[Confidential] Want to end on good terms

[El Bastardo]

The following is an anonymous post. If the original poster would like to reply to any comments, please PM me


So my ex-girlfriend broke up with me a month ago. The reason for it is (lol) that I was being too affectionate towards her and treating her too well, and she no longer felt the passion and the physical attraction that she once felt towards me. Though the relationship wasn't long (5 months), I was really upset because she never hinted at a break up before suddenly telling me that it's over. Anyways, that was a month ago, and now I feel like I've done a decent job recovering emotionally. I do still think about the times we had from time to time but I've realized that she's not the right girl for me and all I want is to move on.

Anywas, I was at the gym earlier today and saw her there. I know she saw me as well, and she just kept looking away and avoiding all the spots I was working out at. I have no intentions of getting back together with her and I know she feels the same way, but why is she ignoring me? All I want is to end things on good terms and for some reason it seems she doesn't feel the same way.

I just want to hear everyone's opinion on this matter... Thanks!

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

Anywas, I was at the gym earlier today and saw her there. I know she saw me as well, and she just kept looking away and avoiding all the spots I was working out at. I have no intentions of getting back together with her and I know she feels the same way, but why is she ignoring me? All I want is to end things on good terms and for some reason it seems she doesn't feel the same way.

I just want to hear everyone's opinion on this matter... Thanks!

To be honest (and this is going to sound harsh)....she pities you.

Who cares if she ignores you. Not every break-up needs to result in a friendship. You guys only dated for 5 months...its been a month since...maybe she has nothing to say to you and wants to avoid an awkward situation.

In reality, the adult or mature thing to do would be to briefly say "Hi! How are you" quickly, but if she broke-up with you because you were "too affectionate", she doesn't seem like the most mature girl.

[Recon604]

What is "good terms" for you? As in you guys being friends?

She doesnt seem to be wanting you around her so I doubt she wants to be friends. Part of me tells me you havent moved on. So its not a good idea you guys to be friends.

Mind your own business at the gym, dont let her distract you from getting your gains! Show her that you're better off without her. Make those gains!

[mr_chin]

^ Agreed.

You're still holding on to something obviously because you're paying attention to her at the gym.

Good terms would be if you guys bumped into each other in a situation where you guys can't avoid, and just say hi, how are you? etc.

[corollagtSr5]

rollergrip left him because of you guys

[Noir]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

To be honest (and this is going to sound harsh)....she pities you.

Who cares if she ignores you. Not every break-up needs to result in a friendship. You guys only dated for 5 months...its been a month since...maybe she has nothing to say to you and wants to avoid an awkward situation.

In reality, the adult or mature thing to do would be to briefly say "Hi! How are you" quickly, but if she broke-up with you because you were "too affectionate", she doesn't seem like the most mature girl.

Why not? What if "too affectionate" is just a euphemism for "clingy" or "needy".

I don't know if that's the case here but they're totally valid turn offs sometimes; not just to immature people.

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by Noir

Why not? What if "too affectionate" is just a euphemism for "clingy" or "needy".

I don't know if that's the case here but they're totally valid turn offs sometimes; not just to immature people.

You are right.

But because he added that her reasoning also included, "and treating her too well"....I surmised that she is a little "off".

[Gridlock]

Here is the tree of a relationship:

1. Meet
2. Get together(exit here if it works out)
3. Break-up
4. Awkward moments(hey, we used to bone, now you're somebody that I use to know)
5. Period of amicable conversation(hey! its been so long.)

You are right in that awkward period where not enough time has gone by, where you aren't going to have that genuine interest in catching up, but its awkward to ignore each other.

Most people would go with a wave from a distance...I acknowledge that I see you, but recognize that a conversation is awkward, but maybe she's not up on break up etiquette.

[6793026]

dude, there is NOTHING wrong for treating a good well and after 5 months when all the free meals, boring sex, doing the same movies, dine out, things settle down and gets boring. It's usually couples in this case that makes it or break it and in this case, this bitch got bored and didn't end up like those sappy Taiwanese love stories of happily ever after and she dumped you.

just be glad she ain't fucking someone already and the fact she ain't talking to you, that's great! Stand strong, stand proud and stand up for yourself because you KNOW you are at a much better place and a better BF that she can ever find in the future.

Trust me, she had the best of you, in her books, you're considered "the one that got away" cause I was too dumb to realize what was good and i let you go... she's that type of girl.

[Noir]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

You are right.

But because he added that her reasoning also included, "and treating her too well" ....I surmised that she is a little "off".

That also could be a euphemism.

Sorry dino, I'm really not trying to give you a hard time.

[trancehead]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

You are right.

But because he added that her reasoning also included, "and treating her too well"....I surmised that she is a little "off".

i would surmise that she is really normal actually

being too nice, treating her too well, gives anybody the princess mentality
what does the princess do when she gets bored of her toys and they are of no challenge?

into the recycling bin (if shes nice) they go. away with it. and onto the next shiny and hopefully more challenging Hasbro product

[trancehead]

Originally Posted by 6793026

dude, there is NOTHING wrong for treating a good well and after 5 months when all the free meals, boring sex, doing the same movies, dine out, things settle down and gets boring. It's usually couples in this case that makes it or break it and in this case, this bitch got bored and didn't end up like those sappy Taiwanese love stories of happily ever after and she dumped you.


Trust me, she had the best of you, in her books, you're considered "the one that got away" cause I was too dumb to realize what was good and i let you go... she's that type of girl.

if the girl is in her prime [possibly 18-26] she doesnt want this beta male provisioning. its only when she has not hitched a fucking alpha male badass or maybe a super beta male that she will settle down for some beta male goodness.

well, she may consider him the good one who got away when she exits her prime

just be glad she ain't fucking someone already and the fact she ain't talking to you, that's great! Stand strong, stand proud and stand up for yourself because you KNOW you are at a much better place and a better BF that she can ever find in the future.

yes be happy for the circumstances. you are a free man and can fuck whomever you please now. next

[Noir]

Originally Posted by 6793026

Trust me, she had the best of you, in her books, you're considered "the one that got away" cause I was too dumb to realize what was good and i let you go... she's that type of girl.

What if she's not?

Just because a girl dumps a nice guy, or a guy that treats her well doesn't automatically make her a bitch or "that type of girl"


Why do the majority of RS think that being nice, or your typical romeo acts then obligates a girl to your bidding? It doesn't. That's nothing but a noob misconception.

[trancehead]

Originally Posted by Noir

What if she's not?

Just because a girl dumps a nice guy, or a guy that treats her well doesn't automatically make her a bitch or "that type of girl"


Why do the majority of RS think that being nice, or your typical romeo acts then obligates a girl to your bidding? It doesn't. That's nothing but a noob misconception.

(i know you are being rhetorical but) we can thank Walt Disney and hollywood for all this feminized brainwashing at an early age where men are taught to pamper and pedestalize anything with a creaking hole between their two support structures

now all of a sudden we embrace a culture where this is the norm. and to do so otherwise marks you as an outlier in most circles

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by Noir

That also could be a euphemism.

Sorry dino, I'm really not trying to give you a hard time.

No hard time given, dude! You bring up a valid point.

[6793026]

you do bring up a good point Noir, maybe I'm sexist but come to think of it, when do we ever complain about a girl treating a guy too nice?

Man, my gf lets me do anal, treats me real nice and washes my car, occasional 3some with her hot friend, cooks me dinner and BJs and pays rent at home but I don't know ... she is treating me too nice and I don't feel happy with her caues I lost the loving feel...

somehow that just doesn't sound right and RARELY does a guy say shit like that.

but SOMEHOW, it's very common for girls to say... he's just too nice of a guy, i don't know.... I just don't know.... i was hoping .... etc.. u get the point

again, maybe it's just me.

[Noir]

Originally Posted by 6793026

you do bring up a good point Noir, maybe I'm sexist but come to think of it, when do we ever complain about a girl treating a guy too nice?

Man, my gf lets me do anal, treats me real nice and washes my car, occasional 3some with her hot friend, cooks me dinner and BJs and pays rent at home but I don't know ... she is treating me too nice and I don't feel happy with her caues I lost the loving feel...

somehow that just doesn't sound right and RARELY does a guy say shit like that.

but SOMEHOW, it's very common for girls to say... he's just too nice of a guy, i don't know.... I just don't know.... i was hoping .... etc.. u get the point

again, maybe it's just me.

It's just you.


If a girl says "he's just too nice". More often than not, she's just to polite to say what's really wrong with you.


If a guy says "she broke up with me because I'm too nice", it's either you were needy/clingy as fuck or twisting the truth as to the real reason without making oneself looking like the bad guy.

[BallPeenHammer2]

^ Pretty much.

However, some women can't tell the difference between being "agreeable" and "doormat"

Just be glad she didn't CHEAT. Like my recent one did. With her ex.


It really depends on the people and the circumstance when it comes to being amicable.

I know now, that her and I will NEVER talk again. That friendship she wants out of this will NEVER happen.

But hey, it's not always like that.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

yeah yeah having it end in mutual agreement is all cool but you know what, you won't care as much in time. especially after you get other girlfriends.

things did end in good terms. lol. she's not attacking you, you guys are both the way you are before you met, strangers, doing your own thing. that's pretty much "good".

if you guys are friends, that's not good, that's great.

emphasis on the you wont care AS MUCH. your personality type, probably will never ever let go. whenever you think of her, you'll always wish you guys were on BETTER terms.

but that's just the way it is. you'll think of it less and less. and less. but i doubt it will ever go away.

you'll half forget when you meet a new girl.


this current girl (ex), will become nothing but a symbolic figure in your mind. if you become a playboy you'll know what i mean. as you meet more girls, you'll have less and less room in your heart and mind to remember each relationship so dearly and clearly. and the ones that end the same way, you'll just throw them in the same category as her. she'll become symbolic more than anything else. represent a kind of ending. instead of remembering girls, you'll remember her.

and if you're lucky (or unlucky) enough to go through enough relationships, one day, you'll catch yourself doing the same thing she did. and light bulb will go off in your head. and you'll make a realisation... of exactly why she choose to ignore you.

one can only truly understand something, if they do it themselves.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

hell you might even thank her later on in your life. cuz no real man is dumb enough to make the same mistake twice (ok three times).

you're obviously a doormat and very beta (not to attack you, every man has to go through this lesson, some learn real fast, some never learn). serving a woman like you do does not make them appreciate or like you more.

think of it this way. you will hesitate twice next time you want to do something nice for a girl for the sake of being nice and wanting to show affection.

this current ex is nothing but a step in a flight of stairs to the alpha mindset. after enough steps, you'll know what to do and what not to do. it's not hard. you don't need explanations and reasons.

now you have a peek through the crack of a doorway... on the other side is the mentality of the reasons/purpose behind the "asshole" alpha.


one way of looking at it is like this:
have you ever met a GUY that wants to be your friend so badly, or looks up to you, that everything you say or do, is praised? they're always looking out for you, and praising you and doing shit for you? trying to suck up? you can never say anything wrong, and when you do, they carefully work their way around with words so nothing is offensive and everything seems sugar coated and all nice and shit?

it gets annoying and you start looking down on the guy. it sounds mean but... in your mind you start treating him like the dog he is. it's like having a yes-man follow you around everywhere.

it's the exact same thing when you're with a girl. don't be a dog. or you'll get treated like one. no one likes yes-men.



affection is like sex. if you give too much, it becomes not so special, and becomes unappreciated.
you give enough so it's still special.

and you god damn make sure whenever you give it, it's appreciated, or you start cutting back on it.

it's not a game. that's just the way it is. if you hate it cuz you think it's a game, then you fail at the game of living life.

[Isaiah11]

^ too much wisdom

we are not worthy

OP: you wont give a damn after x amount of time

[trancehead]

a good analog at times is to treat a woman like a man. just minus the penis, add in a pair of tits and a snatch

if you have some real good buddies (that you alpha all the time, or at least are at a 50% level of pendelum swing in the man to man relationship) use that same mindset on the girl.
if youre not even at that level yet, and cannot feel in control of a situation full of just your boys, you need to go out more and develop yourself overall.
everyone is at a different stage. the hardest part if meta-awarenes. to see where you are NON EGOTISTICALLY in all aspects of your life

as Ulic alluded too, no one likes hanging out with a bunch of yes men

[nma]

Originally Posted by 6793026

dude, there is NOTHING wrong for treating a good well and after 5 months when all the free meals, boring sex, doing the same movies, dine out, things settle down and gets boring. It's usually couples in this case that makes it or break it and in this case, this bitch got bored and didn't end up like those sappy Taiwanese love stories of happily ever after and she dumped you.

just be glad she ain't fucking someone already and the fact she ain't talking to you, that's great! Stand strong, stand proud and stand up for yourself because you KNOW you are at a much better place and a better BF that she can ever find in the future.

Trust me, she had the best of you, in her books, you're considered "the one that got away" cause I was too dumb to realize what was good and i let you go... she's that type of girl.

Holy fuck im sold!! I'm convinced this guy is the best guy ever!!!

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

Originally Posted by trancehead

a good analog at times is to treat a woman like a man. just minus the penis, add in a pair of tits and a snatch

if you have some real good buddies (that you alpha all the time, or at least are at a 50% level of pendelum swing in the man to man relationship) use that same mindset on the girl.
if youre not even at that level yet, and cannot feel in control of a situation full of just your boys, you need to go out more and develop yourself overall.
everyone is at a different stage. the hardest part if meta-awarenes. to see where you are NON EGOTISTICALLY in all aspects of your life

as Ulic alluded too, no one likes hanging out with a bunch of yes men

yeah this is a good point i forgot to add.

don't treat women like women. don't treat men like men.
just treat all people like people. they're all the same.

be the same... all the time. you shouldn't treat a woman any differently than you treat a man. unless you're going out with a retarded bimbo, but that's not gonna last long anyway.

you have no reason to treat anyone different than you treat your buddies, unless they're mentally retarded or disabled in some way.

Treat everyone the same, all the time. ESPECIALLY beautiful girls.

[Gridlock]

We're not 10 posts in before we need to work on him finding his "alpha" mindset so he can start clubbing bitches over the head, have his way and in the morning set them outside the cave and send them on their way.

You paint him as a door mat, which yes, we all thought the same thing when his self admitted reason for being dumped was "being too nice" but not everyone or every guy has as his #1 goal of seeking and obtaining "strange" 7 nights a week and 2 on friday.

Some guys want a normal girlfriend, ina normal relationship. Let's please keep that in mind.

Waiting for someone to ask if he even lifts.
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