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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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10-06-2014, 12:53 PM
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#1 | | :inoutugh:
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| Is this "normal" behaviour in your opinion?
Posted on behalf of a friend.
I wanted to get your input on this situation about what you would do and/or what would make you stop, if this is "normal" behaviour in your opinion.
START
I broke up with an ex over a year ago. It was on not on good terms, as there were already a number of issues during the relationship. I had no intention of ever speaking to him again, because he simply made me miserable.
It dragged out for much longer than it should've and a number of people I knew, that knew about him, said I should've called it quits long ago based on the things he did.
He was a compulsive liar, and would make up stories about having ex-girlfriends that made him feel insecure, and have me feel bad for him and eventually even pity him. He would have yelling fits, when he didn't get what he wanted. He was quite selfish and irrational, but I just shrugged it off.
He would constantly complain about all my friends, and say how they were all intentionally out to get him, and how much of a threat they were. He would get upset every time I was out with my friends, and he would expect me to tag along with him while he does his own thing or goes out with his friends.
After it ended, he would constantly contact me, asking to hang out and be friends, and commented on anything I posted on social media. I already deleted him off everything, but he would use his friend's accounts to creep on my stuff. He would ask me to help him learn to talk to girls, to talk about cars, hobbies, and what-have-you.
I had already given him back all his stuff, for some reason he wanted to keep my things and even held it hostage, saying I would have to hang out with him to get them back.
Anyways, fast forward to today, he would always text me consistently every time he sees my car somewhere and asks me what I'm doing there, who I'm with, etc. even though I've been ignoring him all this time. I already told him I have no intentions of being friends with him, as we were not friends prior to dating.
It is becoming stalker-ish as he would ask if I'm at home or not if he doesn't see my car, or if I'm working at a place, or out somewhere. Apparently he says his friends see me around and report to him where they see me, which is pretty messed up.
END
Why would anyone carry on with this behaviour?
If you were friends with this guy, why would you encourage it or help him?
What would make you stop?
As always, everyone's opinion would be much appreciated.
__________________
Posted from NE 1-J W Inglis Building
Last edited by TOS'd; 10-07-2014 at 11:46 PM.
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10-06-2014, 01:00 PM
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#2 | | .
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LOL what a fucking beta
Sounds like you need a restraining order
srs
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10-06-2014, 01:03 PM
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#3 | | Need my Daily Fix of RS
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Sounds like buddy needs to move the fuck on..
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10-06-2014, 01:05 PM
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#4 | | Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
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lol strong white knight detected. you chose a winner. srs
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10-06-2014, 01:18 PM
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#5 | | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
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I would have a lawyer draft up a letter threatening a pursuit of legal action (ie restraining order) if his contact persists
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10-06-2014, 02:03 PM
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#6 | | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
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meowmeow is that you?
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10-06-2014, 02:03 PM
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#7 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
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Buddy sounds like he's heading into restraining order territory, you should notify him of this and tell him that if he doesn't back off legal action will be taken.
__________________ 1991 Toyota Celica GTFour RC // 2007 Toyota Rav4 V6 // 2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee
1992 Toyota Celica GT-S ["sold"] \\ 2007 Jeep Grand Cherokee CRD [sold] \\ 2000 Jeep Cherokee [sold] \\ 1997 Honda Prelude [sold] \\ 1992 Jeep YJ [sold/crashed] \\ 1987 Mazda RX-7 [sold] \\ 1987 Toyota Celica GT-S [crushed] Quote:
Originally Posted by maksimizer  half those dudes are hotter than ,my GF. | Quote:
Originally Posted by RevYouUp reading this thread is like waiting for goku to charge up a spirit bomb in dragon ball z | Quote:
Originally Posted by Good_KarMa OH thank god. I thought u had sex with my wife. :cry: | | |
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10-06-2014, 02:07 PM
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#8 | | reads most threads with his pants around his ankles, especially in the Forced Induction forum.
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go to the police and file a report. They will have a nice chat with him and he won't bug you again. The only way he will stop is if the police is invole.
He should learn to respect you. When I broke up with my ex it was on good terms and we still hang out and chat. Actually we talk about our current gf/bfs it weird but it works lol. I guess you can say we have a really close relationship but feelings aren't there.
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10-06-2014, 02:12 PM
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#9 | | The Brown Reason
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Whalley
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Why would anyone carry on with this behaviour?
He can't believe that you don't reciprocate his feelings, since he still feels the way he does. Words will not make him stop, so stop trying to reason with stupid. Get a new boyfriend, move on with your life. Your ex sounds like the type of guy to be immediately intimidated by any other guy ... so future BFs/relationships could alleviate the problem, though you shouldn't feel rushed into anything as rebound-relationships are typically shortlived anyhow
If you were friends with this guy, why would you encourage it or help him?
What would make you stop?
He needs to get laid. I am unsure of your age or anything else, but assuming you guys are young it's very possibly that you are the first girl to pay him any kind of attention / possibly the girl he lost his virginity to. If the latter is the case, good fucking luck. He will haunt you until he finds another girl to obsess over
As always, everyone's opinion would be much appreciated
If you really want to make a clean break from him, you might have to burn some bridges with some people you may otherwise like. The cliche phrase comes to mind: "The people in your life are like seasons, everything changes for a reason"
-- maybe you're growing up (again, don't know your age so take it w/ a grain of salt) and you're starting to realize the ramifications of adult problems, you can no longer be a social butterfly with a bajillion friends on your friendslist. Your time is precious, and the older you get the more you realize what a fleeting commodity it really is -- protect it. Do not allow people to have easy access to you, focus on yourself, make yourself better. If you must, delete everyone you don't talk to on a semi-regular basis off friendslists, change your cell phone number, burn bridges, etc.
#BCRDUKESFORPRESIDENT2016
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by bcrdukes fuck this shit, i'm out | | |
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10-06-2014, 02:17 PM
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#10 | | RS Veteran
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STFU TOS'd
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Badhobz You show me a 1998 240sx in prestine condition and ill fucking suck your dick. no homo! | | 
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10-06-2014, 02:27 PM
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#11 | | The Brown Reason
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Whalley
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Originally Posted by bcrdukes STFU TOS'd | That's the kind of abrasive language that wears down bullying victims until they commit suicide. That's not cool, man. It is clear that our friend TOS'd is going through some sexual/psychological uncertainty and it is up to us as his revscene family to help him -- not to berate him you fixy riding, steeped loose tea drinking butt trumpeter.
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by bcrdukes fuck this shit, i'm out |
Last edited by BrRsn; 10-06-2014 at 02:39 PM.
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10-06-2014, 02:40 PM
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#12 | | RS Veteran
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Worst thread ever.
Just go jump off the Lions Gate Bridge during rush hour.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Badhobz You show me a 1998 240sx in prestine condition and ill fucking suck your dick. no homo! | | |
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10-06-2014, 02:41 PM
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#13 | | The Brown Reason
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Whalley
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Originally Posted by bcrdukes Worst thread ever.
Just go jump off the Lions Gate Bridge during rush hour. | And inconvenience every motorist who could care less about the insignificance of some unknown soul's life?
You're a real asshole, there's a special place in hipster hell for you
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by bcrdukes fuck this shit, i'm out | | |
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10-06-2014, 03:03 PM
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#14 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
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What the hell? That is not normal behaviour at all...
__________________
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10-06-2014, 03:52 PM
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#15 | | Official Texas Ambassador
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by TOS'd The following is a post by an anonymous Revscene member. If the original poster would like to reply to this thread, please PM me. Serious replies only.
Words | 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by MG1 She taught me right from wrong and always told me to stay positive and help others no matter how small the deed - that helping others gives us meaning to carry on. The sun is out today and it's a new day. Life is good. I just needed a slap in the face. | | |
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10-06-2014, 04:57 PM
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#16 | | I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
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^ 
__________________ If it ain't a Type R it ain't a tyte car '18 Mk7.5 Golf (5MT)
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༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | |
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10-06-2014, 05:35 PM
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#17 | | I bringith the lowerballerith
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Originally Posted by Klondike ^ | Lol, he's too beat up for not posting the confidential thread 
__________________
Girl, I jus' wanna watch some Bob Ross witchu | |
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10-06-2014, 06:16 PM
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#18 | | Survivor MOD
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by jeedee LOL what a fucking beta
Sounds like you need a restraining order
srs | In Canada it's called a "peace bond" (ccc. 810) Quote:
Originally Posted by 320icar I would have a lawyer draft up a letter threatening a pursuit of legal action (ie restraining order) if his contact persists | Quote:
Originally Posted by underscore Buddy sounds like he's heading into restraining order territory, you should notify him of this and tell him that if he doesn't back off legal action will be taken. | 
you can't just walk into a lawyers office and ask that a restraining order be placed on an individual.
the proper process is as follows:
1) you need to contact the police
2) the police will do an investigation
3) the police will forward an RTCC to Crown Counsel; in certain cases when there is a more serious nature they may bring the peace bond request directly to Crown to review immediately.
4) Crown Counsel will review said RTCC (if it wasnt brought over immediately).
5) they decide if the facts meet the standard for an s.810 peace bond to be laid
6) an information is sworn with the victim/complainant as well as the accused/defendant listed.
7) the peace bond becomes binding.
OP should start at step 1 of the process and see where it goes from there. given that TOS'd started this thread, the potential for it to be trolling is high. however, IF it really is someone requiring a peace bond against another individual they should contact the police right away.
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10-06-2014, 09:03 PM
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#19 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
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Stop being a little bitch about it seriously. Yes hearts were broken and tears were shed but you just have a to move on about it. This world has too much to offer and explore for you to keep doing this. If you think this is some sort of teasing tactic you should also stop being it's clearly not working and you're not getting the upper hand at all, in fact the lower hand. Work on yourself and do things better instead of thinking of these useless feelings because thinking of the past and staying there has no real outcome anyways so why are you even bothering. She's not gonna come back if you pester her, text her, beg her then why bother anymore with this.
I would waste all that energy and thought into making myself a better person instead and also finding a better person. My 2 cents.
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10-06-2014, 09:48 PM
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#20 | | PRINCESS
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by zilley meowmeow is that you? | According to rs, time to get a restraining order against you
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10-06-2014, 10:21 PM
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#21 | | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
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oh no, how do I creep you now.
on srs note, where the fuck u been.
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10-06-2014, 10:23 PM
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#22 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Okanagan
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by T4RAWR you can't just walk into a lawyers office and ask that a restraining order be placed on an individual.
the proper process is as follows:
<snip> | Yes I know, I'm not sure why you think I'm saying that. To reword my previous post, it sounds like the creepy ex is heading into peace bond territory, OP should notify him of this and tell him that if he doesn't back off OP'll start the process to take legal action.
__________________ 1991 Toyota Celica GTFour RC // 2007 Toyota Rav4 V6 // 2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee
1992 Toyota Celica GT-S ["sold"] \\ 2007 Jeep Grand Cherokee CRD [sold] \\ 2000 Jeep Cherokee [sold] \\ 1997 Honda Prelude [sold] \\ 1992 Jeep YJ [sold/crashed] \\ 1987 Mazda RX-7 [sold] \\ 1987 Toyota Celica GT-S [crushed] Quote:
Originally Posted by maksimizer half those dudes are hotter than ,my GF. | Quote:
Originally Posted by RevYouUp reading this thread is like waiting for goku to charge up a spirit bomb in dragon ball z | Quote:
Originally Posted by Good_KarMa OH thank god. I thought u had sex with my wife. :cry: | | |
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10-06-2014, 10:27 PM
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#23 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: SRY
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tha fuck just happen in here?
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10-06-2014, 10:42 PM
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#24 | | :inoutugh:
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: ඞ
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| Posted on behalf of a friend. Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp go to the police and file a report. They will have a nice chat with him and he won't bug you again. The only way he will stop is if the police is invole.
He should learn to respect you. When I broke up with my ex it was on good terms and we still hang out and chat. Actually we talk about our current gf/bfs it weird but it works lol. I guess you can say we have a really close relationship but feelings aren't there. | You're fortunate to not have to deal with my kind of ex. Seems like you were probably friends before dating as well, or had mutual friends which helps. Whereas my case was not. Quote:
Originally Posted by dhillon09 Why would anyone carry on with this behaviour?
He can't believe that you don't reciprocate his feelings, since he still feels the way he does. Words will not make him stop, so stop trying to reason with stupid. Get a new boyfriend, move on with your life. Your ex sounds like the type of guy to be immediately intimidated by any other guy ... so future BFs/relationships could alleviate the problem, though you shouldn't feel rushed into anything as rebound-relationships are typically shortlived anyhow
If you were friends with this guy, why would you encourage it or help him?
What would make you stop?
He needs to get laid. I am unsure of your age or anything else, but assuming you guys are young it's very possibly that you are the first girl to pay him any kind of attention / possibly the girl he lost his virginity to. If the latter is the case, good fucking luck. He will haunt you until he finds another girl to obsess over
As always, everyone's opinion would be much appreciated
If you really want to make a clean break from him, you might have to burn some bridges with some people you may otherwise like. The cliche phrase comes to mind: "The people in your life are like seasons, everything changes for a reason"
-- maybe you're growing up (again, don't know your age so take it w/ a grain of salt) and you're starting to realize the ramifications of adult problems, you can no longer be a social butterfly with a bajillion friends on your friendslist. Your time is precious, and the older you get the more you realize what a fleeting commodity it really is -- protect it. Do not allow people to have easy access to you, focus on yourself, make yourself better. If you must, delete everyone you don't talk to on a semi-regular basis off friendslists, change your cell phone number, burn bridges, etc.
#BCRDUKESFORPRESIDENT2016 | Both mid 20s. Reread some screenshots of his messages and they will make anyone cringe so hard. I've moved on already, but he doesn't seem like he wants to. He is pretty much having a conversation by himself and unfortunately you cannot block every single message on the many messaging apps/programs out there. Quote:
Originally Posted by T4RAWR In Canada it's called a "peace bond" (ccc. 810)
you can't just walk into a lawyers office and ask that a restraining order be placed on an individual.
the proper process is as follows:
1) you need to contact the police
2) the police will do an investigation
3) the police will forward an RTCC to Crown Counsel; in certain cases when there is a more serious nature they may bring the peace bond request directly to Crown to review immediately.
4) Crown Counsel will review said RTCC (if it wasnt brought over immediately).
5) they decide if the facts meet the standard for an s.810 peace bond to be laid
6) an information is sworn with the victim/complainant as well as the accused/defendant listed.
7) the peace bond becomes binding.
OP should start at step 1 of the process and see where it goes from there. given that TOS'd started this thread, the potential for it to be trolling is high. however, IF it really is someone requiring a peace bond against another individual they should contact the police right away. | This isn't a troll thread. But thank you for the steps, I will look into it. It seems like this is a very small deal and I'm not sure a peace bond will work in the end.
__________________
Posted from NE 1-J W Inglis Building
Last edited by TOS'd; 10-07-2014 at 11:46 PM.
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10-06-2014, 10:59 PM
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#25 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Richmond
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A BIG thing is closure.
You said you gave him back all his things, etc., etc.
And yes, you said:
"already told him I have no intentions of being friends with him".
I'm unsure if they were text messages, or softly saying to him, or what...
----------->
Be more forceful.
Plant your feet and tell him exactly how you feel, his being "stalkerish" and weird, etc.
Tell him to GTFO and move on.
Tell him to stop being a whinny bitch and man up, and just move on.
Don't just suggest.
Forcefully enunciate it to him.
If needed, tell him to get a life and everybody should just move on.
---------------------------
If this doesn't work, maybe a little covert operations?
If you have a good guy friend, ask him to pretend to be your new boyfriend.
Your ex will definitely see what is happening (from his stalker-ish actions) and then your ex MAY just give up.
Just my two cents.
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