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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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12-23-2008, 09:28 PM
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#76 | | I don't get it
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver
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Nick, well done for the time being.
And you're not a nice guy, you were being weak willed and yes you should have left it as that prior to ur exchange of laughter. However, its still decent that you kept the conversation at its minimum. Yea tell her whats up in your life and ur plans and whatnot but don't get reeled in with her bail-easy invites. The less attention you give her, the more she will egg you on so, try to manage your way around her attention-wanting ways. Like what Noir mentioned, she's putting miniscule effort to string you along. You do the same and she appears to be more interested, and of course that's all no good.
Might as well keep ur convos light and that's that. Keep trying~!
Btw, her first line was that demanding question? Not even a Hello? Wow.
Last edited by butter_sashimi; 12-23-2008 at 09:29 PM.
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12-23-2008, 09:33 PM
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#77 | | All Day, Err Day Mod
Join Date: May 2006 Location: Vancouver
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Clarify: There was a "Hi", which then was followed by "Why didn't you reply to my message?"
She was pretty demanding because everytime she would text me, I would usually reply within 2 minutes if I had my phone on me or if i'm not working.
__________________ Feedback of 40-0-0 -kT: "No man get a ruler and look, 12cm is long!"
Last edited by Nintensity; 12-23-2008 at 09:34 PM.
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12-23-2008, 09:40 PM
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#78 | | I don't get it
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 402
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Demanding.... Overall impression isn't so hot... even if she did respond to ur feelings, I get the hunch she's not a totally great girl inside. Try to fight that urge to answer her txts in detail. That tiny hope isn't too worth it when she's playing around/stringing u.
Good luck to you, Nin... and merry xmasssss
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12-23-2008, 09:46 PM
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#79 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: vancouver
Posts: 5,688
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Fuck, being in your position would drive me nuts. How can you continue to hang out with her, when you're feelings just keep on getting stronger and stronger. She asked you what you were doing yesterday because she wanted to see if you were heartbroken that she didn't reply to your text. And also since this is ur first time not replying shes probably afraid that you finally realized shes a no good whore. Forget about her.
and get caller I.D., its only $7 bucks. Just save yourself from eating one mcdonalds meal each month.  | |
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12-23-2008, 11:04 PM
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#80 | | Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: here & there
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Wow, you know what, I think she's just intentionally leading you on because she enjoys the attention, and the feeling she gets from having you endlessly chase after her. She gives you these little rays of hope, just enough to keep you going, and leaves you out in the rain.
Don't worry about agreeing to meet up after Christmas. That's easy to fix. Just do nothing. Don't call her to set up the date or anything, let her be the one to worry about it, and call you and set anything up. You just keep concentrating on moving on aka meeting new companions. Remember, you owe her NOTHING.
Funny thing is, the more you continue to withdraw from her, the more she will continue to pick up the slack and start texting you, calling you, talking about meeting up and this and that
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Last edited by CanadaGoose; 12-23-2008 at 11:09 PM.
Reason: typos from hell
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12-24-2008, 12:22 AM
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#81 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: May 2001 Location: 604
Posts: 16,870
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^^^werd bro
just go out and do your thing
if she wants to meet up, let her plan it
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12-24-2008, 12:29 AM
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#82 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Japan
Posts: 6,745
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Originally Posted by Nintensity  She persists that we do something after xmas considering that she bailed out on me yesterday. | It's all just a game.
Put an invitation out there for her if she wants to do something, but don't really invest much of yourself on it. Just put it out there for her to react to and if she doesn't, well, fuck it.
The way you should play this is by concentrating on matching her level of investment. If she doesn't invest much, neither do you. She invests more, then you give a little more. That way, she's playing your game instead of you playing hers. If she wants to get attention to validate herself, then she'd have to give some and play your game.
Just remember, you win some and you lose some, and it's okay to lose. Just depends on how you lose. Some people can lose but retain their dignity, whereas some people win but have totally lost all semblance of dignity. Have some pride man. Don't leave it to her determine your value. That privilege should be yours alone 
Last edited by Noir; 12-24-2008 at 12:35 AM.
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12-24-2008, 01:12 AM
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#83 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Cayman Islands
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haha I think you can get this girl!
she needs your attention. You give her some.. then you cut it off. Make her beg! Be in control. 
As for the after xmas thing... let her do all the calling and planning. Then the day before it, tell her you can't do it. lol
__________________ LClock 1.62b pinkbaby(aka pinkbuggy): (_\._) :p
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12-24-2008, 01:28 AM
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#84 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vancouver
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as everyone else is stating. let her plan the get-together. but as a safety, plan your own thing but make that number one and not let her know. i'd say give her a little taste of what she's giving you. someone needs to bring her down a notch. you need to man up.
Last edited by xtension; 12-24-2008 at 01:29 AM.
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12-24-2008, 01:49 AM
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#85 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Vancouver
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Originally Posted by xtension 24 second shot clock violation. | 8 seconds to get across the half court line!!  | |
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12-24-2008, 07:01 AM
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#86 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Richmond
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Originally Posted by Nintensity Clarify: There was a "Hi", which then was followed by "Why didn't you reply to my message?"
She was pretty demanding because everytime she would text me, I would usually reply within 2 minutes if I had my phone on me or if i'm not working. | Double standard you see, does she do that for you? You already know the answer....
__________________ Quote: Originally posted by Girl
^ Yes it's sad when you stare at the shape of my penis through my overly skin tight jeans and not help but feel like a shameful little boy compared to me. | | |
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12-25-2008, 01:02 AM
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#87 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: richmond Lah!
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Originally Posted by fuhkyu 8 seconds to get across the half court line!! | 5 seconds to inbound the ball. Quote:
Originally Posted by Nintensity Update!
Meh, I didn't respond, which was probably what you guys would've done in the first place. However, I received this call earlier on this evening. (Mind you, I don't have callerID). It was her.
Her first line was "Why didn't you reply to my message?"
I then proceeded to tell her that I was busy and that I would call her later when I have the time to do so. Unfortunately, she proceeded by leading the conversation to another topic.
"What did you do yesterday?" which reflected the message that she sent me earlier on today.
From there this is where I would disappoint you guys. I went back to my regular self and told her that I decided to go up skiing to grouse as I didn't want to miss out on such a beautiful sunny day yesterday. Laughs exchange.
But truthfully, I stayed home and worked on projects on my computer and did some cleaning around the house as I waited for her call/text all day yesterday.
She persists that we do something after xmas considering that she bailed out on me yesterday.
Knowing that you guys would have shaken your heads in shame, I should have said no in the first place and should have left her hanging and wondering about me..but being the nice guy I am, I said yes. | Back on topic. You are saying Yes for the time being, but you can always bail out when the time comes, last minute of course.
See how she will react, and how she feels. =) its worth a shot.
Last edited by LC21; 12-25-2008 at 01:07 AM.
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12-25-2008, 02:04 AM
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#88 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: May 2006 Location: GVRD
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You have frds right?
Go do sth with them... I don't think about a girl when I'm having a good time lol
Last edited by cheung20; 12-25-2008 at 02:11 AM.
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12-25-2008, 03:20 AM
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#89 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Vancouver
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I was in your exact situation a while ago. I stopped talking to her and eventually found a girlfriend I am commited to. She then came back, calls me everyday and always sets up dates to hang out.
As some of the comments above noted, once you take your attention away, she will come seeking for it soon after.
I have to admit, it was very hard to move on but I did get over it and now I'm in total control.
There's more to my story but you haven't gotten there yet so I will stop here and not steal your thread!
Good luck!
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01-14-2009, 02:34 AM
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#90 | | All Day, Err Day Mod
Join Date: May 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,999
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First and foremost, I want to thank all of you RSers for your support to help me out with this relationship issue. Your insights, recommendations, advice, and concern help me deal with this situation and carry out action.
Second, here comes the bad news: I failed to lose communication with her. I can't let her go that easily. Basically, i've been sticking to what i've been doing since ground zero.
However, I now realize that the more I distant myself from her (from wtfomgbbq school), she begins she calls me up, she messages me from time to time, but not often, which is still okay, because we're still in school and I know we have our commitments. We do things together from time to time, 1, 2wice a week is sufficient for me to chill at home, dinner, whatever cool thing is going on. I see us moving forward.
But i'm beginning to feel that she's starting to catch on. I just have to wait for the right moment, you know? I want to tell her how I feel about her. I want her to be comfortable and not be all "err..awkward".
I'll keep you guys updated this week.
-n
__________________ Feedback of 40-0-0 -kT: "No man get a ruler and look, 12cm is long!"
Last edited by Nintensity; 01-14-2009 at 09:52 AM.
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01-14-2009, 08:42 AM
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#91 | | What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
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Well good for you that she is starting to catch on and definitely keep us updated!
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01-14-2009, 06:24 PM
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#92 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: richmond Lah!
Posts: 5,459
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Props for being persistent, not many have the same kind of patience you do. =)
PS. is it that girl on your fb DP? =P
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01-15-2009, 12:58 PM
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#93 | | I subscribe to the Fight Club ONLY
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: BC, HK, USA
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well good for you that she's trying to catch on but seriously, that's just self pampering.
You THINK that she's giving you the attention in which you are feelling pretty good.
it'll be short lived.
phaser her out a bit, ignore her and do the entire cycle again.
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01-15-2009, 02:42 PM
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#94 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Burnaby
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nin-man if I recall you're a couple years younger than me and I suppose this girl can't be that much older than you. I didn't really read all the post all the way but caught some stuff here and there.
honestly a girl like herself is probably not taking relationship very seriously, actually majority of people at this generation don't because society has grown us to accept and enjoy change as a luxury. People like varieties in everything, different cellphones, different clothes, meeting different friends, and different relationships all the time. if you want to settle down now (not sure if you do or not) don't pursue her anymore.
as for the text thing I gotta agree with endless if I get a text when I'm in bed even napping I won't reply or pick up the phone but most people would if they had interest or was expecting a text from someone - its a sign..
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01-16-2009, 03:21 PM
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#95 | | All Day, Err Day Mod
Join Date: May 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,999
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| @Orion: She's not older than I am, she's younger than me by a year.
With what you said, I'd probably agree 110% on what you just said right now. She likes variety, she loves the compassion of having friends, whether or not if it's a guy or a girl, without the necessities and dealing with the problems of a boyfriend. She tells me her stories, her opinions, her feelings, and I tell her mine. For about a 2 weeks, I think she sees me more like an older brother, (she only has 2 sisters, no brothers), and nothing more.
But yeah, don't worry. maybe she didn't have her phone on her when she woke up that morning, just like how sometimes I leave my phone in the kitchen for a couple hours until she messages me online telling me why I haven't messaged her back. They're all mistakes, and we all go through that. I think.
UPDATE: I finally did it, I just wanted to get it out of my chest. I phoned her after writing a song and playing it for her, and told her I loved her. Her response was merely a soft "awww", but i'm sure that's what most, if not all girls, respond to when someone tells them that they love them.
I reminded her of all things we have for each other, and that I see our relationship progressing. I can't remember what she said because most of that time on the phone, I basically opened up to her and told her how I feel.
I then proceeded to ask her to think about it, and see if it can work.. and to call me the next day (which is today) or see me and tell me what she felt in return. I don't think she was expecting this to happen, as that "awww' might have been just a state of shock for her... Don't know, I guess i'm gonna have to wait until tonight. If I don't hear from her... then yea, its definitely obvious that she's not into the relationship.
But otherwise, I finally got it off my chest. I'm soo happy now ^_^
__________________ Feedback of 40-0-0 -kT: "No man get a ruler and look, 12cm is long!"
Last edited by Nintensity; 01-16-2009 at 03:22 PM.
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01-16-2009, 03:27 PM
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#96 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: May 2001 Location: 604
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iono bro, but isn't the usual response from an "i love you" is i love you too?
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01-16-2009, 03:35 PM
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#97 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Richmond
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omfg, you've probably scared the shit outta her because love is way too strong of a word to call whatever this is man
__________________ Quote: Originally posted by Girl
^ Yes it's sad when you stare at the shape of my penis through my overly skin tight jeans and not help but feel like a shameful little boy compared to me. | | |
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01-16-2009, 03:48 PM
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#98 | | All Day, Err Day Mod
Join Date: May 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,999
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uh oh... I hope I did the right thing here.
__________________ Feedback of 40-0-0 -kT: "No man get a ruler and look, 12cm is long!"
Last edited by Nintensity; 01-16-2009 at 03:49 PM.
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01-16-2009, 04:13 PM
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#99 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Vancouver
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Originally Posted by Grandmaster TSE iono bro, but isn't the usual response from an "i love you" is i love you too? | LOL +1
I think if i were in your position I wouldnt have dropped the L bomb. Normally when i find myself wanting to say sappy romantic things like that i stick with: I think I'm falling for you or I'm starting to develop feelings for you. Something along those lines. If I'm gona say i love you i usually wait until we're 'officially' together. But then again your case seems a little more complicated.
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01-16-2009, 04:20 PM
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#100 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Japan
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Originally Posted by Moratorium I think if i were in your position I wouldnt have dropped the L bomb. | Drop the L bomb and she knows she's got you. Whether you receive a "yes" or "no", she understands that she now wears the pants out of the 2 of you and your her boybitch.
When a girl says that to me, I'm thinking "Checkmate!"  | |
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