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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 01-16-2009, 05:27 PM   #101
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@Noir: Consider the position that I was in. Was I in the right to say that to her? Or do you think Moratorium's 'choice of words' by saying to her that 'I think i'm falling for you' or some shit would have worked better?
I don't think she would have gone 'checkmate!' like you hahaha

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Old 01-16-2009, 05:41 PM   #102
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Hmm... Honestly I think it's a little too soon to say 'I love you', but my way of thinking is similar to Moratorium where you should officially be together first and see where it goes form there.
I wouldn't call it love that early in the start, but who knows. o_O
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Old 01-16-2009, 05:50 PM   #103
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Well, I did miss out on some of our 'date details'... which is kinda making you guys think that it was too early haha
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Old 01-16-2009, 06:22 PM   #104
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You are in her friend's zone. She is using you as a person she spend time with when she is bored and hope you pay for you. Nothing more. Good luck getting out the friend zone..
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Old 01-16-2009, 06:25 PM   #105
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nintensity View Post
@Noir: Consider the position that I was in. Was I in the right to say that to her? Or do you think Moratorium's 'choice of words' by saying to her that 'I think i'm falling for you' or some shit would have worked better?
I don't think she would have gone 'checkmate!' like you hahaha
Haha, I was just playin with you bro. For all intents & purposes, I do hope that doesn't happen to you.

I honestly would've leaned towards Moratorium's choice of words. You get the same point across, you're heading the same direction, it's just less bluntly.

But that's neither her nor there anymore, it's already out there and you have to go with it. Don't backpeddle or else you'd put yourself in much worse position.

Hopefully she responds in kind
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Old 01-16-2009, 08:03 PM   #106
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You're young, smitten, and will one day look back on this and realize it as the learning experience it was.
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Old 01-17-2009, 01:12 AM   #107
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patiently waiting for an update..i hope it she replied you..
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Old 01-17-2009, 10:39 AM   #108
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You responded to this all in the worst possible way. But, most guys have reacted in a totally foolish/irrational way when their feelings have gotten involved.

The girl has no feelings for you and likely never will. The problem isn't with you personally, but with how you played your cards from the start. You slowly made yourself appear desperate (again, we've all fallen into this trap) and theres no bigger turn off for a person, especially a girl, than this. Telling her that you loved her couldn't have added to this aura of desperation any more.

The problem is most of us are blinded by TV sitcom love, where for 3 seasons the guy never manages to get the girl, but once the girl sees how bad other men are and how good he is, and once he expresses his true love, she welcomes him with open arms. Real love doesn't have the same patience TV love has.

As someone mentioned, you'll look back on this as a learning experience and eventually you'll find someone even better.
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Old 01-17-2009, 02:39 PM   #109
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waiting for update!

But honestly I would have moved on. You'll thank us all for making the decision.
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Old 01-19-2009, 01:28 PM   #110
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I apologize for the lack up update in the last few days.
Basically after I called her that Friday night, I told her that I'd give her time to think about it. Friday night passed. Saturday passed. Sunday passed. I was on the verge to give up on her as she might have done the same. Me calling her and ask her what she felt again means that i'm giving her the impression that i'm on her mind when she doesn't want me to, so I didn't call her.

Just when all hope was lost...she calls me.

She told me that she wanted to talk. Talk about what? I didn't want to go into the Love discussion because I didn't want to make things awkward, so I decided to venture off into a different discussion about what she did on sunday, saturday night... and vice versa. Then I hear "Can we talk about something else?"

Me: "Sure, I guess".
Her: "Well, I thought about it. It took me a couple days, and i've finally made my decision. The thing is, you remind me more like a brother i've never had. It's not that you're my type, It's just that i'm not ready to go into a relationship like this when I have school, afterschool stuff, blah blah blah."

My guess with what she just said was that she enjoys to have the company of people, girls or guys, without having to deal with the meat of potatoes of being involved in a serious relationship. (You guys have been saying this the entire time. And you're right.)

She told me that she enjoys my company, my support, our talks, and the things we do together, but more on a friend level.

I couldn't help to myself and agree with her. Why argue? If I pursue further, it's going to make me sound me even more desperate for her. Go with the flow.

But hey, at least I got feedback on what she felt about me. We'll still do the things we do together. Seeing that this is a life-lesson learned, i'll definitely look back at all the mistakes i've made with her and keep this in mind on the next companion i'll meet in the future.

-n
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Old 01-19-2009, 02:32 PM   #111
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^^^ Well, at least you still made the right move. It's disappointing but it at least it stopped you from being strung along for time on end. And hey, at least you're still within arms reach of her.

Possibilities might open up later on down the road. At least right now you're not holding your breath for an indeterminate amount of time anymore.
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Old 01-19-2009, 04:23 PM   #112
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Always a better girl, you'll find out soon enough. Best way of getting over her is thinking about what's next
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Old 01-19-2009, 10:23 PM   #113
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SO many girls in this world that you haven't met yet
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Old 01-21-2009, 07:15 AM   #114
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Sucks dude, i feel for you, I think we've all been there. It's probably the hardest to keep playing it cool with a person you feel such a strong connection to, but you still did a pretty good job. But oh well, at least you got it off your chest, and time goes on. Like alatar said you'll learn from this experience and find better girls.
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Old 01-21-2009, 09:16 AM   #115
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The current situation sucks, but at least you know you went into it giving it your all, and you at least tried and made your thoughts known to her. You won't have to worry about "what if" and now you can move on.

In time, I think she'll realize that a signifigant other isn't too far off from what you guys have now (a good solid friendship, someone to confide in, someone you can rely on and be really great friends with). Maybe then, she'll come running back to you, but I wouldn't necessarily hold out just for that hope.

Move on and find someone else, but maintain the communication and friendship - you can never have too many friends and who knows - she may hook you up with one of her buddies since she can vouch for you as being a good guy.
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