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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 12-22-2008, 03:11 PM   #51
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he is not playing mind games. The girl DOES NOT want you to hug her, does NOT want you to push her aggressiveness towards her, does not want you to sit on the same couch. WOW, how much more does a girl have to tell you that GTFO, you are just my friend.....
Only the first sentence was relevant to Nin's situation. The rest was just me being genuinely baffled by my own gender at their lack of ability to communicate maturely.

Good for you Nin! You'll get over her, don't worry =] Your friends will help you along the way I'm sure of it! If she isn't willing to put 100% of herself into a friendship, why remain friends?

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IF I FIND YOU
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Old 12-22-2008, 04:10 PM   #52
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we're not going to go out tonight. I text messaged her at around 5am this morning before work and asked if she's still down for our thing this evening. No reply. I've just given up on her. Not going to talk to her and if she asks if she wants to hang.. i'll just bitch up and say that i'm too busy nowadays.

aghh its painful but its the only chance for me to move on i guess.
a 5am text message? i wouldnt reply that either. she probably saw it, read it, woke up later and tottaly forgot about it. didnt see the new text icon and probably wont even know you texted her until days later.

that or she's a bitch.
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Old 12-22-2008, 04:36 PM   #53
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a 5am text message? i wouldnt reply that either. she probably saw it, read it, woke up later and tottaly forgot about it. didnt see the new text icon and probably wont even know you texted her until days later.

that or she's a bitch.
True enough. But if a girl really digs you, she'd respond as soon as she wakes up. Even a semi-interested girl will warrant a quick 10 sec short text msg just for the sake of acknowledgement.

She's doing this because she knows she can get away with it. Only recently when Nintensity cut her off has her behavior wielded any consequence.
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Old 12-22-2008, 04:49 PM   #54
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True enough. But if a girl really digs you, she'd respond as soon as she wakes up. Even a semi-interested girl will warrant a quick 10 sec short text msg just for the sake of acknowledgement.

She's doing this because she knows she can get away with it. Only recently when Nintensity cut her off has her behavior wielded any consequence.
i agree. but she might be pissed off at someone for getting woken up. its kinda disrespectful, and when she's half asleep she might just say, you know what, fuck this guy who cant wait a few hours to text me. and then like i said earlier, just forget about the whole thing.

its not probable, but it is possible. give her a bit of benefit of the doubt
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Old 12-22-2008, 05:11 PM   #55
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i agree. but she might be pissed off at someone for getting woken up. its kinda disrespectful, and when she's half asleep she might just say, you know what, fuck this guy who cant wait a few hours to text me. and then like i said earlier, just forget about the whole thing.

its not probable, but it is possible. give her a bit of benefit of the doubt
Yeah, its troublesome but in addition, if a girl had any attraction in him, he should be able to get away with more than just a 5am text message. Hell, I bully my chick for shits n' giggles but as long as she knows its not serious and its just playful banter with each other, she's cool with it.

I've even known of girls in my past, girls of my friends who let us get away with cheating. Nonetheless, this relationship with Nintensity and the girl will never work because there's no balance between his attraction to her, and her attraction to him.
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Old 12-22-2008, 05:23 PM   #56
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I get text messages while I'm sleeping all the time. And even if I'm annoyed at being woken up, if I care about the person, even just as a friend, I'll text them back. More than likely something along the lines of "fuck off and call me later, ily!" lol. Only certain people can get away with texting me and not having me get mad at them.
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Old 12-22-2008, 05:24 PM   #57
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True enough. But if a girl really digs you, she'd respond as soon as she wakes up. Even a semi-interested girl will warrant a quick 10 sec short text msg just for the sake of acknowledgement.
this is true. even if it's 3am (and i hear it) i'll do a quick reply even though it probably won't make any sense cause i'm half asleep
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Old 12-22-2008, 05:29 PM   #58
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standing corrected then.
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Old 12-22-2008, 08:44 PM   #59
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Good for you Nin! You'll get over her, don't worry =] Your friends will help you along the way I'm sure of it! If she isn't willing to put 100% of herself into a friendship, why remain friends?
That's true, even as a friend, at least I would expect a text back from her, but I guess I thought wrong. I don't think she has forgotten. The moment she would check her messages she usually replies to mine, but this time I haven't gotten anything, no call, no text, nada. I dont' know. Maybe she's having second thoughts about me and gave up the exact same time I gave up on her.

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Anyways, GJ moving on. It would have really fucked you up big time when you've invested so much effort in her, and a guy she likes comes along and takes her for a fraction of the effort you've placed.

That'll fuck your mind right out.
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I've even known of girls in my past, girls of my friends who let us get away with cheating. Nonetheless, this relationship with Nintensity and the girl will never work because there's no balance between his attraction to her, and her attraction to him.
I wasted too much time with her, and I get zero respect back, although we do have good friend quality time with each other, but in the long run, she's not meant to be the one I deserve. If she likes someone else, in which I think so. She would've told me in the beginning, even as friends. That way, I would have thought the relationship differently between the two of us, thus I wouldn't waste my time trying to woo her out.



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this is true. even if it's 3am (and i hear it) i'll do a quick reply even though it probably won't make any sense cause i'm half asleep
Ditto. The least I would do is reply back when I wake up.
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Old 12-22-2008, 10:39 PM   #60
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HOLY who texts at 5am.

The truth is, unless she is extremely interested, most people will not respond to a message like that. If I get a text from someone while I am asleep, and I wake up and see it a few hours later, I'm not going to reply just because it's too delayed now. If it's that important I'm sure I'll get sent a new text, or called.

I think texting her to confirm was a mistake to begin with, I mean once that date's set, it's set, there's no need to re-confirm it. It just gives her an easy chance to change her answer.

It's hard to be so interested in a girl, and not have that feeling be returned. This is where it gets even harder, and you have to just move on, because if you can't, it will also kill any chance at friendship. The best and easiest way to get over it is to simply move on to a new girl, I know this feeling, and trust me you don't want to mope around and wait for any sliver of hope or another chance, it will just drive you crazy

p.s.

I wouldn't write her off as not being a friend just yet, I think she knows you still have strong feelings for her, and friendship isn't possible at this point because she'd basically be leading you on, so what she could be doing is basically giving you a 'time out'. She's soft rejected you so many times (and I don't mean that in a disrespectful way at all, sorry if it comes across that way), that now she is cutting off all communication to hammer her message home. As long as you both stop contacting each other, give it two or three weeks, and see if she comes around.
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Old 12-23-2008, 12:01 AM   #61
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i don't think there's such thing as a soft rejection. we'll have to wait and see, i guess.
just move on out, Nin. no point in waiting around if things haven't escalated yet.
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Old 12-23-2008, 12:12 AM   #62
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You texted her early in the morning, for the date u two had set up for today. She obviously remembers that you two were going to be doing something today, but she probably only agreed on it in the first place because she didn't want to shut you down. But since u text her, she probably thought you sounded desperate and just left it like that. And....

You did the right thing to move on. I was in a similar situation as you before and i also chose to just say "Fuck it, I tried enough, i made it clear to her that i had feelings for her and she doesn't feel the same way" You have made it crystal clear to her already. Like everyone else says, you can't force someone else to have feelings for you.

Being in a situation like that isn't even good for you. The only thing you're thinking about would be her and it would drive you crazy when you dont get a reply to a text or a phone call.

Good Luck.
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Old 12-23-2008, 10:05 AM   #63
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I think texting her to confirm was a mistake to begin with, I mean once that date's set, it's set, there's no need to re-confirm it. It just gives her an easy chance to change her answer.
That's only true if a girl is interested in the guy and the date. Maybe he needed to confirm they are going out because although she may have already agreed, the agreement seemed to have been flaky.

Seriously though, when a girl takes a long time to answer a simple question, it's most likely because she doesn't want to answer it and is putting off the response until she really has to make one.
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Old 12-23-2008, 10:22 AM   #64
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Well, the snow was a big hassle for both of us, which was one of the reasons WHY i texted her to confirm. She could have said "i'm sorry, Nintensity, with snow as bad as this, I don't think i can make it tonight. I'll call you later". or at least a simple "no" wouldn't have left me in this situation. What's done is done.

Noir, good analogy =)
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Old 12-23-2008, 10:37 AM   #65
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She kept the ball in her court, on purpose. If she doesn't call, that's pretty much all you need to know.
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Old 12-23-2008, 11:03 AM   #66
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no answer, is your answer

that's what i work by anyways
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Old 12-23-2008, 01:53 PM   #67
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She kept the ball in her court, on purpose. If she doesn't call, that's pretty much all you need to know.
24 second shot clock violation.
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Old 12-23-2008, 03:36 PM   #68
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If you're reading this right now, and still thinking of her, do yourself a favour and STOP.
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Old 12-23-2008, 03:41 PM   #69
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^it'll take time for him

Just think about what if you two became a couple, you'd constantly have to ask her how she feels about you because she's such a closed book and so ungrateful. You'd do so many things for her just because you want her to increase her feelings for you. Do you really want a relationship like that? Wouldn't you rather have a girl that likes you for who you are and someone you don't have to doubt.
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Old 12-23-2008, 06:25 PM   #70
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Heh. I just received a text from her just just minutes ago
"What did you do yesterday"

ohh wow. i know I have to get over her, but I don't know if I should respond or not.
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Old 12-23-2008, 06:53 PM   #71
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lol.. i tend to do this so I'm gonna ask you:

Don't you think that you might be over analyzing things too much?

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Old 12-23-2008, 07:27 PM   #72
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Heh. I just received a text from her just just minutes ago
"What did you do yesterday"

ohh wow. i know I have to get over her, but I don't know if I should respond or not.
LOL I guess the 2-3 weeks was a bit off in this case....what was that like 1 day

You don't know if you should respond...then don't. I wouldn't. I hope you didn't.
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:54 PM   #73
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Heh. I just received a text from her just just minutes ago
"What did you do yesterday"

ohh wow. i know I have to get over her, but I don't know if I should respond or not.

That's fine. Take your time deciding.

Anyways, my thoughts are that she's just stringing you along. She's only giving you this miniscule bit of attention to keep you interested enough to keep you wrapped around her finger, that small faint of hope which is actually all a farce. Don't play her game. Play your own. And if she doesn't want to play along, then that's her prob, not yours.

Cheers mate.
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Old 12-23-2008, 09:59 PM   #74
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I second what Noir and Endless are saying.
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Old 12-23-2008, 10:23 PM   #75
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Update!

Meh, I didn't respond, which was probably what you guys would've done in the first place. However, I received this call earlier on this evening. (Mind you, I don't have callerID). It was her.

Her first line was "Why didn't you reply to my message?"
I then proceeded to tell her that I was busy and that I would call her later when I have the time to do so. Unfortunately, she proceeded by leading the conversation to another topic.
"What did you do yesterday?" which reflected the message that she sent me earlier on today.
From there this is where I would disappoint you guys. I went back to my regular self and told her that I decided to go up skiing to grouse as I didn't want to miss out on such a beautiful sunny day yesterday. Laughs exchange.
But truthfully, I stayed home and worked on projects on my computer and did some cleaning around the house as I waited for her call/text all day yesterday.
She persists that we do something after xmas considering that she bailed out on me yesterday.

Knowing that you guys would have shaken your heads in shame, I should have said no in the first place and should have left her hanging and wondering about me..but being the nice guy I am, I said yes.
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