Speak it Out

[SpeedStars]

Had my first "fight" today... fuck I don't understand women sometimes. One thing leads to another that's completely unrelated to whatever you're trying to say. Fuck.

[stewie]

Originally Posted by SpeedStars

Had my first "fight" today... fuck I don't understand women sometimes. One thing leads to another that's completely unrelated to whatever you're trying to say. Fuck.

you think thats bad? im pretty sure i had my last fight today, im going to be single on next saturday. she's been making up excuses to fight with me because shes got so much bullshit stress from trying to set up a wedding shower that shes bitten off more than she can handle. she asks me to help with things, i offer as much help as possible, but if my help isn't 100% aligned with her vision of how things will need to be done, i might as well sit back in a lawn chair and watch her struggle. she asks for my opinions on decorating ideas, asking if i like this or this better...if i pick the wrong one she storms off like a 12 year old. shes stressed to the point where she wont even talk to me now(5 days now), and when she did this morning for 2 minutes via text, she basically said that since all this wedding shower shit started, shes now realizes how far off from her needs i am. news flash for her - she thinks relationships are like in the movies where they never have fights, they never have different opinions, and they grow old together happy...it aint ever like that... so now i got a few years wasted down the drain...i try as hard as i can to make her realize that shes making a bad decision and one strictly out of stress....but shes to foolish to see it.

she needs prozac or something...

[tiger_handheld]

Originally Posted by stewie

you think thats bad? im pretty sure i had my last fight today, im going to be single on next saturday. she's been making up excuses to fight with me because shes got so much bullshit stress from trying to set up a wedding shower that shes bitten off more than she can handle. she asks me to help with things, i offer as much help as possible, but if my help isn't 100% aligned with her vision of how things will need to be done, i might as well sit back in a lawn chair and watch her struggle. she asks for my opinions on decorating ideas, asking if i like this or this better...if i pick the wrong one she storms off like a 12 year old. shes stressed to the point where she wont even talk to me now(5 days now), and when she did this morning for 2 minutes via text, she basically said that since all this wedding shower shit started, shes now realizes how far off from her needs i am. news flash for her - she thinks relationships are like in the movies where they never have fights, they never have different opinions, and they grow old together happy...it aint ever like that... so now i got a few years wasted down the drain...i try as hard as i can to make her realize that shes making a bad decision and one strictly out of stress....but shes to foolish to see it.

she needs prozac or something...

bolded for Z!

i've been there bro, they usually come around when they see it.

[stewie]

Originally Posted by tiger_handheld

bolded for Z!

i've been there bro, they usually come around when they see it.

sad thing is is that she probably wont.

we've been together, shit was great, then i got diagnosed with a brain cyst and it left me with epilepsy. no more driving, riding my bike, shooting, scuba diving, able to get around on my own since it took almost 2 years before they could get me on a stable amount of pills...was on a career path of trying/applying to fire departments etc. my life was put on hold, and i know its not easy for her either. i went from 190-200lbs in the gym 5 days a week...to 160lbs due to not being able to leave my couch for quite some time. so for the past 2 years shes been my main source of transportation which has been a burden on her i can only assume since we live in opposite cities (me in burnaby, her in maple ridge..borderline mission)

im actually meeting with a neurologist at vgh tomorrow to find out if im accepted into being a candidate for brain surgery to remove it(taken 2 years of testing to get this far). if so, after a year i could be back to my normal self and possibly be driving again and taking a load of her shoulder. if not, its still probably one more reason why its to hard to be with her and me not able to fit her needs (not sexually). so if i get bad news tomorrow, im kinda fucked and will be spending the next several years alone. cause lets face it, chicks dont want a guy who cant get around on his own anymore, has to pop pills every day, its not exactly ideal. i used to avoid girls who didnt own a car, now i know how it feels.

[Pegacorn]

^ That is rough, but if she can't handle the rough stuff then you're better off without her. Shit gets real. Life is tough. If she wants a movie relationship she's going to have a hard time finding it.

Don't give up on yourself yet, though. I dated someone with epilepsy. I didn't see him as any less of a person or man because of it, even when he was having grand mal seizures on the bathroom floor. He had no trouble finding people to love him, before or after me and it certainly wasn't the epilepsy that broke us up. Lots of kinds of chicks in the world and some of them are strong enough to wade through the shitty bits for the good bits.

Good luck at the neurologist!

[sloansabbith]

Originally Posted by stewie

sad thing is is that she probably wont.

we've been together, shit was great, then i got diagnosed with a brain cyst and it left me with epilepsy. no more driving, riding my bike, shooting, scuba diving, able to get around on my own since it took almost 2 years before they could get me on a stable amount of pills...was on a career path of trying/applying to fire departments etc. my life was put on hold, and i know its not easy for her either. i went from 190-200lbs in the gym 5 days a week...to 160lbs due to not being able to leave my couch for quite some time. so for the past 2 years shes been my main source of transportation which has been a burden on her i can only assume since we live in opposite cities (me in burnaby, her in maple ridge..borderline mission)

im actually meeting with a neurologist at vgh tomorrow to find out if im accepted into being a candidate for brain surgery to remove it(taken 2 years of testing to get this far). if so, after a year i could be back to my normal self and possibly be driving again and taking a load of her shoulder. if not, its still probably one more reason why its to hard to be with her and me not able to fit her needs (not sexually). so if i get bad news tomorrow, im kinda fucked and will be spending the next several years alone. cause lets face it, chicks dont want a guy who cant get around on his own anymore, has to pop pills every day, its not exactly ideal. i used to avoid girls who didnt own a car, now i know how it feels.

First off, I'm just going to throw this out there... It is true when they say, people only like to hear what they want to hear. However, when you're in a relationship (romantic or platonic), wouldn't you want the truth, no matter how awful it sounded? (Maybe that's just me..) That said, isn't it unfair to be mad at your significant other because they said something you didn't want to hear? (i.e. wedding shower ideas you weren't so fond of) I think the movies are such bullshit. You can't always finish each other's sentences and be in sync without mishaps. It shouldn't be idealistic to have a relationship where you don't fight. Fights aren't bad, insofar as both parties can communicate their feelings. The bad connotation to fighting, I think, comes from a cultural rhetoric of "we fight, we can't see eye to eye, we break up, we get back together, and do it all over again." Though, from where I stand, disagreements bring about true character. And this encompasses all facets of the said disagreement. The beginning, the middle, and the end. The fight itself. The festering of emotions. Then the resolution. I think true colours show when tempers rise and that's always a good way to learn more about yourself and the person you are with.

---

I'm going through some physically life altering mishaps of my own. Going from able bodied to the other end of the spectrum is extremely tough. It isn't an adjustment for yourself, but like you said, for everyone around you as well. I think it's....kind (is that the right word?) of you to justify her frustrations and explain how tough it has been on her since your diagnosis. But I think that you're implicating yourself when you shouldn't have to. I hate to say it, but wedding vows have a point (within the context of weddings, and without). "...in sickness and in health..." Know what I mean? I'm not saying your gf is awful. I've seen my fair share of frustrated people around me having issues coping with my changes too. But I find it more damaging to me in my coping and healing if I let my situation be the excuse for insensitive behaviour. You didn't chose your situation. But those around you can chose how they respond to your situation.

In any case, I'm sending good vibrations your way!!! Hopefully it's nothing but good news from the doctors! And perchance the news isn't what you were hoping for, if the girls you find from here on out avoid you because of this diagnosis and the effects it has on your life, then you need to look elsewhere. Trust me, there are way bigger hearts elsewhere.

[Inaii]

Originally Posted by stewie

im actually meeting with a neurologist at vgh tomorrow to find out if im accepted into being a candidate for brain surgery to remove it(taken 2 years of testing to get this far). if so, after a year i could be back to my normal self and possibly be driving again and taking a load of her shoulder. if not, its still probably one more reason why its to hard to be with her and me not able to fit her needs (not sexually). so if i get bad news tomorrow, im kinda fucked and will be spending the next several years alone. cause lets face it, chicks dont want a guy who cant get around on his own anymore, has to pop pills every day, its not exactly ideal. i used to avoid girls who didnt own a car, now i know how it feels.

Good luck stewie! I hope everything works out for you

[k3mps]

girls love to fuck with our minds don't they...

[sloansabbith]

Let's be real here, people like to fuck with other people's minds all the time. Regardless of being a girl or a guy.

(maybe girls more so than guys, but you can't be blind to the fact that it goes both ways...)

[Pegacorn]

Originally Posted by k3mps

girls love to fuck with our minds don't they...

Guys love to fuck with girls' minds, too.
Nobody is safe.
In a perfect world, people who like to fuck with other people's minds are only allowed to date other people who do the same thing. They can all self-destruct together and leave the rest of us to have open, honest, mature relationships :P

[!Yaminashi]

Originally Posted by stewie

you think thats bad? im pretty sure i had my last fight today, im going to be single on next saturday. she's been making up excuses to fight with me because shes got so much bullshit stress from trying to set up a wedding shower that shes bitten off more than she can handle. she asks me to help with things, i offer as much help as possible, but if my help isn't 100% aligned with her vision of how things will need to be done, i might as well sit back in a lawn chair and watch her struggle. she asks for my opinions on decorating ideas, asking if i like this or this better...if i pick the wrong one she storms off like a 12 year old. shes stressed to the point where she wont even talk to me now(5 days now), and when she did this morning for 2 minutes via text, she basically said that since all this wedding shower shit started, shes now realizes how far off from her needs i am. news flash for her - she thinks relationships are like in the movies where they never have fights, they never have different opinions, and they grow old together happy...it aint ever like that... so now i got a few years wasted down the drain...i try as hard as i can to make her realize that shes making a bad decision and one strictly out of stress....but shes to foolish to see it.

she needs prozac or something...

This is why women need to stay away from these shows that try and portray lives of women like sex in the city. Shit in real life is not as easy as fucking movies and TV shows. Unfortunately most women are so caught up in social media and reality tv shows and shit they can't tell the difference so they start thinking everything must be how it is on TV.

Sorry to hear. Hopefully she comes to her senses and realizes that just because she's having trouble planning a wedding/the way you like to do things isn't the way she does things/maybe she needs to think using logic rather than emotions doesn't mean you aren't what she needs.

Actually wait, that's it up there. Women don't use their heads when they make decisions under stress. They use EMOTIONS.
Therefore, based on my math, when she isn't stressed anymore, she won't be able to justify stupid decisions based on her EMOTIONS, and will hopefully use LOGIC. Hopefully.

Best of luck. Some "women" will always just be girls.

[JShifter]

Please call me back today...

[iHeat]

We're not even together and you're already crazy

abort or what?

[sloansabbith]

Originally Posted by iHeat

We're not even together and you're already crazy

abort or what?

Abort.



Craziness is the dysphemism for insecure. Being together could bring about more insecurities than satisfy them...

[Akinari]

Why the fuck am I still living at home going through this psychological abuse...

[zetazeta]

Where am I going with all this?

[BrRsn]

[digitalgirl]

disagree without being disagreeable

[iHeat]

Originally Posted by sloansabbith

Abort.



Craziness is the dysphemism for insecure. Being together could bring about more insecurities than satisfy them...

super hot 10/10 tho

[320icar]

welp. i dont really like my girlfriends mother. she has a warm heart and is a great person, but every single word that comes out of her mouth is something negative. she came by to pick up sarah to see her grandfather in the carehome for fathers day (belated due to schedule conflicts) and the ~10 minutes she was over, i heard

- ........... (she came in the door and didn't even say hi to be for about 3 minutes though im right in front of her..)
- this is fake hard wood floor right? *stomp stomp stomp* hmm..
- whats wrong with your cat? why is he so fat
- your other one looks cute but why is she so un friendly
- is that funny money? (referring to some USD i had on the table, got back from vegas late last night)
- who in the right mind would own one of these? (my gf's airsoft pistol)
- this suite must have been two rooms? they did it all wrong. the roof could probably collapse any minute now
- lets hope you know how to mop that fake hardwood and not ruin it
- what is this clown looking bike? someone should have made it nicer (referring to my gulf racing road bike)

the best one was that, sarah made a little sign for me on the counter that reads "welcome home baby! i missed you!!" with an xoxoxoxoxo border and stuff so when i came home from vegas i would see it, since she'll already be in bed. it was still on the counter and her mother says "sarah, who is this sign for? did you make it for everett? thats sorta weird.." and everett is sarah's cat..... i stood there, and said " uh.. i was out of town for the weekend, she made it for me"

"oh................................ eh...."

----

seriously. i would not survive a day in an environment like that, and if i had children i would never ever ever ever want them exposed to something like that. i have no idea how sarah got out so happy and cheerful and motivated. im not saying i dont like her mother, BUT its something im going to have to get used to i guess. she also smokes. blehh

[palepilsenpin0y]

Things are going pretty well, but I really hope this isn't a dead end.

[Mr.HappySilp]

Thai Surprise!!!!

[guurl]

doubting everything

[Armind]

The struggle is real.

[kakucaekz]

Wish I kept in contact with you, almost 10 years later and still cute af. Pretty sure your bubbly personality hasn't gone either.