much of the general public is so fucking stupid.
That sucks bro, I got nothing else to add but stay strong and you'll get through this. In any rate a guy like you probably won't be single for long...or at least without companionship for very long.
Mike's ex sounds like some sort of an avoidant to me. Look it up, (attachment theory), it might help you with closure and an understanding that you might not get from her. I got wrecked after many years with one and am still sorting out the ashes of my world that she set on fire and then pissed on. 2-years of therapy and I
'm still trying to rebuild myself. Once they get exposed from their prim and proper ways that they show the world, they simply wont give a fuck about you
But you should be able to move on pretty quick... I mean, you're not like your typical 40-something guy who's balding, overweight, and sleeping on his mom's couch who finds himself single after a divorce. You've already locked in on the gym, you have a 6-figure income, and you have your own place. You're doing better than 90-95% of the single men in their 40s. It’s all mental for you now.
I turned 50 in December, my work outs have been fairly consistent 5-6 days a week but I can't seem to lose fat or put on muscle. I've probably gained 10 pounds over the last year, not good weight and almost all of it one my belly.
I understand that age and diet have a lot to do with it and if I'm being honest with my self my diet is probably the main issue. I know for sure I'm not getting enough protein, problem is I'm not a big meat eater and having trouble getting enough. I also have an issue with snacking after dinner, this has always been an issue but the 2 years before this last one it was sustainable with exercise and kind of the one thing that keeps me sane knowing I'm not depriving myself of things I enjoy.
I'm seriously considering getting my Testosterone tested and if low going the TRT route. Has anyone here done this, did it help?
__________________
The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I donīt care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. Thatīs how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth. - Rocky Balboa
I turned 50 in December, my work outs have been fairly consistent 5-6 days a week but I can't seem to lose fat or put on muscle. I've probably gained 10 pounds over the last year, not good weight and almost all of it one my belly.
I understand that age and diet have a lot to do with it and if I'm being honest with my self my diet is probably the main issue. I know for sure I'm not getting enough protein, problem is I'm not a big meat eater and having trouble getting enough. I also have an issue with snacking after dinner, this has always been an issue but the 2 years before this last one it was sustainable with exercise and kind of the one thing that keeps me sane knowing I'm not depriving myself of things I enjoy.
I'm seriously considering getting my Testosterone tested and if low going the TRT route. Has anyone here done this, did it help?
You've pretty much hit most of the issues right on already.
Snacking after dinner is a big problem, if you must, pick something that's less calories like plain popcorn.
Not eating enough meat is not the main issue there's plenty of ways to get protein, the bigger issue is being heavy on easy carbs like rice and noodles and pasta. You might want to move on to quinoa, or cut the amount of easy carbs. The chicken and broccoli diet works and that's why so many ppl are on it.
not necessarily, theres alot of details and fine print, reason for separation, and how you want to get lawyers involved.
Half of the assets accumulated during the relationship.
If they rented, it's just pensions and other savings. It all depends on who accumulated more assets during their relationship. People just assume it's the man, but not always.
mon-fri ive been keeping calories super low (under 900) in anticipation of vday and cny weekend.
post workout: protein shake 120 cal
meal 1: 1 cup chicken broth 20 cal and 3 eggs 150 cal
snack: fruit of some sort, lets call it 100 cal
meal 2: 1 cup chicken broth 20 cal and 4oz hotpot steak 300 cal
post 2nd workout: casein shake 120 cal
Ya we broke up in the worst way possible, I never would've thought it would end the way it did.
Been there, done that. Been on both sides. I cheated, gf found out. She forgave me and then i foudn her cheating.
ANYHOO. Like some of you said, better to know rather than 'what if' it was me type feeling. 5 yrs is going to rough and on the other hand, you'll never feel the same esp with the Iwas in my bed whole time while...
purge and let it go. it's a new day i guess. best of luck to ya. I think the best revenge was "how the hell did he know" is always the best feeling cause she'll always wonder why, what, where.. and the ghost will haunt her for good.
I turned 50 in December, my work outs have been fairly consistent 5-6 days a week but I can't seem to lose fat or put on muscle. I've probably gained 10 pounds over the last year, not good weight and almost all of it one my belly.
I understand that age and diet have a lot to do with it and if I'm being honest with my self my diet is probably the main issue. I know for sure I'm not getting enough protein, problem is I'm not a big meat eater and having trouble getting enough. I also have an issue with snacking after dinner, this has always been an issue but the 2 years before this last one it was sustainable with exercise and kind of the one thing that keeps me sane knowing I'm not depriving myself of things I enjoy.
I'm seriously considering getting my Testosterone tested and if low going the TRT route. Has anyone here done this, did it help?
I had my testosterone checked at my last blood test as I'm the same age as you and was following the advice here about it getting it checked but turned out mine was fine. Turns out the difficulty in adding muscle and losing fat at 50 is just old age.
Besides your diet (which is definitely THE main issue) I wonder if you're working out too much and not allowing enough time for recovery. 5-6 times is a lot for a 50 year old unless you've always worked out that much or the workouts are pretty light/broken down. Is your cardio high enough to push hard with weight training? At our age the V02 max expectations are surprisingly low - an average 50 y.o male's can get pretty gassed (cardio wise) lifting.
Keep the workouts, add in daily walking (aim for 8-10k steps daily), increase protein/fibre to keep you feeling full, stop/decrease post dinner snacking entirely if you can. You need to get the calories under control if you want to start losing fat. The main culprit is usually an excess of carbs as mentioned above.
But you should be able to move on pretty quick... I mean, you're not like your typical 40-something guy who's balding, overweight, and sleeping on his mom's couch who finds himself single after a divorce. You've already locked in on the gym, you have a 6-figure income, and you have your own place. You're doing better than 90-95% of the single men in their 40s. Its all mental for you now.
Mike's in his financial prime, and physically more prime than most out there. he'll be fine. like most guys (i know a few going thru divorces last year or 2), it's mostly mental - getting over it and being strong and moving on. easier said than done. 1 acquaintance after almost 2 years is finally in a good mental state which is great b/c at 1 point he was close to rock bottom.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CivicBlues
Wait hol up, doesn't your ex get half your stuff Mike? Since you're probably common law I'm guessing.
outside of complications, i recall he said she makes pretty decent bank. assuming they're fairly even financially, hopefully he won't get taken to the cleaners and can split as fair & amicably as possible. hopefully she's not the type that likes drama and dragging it out, b/c only lawyers win in those cases.
i think the best revenge is to live a healthy/happy/prosperous life, show indifference and zero interaction. ignore and move on, as if she meant nothing and already forgotten. i think a lot of people have main character syndrome and like seeing the impact they have on people.
...
outside of complications, i recall he said she makes pretty decent bank. assuming they're fairly even financially, hopefully he won't get taken to the cleaners and can split as fair & amicably as possible. hopefully she's not the type that likes drama and dragging it out, b/c only lawyers win in those cases.
i think the best revenge is to live a healthy/happy/prosperous life, show indifference and zero interaction. ignore and move on, as if she meant nothing and already forgotten. i think a lot of people have main character syndrome and like seeing the impact they have on people.
You are remembering some wrong details.
She's got massive debt.... I don't think it was loc, I think it was credit card debt.
She lied about making bank unless she's working multiple jobs because her earnings are public knowledge.
How she even going to afford legal aid with no money.
Best case scenario is she hides in shame so Mike doesn't have to deal with her crappy financial situation.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
